I have rarely witnessed such a humbling, authentic act of generosity. I was in the Philippines for the past 2 weeks visiting people and communities who are, by global standards, economically poor. The Filipina who accompanied me is poor too. She grew up in a remote jungle hut with no running water, electricity or sanitation. She works hard, long hours to support her children, family and community, determined that others should have better opportunities in life that she has experienced in her own. We were walking through an island village with children, teenagers and parents staring and smiling to see these strange visitors. The homes they were living in had only one room, no facilities, and we were passing a small hut with snacks hanging outside it on strings. It served as the village shop. We hadn’t eaten or had anything to drink for some time and the weather was hot and humid so I handed some money to my guide to buy herself some food. What happened next took me completely by surprise. This young woman bought all the snacks that were hanging there and immediately handed them to the intrigued children that had surrounded us. Then she walked around, handing them openly to mothers who were carrying toddlers – and toyed playfully with teenagers who wanted some too but were too shy to ask. The scene around us was transformed into one of spontaneous celebration with smiles everywhere and children running and laughing excitedly. It reminded me of Spirit, of incarnation, of Jesus. As we left the village with these images and sounds still dancing vividly in my mind, I commented to this special person, ‘You were amazing with them.’ She looked at me, wide eyed, and replied quite simply, ‘Nick – I am them.’ Those words detonated deeply in my soul. As leaders, OD and coaches, how far do we view staff, clients etc. as ‘them’, distinct from ‘us’? How would it impact on our presence, our behaviour, our effectiveness if we shifted our perspective, our stance, to one of radical identity with..?
182 Comments
Adrian Spurrell
22/11/2016 11:06:07 am
There is no them; no other.
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Nick Wright
22/11/2016 11:07:02 am
Hi Adrian. The power of language to reflect and construct reality.
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Hamish Taylor
22/11/2016 12:44:44 pm
Powerful stuff.
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Nick Wright
22/11/2016 12:45:10 pm
Thanks Hamish. Had a powerful impact on me.
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Hamish Taylor
22/11/2016 03:57:52 pm
I get some of the same spirit when I am in the rural SAVA areas of Madagascar and in the vanilla fields of Uganda. Thanks to my job, I am able to make a difference to thousands of lives - quite humbling and uniquely satisfying at the same time.
Nick Wright
22/11/2016 03:59:05 pm
Thanks Hamish. I have had a similar privilege through my work with international NGOs.
Rula Sater
22/11/2016 01:17:33 pm
This is a beautiful story-also brought tears to my eyes. I am you (them) is true-and to answer your question, this requires deep self introspection to understand and to "implement". I imagine it was the way we are "supposed" to be because I've seen it in times of suffering-people reach out regardless and help each other. I wish this was how we were all taught....Could you imagine the possibilities?
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Nick Wright
22/11/2016 01:23:01 pm
Thanks Rula. I too have noticed how people who experience, or who have experienced, pain or hardship sometimes reach out to others more readily. Perhaps it is about experiencing a deeper awareness of vulnerability or compassion...or recognising the need for each other?
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Tara Parker
22/11/2016 02:28:22 pm
Nick,
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Nick Wright
22/11/2016 04:14:43 pm
Thanks Tara. I'm intrigued... Can you say more about what the starting line, goal line and finishing lines mean for you?
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Don Ukens
22/11/2016 03:46:26 pm
I think "our" problem starts with generations who were not brought up to appreciate what they have. Stories like these just prove it.
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Nick Wright
22/11/2016 03:56:56 pm
Hi Don. What is the problem that you perceive...that this story proves?
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Kristine Hart
22/11/2016 04:00:13 pm
Yes ... of course We are ... Beautiful.
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Nick Wright
22/11/2016 04:00:53 pm
Hi Kristine. Say more..?
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Jayne Harrison
22/11/2016 04:01:25 pm
Lovely Nick. This resonates so much with how I'm feeling about other divisions in the World. We are all 'them' - human them. How did we get to this place of separation from one another? Thank you. This brought tears to my eyes. It says a lot about how rare kindness is these days.
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Nick Wright
22/11/2016 04:08:21 pm
Thanks Jayne. I believe that the 'us/them' construct is an almost inevitable consequence of focus on group identity and culture. The more I focus on who I am/we are as distinct from who you are/they are, the more I am likely to develop and sustain a sense of 'us/them'. This is where beliefs and values are so important - how to create a sense of I/us that reaches out with kindness rather than builds defensive walls because that's how we choose to be, what we choose to do. The girl in this story chooses to give her life for others every day because she is inspired by Jesus giving his life for her. She humbles and inspires me!
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Jayne Harrison
25/11/2016 10:45:30 am
Yes, in conversational intelligence, there is the power of 'we' - in all interactions. Thank you for your detailed response - it is much appreciated.
Nick Wright
25/11/2016 10:46:22 am
Thanks Jayne. Yes, the notion of 'we' is intrinsic to relationship.
Cath Norris
22/11/2016 04:09:14 pm
Nick thanks for this beautiful account. I think in part why we separate ourselves off is down to the extent that we fear the vulnerability inherent in inequality. We get caught up in the privilege and fear it's loss. I think that we also fail to see how we also carry the views and experiences which we marginalise inside of ourselves. We separate from the shadow - or what we perceive as the shadow.
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Nick Wright
22/11/2016 04:12:31 pm
Hi Cath. I agree. And very profound! Interestingly, the girl I wrote about here doesn't respond out of some sophisticated intellectual theory of poverty and development. She responds instinctively from the heart. She sees a need and, almost without thinking in the moment, responds with love.
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Cath Norris
23/11/2016 09:16:05 am
Hi Nick, my sense was that she responded because she saw herself when she saw them. No separation. I sense that in part that might reflect a culture which is based on 'us / we' rather than 'I / me'. Then again it might just come from her own sweet, unique self. I think that as coaches we learn to evolve our sense of 'us/ we'. Or we're drawn to coaching because we already have that on some level. I just know that I do still feel separation and for me it's really bound up in how I've been taught to relate. I feel something so isolating in the way my culture views 'us'. There's so much 'us and them'. What takes me beyond that is being in my heart because it doesn't recognise any separation.
Nick Wright
23/11/2016 09:18:24 am
Thanks Cath. Yes, there may be all sorts of psychodynamic and cultural influences at play. When I asked her what motivated her continual reaching out towards people with love and care, she simply responded that Jesus gave his life for her and that she is intensely thankful to Him for it.
James Rowe
22/11/2016 07:09:24 pm
I don't think I'll ever tire of this story, what a powerful reminder 'us' vs. 'them'. If we all could remember that there never is a 'them', the world would be a better place.
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Nick Wright
22/11/2016 07:11:31 pm
Thank you, James. I agree.
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Dawn Scott
22/11/2016 07:12:28 pm
Very thought provoking Nick. You know when you've made a connection with a client when it truly feels like you're with them. It's that point of connection when you feel some of what they are feeling
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Nick Wright
22/11/2016 07:13:52 pm
Thanks Dawn. Yes, 'being-with' can be transformational in itself.
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Mandi Lynn
22/11/2016 08:06:15 pm
This is a beautiful story and thought. Thank you.
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Nick Wright
22/11/2016 08:06:50 pm
Thanks Mandi. You're welcome.
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Lisa Face MSc, BSc
22/11/2016 08:19:01 pm
Worth reading this touching account from Nick showing generosity and kindness. Thanks for sharing Nick.
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Nick Wright
22/11/2016 08:19:30 pm
Thank you, Lisa.
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Ukuta Jeshua
22/11/2016 08:44:00 pm
Your guide and you did an amazing thing. It is rare for people to empathize with less privilege people.
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Nick Wright
22/11/2016 08:46:39 pm
Thanks Ukuta. I felt privileged, humbled and inspired to witness this amazing Filipina, to see how she lives her life in relationship to others.
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Nicole Casanova
22/11/2016 08:48:27 pm
I love Phillipinos! I travel there to lead a meditation retreat in the jungle a couple times of year. As a general culture, they are very kind, humble and generous always :)
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Nick Wright
22/11/2016 08:49:05 pm
Thanks Nicole. I am pleased that has been your experience too. :)
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Martella Diederiks
22/11/2016 09:51:01 pm
Sharing is caring.
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Nick Wright
22/11/2016 09:51:36 pm
Well said, Martella.
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Priya Ramesh
23/11/2016 08:40:10 am
As always...simply love it!
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Nick Wright
23/11/2016 08:40:31 am
Many thanks, Priya!
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Annette
23/11/2016 08:41:36 am
A beautiful post and an incredible vision. I could imagine being there with you in that moment.
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Nick Wright
23/11/2016 08:45:13 am
Thanks Annette. It was one of many such moments with this special woman in the Philippines. What an inspiration!
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Ramesh Sood
23/11/2016 08:42:18 am
An amazing post... Thanks a lot Nick!!! You made my day. I remember having read about a greeting that means - I am another you.. How beautiful.. RS
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Nick Wright
23/11/2016 08:43:53 am
Many thanks for such an encouraging response, Ramesh. Yes, I like that greeting too!
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Alison Whybrow
23/11/2016 08:46:01 am
Thank you for sharing. for some reason this triggered the memory of 'I am Charlie' we are one - a profound example.
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Nick Wright
23/11/2016 08:47:50 am
Thanks Alison. Yes, there are some parallels with the sentiment of 'Je Suis Charlie.'
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Joe Lauletta, M.A., EMSI
23/11/2016 08:48:17 am
This is great Nick! Glad you had such a moving experience and chose to share with us, namaste!
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Nick Wright
23/11/2016 08:48:44 am
Thank you for your kind feedback, Joe!
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Mark Jones
23/11/2016 09:35:48 am
Hi Nick, your story really resonates with my wife Jeanette and myself. We have experienced exactly the same paradox on many occasions in Bali where we have supported an orphanage and surrounding community for many years. Being humbled and accepted as part of their community and culture is priceless, however more importantly by engaging them in our projects we were able to instil immense joy, pride and ownership of the outcomes. Keep up your great work in Philippines.
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Nick Wright
23/11/2016 09:37:07 am
Thanks Mark. I agree wholeheartedly with your comment: 'Being humbled and accepted as part of their community and culture is priceless.' Keep up the good work in Bali!
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E.G.Sebastian (CPC)
23/11/2016 10:45:08 am
Wow, what a beautiful and moving story! :) - and yes, I coach mostly "me," and recognize myself often in my clients (this also makes my job way easier, than coaching someone with challenges unknown to me). But I'm not as giving as your guide :) - though, those who know me well might argue otherwise :) (except when I'm giving openly, it can result in a feeling of overwhelm, so I have to be really careful to give the right amount of resources/info/etc., at the right time).
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Nick Wright
23/11/2016 10:47:31 am
Thanks E.G. Yes, there's something about giving sensitively...
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Maria Rogers
23/11/2016 11:42:02 am
Thank you for sharing. Having spent 3 years as a VSO volunteer in the Philippines, I have just been taken back to my alternative home. A truly precious reminder of how simple life can be.
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Nick Wright
23/11/2016 11:42:34 am
Hi Maria. That sounds like an amazing life experience..!
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Sharon Fawcett
23/11/2016 11:51:14 am
Thank you for sharing Nick, I'm currently designing and has helped with how I approach the subjects.
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Nick Wright
23/11/2016 11:51:44 am
Thanks Sharon. I'm pleased you found it useful.
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Robert Dallmann
23/11/2016 01:28:01 pm
This reminds me of the Macedonians in 2 Corinthians chapter 8...
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Nick Wright
23/11/2016 01:28:24 pm
Thanks Robert. Yes, those verses certainly resonate with this experience.
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Mark Molitor
24/11/2016 08:46:16 am
Nick-you have captured such depth and wisdom so succinctly in what you've shared. Powerful and transformative if applied. Thank you from my heart!
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Nick Wright
24/11/2016 08:47:16 am
Hi Mark - and thanks for such heartwarming feedback!
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Linda Randazzo
24/11/2016 08:48:30 am
I am my audience and I am the one who always learns the most. No identification, no connection, no connection, no communication, no communication, no value.
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Nick Wright
24/11/2016 08:50:11 am
Hi Linda. Three words come to mind: rapport, credibility, trust.
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Maegan Carney MA
24/11/2016 08:51:16 am
There is an old saying from the 70's, "We are all bozos on the same bus". When we don't come from the place of humility and vulnerability, the 'I am them' perspective, we lose a critical opportunity to deeply relate with our clients. Part of the magic of therapy is the experience of authentic, open relationship that some clients are feeling for the first time.
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Nick Wright
24/11/2016 08:53:20 am
Hi Maegan and well said. I wonder if our emphasis on boundaries between therapist and client has sometimes diminished our willingness and ability to identify with..?
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Maegan Carney MA
25/11/2016 10:50:03 am
Yes Nick, also our entire culture is adverse to living, engaged vulnerability. It is a lot more difficult to execute than prescribed boundaries.
Nick Wright
25/11/2016 10:52:06 am
Hi Maegan. I guess it depends on which culture you are referring to and experiencing. Yes, I agree that vulnerability is often a quality of authentic relating.
Tania Potter
24/11/2016 08:54:10 am
What a powerful insight, thanks for sharing this experience , Nick. It is striking how very different, 'I am them', is from 'there but for the grace of God, go I'.
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Nick Wright
24/11/2016 08:55:07 am
Thank you, Tania. Yes, that is a striking contrast. Thanks for sharing that insight too!
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Amaka Uzokwe
24/11/2016 12:05:32 pm
She has a beautiful heart! God bless her!
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Nick Wright
24/11/2016 12:06:03 pm
Thanks Amaka. Yes, I agree!
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Earl Gray, CLC
24/11/2016 02:41:36 pm
Thank you for this gift, Nick.
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Nick Wright
24/11/2016 02:42:18 pm
Thank you, Earl. You're welcome.
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Marita Jane Laxa
24/11/2016 02:43:16 pm
Wow, what a blessed experience, Nick! Thank you for continuously sharing.
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Nick Wright
24/11/2016 02:44:00 pm
Thank you, Marita. Yes, I felt very blessed to spend time with this amazing girl.
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Jeff Cromwell
24/11/2016 02:44:55 pm
An abundance of positive emotion coupled with a 1000 minutes each day has economic positive spillover effects in the environment. :-)
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Nick Wright
24/11/2016 02:45:32 pm
Hi Jeff. Can you say a bit more about what you mean..? Thanks.
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Kelley Goulla
24/11/2016 03:34:07 pm
Amazing! Thank You for Sharing!
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Nick Wright
24/11/2016 03:34:36 pm
Thanks Kelley! :)
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Chia-Yi TUNG 董家宜
24/11/2016 03:55:15 pm
‘I am them.’ wow, powerful, thanks Nick for sharing this touching story. That's why we should always put ourselves out of our comfort zone, be surrounded by positive leaders whose views are bigger, wider and deeper, inspiring us to better ourselves.
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Nick Wright
24/11/2016 03:56:19 pm
Thanks Chia-Yi. You're welcome!
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Marleen de Bruijn
24/11/2016 04:23:59 pm
I am them!
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Nick Wright
24/11/2016 04:24:27 pm
Hi Marleen. I agree.
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Glenn Foulds
24/11/2016 07:02:49 pm
There is always something you can identify with. While giving training in Ethiopia, it was a all male group, so I talked about soccer! It worked a treat.....
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Nick Wright
24/11/2016 07:03:36 pm
Hi Glenn. That sounds like a great example of establishing rapport!
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Kholoud Alharbi
24/11/2016 07:05:26 pm
Wow she is super human being.....chapeau bas.
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Nick Wright
24/11/2016 07:06:39 pm
Hi Kholoud. Yes, she is certainly exceptional in my experience. :)
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Sandra Marshall
25/11/2016 09:37:31 am
Agreed wholeheartedly!
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Nick Wright
25/11/2016 09:38:05 am
Thanks Sandra!
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Colin Sander
25/11/2016 09:38:51 am
A reminder that communities, including businesses are actually groups of people who ideally care for each other.
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Nick Wright
25/11/2016 09:40:24 am
Hi Colin. Yes, that's one of the core goals and values at the heart of my own OD thinking and practice.
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Kathy Hilsinger Walliser, BS, MS HCAD
25/11/2016 09:41:06 am
A beautiful reminder of who we all are. Thanks for posting this eloquent and positive post.
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Nick Wright
25/11/2016 09:41:54 am
Thanks Kathy - I appreciate your kind feedback.
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Cindy Hyde
25/11/2016 09:42:40 am
Love this post Nick! It literally gave me goose bumps!
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Nick Wright
25/11/2016 09:44:05 am
Thanks Cindy. That's how I felt in the deeply evocative moment that I have tried to describe here..!
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Clifford Woods
25/11/2016 09:44:50 am
Mark 10:43-45
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Nick Wright
25/11/2016 09:45:40 am
Hi Clifford. Jesus is certainly the source of this girl's inspiration, motivation and love for others.
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Angela Okoli
25/11/2016 09:46:23 am
I am them. There's this viral video by Michelle Obama where she also talked about Us vs Them. The feeling of belonging is something we all should endeavor to always extend especially to those we actually think are less deserving. I really love this article and I hope we don't just feel touched but understand the inherent message in it.
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Nick Wright
25/11/2016 09:47:05 am
Thanks Angela. I pray too that I may be transformed by this girl's example, not simply moved or impressed by it.
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Brigitte Deden
25/11/2016 09:50:48 am
Nick, thank you for this touching story. At first I found the thought of "shifting our perspective to one of radical identity with our clients" intriguing, but I have also experienced that too high a level of empathy can be in my way of impactful coaching. The danger is there to become equally stuck in the same well with our client. At times, "gentle irreverence" as Terrie Lupberger, one of my wonderful mentors once phrased it, is a more resourceful state which allows me to remain at the brim of the well and hold the rope. What is it that I can't see here?
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Nick Wright
25/11/2016 09:52:35 am
Thanks Brigitte. I think that's a really important point in coaching practice. You may be interested in this short related piece that touches on the same ground...and some of the interesting comments posted by others in response: http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/just-enough
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Sonia Gavira
25/11/2016 09:53:38 am
Beautifully written and touching story of grace, empathy and identity and I agree Brigitte, that in some situations it would be worth considering - as a leader in an organisation perhaps at times, to bring you closer to those you lead, and yet as a coach that "gentle irreverence" you mention will be more helpful to the people we are coaching. It will allow us to see a perspectives ve that the person cannot perhaps see. And I guess even as a leader, it will be a balancing act between identifying with our people and maintaining a position from which different decisions can be made. Wonderfully thought provoking Nick, thank you 😊
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Nick Wright
25/11/2016 09:56:32 am
Many thanks Sonia. You may be interested in the short piece that I refer to in my response to Brigitte (above)..? In my coaching practice, I tend to lean towards detachment which is why, perhaps, this girl's very different stance impacted me so deeply. Thanks for your kind feedback. :)
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Agitator Partha
25/11/2016 10:09:36 am
That thou art.
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Nick Wright
25/11/2016 10:10:09 am
Hi Agitator. Say more?
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Ramesh Sood
25/11/2016 10:11:12 am
I have enjoyed the article thoroughly and love the lesson that shines there.. Thanks a lot..!!
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Nick Wright
25/11/2016 10:11:40 am
Thank you, Ramesh!!
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Darren A. Gray
25/11/2016 10:12:29 am
Nick, you highlight what is a surprisingly (or shockingly) common problem for authors, trainers and communicators of all kinds. We are prone to forget our work is not for us - it's for them.
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Nick Wright
25/11/2016 10:14:06 am
Hi Darren. I'm tempted to respond...'We are them'. ;) Yes, I think there's something important about noticing where our focus and attention lays when engaging authentically with people and groups.
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Shawn Naidu
25/11/2016 10:14:44 am
Great post Nick. Thanks for the reminder. Sometimes the most powerful life lessons, comes not from those in power but those who are not.
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Nick Wright
25/11/2016 10:15:38 am
Thanks Shawn. I agree - and that is why and where humility is so critical.
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Cedar Tegan
25/11/2016 10:47:27 am
Moving, a little bit of kindness goes a long way!
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Nick Wright
25/11/2016 10:48:19 am
Hi Cedar. Yes, and sometimes has deeper and wider impact than we may realise at the time...
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Josephine Tan
25/11/2016 11:42:16 am
The world needs more people like this. This would draw out the real human spirit. True leadership is really about being one of them.
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Nick Wright
25/11/2016 11:42:38 am
Well said, Josephine.
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Mr. Anil
25/11/2016 07:31:35 pm
Great job you have done my friend.
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Nick Wright
25/11/2016 07:32:26 pm
Thanks Mr. Anil. I was simply a witness to something, someone, beautiful.
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Annette Eve
25/11/2016 07:33:27 pm
Love your experience and the perspective you have shared with us as a result. I, like Sharon, am in the process of design and will use your experience to aid in my work.
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Nick Wright
25/11/2016 07:34:07 pm
Hi Annette and thanks for such an encouraging response!
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Andrew Davey
25/11/2016 10:50:35 pm
Nick, Lovely...just lovely. I lived in metro Manila for 11yrs working as a trainer in BPO. During that time I had many moments such as yours, and I will feel it ever so much more during the upcoming festive season as I used to dress up as Father Christmas at a work event, and all the staff would bring along their children to sit with me and have a pic from a photo booth. They'd bring along toiletries and milk formula for said pic with me and a handful of sweets. We then used to take a truck load of supplies to Concordia orphanage in Sta Ana. I am so very humbled by filipino generosity as the tears from many when I left testify. I stayed as long as I did because I did change my view to being one of them. Great article!
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Nick Wright
25/11/2016 10:52:11 pm
Thanks Andrew...and for sharing such moving and inspiring reflections from your own time in the Philippines too!
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Sekararajan Balagurunathan
26/11/2016 09:35:48 am
Gentle behaviour.
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Nick Wright
26/11/2016 09:36:29 am
Hi Sekararajan. Indeed.
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William C. Hensel
26/11/2016 02:30:21 pm
Wonderful, Nick; thank you for sharing this experience and this great joy.
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Nick Wright
26/11/2016 02:31:44 pm
Thanks William. Indeed...language is a special gift from God!
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Ruby Manalac
26/11/2016 06:37:36 pm
Emotional Intelligence ultimate goal is to bring out the beauty of our soul. That is why it is quite a daunting task but the rewards are great. Nice job. When you come back please let me know. I too am an EI advocate in the Philippines.
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Nick Wright
26/11/2016 06:41:45 pm
Hi Ruby and thanks for the note. It is good to hear of your passion and aspiration in the Philippines too.
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Mike Parkinson, MVP, APMP Fellow
27/11/2016 12:42:08 pm
How far should you identify with people you train? As far as possible. Learner empathy is CRITICAL when developing educational content that improves understanding, recollection and adoption. Great post! Thank you! :)
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Nick Wright
27/11/2016 12:42:42 pm
Thanks Mike. Well said. :)
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Gail Page
27/11/2016 12:44:41 pm
What a great story Nick and, by the sounds of it, a privilege to have been part of. :-)
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Nick Wright
27/11/2016 12:45:39 pm
Thanks Gail. Yes - it was certainly a privilege to witness this experience.
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Yathiraj Agarwal
27/11/2016 12:48:00 pm
Great story. The impact will last forever. Thank you Nick.
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Nick Wright
27/11/2016 12:48:52 pm
Thanks Yathiraj. Yes, the impact will certainly stay with me...
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Ian Jenner
28/11/2016 09:34:13 pm
Love in action... leaving a trace of grace.
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Nick Wright
28/11/2016 09:34:36 pm
Nicely put, Ian.
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Adriana Mendez
28/11/2016 09:36:13 pm
Great to hear! My experience from guides is they often tell you not to give to children but are quite willing to accept a generous tip themselves. Happy to have this young woman guide me next time I visit the Philippines.
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Nick Wright
28/11/2016 09:38:28 pm
Thanks Adriana. Yes, this young woman's focus was definitely on how to bless others around her even though, in one way, they were total strangers...although, in another deeper way - somehow they weren't.
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Shirley Ewang
28/11/2016 09:39:45 pm
Thanks for sharing! This article just made my morning ,I believe love is the greatest , the Bible says Love your neighbor as yourself.That lady's gesture is the true definition of love .Sounds like you had a wonderful experience.
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Nick Wright
28/11/2016 09:41:10 pm
Thanks Shirley. Yes - she showed love in the simplest yet most profound of ways to those around her. I found her incredibly humbling and inspiring...and a real follower of Jesus.
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Adwin Stokes
28/11/2016 09:41:48 pm
This is what it is all about,breaking social barriers-One at a time.
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Nick Wright
28/11/2016 09:44:06 pm
Hi Adwin. I have learned it is sometimes about breaking down the barriers within ourselves first. This young woman didn't perceive any barriers between herself and the people she showed kindness too. That is where I found 'I am them' so radical and powerful as a way of being in relationships and in the world.
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Nelson Edison Aguiflor
28/11/2016 09:45:03 pm
Nick, hope you can give ma a shout out when you come back to visit.
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Nick Wright
28/11/2016 09:45:39 pm
Thanks Nelson. I dream of returning soon!
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Gwen Cremona
28/11/2016 10:38:52 pm
Wow!"I am one of them"Amazing? No!.Just a feeling and an awareness deeply embedded in this simple ,caring human being. "There but for the Grace of God I could still have been one of them.Now my hand will always reach out to them and share who and what I am.If you have had the courage to suffer ,there will always be courage to love.What we experience is an integral part of our being which we should always be aware of when dealing with the vulnerable.
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Nick Wright
28/11/2016 10:40:43 pm
Hi Gwen. Perhaps it's about recognising our own vulnerability when we encounter vulnerability in others? Perhaps that's one route to empathy and action from an authentic place of 'I am them'?
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Gwen Cremona
1/12/2016 09:27:35 am
Thank you Nick.I couldn't agree more.
Nick Wright
1/12/2016 09:28:08 am
Thanks Gwen. :)
Hao Minh
29/11/2016 09:58:31 am
Great story! Thank you, Nick, for sharing it.
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Nick Wright
29/11/2016 09:59:38 am
Thanks Hao. You're welcome. :)
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Trevor Dutton
29/11/2016 10:00:31 am
We should all remember where we came from, great story.
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Nick Wright
29/11/2016 10:01:43 am
Thanks Trevor. Interestingly, this girl doesn't see herself as having 'come from' but, in a deep sense, as 'still is'...if that makes sense!
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Trevor Dutton
1/12/2016 12:32:23 pm
Yes it does make sense, I was born on the River Murray and haven't live there for 50 years but I still believe deep down that is where I belong. I do get back there as much as I can but life seems to get in the way, this girl proves life doesn't have to get in the way.
Nick Wright
1/12/2016 12:34:32 pm
Hi Trevor. Yes, these things, like rivers, can run very deep.
Janet Rigg
1/12/2016 09:28:56 am
I think it's just like the First Nations perspective - Gina'waadluuxan gudad kwagid (in the Haida language ) everything depends on everything else, everything is interconnected. A client's well-being is tied to our own well-being, which is tied to well-being of everything around us - other people, plants, animals, oceans. "I am them." is what she said, not that she's one of them. You are them too, even if it is a place distant from your life and culture. Everything is interconnected, everything depends on everything else. It's an understanding, not so much about boundaries or vulnerability, just about the way life works.
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Nick Wright
1/12/2016 09:31:18 am
Hi Janet. I think this is a deep area where we can observe culture...but - for me, as a Westerner - can only really partially grasp it. I can never really see the world, the experience, fully through this girl's eyes...no matter what Ianguage I or we may try to find to describe or explain it.
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Vishal Pandey
1/12/2016 10:00:23 am
Thanks for sharing Nick...
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Nick Wright
1/12/2016 10:00:53 am
Thank you, Vishal. Yes, I will do! :)
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John De Vera
1/12/2016 10:01:25 am
Very touching....
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Nick Wright
1/12/2016 10:01:55 am
Thanks John. Yes, this girl, this experience, touched me deeply.
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Derek Wilson
1/12/2016 10:02:40 am
Significant perspective: "I am them".
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Nick Wright
1/12/2016 10:03:23 am
Hi Derek. I find it both humbling and inspiring.
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Celestine Jeftha
3/12/2016 03:07:06 pm
What an amazing story and truly an experience that one would never be able to erase.
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Nick Wright
3/12/2016 03:08:40 pm
Thanks Celestine. I don't think I will ever forget it. It felt like witnessing a miracle.
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Janice Swierczek
4/12/2016 11:45:32 am
Your story reminds me of the Biblical quotation, "Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto me." Your guide showed complete and utter self-identification with who she is and where she came from. Powerful and profound message of selflessness and generosity. Loaves and fishes, also comes to mind.
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Nick Wright
4/12/2016 11:46:36 am
Hi Janice. She showed remarkable identification with and empathy for others too.
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Allen Negard
4/12/2016 11:47:12 am
Very well said Nick. Sometime we are so caught up in our own world we forget to look around us and take note of what we really should be paying attention to.
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Nick Wright
4/12/2016 11:48:03 am
Thanks Allen. That's certainly a risk I face in my life every day!
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Elizabeth Johnstone
4/12/2016 08:16:18 pm
Just wow! This is fantastic!! Thank you for sharing this beautiful story. Making an eternal difference, I'm sure.
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Nick Wright
4/12/2016 08:17:45 pm
Thank you, Elizabeth! :)
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Paul Dolson
8/12/2016 01:15:07 pm
Right on Nick!
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Nick Wright
8/12/2016 01:15:45 pm
Thanks Paul!
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Rod Lecetivo
9/12/2016 10:04:15 am
You got that right. It is said the we have to treat all the same. Who knows who will be there for us if we don't. Leadership is type of management that understands (read) action of member. It is well said; 'if there is a problem don't focus on it, think of an possible solutions to solve it.' What I see in the picture.
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Nick Wright
9/12/2016 10:08:41 am
Thanks Rod. Well said. Interestingly, I don't think this girl saw a problem. She simply saw people.
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Jana Lunsford
9/12/2016 10:09:16 am
What a great story and a reminder of how much of an impact we can all make on others if we just break down the walls!
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Nick Wright
9/12/2016 10:13:43 am
Many thanks, Jana. What struck me deeply about this girl's response is that I perceived distance, walls if you like, and was impressed by how well she crossed them. She really didn't see any walls..! It was as if she viewed and experienced herself, the other people, the encounter, through a completely different paradigm to my own.
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Jasleen Nanda
10/12/2016 11:38:39 am
So true Nick! When them becomes us or if we can associate in some form with them, definitely Paradigm shifts. It's then a seamless flow of skill transfer.
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Nick Wright
10/12/2016 11:39:25 am
Thanks Jasleen! I like the image of 'seamless flow'.
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Judy Palmer
11/12/2016 10:48:29 am
Resonates like a bell! So true.
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Nick Wright
11/12/2016 10:49:05 am
Thanks Judy. I'm encouraged to hear it!
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Evangeline Paquette
11/12/2016 06:51:14 pm
Thank you for sharing. I love this story because "I am them."
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Nick Wright
11/12/2016 06:52:13 pm
Thanks Evangeline. I'm pleased to hear it! :)
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Gary Reid
14/12/2016 09:06:22 am
Nick, I liked your story. I train all over the world and seem to make the "see less of ran safer" of knowledge. I also take one weekend if it's a two week gig and go out with my class. We have a blast. In class I teach with humor. My classes never cease to amaze me. For the most part they all learn the material...and we have fun. Mostly, people are great and want to learn, want to enjoy and have fun. Once again thx Nick, you make a great point.
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Nick Wright
14/12/2016 09:07:36 am
Thanks Gary. A great example of using humour to induce a state that is conducive to learning! :)
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Nicole Dünne
14/12/2016 09:08:25 am
That's indeed a great story Nick. But I would go a step further. Shouldn't we take it by heart for every audience we are refering to? I sometimes tend to forget it so many thanks for sharing.
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Nick Wright
14/12/2016 09:09:56 am
Hi Nicole. I don't think I have understood the point you are making...and I am keen to understand. Could you say a bit more, perhaps with an example to illustrate it? Thanks!
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Nick WrightI'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? Get in touch! Like what you read? Simply enter your email address below to receive regular blog updates!
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