Not-knowing

25/1/2016

‘I don’t know’ is a leadership act that invites others in. (Karakusevic)

It all depends on the voice. I can say, ‘I don’t know’ with heavy heart and sloped shoulders, a voice of resignation, a paralysed feeling. A sense of no way forward. This may be a voice that I speak to myself, to others, when I encounter unfamiliar territory, new experiences, fresh challenges. It can leave me feeling stuck, lost, hopeless. I’ve heard this voice whisper in my own head from time to time and I’ve felt its debilitating effects.

I’m learning that I can use a different voice too: ‘I don’t know - but I’m really curious to find out. Let’s start something and see what happens!’ This voice comes from a free place, a spirit of playful inquiry, a willingness to experiment. It’s a voice that releases me, invites others to contribute, draws people in. It’s an approach to co-creative leadership that liberates and empowers. It’s at the heart of coaching: the power of not-knowing to release knowing in others.

This approach to living and leading can build optimism and agility in organisations where things are ambiguous and uncertain. No surprise, therefore, to see 2 new books in 2015: ‘Not knowing’ (D’Souza & Renner) and ‘Nonsense – The Power of Not Knowing’ (Holmes). Not-knowing frees us from the pressure to know and allows us to explore new ideas, new horizons, new paradigms. It enables us to embrace the future with open minds and hearts.

So I’m noticing resonances between current thinking, my Christian spirituality (e.g. ‘Cloud of Unknowing’) and what I’m discovering through experimental fields (e.g. Gestalt). And I’m very curious to hear from others who live, work and play in this not-knowing space too. How do you create and sustain a not-knowing mindset? How have you applied it to your leadership or coaching practice? What benefits of not-knowing have you found to be true?

86 Comments

Terrence H Seamon

25/1/2016 01:44:48 pm

A couple years ago in an OD discussion group, several of us agreed that dwelling in ambiguity --the 'not-knowing' space-- is central to our practice. It calls for listening, receptivity, and humility. This is probably true of other fields as well such as ministry.

Nick Wright

25/1/2016 06:58:57 pm

Hi Terrence. I agree that listening, receptivity and humility are important qualities in OD practice. It looks and feels quite different to the expert who comes in, makes a diagnosis and implements a solution. I would love to hear more about any case examples you have that demonstrate your not-knowing in practice. All the best. Nick

Lisa McCarthy MBPsS

25/1/2016 01:45:30 pm

Hi Nick - thanks for this. I think it is a very worthy discussion. Yes, "not knowing" is a very powerful place to be - instead of falling back on old patterns, we invite new experiences, new learning, new opportunities. Ultimately, it is the place of Creativity. One aspect I focus on in my coaching practice is developing the ability to be in ambiguity. This is a difficult energy to be with, but like with everything, the more we practice it, the easier it becomes. Trusting the process and waiting for answers to emerge is a great leadership skill because it requires us to draw knowledge from multiple sources (including our dreams!). Learning to operate in the world of archetypes, metaphor and symbolism often takes us to superior forms of problem-solving.

Nick Wright

25/1/2016 07:04:35 pm

Hi Lisa and thanks for such stimulating comments. I too am learning to live with ambiguity in coaching, trying not to drive the agenda towards clarity and solutions that sometimes fulfil my needs for control or success more than the needs of the client. I like the idea of drawing knowledge from multiple sources. Do you have any case examples of operating 'in the world of archetypes, metaphor and symbolism' that you would be willing to share? I'd love to hear more. With best wishes. Nick

Patrick Fuss

26/1/2016 09:47:56 am

I like what you are saying here. Yes not knowing is great leadership. as it allows others to find out. Leaders should not have all the solutions but be a catalyst and invoke solutions. the living and leading needs to be congruent without a doubt and if it down not resonate it really does not mean anything. I live, work and play and I don't know it all. What a wonderful space to be. Yes, i bring this into my coaching praxis all the time. the impact is exquisite as it provokes my clients to find their own voice, truths and resonance. If you can't live it, play it and work it. it really is meaningless. Maybe a new horizon to ethics and integrity as well.

Nick Wright

26/1/2016 09:58:52 am

Hi Patrick. I love the picture of being, leadership and coaching praxis that you painted here. It resonates well with another recent book I started looking at last week called Co-Active Leadership (Kimsey-House) and, in a similar vein, Multipliers (Wiseman & McKeown). I would be very interested to hear any case examples from your experience and also to hear more about your thoughts on ethical implications. All the best. Nick

Pam Billinge

26/1/2016 03:52:06 pm

Great article Nick thank you. When we can be excited, as well as curious, by "not-knowing" then life can really start to unfold in a different way for us. It is something I work with a lot, both for myself as a coach and facilitator and for my clients to support them to engage with change and uncertainty in a different way. Not knowing is fundamentally part of our human condition, we just kid ourselves that we do know. Far too often!

Nick Wright

26/1/2016 03:58:22 pm

Thanks for your encouraging feedback, Pam. Yes, I believe that sometimes our desire to know is associated with a desire to control or to manage anxiety. Modelling an ability to not-know and to approach that experience positively can enable clients to do the same. There are, of course, situations where knowing is very important but recognising its limitations and potential blinding effects can be both valuable and releasing. With best wishes. Nick

Cath Norris MA, BA, Dip Couns

26/1/2016 08:09:17 pm

Thanks for another great post Nick. Being able to embrace 'not knowing' emerged for me as an organic response to developing a compassionate and strong inner witness. Commitment to witnessing 'what is' with heart supported me to open to whatever needed to emerge. Through holding a compassionate, heart centred space for others to be witnessed, I've been blessed to see incredible responses to what at times appeared as insurmountable challenges.

Nick Wright

26/1/2016 08:13:08 pm

Many thanks, Cath. I love the notion of 'holding a compassionate, heart-centred space for others'. I would be very interested to hear of any examples of 'incredible responses to what at times appeared as insurmountable challenges': what the issues were, how you approached them, what happened as a result. All the best. Nick

Cath Norris MA, BA, Dip Couns

26/1/2016 08:37:40 pm

In one to one work it's involved just staying with the emergent process and trusting in the value of witnessing even when I felt an urgent need to distract someone from wanting to harm themselves or others. Staying open to what needed to emerge strengthened the person's connection with their self determinism and they chose successfully to stop self harming. The person who wanted to take a life was free to explore their feelings and my sense was that they become their own compassionate witness which transformed their rage.

Nick Wright

26/1/2016 08:39:26 pm

Woah, Cath, your work sounds pretty intense! I'm intrigued...can you say a bit more about what 'witnessing' means to you and looks like in your practice? Many thanks for sharing. Nick

Cath Norris MA, BA, Dip Couns

27/1/2016 09:51:05 am

Witnessing involves being present in myself and then showing up to be available for someone else. It's dedicating my awareness and my senses to sharing in someone else's journey. I sense in, pay attention, listen, reflect back, check out and do my utmost to ensure that folks feel heard, understood and acknowledged in what they are sharing, how they are sharing and what that appears to mean to them.

Nick Wright

27/1/2016 09:54:36 am

Thanks Cath. I really like that idea of 'dedicating my awareness...to share in someone else's journey'. You may relate to this blog and some of the comments underneath it? http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/the-power-of-presence All the best. Nick

Cath Norris MA, BA, Dip Couns

27/1/2016 10:45:40 am

What a lovely blog Nick. Daring to show up and be consciously present rather than hiding behind a role can take huge courage and commitment, yet I can't imagine anything more valuable, inspiring and moving. I'm reminded of someone I coached who really wanted to be able to show up in their work as a trainer. It really was a journey of learning to love themselves and I will always treasure the memory of them turning up for a session and ecstatically proclaiming "I showed up and they loved me!"

Nick Wright

27/1/2016 10:47:31 am

Thanks Cath. That reminds me: when I first started doing training and facilitation, I focused primarily on technique. Now I focus primarily on presence, about arriving and really being there...with the group...and that makes all the difference. All the best. Nick

Kaleel Sakakeeny

27/1/2016 09:47:26 am

Great. I misread the title to read. "What part does "play" play in your coaching practice." What do ya know.

Cath, good to hear your voice again. Nick, good to meet you :)

Nick Wright

27/1/2016 09:55:49 am

Thanks Kaleel. Good to meet you too!

Peter Oliver

27/1/2016 09:57:39 am

I think that "not knowing" is simply the truth. We actually know very little. Whenever I preach, the first slide in my presentation is always "I could be wrong". It is an acknowledgement of my humanity, my sinful nature and my capacity to make mistakes and get things wrong. All humans are fallible, sinful and get things wrong. And none of us actually know very much at all.

Nick Wright

27/1/2016 11:09:31 am

Hi Peter and thanks for the note. I can certainly relate to your perspective and approach. It takes courage and humility to take a positive stance whilst also recognising our own fallibility. It reminds me of Mark Vernon's perspective on agnosticism in his book, 'After Atheism'. He frames his own agnosticism as something like faith that believes yet recognises that understanding is always limited. It also reminded me of Richard Bach's book 'Illusions' - a kind of philosophical parable at the end of which he states, simply: 'Everything in this book could be wrong'. All the best. Nick

Laurie Fitzpatrick

27/1/2016 05:18:18 pm

I think you create this mindset by continually trying to remind yourself - as a coach or a leader - that you don't have to solve problems for your clients or employees. I think it requires admitting that we might not "know" more often than we think, or that others have valid answers and can grow more if we step back and ask a question instead of giving an answer. Mindfulness practices, such as yoga and meditation, help give us the space to see without "knowing," to experience "beginner's mind," and to practice taking more time to react and respond to whatever comes our way. As my Gestalt teacher and GISC coaching co-director says, "You don't have to be right, but you do have to be curious!" Ask the next question or a make an observation, and see how it resonates with your client or employee. One benefit of not-knowing can be an immense sense of freedom and relief!

Nick Wright

27/1/2016 05:23:40 pm

Hi Laurie and thanks for your interesting thoughts. I really like that expression: 'You don't have to be right but you do have to be curious!' Good advice. :) Yes, I agree that not-knowing, or perhaps releasing ourselves from the pressure and expectation to know, can be an immense relief. I guess a challenge emerges when the client or organisation expects us to know, in which case contracting around roles, expectations etc. is very important to see and agree how and where value can be added. With best wishes. Nick

Laurence d'Andlau link

27/1/2016 08:16:51 pm

I am a french coach & economist, regular reader of your blog, as I often feel close to what you write: your intentions, hopes and dreams seem to fit with mine.
This time, I was struck by the similarities between your message and the « narrative approach » which I am familiar of and work with. This approach comes from Australia and New Zealand and spread around the world. For instance the posture of ignorance, not-knowing, allows us to be both decentered and influent with regards to our clients, to sincerely not know what is good for them nor what they should do, they are the experts of their lives. We can thus be curious, ask them questions, listen to the stories they tell us; some of which hinder them, impede them to achieve what they want (these problem stories can be dominant, often told) and others are incentive, make them feel good and go forward (we "thicken" those, ask them to give us a rich description). From this starting point, they gradually get to know for sure what is most important to them, and act consequently.
Many more things could be said.
Nick, do you know this approach, used in teams, groups and with individuals ?

Nick Wright

28/1/2016 11:42:12 am

Hi Laurence and thank you for such kind and affirming feedback. I really like what you describe, what flows from a stance of ignorance, of not-knowing. It reminds me of the Socratic method. I was struck by your emphasis on enabling a person gradually, 'to get to know for sure what is most important to them'. This reminds me of insights, ideas and approaches in existential coaching, e.g. http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/existential-coaching. I have heard of the narrative approach. Two questions: do you have a case example you could share? Could you recommend any reading/resources in this area? With many thanks again. Nick

Laurence d'Andlau link

29/1/2016 02:15:06 pm

Thank you, Nick, for your answer. Yes maybe I was too much affirmative about people finding what is most important to them with the narrative approach.It's my experience. What do they do with it afterwards is the question.
I suggest you go and visit the blog 'errances narratives' which is mostly in french. But you will find there many texts in english concerning the narrative approach.
We can always have a talk about it if you wish. Laurence

Nick Wright

30/1/2016 08:59:29 pm

Many thanks, Laurence. After reading your comments, I found the Centre for Narrative Coaching & Design website: http://www.narrativecoaching.com/. It definitely looks interesting so I will look into it further. With thanks again for offering your insights and support. Nick

Dave Smith

28/1/2016 11:23:16 am

I make it clear I don't have all the answers - that there is fun to be had in researching that question, or open it up to others to provide an answer.

Sometimes I play dim by shrugging and stating "no idea - how could I find out?" that prompts them to research and report the results to others, but I only pull this trick well into the course so it looks like I'm deliberately cutting apron strings, rather than just being lazy from the onset - but when I guide people into the right direction they suspect I actually know the answer but won't give it up freely.

Sometimes, this is true....

Nick Wright

28/1/2016 11:27:21 am

Hi Dave and thanks for the note. I like your provocative, playful style. :) I notice similar tensions in training/facilitation that emerge in mentoring/coaching too - when to share knowledge that could benefit the client or group and when to hold back in order to enable the client to make their own discoveries. In my experience, it comes down to intention, contracting and judgement calls about what, in that moment, is in the best interests of the client. All the best. Nick

Dave Smith

28/1/2016 11:14:40 pm

Oh, it's definitely a balancing act. As seasoned trainers will ascertain: it's not about providing the right answers, it's about asking the right questions - have people think and discover things for themselves and they begin to "learn how to learn".

It's also about having the confidence of being able to focus on the learner's gains and not trying to show how knowledgeable you (as a trainer) are. Experience has taught me that I don't have all the answers - and also taught me that it's not important to have them, either: focus should be on the student.

Katy Steinkamp

28/1/2016 11:28:55 am

Hi Nick,
Not-knowing is reality. The delusion is that we know. I fall into that space of the delusion sometimes. I freeze in fear of what will happen IF…the stock market crashes…I lose my clients…I become homeless, etc. And so far, my fear ends eventually when I remember I don’t have to know. I just have to take the next step and the miracle is that next step leads me to trust myself to handle whatever the next moment brings.
Thanks for reminding me.
Katy

Nick Wright

28/1/2016 11:32:22 am

Hi Katy. Thanks for expressing that so beautifully. I love your inspiring honesty and the realisation that, 'the miracle is that next step leads me to trust myself to handle whatever the next moment brings.' With best wishes. Nick

Victor Eduardo Campos Choto

28/1/2016 11:50:58 am

¡Muy buena la publicación! Bendiciones.

Nick Wright

28/1/2016 11:51:47 am

¡Gracias, Victor!

Carol Brockmon

28/1/2016 03:18:55 pm

Not knowing is a core attitude, not a strategy. Being fully grounded in your awareness that you don't know, and unembarrassed about that, but curious, interested and open, leaves you inviting humility and interest by modelling that stance.

Nick Wright

28/1/2016 03:20:08 pm

Nicely put, Carol. :) All the best. Nick

Susan Ksiezopolski

30/1/2016 08:50:57 pm

I read a great book on the subject http://www.notknowingbook.com. Check it out.

nick.wright@abthorpe.net

30/1/2016 08:54:03 pm

Yes, thanks Sarah. That's the same book that I refer to in the blog. Well worth a read. I've just bought another book that looks interesting too: 'Being Wrong' (Schultz, 2010). All the best. Nick

Laurence link

31/1/2016 10:03:46 am

Hi Nick, thank you for letting me discover a californian outlook on narrative coaching. It does seem very interesting and complementary to our Australian/French approach.
Do you speak or read french ? If so, please take a look to the website www.lafabrique narrative.org and its blog 'errances narratives'.
I also have discovered recently 'Frédéric Laloux', belgian, who wrote in english a book called 'Reinventing organizations'. I attended his last conference on the subject, which was most interesting; and couldn't help writing an article (in french!) on it. Mostly because of his not-kowing attitude.
Thanks for this rich exchange. Laurence

Nick Wright

31/1/2016 12:42:44 pm

Hi Laurence. The title, 'Reinventing Organisations' sounds very familiar. I would love to see a copy of your article if you would be happy to send it to me: info@nick-wright.com. Unfortunately, I only know around 100 words in French but I could try using Google translate and see what happens! With thanks again. Nick

Caroline Paltin

31/1/2016 12:39:47 pm

Curiosity and Fascination guide the process and provide inroads to awareness of contact experiences. I do not approach Gestalt group facilitation from the perspective that there are "problems to solve." The Gestalt perspective that we are here to gain awareness and experience each other and our exploration of contact together being the goal, presupposes that we are not problem solvers for our clients. Nor do I place myself in the position of presuming to know the answers to another's problems or the solutions. As Beisser aptly framed it: "change occurs when one becomes what he is, not when he tries to become what he is not. Change does not take place through a coercive attempt by the individual or by another person to change him, but it does take place if one takes the time and effort to be what he is — to be fully invested in his current positions. By rejecting the role of change agent, we make meaningful and orderly change possible” And so I sit in fascination and curiosity.

Nick Wright

31/1/2016 12:49:21 pm

Hi Caroline and thanks for your stimulating comments. I find the whole question of what it means to 'facilitate' in Gestalt fascinating. I like your quotation by Beisser. It's a good explanation of Gestalt's paradoxical theory of change. I have to confess that I struggle to understand it intellectually and yet, when I'm in the room with a client or group, I'm continually amazed to see and experience what emerges through simply being-there-together. Do you have any examples of work with groups that would illustrate this approach? With best wishes. Nick

Michael Stamatiou

31/1/2016 12:51:05 pm

Hello there Dave and Nick, It is very challenging to deal with this not-knowing. I feel and experienced that at the root of the matter lies the dilemma of setting your students free to roam or defining the playground in which they can freely experiment with you so-called not knowing. So, is it a game we play or is it really understanding that your answer with your grasp and knowledge does not help your trainees/students at all. In mediation it was part of my mindset and I internalized it, but now working for several years as a consultant and trainer I find it hard to keep this attitude. This while i fully understand the need for not knowing. Do you recognize this dilemma? (and excuses for my English it is not always as precise as i want it to be)

Nick Wright

31/1/2016 01:03:32 pm

Thank you Michael for raising such interesting and stimulating points - and for expressing them so well in English! Your comments raise a number of questions for me when working with a client or group, for example:

What are we here to do?
What does this situation (or this learning goal) call for from us?
What are we and others ready, willing and able to take responsibility for?
What roles have I and others contracted to play in this situation?
How shall we do this?
How will I manage my own need to know and others' expectations of me to know?

I would be very interested to hear any insights or ideas that these questions pose for you. I have a good friend who is an experienced mediator and she poses similar questions to people who move between mediation and, say, human resources-related roles.

With thanks again and best wishes. Nick

Michael Stamatiou

1/2/2016 10:08:10 am

Hello Nick thanks for the comment and the horrible questions you pose! It is with these items i wrestle and it sometimes oppresses me: why not just teach instead of provoking and challenging their thoughts, concepts and ideas. In training I try to create a process of flood and ebb. We start with flooding the shore with all what we bring together in events, forecasts, ideas etcetera and when it is done (we) the sea retreats and lo behold in the sand there lie shells of knowledge and insight. It is the shells i seek. I really don't know which shells there are to be harvested and that brings genuine uncertainity during the process of bringing together. Will the group find what it truly is wanting for....
I find it difficult because many of my clients are not used to this process of gathering, exploring and harvesting. They seem to want clear goals, defined subjects in training and all the while i know that they know not yet what they really want to learn. Yours sincerely Michael

Nick Wright

1/2/2016 10:14:23 am

Hi Michael. Thanks for the note and for your honest reflections! I love the vividness of the imagery you shared: 'When it is done (we) the sea retreats and lo behold in the sand there lie shells of knowledge and insight. It is the shells i seek. I really don't know which shells there are to be harvested and that brings genuine uncertainty during the process of bringing together.' Very evocative.

It sounds like an issue is something about how to trust and enable a group to trust that what it needs will emerge, somehow, in the interaction together. It's as if the training goals and materials can act as a framework or stimulus for learning but that, if we stick to them and focus on them too rigidly, we miss the opportunity for deeper or unexpected insights to emerge. Lots of food for though! Thank you again for sharing so openly and helpfully. All the best. Nick

Oimar Mecherri

1/2/2016 08:55:39 pm

I like your approach to this theme. Unfortunately, many people are too full of their "ego" and never admit to not knowing. Yet they should gain to question themselves and appeal to others, especially young researchers, to better move forward. But it is not given to everyone to be humble. They say in French: "Researchers who seek, are easily found (numerous), but researchers who find, we would seek for them for a long time!"
The physicist De Broglie has already spoken of utilitarianism about research to argue with those who are just of academic research. I say that unpretentiously on my part, I approve.
But for that goal, "there is far from the Gap" because our students in chemistry do not like wether we answer them "I do not know" when we do not know the exact answer to their question.
It is often useless to explain that this "I don't know" attitude is preferable to that of answering them "next to the plate"; but there is nothing to do!
I'm happy to be the first to tackle this delicate subject ...
because I often find myself among the latter.

In French, please (if nobody disagrees, as happened in other discussions)!
J'aime beaucoup votre façon d'aborder cette thématique. Malheureusement, beaucoup de gens sont trop imbus de leur "ego" et n'admettent jamais ne pas savoir. Pourtant, ils gagneraient à se questionner et faire appel aux autres, surtout aux jeunes chercheurs, pour mieux avancer. Mais ce n'est pas donné à tout le monde de faire preuve d'humilité. On dit en français: "Les chercheurs qui cherchent, on en trouve; mais les chercheurs qui trouvent, on en cherche"!
Le physicien De Broglie a déjà parlé de l'utilitarisme à propos de la recherche, pour rétorquer à ceux qui ne font que de la recherche académique. Sans prétention de ma part, je l'approuve. Mais pour cela, "il y a loin de la coupe aux lèvres" car nos étudiants en chimie n'aiment pas qu'on leur réponde "je ne sais pas" quand nous ne connaissons pas la réponse excate à leur question. On a beau leur expliquer que cette attitude est préférable à celle de leur répondre "à côté de la plaque"; rien à faire!
Je suis content d'être le premier à aborder ce sujet délicat... car je me retrouve souvent parmi les derniers.

Nick Wright

1/2/2016 09:07:45 pm

Hi Oimar and thanks for your honest reflections. I think it's true that sometimes people want to appear to know for ego reasons. I think it's also true that our education systems have traditionally taught and valued knowing over not-knowing and that often our organisations look for that same quality. How refreshing it would be to appoint someone to a role, not only for what they know but because of their curious spirit...a positive not-knowing.

There is, of course, value to knowing in many situations (e.g. if I fly by plane, I really hope the pilot knows how to fly it!) but if we only rely on what we know, we can become blinkered, dogmatic and fixed, especially in situations that are ambiguous and uncertain and evoke anxiety. Thanks too for posting your comments in French so that others are able to read and contribute. With best wishes. Nick

Oimar Mecherri

1/2/2016 09:38:02 pm

I am very pleasantly surprised to receive such a scientific and wise answer. When we believe to know everything, we can not move forward. The French call this "having infused knowledge". And the singer-actor Jean Gabin said: "At the end of my life, Yes, I know ... I know (that) I know nothing." I'm not French, just a French speaker (Algerian living in Algeria) and a supposedly professor (freshly) retiree.

Je suis très agréablement surpris de recevoir une réponse aussi scientifique et très avisée. Quand on croit tout savoir, on ne peut plus avancer. Les français appellent cela "avoir la science infuse". Et le chanteur-acteur Jean Gabin disait: "A la fin de ma vie, Oui, je sais... je sais que je ne sais rien". Je ne suis pas français, juste un francophone (algérien) et soi-disant professeur (fraîchement) retraité.

Nick Wright

1/2/2016 09:40:42 pm

Thank you for sharing your wisdom too, Oimar. We are all learning. Best wishes to you from a cold, wet and windy UK! Nick

Filao Wilson

1/2/2016 09:32:01 pm

In a former life, I used to teach young adults and I learnt that there were 3 responses to being asked a question that I didn't know the answer to. The first possible response was 'I don't know'. The second possibility was 'I don't know but I know how/where to find out' and the third possible response was 'I don't know, but if you like, I know how to help you find out'. The students who were keenest to learn and develop would always be energised by the 3rd response so it became my favourite response. Without doubt there are parallels here with the world of coaching and mentoring

Nick Wright

1/2/2016 09:35:57 pm

Hi Filao and thanks for your comments. What great questions to pose in response to the young adults' questions. Interesting to hear how they tapped into and released a different energy. You made me wonder. Perhaps a 4th response could be something like, 'I don't know, and I'm wondering how we might find a way to find out together.' What do you think? All the best. Nick

Ty Francis PhD

3/2/2016 01:42:41 pm

Your delightful question, what part not-knowing plays in our practice, brings up a few things for me, Nick... firstly, the need to ground our practice in reality - the myth that leaders can know everything is utterly ludicrous in a VUCA world (volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity) and I think we are better to point leaders towards relationships as the medium for navigating VUCA. Gestalt is fundamentally relational and therefore relevant, here. Secondly, organisational culture preferences cognitive knowing, but as Gestaltists we can question this and broaden our clients' perceptual orientation by grounding our practice in embodied knowing - the knowing of the heart and belly. I try to use figure/ground to enable my clients to connect with pre-verbal, gut-stirrings without negating 'headier' intelligence. Finally, I love the way the French and German languages have a positive framing for 'not-knowing' - 'disapprendre' and 'nichtwissen' have positive meanings for "liminal space" a Sally Denham-Vaughan describes it...

Nick Wright

3/2/2016 02:02:17 pm

Hi Ty and thanks for sharing such stimulating reflections. What occurred to me in reading your comments about VUCA and Gestalt is a preoccupation in Western culture with 'scientific' forms of knowing; that is, 'objective' knowledge that can be uncovered, discovered and tested. Many situations we face today are too complex, too unpredictable, to apply this type of thinking to decision-making.

Take, for instance, the current debate in the UK about whether or not to leave the EU. Different parties on different sides of the debate try to produce convincing evidence that supports their position.

The reality, if there is a single, unified reality to be known in this respect, is that we simply don't know. Whatever stance the UK takes will not only uncover what reality lies ahead but also create and shape its own reality. I'm touching on the realms of social construction here. We can't analyse data and calculate our way into this kind of decision. It comes down to beliefs, values, stances, choices and intuitions as much as any data or rational argument.

Thanks for the French and German references too. It's one of the benefits of moving between languages and cultures to test and challenge our own assumptions and constructs. All the best. Nick

Ty Francis PhD

3/2/2016 07:11:18 pm

I completely agree with you, Nick... in a way, from the kind of 'not knowing' we are referring to, Life is a creative experiment. Where social constructivism meets Field Theory, perhaps...

Rachelle Stubby

3/2/2016 07:20:16 pm

Confidence in yourself and being okay to not get it right on the first try are big success components in 'not knowing', but being willing to learn. It's all about an individual's mindset toward ability and desire to learn new things.

Nick Wright

3/2/2016 07:23:55 pm

Hi Rachelle and thanks for the note. Yes, I think a person's desire and willingness to learn are very important factors, as is a willingness and ability to be OK with not-knowing - when that is appropriate. I like Ana Karakusevic's comment because it draws attention to how empowering our not-knowing can be for others, drawing in and valuing others' contributions too. All the best. Nick

Barry Morris

4/2/2016 11:06:32 am

Really like this post Nick. I did write something in response but it's too big. This is probably the post I have most enjoyed on my LinkedIn forum so far. Excellent insights and follow on comments from everyone else too.

Barry Morris

4/2/2016 11:11:51 am

Not knowing is the new knowing? 'We come to love learning by releasing our attachment to knowing. We release our attachment to knowing by by facing and releasing our fears about not knowing.'

As a tutor one of your greatest fears, I have found, is thinking you don’t know enough about what you are teaching. This is a debilitating trait and one that only leads to negative self-reflection. I always try and remind myself that once no one knew anything and now look where we are today.

Would it be fair to say, before the big bang no one knew anything! Is knowledge like beauty in that it only lays deep within the beholder? To really know and understand something is to see it without bias or preconception. An epistemological view would be to know thyself and in doing so we can empathise with the world around us.

Looking at it from a universal scale really puts you in your place. As a species we know relatively very little, which oddly enough is quite comforting. The reason being is that knowledge and understanding are elusive and it’s our duty to find them. Let’s face it who doesn’t like a good chase? Watch the joy on children’s faces as they play chase. This is the same for us as adults when we realise that we now understand something, the penny dropping feeling of clarity and elation.

Even the wisest of men where once as clueless as a baby! Knowledge is a life long journey or so the saying goes. Would you enjoy a film as much if you already knew the plot, ending and subtext right from the word GO?

Be happy in the state of not knowing because this means that knowledge, just like winter, is coming. It is easy to forget ourselves in today’s economic climate. Everyone seems so focused on their own end game and achievements. However, if you are not enjoying the journey then you will never reach that destination. Gamblers will tell you it’s not the jackpot they are chasing; it’s the thrill of the nearly winning. Equally wealth itself is never enough.

There is a reason why most of us prefer the window seat, even at 40,000 feet with nothing to see except clouds and sky. We all have a strong desire to see what is out there. We all what to know and understand at some level, don't we?

Nick Wright

4/2/2016 11:16:28 am

Hi Barry. Thanks for posting such a personal and profound response. I love your introductory statement: 'We come to love learning by releasing our attachment to knowing. We release our attachment to knowing by by facing and releasing our fears about not knowing.' I can relate to that in so many ways. A few years ago, the CIPD (UK) invited me to speak at its national conference. I felt excited and, as the day approached, very nervous. When I spoke with my supervisor about this at the time, she enabled me to recognise that my nerves were rooted in fear about being asked a question that I didn't know the answer to. It relates to a fear of failure. We then experimented with responding with curiosity instead. It was a powerful and liberating experience. Thanks again for sharing and very best wishes. Nick

David Flory

6/2/2016 12:40:48 pm

If we stop experiencing the "not knowing" we're either not being honest, not paying attention, or not pushing ourselves far enough. I decided a long time ago to embrace my not knowing especially when it rears its ugly head during a training session. Through maintaining that positive voice during the admission to the class that Nick mentioned, I've found that the participants can then feel secure in their not knowing, and the class tends to gain a sense of unity when we find the answer together.

Nick Wright

6/2/2016 12:44:55 pm

Hi David and thanks for the note. I really like the way you framed that, especially in terms of whether we are pushing ourselves far enough. It reminded me of a great blog by Rho Sandberg that, I think, resonates well with this idea: http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/the-edge-of-experience. Let me know what you think? All the best. Nick

Sharon Haggerty

6/2/2016 12:41:37 pm

First of all, I would like to thank Nick for posting a question that has generated some really great responses. I have loved reading all of your comments and can relate to the fear of not knowing and how that would look to participants in a training session. Like David, over the years I have learned to embrace the fear and join participants in the learning journey. There is something very satisfying about learning together and as David says, you do gain a sense of unity.

Nick Wright

6/2/2016 12:50:31 pm

Thanks, Sharon. I think you expressed that beautifully. I particularly liked your point about fear of not-knowing and how that could be perceived by the group. I've found this to be a particular challenge when working in e.g. Asia where there are strong cultural expectations for the leader, manager, trainer to be the expert. I loved your comment about learning to embrace the fear and to join the participants on the learning journey. This says something to me about establishing a contract, a culture, with the learning group that means both you and they are able to work collaboratively and discover the great benefits of doing so. All the best. Nick

Rachel Puttick MSc PGCE

6/2/2016 10:11:47 pm

What an edifying conversation in this group - partly due to its depth and honesty. Honesty. Nick, I worked out in Asia for years and yes, that is the expectation. Yet I feel participants welcomed the reality of learnjng together at times, collaboratively. Corporate training is not always too different with an expectations of answers at all times and a days lecture that doesnt engender real learning - i.e things are done differently once back at work. Leaders who collaborate in resolving not knowing are those who are confident and responsive enough not to need to hang onto the power of 'knowing' or the mask of 'knowing' - whatever! Likewise I've enjoyed reading the post and comments alike.

Nick Wright

6/2/2016 10:16:03 pm

Hi Rachael and thanks for the note and the welcome challenge. Good to hear of your experiences in Asia too. I wasn't meaning to infer that everyone in Asia is resistant to collaborative learning(!) but that, rather, some of the cultural assumptions we carry in the West may need to be tested out in other cultural environments to avoid coming unstuck. In my experiences of working cross-culturally, so much comes down to establishing trust - and what builds and communicates trust varies from culture to culture. This is true of professional and organisational cultures too. What do you think? All the best. Nick

Paul Eyres

6/2/2016 10:18:38 pm

Great posts! For me wisdom is the quest for profound ignorance - a deep knowing of my unknowing. It all sounds very philosophical, however I find it extraordinarily practical in my practice - as I work to acquire new knowledge I expand my understanding of how much I do not know. In pure mathematical terms, as my circle of knowing expands, so does the surface area of that circle that touches the vast unknown also expands - this provides me with the humility of my new knowledge. Thanks for re-sparking these thoughts!

Nick Wright

6/2/2016 10:23:04 pm

Hi Paul. Thanks for posting such stimulating thoughts. What you describe - the quest for profound ignorance - reminds me of Socratic wisdom. I love that image of the circle - very profound indeed! It resonates with my spiritual experience as a Christian too. The more I understand God, the less I understand him. You have given me lots to reflect on. All the best. Nick

Ingrid Crollet

7/2/2016 11:35:06 am

Thanks for the inspiring and true words.
Allowing yourself 'not knowing', is allowing yourself tot be vulnerable.
In my leadership-trainingsessions, I always encourage people to embrace this.
If you force yourself to know it all, and always give the answers, you take away grow-opportunity from your fellow-workers. You end up being the expert, with a team of insecure, dependent people.
So indeed, a curious 'I don't know' as a leader, results in strong, independent teamworkers.

Nick Wright

7/2/2016 11:39:12 am

Hi Ingrid and thanks for your encouraging feedback. Yes, it's interesting to notice the impact that knowing and not-knowing can have on other people, including those we lead in leadership roles. This is one reason why Karakusevic's stance appeals to me. There is something about invitation that demands humility and welcomes - and thereby affirms - the contribution of others. In organisations where we are facing increasing ambiguity and uncertainty, I believe there is great wisdom in collaborative working - sharing questions, ideas, energy to enable powerful synergies to emerge. All the best. Nick

Ingrid Crollet

7/2/2016 05:22:15 pm

I can relate tot the akwardness of letting go 'knowing it all'. It took me a while as a trainer. From the moment I did, the sessions became more vibrant and fun. For everyone.

Clive Price

7/2/2016 11:39:57 am

Very interesting as it flies against logic.
In our office we encourage a 'state of ignorance' in order to focus on discovery learning - one lesson per day is what we share.
This all started with a remark by Einstein, "I am fascinated by my own state of curiosity and ignorance".
We capitalize on this idea every day.

Nick Wright

7/2/2016 11:42:08 am

Hi Clive. Thanks for sharing such a fascinating and inspiring example of 'discovery learning' in your office. I would to hear more about how you introduced it, how you do it, how you sustain it, what differences you are noticing etc. All the best. Nick

Tony Woods

8/2/2016 10:07:46 am

F Scott Fitzgerald once famously said "The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function". For me this forms the core or curiosity. The moment I think I know is the moment to realise I know almost nothing.

Nick Wright

8/2/2016 10:13:46 am

Hi Tony and thanks for the note. It sounds like FSF was speaking about the idea of paradox, sometimes expressed as polarities. I think I would try to frame my 'knowing' as knowing-with-awareness. That is, holding my knowing as a provisional state: 'This is what makes sense to me here and now'. It recognises that everything I perceive, I perceive through personally and socially-constructed lenses and experiences (see, e.g. Kenneth Gergen's work in this area). This means that what I know is always contingent on my personal and cultural circumstances. Does that make sense? All the best. Nick

Candys Hess

9/2/2016 06:34:22 am

When I'm going through a great period of growth in my life (which I currently am as a new entrepreneur), I get overwhelmed by how much I don't know (I think we all do) and then start thinking about how much I don't know that I don't know. At times like that, I envision myself as a sponge and that my job is to "absorb" all the knowledge I possibly can - I must talk to people who are more experienced, ask questions, read, etc. - whatever will help me learn more. Just that simple image changes the overwhelming situation to adventurous and exciting as I start a quest to fill up the sponge (me).

Nick Wright

9/2/2016 06:42:43 am

Hi Candys and thanks for the honest reflections. It's interesting how our psychological, emotional and physical states are influenced by the image we hold of ourselves in such situations. It sounds like envisioning yourself as a sponge moves you into an open rather than defensive state and, therefore, enables you to learn and grow. I love your description of this state as adventurous and exciting!

I can relate to the overwhelmed feeling you described. I remember studying in a new field and feeling high levels of anxiety about what I didn't know. I think it tapped into perfectionist tendencies and fear of failing or being perceived to fail. This interfered with my learning and my practice. I have tried to learn to focus, instead, on what I do know in that situation and to build on that. It feels more empowering. With best wishes. Nick

Michael Stamatiou

9/2/2016 08:14:57 pm

Dear posters, last week was busy with three days of training and four days of keeping bed because of flu Wow then getting back in this field of ignorantes! I feel lost in the diversity of the comments whilst it seems Nick that you posed the right questions in your first comment on my contribution.
What are we here to do?
What does this situation (or this learning goal) call for from us?
What are we and others ready, willing and able to take responsibility for?
What roles have I and others contracted to play in this situation?
How shall we do this?
How will I manage my own need to know and others' expectations of me to know?
The answers to these questions vary from situation to situation. And is there anything against starting with a 'tabula rasa' and first fill in the answers...but then who is buying? Does anyone start like this?

Nick Wright

9/2/2016 08:33:52 pm

Hi Michael and welcome back!

Sorry that you've been feeling so rough in the past week. Hope you're feeling better now. I love the question you pose about 'tabula rasa', even though I had to Google it because I didn't know what it meant! A good example of not-knowing. ;)

Here's a definition I found: An absence of preconceived ideas or predetermined goals; a clean slate.

It resonates for me with the idea of trying, as far as we can, to be aware of and suspend our assumptions. So I can't enter a situation 'blank' but I can be aware of what I'm carrying into the situation, at least insofar as that knowing is accessible to me. And I can choose to be curious, to explore the not-knowing space.

In a coaching, training or group facilitation context, the most important questions I tend to use are: 'What are we here to do?' and 'How shall we do this?'. It creates opportunity to surface and discuss our respective assumptions and to make choices together about focus, goals, methods, processes etc.

I've heard 2 people share some interesting ideas this week about how to break out of fixed patterns of seeing and doing things, e.g. when seeking to be more innovative or to rethink strategy.

One asked, 'If there were no negative consequences of failure, what would you try or do differently?

The other uses brainstorming techniques with groups and teams and insists that every third idea must be 'illegal, immoral or unworkable'. It creates a sense of fun, breaks people out of normal patterns of thinking and generates lateral insights that could have useful practical applications.

I will be interested to hear from you and others about what it could look like to approach a client with 'tabula rasa' in its most pure sense and, if having done so, what happened. With thanks again.

Nick

Fiona Ellis

28/2/2016 08:05:58 pm

I really recommend Steven D'Souza's book Not Knowing on this subject, and agree it plays out in all the leadership development work I do. Its at heart also of Theory U approach I use more and more. However not the easiest space to operate as a consultant when pulled into being the expert but certainly a powerful one.

Nick Wright

28/2/2016 08:09:05 pm

Hi Fiona and thanks for the note. Yes, I think D'Souza's book is great. I recognise the challenge you pose when working in consultant mode. Perhaps it's something about practising and contracting with ourselves and with the client with awareness: when offering expertise is valuable and when it can be limiting for the consultant and/or client. All the best. Nick

Joanna Wilde PhD

28/2/2016 08:10:18 pm

Expertise does not need to preclude uncertainty and inquiry. There is a difference between knowing the answer and knowing how to find out. I'm never troubled when my GP says I'm not sure what this is but let's do some tests....or let's try this and see... As a profession with less status we seem much more troubled by this reality...

Nick Wright

28/2/2016 08:21:11 pm

Hi Joanna and thanks for the note. I think that's an interesting point. Perhaps in the case of a GP, there is definitive knowledge that can be known or found out (e.g. is this bone broken or not and, if so, what is the position, nature and extent of the break) whereas in coaching and OD we are often dealing with perception, perspective, social construction of reality etc. where 'knowing' is, perhaps, created rather than discovered..? This is where starting from and holding a place of not-knowing (e.g. curiosity and inquiry) can be an advantage. I'm struggling to express this well! What do you think? All the best. Nick

Stella Goddard BA (Hons) Registered MBACP (Accred)

1/3/2016 01:33:07 pm

You've got us reflecting again Nick - thank you. You're right not knowing can be experienced in several ways. Professionally and personally I have seen and experienced not knowing as profoundly anxiety inducing. The way I have worked with this is by grounding exercises including relaxed breathing. Then considering what we do know. I have found that as we pause for a moment we are better able to take one step at a time - this also helps alleviate the sense of powerlessness of not knowing.

Nick Wright

1/3/2016 01:40:40 pm

Hi Stella and thanks for your honest reflections. My sense is that anxiety associated with not-knowing is driven from a number of different potential sources, e.g. expectation of ourselves, expectations of others, expectations that our professions create. There are, of course, situations where we are appropriately called to bring specific knowledge and expertise. The flipside is that our 'knowing' or that of the client can mean we work from the basis of assumptions that may or may not be sound. Approaching situations from a place of not-knowing can enable us to be more curious, more questioning, more innovative...and it can model humility, curiosity and willingness to invite challenge that can be powerful for clients too. In order to get myself into that state, I need to pause, breathe, pray and remind myself that sometimes my not-knowing can add more value than my knowing. All the best. Nick

Stella Goddard BA (Hons) Registered MBACP (Accred)

1/3/2016 03:20:14 pm

Thank you Nick. I concur with you. I would add that it is from my personal experience of working through not knowing that I am able to trust the process and help my clients as they work through their unknowing. This is about empowering them to draw in resources from within that perhaps they had forgotten about or didn't know they had. I also think there are some situations which in time we accept as we are not able to know and that's okay.

Nick Wright

1/3/2016 03:21:13 pm

Thanks Stella. I think you expressed that really well. All the best. Nick

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