I’ve been intrigued recently by working with skilful, experienced coaches who hold very different ideas about what coaching is and what it entails in practice. The main points of difference tend to lay in what the coach focuses on (or not) and what the coach does (or doesn’t do) with the client.
One coach focuses primarily on the coaching process and does not engage directly with the client's story. Here's a brief illustration:
*Client: I’m struggling with lack of confidence at work. It is really affecting my performance and stress levels. I avoid situations where I feel anxious and I need to find a better way to deal with this.
*Coach: OK, in relation to that, what do we need to do now to help you think through this?
*Client: Perhaps I could say a bit about where I experience this most and what happens when I do. It’s mostly when I am expected to present to authority figures, e.g. the leadership team at work. It keeps me awake the night before. That means I feel tired and even less able to cope when it comes to the meeting.
*Coach: So, where are we now and what do we need to do next to move this forward?
Another coach focuses on the client’s story and guides the client through it by engaging in it with the client. Here's an illustration:
*Client: I’m struggling with lack of confidence at work. It is really affecting my performance and stress levels. I avoid situations where I feel anxious and I need to find a better way to deal with this.
*Coach: So, where would you like to get to by the end of this conversation?
*Client: I’d like to come away with some ideas about how to feel less stressed, more confident, when I do presentations.
*Coach: OK. What kind of presentations do you find most stressful? Perhaps you could share an example of when you last felt like that and we can work on it together.
A third coach focuses on what is happening for the client, or between the coach and client, here and now. The client’s story acts as a backdrop:
*Client: I’m struggling with lack of confidence at work. It is really affecting my performance and stress levels. I avoid situations where I feel anxious and I need to find a better way to deal with this.
*Coach: OK…and what are you feeling here and now as you talk about this?
*Client: I can feel a tension in my stomach. It’s like a dull ache.
*Coach: If the tension, the ache, had a voice - what might it be saying to you? What will you say in return?
A final coach reframes the client's story, encouraging him or her to re-image the issue as a positive scenario:
*Client: I’m struggling with lack of confidence at work. It is really affecting my performance and stress levels. I avoid situations where I feel anxious and I need to find a better way to deal with this.
*Coach: So let's imagine you arriving at work, feeling very different - confident and relaxed, facing difficult situations directly and not feeling the need to avoid them. What would you be doing?
*Client: Well, I would walk into the room with head up, back straight, and look people in the eye.
*Coach: OK. And what would you be saying to people? How would you be presenting yourself? What would you be feeling as you do it?
What is your coaching approach? What principles guide your work and what does it look like in practice? I will be very interested to hear from you!
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