 ‘A good coach can change a game. A great coach can change a life.’ (John Wooden) This week’s participants at an Advanced Coaching training programme joined from Pakistan, Rwanda and the UK. One of the areas we looked at was the relationship between personal capabilities (a person’s resources, including their abilities and potential) and contextual conversion factors (critical influences on a person’s opportunities to use and fulfil them). We sometimes see indications of the latter if a person says, e.g. ‘I’m too busy to do coaching’; ‘My line manager makes all the decisions’; ‘People are promoted according to who they know, not what they know’; ‘There are no career paths here that match my talents and career goals.’ If these constraints are real, they are likely to pose significant challenges. One participant commented that a person may face conversion-related issues in their inner landscape too (see, for instance, Timothy Gallwey’s ‘The Inner Game’). If they are anxious, stressed or exhausted, it will have an inhibiting effect on their ability to perform well or reach their potential. Learning to navigate conditions for success can make all the difference.
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 ‘Coaching should be a process of inquiry, not a series of questions.’ (Marcia Reynolds) I’m often stimulated by the great questions, insights and ideas that people bring to coaching training workshops. This week’s advanced-level participants were in Burundi, Pakistan and the UK and mostly in leadership and management roles. Some of the questions they raised were:
The first question touches on culture and boundaries since where people draw the boundaries between ‘life’ and ‘work’ may be different in different cultural contexts. Many managers are willing to explore outside-of-work issues insofar as they impact on a person or team in-work. The second question touches on perception and capability; firstly, the degree to which the way in which a person construes a situation and themself in relation to it corresponds with ‘reality’ and ‘truth’; then how far critical environmental factors are constraining or enabling their progress. The third question touches on emotional and cultural intelligence; that is, how far the manager is aware of their own emotional triggers and how far they have developed themselves to recognise and address them. It’s useful to work through these things with a trusted supervisor. The final question touches on relationships and systems; that is, how the manager positions themself in relation to others in a team, and the others in relation to each other, and how they then choose to navigate the cultural and relational boundaries that emerge between them. Do you want to develop your coaching skills as a manager? Get in touch!  ‘Rather than give instructions as declarations, we can offer invitations that increase agency.’ (David A. Treleaven) Leading today’s workshop with 15 trauma-informed practice (TIP) professionals in the UK was an inspiring experience. Focusing on leading and influencing change, we looked at how to role model TIP principles when seeking to embed it in organisational practice. The 5 core TIP principles we focused on are: safety, choice, collaboration, empowerment and trust. In my experience, if we try to superimpose TIP onto staff, teams or users of services in a way that lacks congruence with these principles, it can lead to scepticism, cynicism or resistance. This may be a particular and inadvertent risk if we are fired up with the TIP vision and, in our enthusiasm, forget that others may be in a very different starting place to our own. A more effective approach can be to engage, where possible, in authentic dialogue with key stakeholders. For instance, ‘If we were to introduce TIP in this service… (a) what would that mean for you and, in light of that (b) what would you need?’ It invites participation, helps ensure others feel heard and understood and offers the potential to co-create optimal solutions. Do you need help with leading and influencing change? Get in touch!  ‘Carpe diem – Seize the day. Make your lives extraordinary.’ (Dead Poets Society) As I head off to Germany this weekend, my head is already filled with thoughts about a Future Leaders’ Programme, inspired by Jasmin, that I’ll be running for students in the Philippines next week alongside good friends: Eugene D’Cruz in Malaysia, Peirong Lin in Germany, Smita Singh in India and Mike Wilson in the UK. I’ll focus on Personal Leadership; Eugene on Gen Z Leadership; Peirong on Spiritual Leadership; Smita on EI Leadership and Mike on Visionary Leadership. It’s exciting to be part of this brand-new initiative that seeks to inspire graduating students to look inwards, upwards and outwards as they imagine and approach their futures. Who knows, after all, what part they could play in transforming Filipino society and beyond? Jasmin’s vision is to invest in real people, the poor. She prays in faith and hope, then looks to see who or what may emerge. I feel privileged to be involved and grateful to these friends for their unequivocal support.  ‘Not every grasp is fear; some are gentle acts of faith.’ (Iyanla Vanzant) Today, I ran a training workshop in Leading & Influencing Change for leaders and managers of organisations providing trauma-informed services for people dealing with emotional, social or mental health difficulties, learning disabilities, complex needs or domestic abuse. As always when working with such passionate and experienced professionals, I learned as much from the participants as I was able to share with them from my own insights and experiences. One service manager prompted deep reflections on the notion of ‘being held’ and of holding others. There’s a very great difference between the experience of, say, being held in a supportive way such as being hugged gently, when invited, to ease anxiety or offer safety; and of being held forcefully, uninvited, as when finding oneself restrained or constrained by another against one’s will. The former can feel like Bowlby’s secure base and the latter like a violation. Using ‘being held’ as a metaphor to explore relationships with team members at work, the manager shared how actions can be misunderstood. For instance, the manager who ‘holds’ a team member by overseeing their work (e.g. in the safeguarding arena) could be experienced as micro-managing, whereas her intention is to ‘support you in holding the risk.’ The relational skill is to hold with freedom of consent, clarity of intention and agreement on practice. Are you leading people through change and transition? Curious to discover how I can help you? Get in touch!  ‘They were all ordinary until they took the extraordinary steps with courage to leave extraordinary footprints.’ (Ernest Agyemang Yeboah) ‘Extraordinary people are ordinary people making extraordinary decisions.’ (Sharon Pearson) Every now and again we meet someone who’s truly making history. This week, I had the privilege of meeting Usha Vishwakarma, leader of Red Brigade Lucknow in India. It was hard to not feel awestruck. After all, for me it felt a bit like meeting Mahatma Gandhi or Mother Teresa. However, Usha’s humble persona and presence immediately put me at ease. I was grateful to activist professor Smita Singh for making the introduction and for interpreting during our brief conversation. Some years ago, I had a similar feeling when I had the privilege of meeting Bob Geldof. It was only for a few seconds after hearing him share his life story, but as I stood in front of him and shook his hand, I struggled to find words that carried a fitting sense of gravity. I have this feeling, too, every time I work with the amazing Jasmin in the Philippines. Usha, Smita, Bob, Jasmin – all ordinary people who are using their own agency, their own lives, to do something extraordinary. Keen to develop your own personal agency, your own life story? Get in touch!  ‘Let’s build belief. Belief in the ability to lead change. Because confidence doesn’t just come from applause. It comes from mastery, reflection and action.’ (Smita Singh) How to follow Usha Vikwakarma of the incredible grass roots Red Brigade Lucknow, then to be followed immediately by legend William J Rothwell? That was the humbling invitation and challenge this morning, to speak on National Women’s Day in India at a special conference for Women in Leadership. Taking deep breaths to overcome my nervousness and imposter syndrome, I had the great privilege to speak alongside inspiring women Anjali Rai and Nidhi Mulik. I focused my own presentation on 3 sections: 3 women leaders who have been a profound source of inspiration in my own life (Jasmin in the Philippines; Mother Teresa; Ruth a former NGO leader); 3 challenges I've witnessed for women in leadership (individuals vs systems; self-reinforcing systems; exclusion within systems); 3 possible strategies to move things forward (developing personal agency; addressing wider systems; building effective alliances). A co-contributor, Abhishek Singh, raised the issue of social roles and social conformity in Indian culture and society and beyond. Nidhi posed an insightful challenge in response: ‘The question is not whether women are ready for leadership; but whether others are ready for their leadership.’ Anjali reflected powerfully too, ‘Women don’t cry because they’re weak; they cry because they’re unheard.’ ‘We choose catalytic over ceremonial.’ (convenor, Smita Singh).  ‘Defining the problem is half of the solution.’ (Dilafkor Mirdjalilov) I flew back from Tbilisi yesterday after co-leading an Action Learning Associates workshop this week for the Centre for Disease Control and Prevention regional team. It was great to work with experts from Georgia, Uzbekistan and the United States. All demonstrated a keen desire to learn Action Learning facilitation to address the complex array of strategic and cultural opportunities and challenges they face. We started by introducing a classic approach to Action Learning facilitation on day 1, then a peer-consultancy variation on day 2, then a team or project-based approach on day 3. This provided a grounding in core Action Learning principles and techniques and a variety of ways to apply them. We integrated structured practice opportunities to enhance the team’s confidence and competence. One challenge in the midst of pressing contextual demands was to create sufficient space in small groups to clarify and reach agreement on which pivotal core issues to address before diving in to address them. A next phase, particularly in the project-based approach, was to identify key questions: ‘What are the questions that, if we were to answer them, would enable us to reach effective solutions?’ It demonstrated that, in such situations, slowing down to engage in critical reflection is, paradoxically, a useful way to speed up important decision-making. It can enable wisdom and growth and avoid the need to undo leadership decisions made in undue haste. I was impressed by the team’s willingness to try, test and apply Action Learning facilitation. I was also grateful for their warmth and enthusiasm throughout.  ‘If you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.’ (Erica Jong) I ran a vision and team development day yesterday for a group of inspiring Christian leaders. Their chosen venue was a football stadium (a new experience) that looked quite breathtaking for someone like me who doesn’t know the first thing about the sport. We grounded the day in a specific spiritual account, then used Appreciative Inquiry to discover, dream, design and decide in relation to it. One of the themes that emerged was, in a social and geopolitical context marked by increasing anxiety, how to avoid manifesting an anxious presence too. After all, the leaders in the group are working in the same contexts and subject to some of the same stresses and dynamics as people living in their wider communities. I was reminded of BANI – brittle, anxious, non-linear and incomprehensible. I glanced out of the window and noticed emblazoned above the stands, ‘Our Loving Devotion Guides our Livelong Dream’ and, beneath that, four short banners that repeated one simple message: 'Fear Nothing. Fear Nothing. Fear Nothing. Fear Nothing.' Love is an antidote to fear. One participant said: ‘What am I willing to do, that others may know they are loved by God?’ That's a courageous question.  ‘Charisma is the fragrance of soul. Seduce yourself first. Pursuing your passions makes you more interesting, and interesting people are enchanting.’ (Toba Beta, Kamand Kojouri & Guy Kawasaki) I’ve watched and listened to various UK political leaders during the current party conference season and I’ve been struck by marked differences in presence and style. Some have commented that, for instance, Nigel Farage has an inspiring and engaging charisma whereas Keir Starmer talks down to people like a robotic technocrat. That said, both party leaders attract and repel different constituencies of the wider public – which makes me wonder if charisma, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. I remember working with an international non-governmental organisation (INGO) that had a very inspiring CEO. At that time, the same organisation was working hard to identify leadership competencies that could be developed or replicated globally. I really struggled with that project. There was something intrinsic to the CEO as a unique individual that had such a compelling influence and impact. Yes, I could well try to emulate some of his skills and techniques – but I still wouldn’t be him. A friend in Germany illustrated a similar principle yesterday by holding up a glass vase. He could drop it on the floor so that it would smash into lots of pieces, yet there’s something about the object as a whole that is more than the sum of those broken shards. Charisma, like the beauty of the vase, is something that can feel mysterious, beyond rational or technical analysis, both in intrinsic quality and its effects on others. In biblical language, it’s a gift from the Spirit – but it can also be a derailer. |
Nick WrightI'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? Get in touch! 
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