 ‘The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential... these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.’ (Confucius) We may, at times, find ourselves stuck, unable to see a way forward, confined by the walls of the ways in which we are construing a situation – and very often completely unaware that that’s what’s happening. This is where various reflective disciplines such as coaching, action learning, spiritual direction and supervision can help. They can enable us to find or create a key that releases us to explore new perspectives, ideas, options and actions for change. Gareth Morgan observed astutely that ‘People have a knack for getting trapped in webs of their own creation.’ It’s a paradox. The mental models we hold of reality and truth can provide us with a subjective and cultural sense of clarity and coherence – things that enable us to function in our day-to-day lives without getting overwhelmed by the complexities of life in this world and at work – yet often they hide as much as they reveal. The map is not the territory. A first step can be, therefore, to enable critical reflexivity – to notice that we’re applying filters and, furthermore, what may lay behind that for us. It’s a bit like looking in a mirror: ‘What does the way in which I’m thinking, feeling about and responding to this person, relationship or situation say about me?’ This could be broadened to ‘…and about my cultural background and context?’ Then, as a consequence, ‘What’s (therefore) my own part in what I’m experiencing?’ A next step can be to shift towards vision and options, thinking the unthinkable and snapping mental chains. It inspires and draws on the power of imagination, for instance: ‘What would be a great outcome for me (or, by extension, my team, organisation, beneficiaries or clients)?’ ‘What would it take to get there?’ ‘What would I be willing to do to achieve this?’ This is where we may encounter resistance, a push-back that surfaces and exposes what lays beneath. A third step could be, therefore, to explore the foundations and edges – to touch and feel the walls, if you like. Questions at this stage could include, for instance: ‘What assumptions am I making?’ ‘Where am I drawing the lines on what I believe is possible?’ ‘What are my greatest hopes and fears in this?’ ‘What values is this triggering for me’ ‘It can feel like stretching the boundaries of our current realities, testing the limits, opening cracks wider to let light in. A final stage is to move towards solutions and actions. It enables a sense of agency, of traction, and taps deeply into motivation and determination. It’s where the focus shifts from reflection on a situation to a choice to do something to address it. Questions here could be, for instance: ‘What would make the cost-investment worthwhile?’ ‘Who and what resources can I draw on to help me achieve this?’ ‘How will I follow through on this?’ ‘What’s my next step?’ 
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 ‘Great coaches help you see what you can be, not just what you are.’ (Ara Parseghian) There are all kinds of legitimate reasons why people engage in commercial business activities. For many, it's to create dividends on investments for shareholders or to generate funds to improve one’s own social status, lifestyle and opportunities. There are also those who seek to generate profit through business with the explicit purpose of enabling social change. This is quite different to charitable ventures or conventional public sector (that is, not-for-profit) services, even though the desired outcomes may well be similar. Same ends, different means. My own coach challenged me on this recently – and rightly so. I commented glibly in a session that, quite frankly, through my work, I had no interest in helping the rich to get richer. There are other people in my professional field who would be better suited and more aligned values-wise to that goal than me. I explained that I work with people and organisations that are beyond-profit, that exist to enable social and spiritual change, particularly in the lives of those who are poorest and most vulnerable in the world. That seemed, to me, quite different to business. My coach pushed back: ‘What about a business that exists for a social-spiritual purpose?’ That stopped me in my tracks and I was keen to explore it. It got me thinking about profit-for-purpose and social enterprise; concepts and models that are, ironically, characteristics of my own work too and yet had lain largely outside of my awareness. It inspired me to stretch my horizons and extend the reach of my work, to support social entrepreneurs who share a radical vision. I, too, experienced afresh the power of coaching to remove blinkers from the eyes.  ‘We serve the client best by breaking out of the medical model we have come to expect. We are not an organisational doctor who describes their symptoms, who looks them over, prescribes a solution and sends them on their way. Better to define our task as a process of dialogue and discovery.’ (Peter Block) I first encountered this approach when I read Edgar Schein’s now-classic text, Process Consultation. It frames the consultant role as a co-actor alongside the client and the consultancy itself as a co-creative process. The consultant holds a metaphorical mirror up to the client, or to the client team or organisation, and thereby creates opportunity for them to notice what they had not noticed or make fresh sense of what they are seeing. In the language of coaching and supervision, it enables critical reflexivity and critical reflective practice. To do this well, to support a client’s willingness to look at themselves and a wider system and culture through critically-constructive eyes, the consultant must work from the outset to build relationship, dialogue and trust. After all, if trust is low, an unexpected or deeply-challenging revelation could evoke a defensive response and, thereby, close down possibilities for learning and change. Often, the consultant’s role may call for trust-building across a wider team, group or organisation too. The key lays in doing-with, not doing-for or doing-to.  ‘The question is to provoke fresh thought, not to elicit an answer.’ (Stephen Guy) I thought that was a great way of framing it. At an Action Learning Facilitators’ Training event with the NHS this week, we were looking at open coaching-type questions in the exploration phase of an Action Learning round and how they differ from, say, simple questions for clarification. A great question for exploration often stops a presenter in their thinking tracks. We may notice them fall silent; gaze upwards as if on search mode; get stuck for words; speak tentatively or more…slowly. That’s very different to a presenter who answers quickly, fluently or easily – as if telling us something they already know or have already thought through for themselves. In a different Action Learning set recently, one presenter did just that. They were speaking as an expert, not as a learner, so I invited them to count to 10 silently before responding to any question posed – and invited the rest of the group to count to 10 silently too, after the presenter had spoken, before offering a next question. The idea here was to allow the questions to sink deep. Thomas Aquinas, a philosopher and theologian, commented (my paraphrase) that a great question sets us off on a journey of discovery. Brian Watts observed, similarly, that the word question itself has the word quest embedded in it. Sonja Antell invites a presenter simply – but not always easily – to ‘sit with the question’, to reflect in silence and allow the question to do its work. It’s often the place where transformation occurs.  ‘Action Learning aims to shake you out of the cage of your current thinking.’ (Pedler & Boutall) Action Learning: a method by which someone receives stretching, coaching-type questions from a small group of peers. The aim is to resolve a pressing challenge, a real-life/work issue that has left the person perplexed or stuck. The idea is to leave with actions, practical steps that will help to move things forward. Yet what gets a person stuck in the first place? If it’s a complex challenge, such as that of navigating the intricacies of diverse human relationships, we may become inadvertently caged by our own assumptions. Gareth Morgan commented that ‘people have a knack for getting trapped in webs of their own creation.’ If we don’t know what assumptions we’re making, everything may seem self-evident to us. This is where Action Learning and coaching really can help. If we can engender a spirit of curiosity within ourselves and invite challenging questions from different others, we may discover a door emerging in our previously-unseen cage, experience the agency to push it wide open and step outside to embrace fresh possibilities. It could just change...everything.  ‘Open-ended questions can help clients reflect and generate knowledge of which they may have previously been unaware.’ (Jeremy Sutton) You may have noticed when you order or buy something that, before asking you for payment, the salesperson may ask, ‘Anything else?’ It’s a simple prompt that, when posed, may cause you to remember something, or to make a choice vis a vis something over which you had been wavering. This same approach can be useful in coaching. A coach could ask during the contracting stage: ‘Is there anything else we should be talking about?’ It can sometimes reveal a very significant issue that, until invited, feels unclear to the client, lays out of conscious awareness or has not yet been aired. In action learning, similarly when a facilitator invites a presenter to say something more about the issue they would like to think through, insights that come to mind or actions they plan to take, they can ask, ‘Anything else?’ A presenter, when prompted, will often respond with: ‘Oh yes, and…X’ So, now for a brief moment of reflection. What ideas come to mind for you now as you read this blog? Jot down those that surface immediately… then pause for a moment before moving on to something else in your busy schedule. Ask yourself: ‘Anything else?’ and see what may emerge.  ‘Behind every problem, there is a question trying to ask itself. Behind every question, there is an answer trying to reveal itself.’ (Michael Beckwith) Second-guessing. It creates all sorts of risks. ‘What time does Paul’s meeting finish?’ Is that a simple request for information, or is there a question behind the question? ‘I’d like to meet with Paul this afternoon. What time will he be free?’ That’s better. ‘I need you to present an urgent strategy update to the Board.’ Again, is that a simple instruction, or is there an issue that lays behind it? ‘I’d like to demonstrate to the Board next week that our investments are achieving the desired results.’ Better. A problem with a question that fails to reveal the question, the issue, that lays behind the question is that it leaves the other party to fill in the gaps. In doing so, they are likely to draw on their own assumptions – which could be very different to your own – or sometimes their anxieties. ‘Is he complaining that Paul’s meeting is over-running?’ ‘Is she inferring there’s a problem with my work on strategy delivery that I hadn’t been aware of?’ Simply stating our intention can make all the difference.  ‘Human existence is always directed to something, or someone, other than itself – be it a meaning to fulfil, or another human being to encounter lovingly.’ (Viktor Frankl) Existential coaching is a powerful and introspective approach that can empower individuals and groups to confront life's fundamental questions, find meaning and embrace personal and social responsibility. Rooted in existential philosophy, this coaching method guides clients through self-exploration, enabling them to confront their fears and uncertainties and make authentic choices aligned with their values. Here are some examples of existential coaching questions:
Existential coaching recognizes that we all face inherent dilemmas, and embracing these challenges can lead to personal and social growth. Using this approach, the coach serves as a supportive ally, helping clients to confront their concerns, explore their inner personal-cultural truths and develop a deeper understanding of themselves. The client can learn to navigate life's complexities with greater clarity and intention, leading to a more meaningful and purposeful life. [Further reading: Monica Hanaway, The Handbook of Existential Coaching Practice (2020); Yannick Jacob, An Introduction to Existential Coaching (2019); Emmy van Deurzen & Monica Hanaway, Existential Perspectives on Coaching (2012)]  ‘No matter what happens, we always have a choice.’ (Napz Cherub Pellazo) ‘What are your options?’ is a good question in coaching, except when it isn’t. Many people come for coaching in the first place because they face an issue or a dilemma, and they can’t see a way forward. Sabine Dembkowski and Fiona Eldridge observed this phenomenon in their article, ‘Beyond GROW’ (2023): ‘Clients often experience a stuck state…where they feel trapped as if there are no alternatives or keep circling around the same issue without being able to generate new options.’ Against this backdrop, ‘What are your options?’ can be met with a bemused, ‘I don’t know. That’s why I’m here.’ An inexperienced coach may feel stuck too at this point and perhaps, hoping to find a way through, ask something along the lines of ‘What have you already tried?’ Again, this may elicit little more than feedback on what the client has already done and found to be ineffective (which the client knows already anyway), and bring both parties back to square one. An alternative, and potentially more useful, framing could be something like, ‘Given what you have tried already, what is the crux of the issue for you now?’ This may stimulate fresh insight and, in turn, raise new possibilities into awareness. A different approach can be to pose questions that aim to stretch the boundaries of the client’s current constructs and imagination, for example: ‘What would you do if you had a blank cheque?’ ‘What would you do if you felt no fear?’ ‘What could you do if you were not answerable to anyone?’ Claire Pedrick might invite a stuck client to generate a spectrum of options, from ‘Do nothing’ to whatever they would regard as a ‘Nuclear option’. Ian Gray deploys a fun and radical brainstorming technique, where every third option or idea must be ‘illegal, immoral or absolutely unworkable’. If a client still feels completely stuck, I may invite them to take a large, blank sheet of paper, draw themselves at the centre, then co-create radical options in the form of a mind map. In order to help minimise the risks of instinctive psychological and emotional resistance or push back from the client, I emphasise that the options simply represent possibilities, not what the client may want or consider right to do. Against each option, I then invite the client to respond to two questions: ‘If you were to do this, what would it make possible (or right)?’ and, ‘If you were to be do this, what would you need?' [See also: Out of the building; Worst possible idea]  ‘If I had only one hour to save the world, I would spend fifty-five minutes defining the problem, and only five minutes finding the solution.’ (Albert Einstein) Action Learning is a powerful way to explore an issue, formulate a solution and enable personal agency to act and influence change. It can also be used effectively to enable a group with shared interests or concerns to work on and address an issue together. The first step in this latter approach often entails helping a group to formulate its own question or hypothesis at the outset, a bit like when conducting action research, to establish appropriate focus and boundaries. As a facilitator, we can invite the group to reflect on criteria and wider considerations as it performs this initial task. Here are some examples: a. In relation to this issue, who are they key stakeholders in the system? b. Do we have the right people in the room to address this issue? c. Is it feasible to make useful progress on the issue in the time we have available? d. Are there any ethical, intersectional, reflexive or relational issues we should pay attention to in how we do this? Sometimes, I notice that one or more participants may have an intuitive awareness, a feeling or a hunch that something is, say, anxiety-provoking, challenging or stuck in their system, yet they may struggle to articulate it. In that case, I may invite them to, for instance, draw a picture, tell a story or enact a stance to help surface whatever issues lay beneath for them. Then, we continue the process (above) to reach clarity and agreement, as a group, before we move forward. |
Nick WrightI'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? Get in touch! 
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