 ‘The subtle art of not giving a f***.’ (Mark Manson) It was Jane’s first week at her social work training college. The course leader, Paul, walked in and said, ‘At the start of every lesson, I will walk into this room and say, ‘Good morning, class’, to which I want you to respond with, ‘F*** you, Paul!’ The students looked at each other, astonished. Paul invited them to practice it. Jane remembers how it felt strange, awkward and inappropriate. However, the tutor insisted. ‘Good morning, class.’ ‘F*** you, Paul!’ This routine went on week after week until the end of year when, finally, he explained his rationale: ‘You are social workers. Get f****** used to it.’ It was a novel approach to desensitisation, helping the students get ready for what they were likely to encounter in their work, albeit on the receiving rather than giving end. I felt intrigued when Jane shared this story this week. Paul wasn’t advocating that social workers should accept abuse from clients or become insensitive to needs. He was aiming to develop their resilience in the face of hard challenges they would almost certainly experience. It’s a form of preparation via exposure that’s very different to protecting people by wrapping in cotton wool.
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 ‘What have you set in motion? You are meant to be. Others you do not know depend on the fruit of your actions.’ (Christopher Chapman) I find that quite breathtaking. Like the butterfly effect, ‘the idea that small, seemingly trivial events may ultimately result in something with much larger consequences’ (Nathan Chandler), it suggests that our everyday actions – or our inactions – can have ripple effects that lay far beyond anything we ourselves could have imagined, known or understood: geographically and generationally. I like Christopher Chapman’s framing of this in his book, Doorways to Hope. He proposes that, in God’s mysterious eternal plan, we each play a significant role – whether we can see it or not. The question it points back to us is, ‘How are you willing to live your life?’ I want my being and my every doing to make a positive difference for the poor and most vulnerable people in the world. This makes my every decision an act of faith, imbued with a spiritual-existential dimension. It provides a sense of meaning, of purpose, that counters despair.  ‘No one really knows how to navigate their way through these times of change and challenge.’ (Daphna Horowitz) I co-facilitated a workshop for a County Council senior leadership team this week that is facing significant, complex change. The focus was on ‘Leadership in transition’. We could equally have framed it, leaders in transition. Every person in the room was wondering what the future will hold. Some were clearly anxious, some were philosophically phlegmatic and some were curious about what fresh opportunities may emerge. For many, their default concern was for their wider teams in their Local Authority and the important services the Council provides. We approached the event with a starting assumption that, in such circumstances, leaders do well to put on their own oxygen masks first before helping others. We advocated: viewing themselves and each other first and foremost as human beings; recognising that the changes will mean different things for different people; and, given that, paying careful attention to what each person – and the team – will need at each stage as they navigate their way through this. Bottom line, this is about grounding and stance: enabling responsiveness, resourcefulness and resilience.  ‘Two heads are better than one, not because either is infallible, but because they are unlikely to go wrong in the same direction.’ (C.S. Lewis) The experience of a paradigm shift can leave us feeling momentarily dizzy or disorientated. It can also feel exhilarating, as if something completely new and exciting has suddenly, unexpectedly, sprung into existence. This happened to me yesterday whilst leading and facilitating a diverse focus group of research experts from Canada, China, Russia and Scotland. Often as we were exploring an issue along one line of thought, as if out of nowhere one of the participants would offer an insight, a complete reframing, that would change everything. Every time this happened, I felt an adrenaline rush, a bright awakening, as if my eyes had been opened wide to something that had always been there but I’d never seen. This is one of the real beauties, the great benefits, of working with people from very different cultural backgrounds and lived experiences. Two heads are better than one if they’re different to one-another, don’t share the same assumptions and are willing to hear each other. It also opens up a ‘neither of these – something else entirely’ possibility when trapped in prisons of our own thinking.  ‘I will never leave you; I will never abandon you.’ (God: The Bible) The National Library of Medicine characterises a person who has no felt-need whatsoever for relationship as having a schizoid personality disorder. It’s a pretty extreme diagnosis yet does, nevertheless, point implicitly to an underlying belief: that a felt-need for others is an inherent dimension of the 'normal human condition'. It’s as if a need, a desire, for relationship is hard-wired into our personalities – a fundamental part of what it is to be a human being. It’s one reason why solitary confinement is used in some prisons as a form of deterrent and punishment. Enforced and prolonged isolation from others can be a painful experience. Perhaps a most terrifying extension of this idea lays in philosopher Peter Hick’s depiction of an existentialist’s stance and experience in the world: ‘Life is like a small child, lost and alone, in a deep, dark forest. And the child means nothing to the forest.’ Picture it. Feel it. And that reminds me of John Bowlby’s ground-breaking work on attachment theory, in particularly his observation that a young child needs a secure, loving relationship as a psychological anchor or base. An absence of or inconsistency in such a grounding relationship can leave a person floundering emotionally and relationally throughout life; perhaps grappling with anxiety, insecurity or depression. Against that backdrop, I was struck by the message in the poster-image above which I saw on a church wall in Glasgow this week. I do recognise that some people regard belief and trust in God as a psychological prop, a comforting delusion, a way for needy people to fulfil an unmet need. That may be true. Yet, in my mind, the idea that a relationship with God may fulfil such a need has no material bearing on the question of God’s existence nor, if he does exist, his ability to fulfil that need. What if, for instance, God purposefully designed human beings with this deep, intrinsic need, precisely so that we might set out in search of him? It feels like an important question.  ‘Research is seeing what everybody else has seen and thinking what nobody else has thought.’ (Albert Szent-Györgyi) Today’s focus group with participants from Colombia, England, Iran and Scotland was an intriguing experience. They are all employed as research professionals at a university and their expertise was evidenced as much by the questions they asked as the insights they shared. As facilitator, I spent much of the time listening to discern underlying themes as they spoke together in free-flow around issues and experiences that matter to them. I was aware of both tuning in to hear and understand, and tuning out to maintain an independent perspective. One of the participants reflected astutely from the outset that the order in which discussion questions had been framed mirrored symbolically something of their experience. The first question was focused on organisational issues, the second on cross-departmental and the third on individual. This represented, for them, a perceived hierarchy of importance in the culture of the university itself – with organisational agendas at the top of the pyramid and individual interests at the bottom. It was a profound insight that proved pivotal to the conversation. In debrief afterwards in a café with the client, we reflected on how best to present the outputs of the focus group to organisational decision-makers. If it’s true that leaders are focused first and foremost on the needs of the institution, whereas the researchers were primarily concerned with issues affecting individuals, we will aim to demonstrate how addressing the researchers’ recommendations would benefit the institution, whilst also hold up an observation of the perceived need to do so, as a mirror to raise awareness of implicit cultural values.  ‘If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.’ (Jesus Christ) Jasmin, a wild jungle girl in the past and university professor in the present, is a continual source of challenge and inspiration to me. Living in the Philippines, she brings a unique perspective to my life and work. This week, we were discussing receptivity and responsiveness to the needs of the poor. I was espousing the classic line that three different forms of response can be appropriate; depending on the needs of the person, community or situation. The first response is aid or relief, if the potential beneficiary lacks and is unable to access the resources they need or is temporarily debilitated by a crisis – e.g. an injury or a disaster. The second is development, where a potential beneficiary is supported to grow in their own resourcefulness, resilience and independence. The third is advocacy, where a beneficiary is damaged or diminished by actions of others and unable or unsafe to speak out. I argued that to provide aid or relief to those who are capable of improving their own situation but, for whatever reason, unwilling to do so, can create an unhealthy dependency. I went on to propose that, sometimes, we need to allow people or communities to fail, rather than step in to rescue them, if that’s what it takes for them to own their own situation and take their own actions to address it. It has a kind of tidy logic to it – at least in my own thinking. Jasmin responded by sharing examples from her own context, acknowledging as a starting point that everyone is different. Some people, when offered aid, will take it for granted. Others, when offered it will feel gratitude. Some may feel moved to mirror that action by serving others. Some people accept their poverty as simply how it is. They may feel content to stay at that level if it means they don’t need to make further effort, or if such effort seems futile. Some people will take ownership of their circumstances, aspire to improve their situation and do what they can to change it either in situ or, perhaps, by moving away for education or work if (a very big if) such opportunities are available and accessible to them. Others may prioritise staying in their own local community because it’s people and relationships there that matter most to them, even if that will entail living at a subsistence level for their entire lives. So, it’s a complex picture on the ground and we can’t assume that everyone has the same values, aspirations and opportunities as our own. It calls for listening and receptiveness. As a radical follower of Jesus, Jasmin lives a life of service for the poor. She doesn’t do this with an expectation of how they will or should respond. She does what she believes God is calling her to and leaves the response of each person and community in His and their hands.  ‘Taken out of context, I must seem so strange.’ (Ani Difranco) It’s an awareness of the context (in Gestalt psychology, the backdrop or ground) that often enables us to make sense of and navigate the specific issue (the focus or figure) in front of us. This principle came in useful today whilst facilitating a focus group of university research and teaching professionals in Scotland with cultural backgrounds in Bosnia and Herzegovina, Germany, Greece, Turkey and the UK. They knew their context well and were able to draw on insights from personal experience. This created the conditions for a rich conversation and diverse ideas to emerge. There were benefits, too, to my involvement as an independent facilitator. In that role, I was external to their system – intentionally out-of-context if you like – and that helped me to avoid making some of the same assumptions, and to ask questions from a fresh place or guide the group’s gaze towards unexplored places. I was detached and unaffected by the issues they wanted to discuss and that helped me to stay focused: to help them discern their wood from their trees. So, out-of-context within a context can be an advantage; as can contextual knowledge and understanding.  ‘We may allow ourselves a brief moment of rejoicing.’ (Winston Churchill) Victory in Europe Day 2025 marks the 80th anniversary of the end of World War 2 in Europe and the final defeat of the sociopathic Nazi regime and its European allies. I try to imagine how that must have felt, in particular for those on the frontlines and especially in the Soviet Union with its staggering estimated 27 million dead. Winston Churchill captured and expressed the mood in Britain brilliantly, even though as a temporary reprieve whilst the war in the East still raged on. A harsh, dark, almost 6-year winter of the most brutal world conflict imaginable was at last approaching its bitter end. There was a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel even though, at that time, few dared imagine how the war with Japan would finish, when and at what cost. The first nuclear weapons were yet to be dropped and a scared and weary world held its breath in dreadful anticipation. That was the time, the context, in which Churchill made that rousing speech. By providential coincidence, in a deep spiritual book I was reading this morning, Christopher Chapman speaks of transition from winter to spring in our own daily lives and experience. In such in-between times, ‘Winter is more than a memory; more cold weather lies ahead yet spring is here, not so much removing winter as rising within and through it. Hope rises this way, not dispelling our struggles but emerging within and through them.’ I like that. Discover hope, now.  ‘Freedom of expression - in particular, freedom of the press - guarantees popular participation in the decisions and actions of government, and popular participation is the essence of our democracy.’ (Corazon Aquino) World Press Freedom Day is an annual event led by the United Nations (UN) to celebrate the fundamental principles of press freedom, assess the state of press freedom throughout the world, defend the media from attacks on their independence, and pay tribute to journalists who have lost their lives in the line of duty. The theme of this year’s event is Freedom of Expression in the Face of the AI Revolution; stating that: ‘The rapid growth and use of Artificial Intelligence (AI) is changing journalism, the media, and press freedom in big ways. While the principles of free, independent, and pluralistic media remain crucial, AI's impact on information gathering, processing and dissemination is profound, presenting both innovative opportunities and serious challenges.’ (In case of interest, you can read the full UN concept paper here.) The UN report comments that: ‘Some actors use AI for mass surveillance of journalists and citizens, creating a chilling effect on freedom of expression.’ In doing so, it locates press freedom in the context of a wider debate on and threat to freedom of expression as a whole. Perhaps one of the most sinister threats in the UK of such is the increasingly widespread use of police Non-Crime Hate Incident recording. The arena as a whole has, however, changed markedly since the inception of World Press Freedom Day in 1993. We are experiencing a global shift away from liberal democratic values towards increasingly autocratic and authoritarian regimes. As well as AI, social media has democratised news broadcasting whilst also increased the polarising risks of echo chambers. Freedom is at risk, and this is only the start. |
Nick WrightI'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? Get in touch! 
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