‘We are always influencing, but not always in the way we hope.’ (Richard Marshall) We do well not to underestimate the power of role-modelling. Who has most influenced your thinking and practice? What are you role-modelling for people you work with? I share here a short account from my own life and work. I hope you will share your own stories too!
I remember that night vividly. I was alone at an event in St James’ Church in London, an event aimed at raising support for Central American refugees in the UK. I was, serendipitously, sitting next to the Nicaraguan ambassador. At the end of the evening, a group of refugees went forward for a photo shoot. They were being guided and directed by a vivacious woman wearing a nun’s habit who, with warm, wide smile and open arms, gestured me forward to join them. I felt humbled to be invited.
This was my first encounter with Sister Isabel. With five degrees and a PhD to her name, this truly remarkable Spanish woman, who worked as a psychotherapist with traumatised people, became a close friend and inspiration in my life. We met up regularly to chat, discuss, argue, laugh, support and encourage each other in our respective work. She reached out persistently beyond the strict boundaries of her formal role to touch people’s hearts and lives with love. Last night…she died.
So today I feel a strange emptiness. Wordless, struggling to find words to pay tribute to a life that left such a mark on my life. But I don’t want to be silent. Isabel would say all that matters is Jesus, yet I want to show a glimpse of her spirit too. When we met, I was working with a Central American political action organisation. She challenged its revolutionary spirit: ‘You are willing to fight for the people but are you willing to die for them?’ Disconcerted faces all round. She would be – literally.
True to this point, she travelled to Latin America to work with students who were suffering torture under a brutal dictatorship. It was a harrowing experience and she returned even more convinced: ‘My therapeutic training could only take me so far. What these people needed more than anything was love.’ Later, she had a stroke that left her partially-paralysed, yet she limped on with her work with determined patience and conviction. Her final prayer: ‘I’m ready to go now, to be with Jesus.’
What a woman. What an inspiration.
Sister Isabel Maria Montero
Nick is a coach, trainer and OD consultant.