A baptism of fire. I had just moved to the city. It was a new community development project. On a local housing estate, a gang of youths was harassing residents at night. This mostly involved stopping people at knife-point or setting fire to litter stacked against people’s house doors. Here was my mission…if I chose to accept it: to work at night, infiltrate the gang, stop what they were doing and convince them to do something more constructive with their lives. I was 21 years old, wore an earring, combat trousers, white trainers and black leather jacket. They thought I should fit in. I worked alongside Dan, an experienced detached youth worker. We set out at 10pm each evening, wandered the streets and hoped to find the gang. I wondered what would happen when we did. The youth worker gave me two practical words of advice: ‘1. Always carry money and, 2. Always ensure we are outnumbered.’ I felt puzzled, laughed nervously and replied, ‘Surely you mean 1. Never carry money and, 2. Always ensure we outnumber them? Isn’t that a better way to stay safe?’ This was my first encounter with counterintuitive thinking in youth and community development work. Dan elaborated: ‘If a gang tells you to hand over your money and you do, they are likely to leave you alone. If you say you have no money, they probably won’t believe you and may well attack you to rob you.’ I responded, ‘Oh – and outnumbered..?’ He replied, ‘If we outnumber them as we approach them, they may feel threatened and attack us. If they outnumber us, they are less likely to feel threatened and more likely to be curious.’ Later that night, we did find the gang huddled under a dim street light. Dan walked casually into their midst, lit a cigarette, smiled…and said, ‘Hi.’ DeBono calls this lateral thinking. It’s a way of approaching a person or situation that involves challenging default perceptions, instincts, logic, decisions and actions and trying out radical alternatives instead. It’s like the judo teacher who instructs, ‘If an aggressive person grabs you by the lapels and pulls you forward, walk towards them rather than instinctively pull back.’ Jesus modelled it to dramatic effect. It can feel mind-bending, universe-warping, paradigm-shifting. It can be hard to do. Yet it can also yield creative and innovative results. What have been your best counterintuitive moments, insights and ideas?
36 Comments
Adrian Spurrell
10/1/2017 12:56:11 pm
I've increasingly started to understand that my best course of action is to do the opposite of my first instinct!
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Nick Wright
10/1/2017 12:57:11 pm
Hi Adrian. I'm curious. Was that response your first instinct or the opposite to it..? ;)
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Adrian Spurrell
13/1/2017 12:48:25 pm
Neither it was a considered response. A brief consideration I'll grant you :)
Nick Wright
13/1/2017 12:49:07 pm
:)
Andy Scantland
10/1/2017 03:10:10 pm
I like the idea to try moving counter-intuitively as a way to create new paths. the article made me curious- were you able to move the gang to more constructive activity?
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Nick Wright
10/1/2017 03:13:08 pm
Thanks Andy. That's a good way of expressing it. 'What happened next' with the gang would be a whole new blog! It was a steep learning curve for me in terms of seeing and understanding the influence of systems of people and communities, e.g. the impact of related interventions by police, social services, housing officials etc.
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Ian Brownlee
11/1/2017 01:03:52 pm
It appears that what you are talking about is known as “Cognitive Dissonance” which focuses on how we strive for internal consistency. Someone who experiences inconsistency tends to become psychologically uncomfortable, and tries to reduce this dissonance, as well as actively avoid situations and information likely to increase it. I have seen police using CD when dealing with, for example, family disputes: One time two officers walked into a house where a very angry man was threating all kinds of mayhem. The senior office immediately said that he smelt gas and that they should all get out ASAP. The man immediately calmed down and headed out the door with the rest of the family. Problem solved!
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Nick Wright
11/1/2017 01:06:38 pm
Hi Ian. I think we can experience cognitive dissonance when we encounter counterintuition. It can feel confusing and disorientating. Thanks for the great example of lateral thinking by the police!
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Sarah Clark
12/1/2017 12:56:49 am
Great article nick, when I work with gang members in my criminal justice role I take time to earn their trust and if they tell me they won't look at me I wait a few sessions and then they are not only looking at me but telling me what they had for breakfast and working on setting goals. So going with your gut instinct, using your soft skills and having trust that humanity and humility will win out.
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Nick Wright
12/1/2017 12:57:41 am
Thanks Sarah. It sounds like you handle your work skilfully and sensitively.
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Karen Fugle
12/1/2017 04:29:06 am
Reminds of a time in my youth when I was crossing a section of road next to a busy roundabout. To take a shortcut I was walking on the edge of an island - just wide enough for one person. All of a sudden this man came running, screaming, with his hands out towards me, straight at me, from the other end of the island. I couldn't move left into the bushes and I couldn't move right onto the busy road so I froze - he looked like a nutter and I thought he would plow me over. I loudly said "Hello!" smiling like I knew him. It stopped him and the screaming in his tracks. His turn to freeze! He ended up hugging me. I was stuck there for about 15min, listening to him talk about ending his life. I find it interesting how I processed my options and came up with that solution in what seemed like one second. Thank heavens.
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Nick Wright
12/1/2017 04:32:30 am
Hi Karen. Thanks for sharing such a dramatic account from personal experience. You reminded me of when I once saw a man attacking another, beating him badly. I instinctively ran across to the attacker, rather than the attacked, to ask with empathy if he was OK. I was surprised that I did that, but not as surprised as the attacker! He looked at me, confused, and walked away. The other man thanked me for saving his life.
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Karen Fugle
12/1/2017 01:47:53 pm
Well, that is surprising! I'll definitely keep that approach up my sleeve. It seems these stories are perfect examples of 'conversational intelligence' (I'm reading the book). Instead of treating the attackers like enemies, we both showed caring for someone. As a result, their brain chemistry made a shift, they become calmer and began to think in a more constructive way.
Nick Wright
12/1/2017 01:50:46 pm
Hi Karen. I think there's also something about unexpectedly acting in what appears to be the opposite to what we might expect or do normally that can jolt us or others out of what they are thinking or doing.
Jan Moore
12/1/2017 07:45:27 am
What a great concept. Your article and the brilliant comments have really made me think about how i can use this in my coaching practice.
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Nick Wright
12/1/2017 07:46:04 am
Many thanks, Jan. I would love to hear how you use it!
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Noelia Fernandez
13/1/2017 02:27:42 am
This is a great article Nick.
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Nick Wright
13/1/2017 02:28:09 am
Thanks Noelia. :)
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Robert Martinez
13/1/2017 06:03:26 am
Looking at things in novel ways generates interesting solutions. Enjoyed the article.
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Nick Wright
13/1/2017 06:04:05 am
I agree, Robert. Thank you.
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Amanda Cookson
13/1/2017 03:52:02 pm
I would love to know more & what happened next.
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Nick Wright
13/1/2017 03:52:37 pm
Thanks Amanda. It's a long story..!
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Martine Dinh
14/1/2017 01:25:04 am
Great story and reminder thank you for sharing. "We always have a choice" and "let people do more of what they're good at and they will improve on their weaker points" have been my most counterintuitive realisations so far...
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Nick Wright
14/1/2017 01:27:53 am
Thanks Martine. One of my recent counterintuitive insights is that, 'In order to cover more ground in coaching, make less time available for it.'
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Nick Wright
20/1/2017 01:41:19 am
Nick, that's an interesting one! I hope we'll get to read more in one of your next posts... And I agree that sometimes constraints support us doing a better job than luxury of time, funds, expert support....
Nick Wright
20/1/2017 01:41:43 am
Thanks Martine! :)
Patricia Blackman
15/1/2017 07:48:03 am
I no longer use training books... why? Because students do not read books, they simply become dust collectors. I trained using actual files, and students take notes and do teach backs, they become responsible for their learning, and it works very well. No one every falls asleep in my class!
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Nick Wright
15/1/2017 07:49:12 am
Hi Patricia. I'm curious. Does that mean you engage learners in teaching the group?
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Patricia Blackman
26/1/2017 02:49:43 am
Absolutely! I teach in 1/2 days, students take notes, ask questions, the second half day, they do teachbacks on exercises I have prepared for them.
Nick Wright
26/1/2017 02:50:43 am
Thanks Patricia. A great way to consolidate and advance learning!
Sonia Bhattacharyya
16/1/2017 12:49:07 am
Interesting read. Isn't it counterintuition that is used the the 'nudge' method of influencing people?
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Nick Wright
16/1/2017 12:49:45 am
Thanks Sonia. I don't know...but I can imagine how it could be.
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Ilze Jansone (Kelers)
18/1/2017 02:46:58 am
There is also a "them-us" assumption which is challenged by your example (and by Jesus as well).
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Nick Wright
18/1/2017 02:49:56 am
Hi Ilze. I am intrigued. Can you say more? You may relate to this short piece too? http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/i-am-them
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Ilze Jansone (Kelers)
19/1/2017 04:49:40 am
Thank you for sharing. Yes, I think you're right - they're actually versions of the same story. It brings to mind 1 Jn 4,18
Nick Wright
19/1/2017 04:51:09 am
Thanks Ilze. 1 John 4:18 is a good spiritual insight to reflect on. Leave a Reply. |
Nick WrightNick is a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant with over 18,000 followers on LinkedIn. How can I help you? Get in touch! info@nick-wright.com
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