NICK WRIGHT
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Options

11/5/2023

16 Comments

 
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‘No matter what happens, we always have a choice.’ (Napz Cherub Pellazo)

‘What are your options?’ is a good question in coaching, except when it isn’t. Many people come for coaching in the first place because they face an issue or a dilemma, and they can’t see a way forward. Sabine Dembkowski and Fiona Eldridge observed this phenomenon in their article, ‘Beyond GROW’ (2023): ‘Clients often experience a stuck state…where they feel trapped as if there are no alternatives or keep circling around the same issue without being able to generate new options.’ Against this backdrop, ‘What are your options?’ can be met with a bemused, ‘I don’t know. That’s why I’m here.’

An inexperienced coach may feel stuck too at this point and perhaps, hoping to find a way through, ask something along the lines of ‘What have you already tried?’ Again, this may elicit little more than feedback on what the client has already done and found to be ineffective (which the client knows already anyway), and bring both parties back to square one. An alternative, and potentially more useful, framing could be something like, ‘Given what you have tried already, what is the crux of the issue for you now?’ This may stimulate fresh insight and, in turn, raise new possibilities into awareness.

A different approach can be to pose questions that aim to stretch the boundaries of the client’s current constructs and imagination, for example: ‘What would you do if you had a blank cheque?’ ‘What would you do if you felt no fear?’ ‘What could you do if you were not answerable to anyone?’ Claire Pedrick might invite a stuck client to generate a spectrum of options, from ‘Do nothing’ to whatever they would regard as a ‘Nuclear option’. Ian Gray deploys a fun and radical brainstorming​ technique, where every third option or idea must be ‘illegal, immoral or absolutely unworkable’.

If a client still feels completely stuck, I may invite them to take a large, blank sheet of paper, draw themselves at the centre, then co-create radical options in the form of a mind map. In order to help minimise the risks of instinctive psychological and emotional resistance or push back from the client, I emphasise that the options simply represent possibilities, not what the client may want or consider right to do. Against each option, I then invite the client to respond to two questions: ‘If you were to do this, what would it make possible (or right)?’ and, ‘If you were to be do this, what would you need?'

[See also: Out of the building; Worst possible idea]
16 Comments
Elise
12/5/2023 11:00:40 am

Personally I would put the problem in the centre of the paper rather than “them”. IMO the more they think about themselves, albeit in stick figure form, the more likely they will be unable to think outside of the box and will restrict their thinking to their comfort zone. Generating new ideas requires them to think outside of themselves (which is plagued with limiting beliefs) and rather to consider the problem from an objective observer’s perspective that had no restrictions as to possible solutions.

Reply
Nick Wright
12/5/2023 11:28:21 am

Hi Elise. Thank you for posing such an interesting alternative. That got me thinking. Yes, I think that any approach that helps to disrupt the client's current fixed constructs or 'Gestalts' can be useful. A question that came to mind when I read through your insights and ideas is whether the focus for the client is on the issue, or on the client in relation to issue, or both - and/or on something else altogether.

It could be interesting, for instance, to invite the client to experiment with placing e.g. the challenge at the centre and, perhaps themselves on the outside looking in; or to place a completely different person, or a person in a very different role in relation to the issue, in the centre - then to see what fresh insights and ideas may emerge. You've certainly sparked my imagination!

Reply
Tom Ainsworth
12/5/2023 12:50:52 pm

Great blog Nick. As you rightly say, the options part of coaching is often the stuck part. Have you tried lateral thinking? I find that helpful too.

Reply
Nick Wright
12/5/2023 12:54:16 pm

Thank you, Tom. Yes, I found Edward de Bono's Lateral Thinking ground-breaking at the time. My favourite of his techniques is to take a random object (the more random, the better), then to list as many different qualities and characteristics of that object as possible, then to apply that list (literally or metaphorically) to the issue I'm facing, to see if it raises any fresh insights or ideas into view.

Reply
Mia Adamson
12/5/2023 12:58:09 pm

Isn't there a risk Nick that a person will feel anxious or overwhelmed if their mental constructs are challenged like this, or that they may choose an option that was fun to create but unworkable or unethical in practice.

Reply
Nick Wright
12/5/2023 01:09:25 pm

Hi Mia. That's a fair challenge. Yes, it's one reason why careful contracting with a client is so important at the outset, both in terms of 'What are we here to do?' and 'How shall we do this?' Generating options is one part of a coaching conversation and process. At best, in my experience, it involves a co-active approach, doing-with rather than doing-to.

This short related piece may be of interest: https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/deconstructing-the-box

The options generation stage I've outlined here is designed to enable divergent, fresh thinking and ideas, before moving back into a 'realities' phase. In terms of workability and ethics, the next stage of the coaching conversation would typically involve enabling a client to evaluate the options they have generated.

Reply
Ray West
12/5/2023 01:12:07 pm

Hey Nick. I followed your worst possible idea link. Brilliant. Genuis! It made me smile. Gave me some great new ideas. :)

Reply
Nick Wright
12/5/2023 01:14:26 pm

Thanks Ray. Yes, I love that technique too. It can ease tension, create laughter and set a tone for radical ideas generation.

Reply
Patricia Wellman
13/5/2023 10:45:07 am

Hello Nick! At the moment, I’m facing some difficult decisions. There are so many options, some are more reasonable than others, some are just theoretical, others are easier to implement. But which one do I choose? Here I am at the moment. I listen to my feeling, to "what if", to the opinions of friends and always have the trust in God that he is there through a feeling in me, my thinking and talking to others and shows me the way. It's not always easy, sometimes there's a touch of panic in me and sometimes I'm very calm. I'm curious where the path leads.

Reply
Nick Wright
13/5/2023 12:21:13 pm

Hi Patricia and thank you for sharing so openly and honestly. Yes, when we are faced with so many options, it can feel bewildering and difficult to make a choice. 'I listen to my feeling' sounds wise to me. Sometimes, we discern guidance through intuition and prayer that are in accessible to the rational mind. I hope your path leads you into a life-giving direction.

Reply
Hans Vogel
13/5/2023 12:17:03 pm

Your ideas are stupid and inefficient, Nick Wright. Why waste so much time to discuss ideas that are "illegal, immoral or absolutely unworkable"? How does that help? Better to focus in reality.

Reply
Nick Wright
13/5/2023 12:32:01 pm

Hi Hans. That's a fair question. I'll try to explain. We are often constrained by what we perceive as 'reality'. Sometimes, thinking about different possibilities, no matter how crazy they may seem, can bring fresh insights and ideas to mind. We can then evaluate those ideas according to, for instance, what we believe is true, right and important.

One of the best examples I witnessed was at an NGO innovation workshop. One participant suggested playfully the idea of 'ethical terrorism'. Everyone laughed. They then discussed, however, how some terrorists are willing to sacrifice their own lives for what they believe in. The NGO realised it had become too risk averse.

This led into a lively conversation about positive (not terrorist) risk-taking. This, in turn, influenced the NGO's culture, strategy and tactics. So, what started out as a crazy idea prompted the NGO to view its own work in a fresh light. It was, perhaps, faster and more efficient and more radical than a more conventional analysis could have achieved.

Reply
Francesca Garnier
13/5/2023 12:34:37 pm

Hi Nick. I'm glad you mention resistance. A person can feel comfortable and safe in their own constructs. Radical questions can feel confusing or threatening. We need to help clients feel safe first.

Reply
Nick Wright
13/5/2023 12:41:09 pm

Hi Francesca. I agree with you, absolutely. Contracting and agreeing ground rules from the outset is very important. It means the client retains control of the process and is not forced to go where they don't want to go. In my experience, if the client is in a safe-enough place, in a state of curiosity and invites the challenge that exploring radical options can entail, the conversation is far more likely to be fruitful for them.

The resistance can sometimes arise from a genuine stuck-ness in current personal, cultural and contextual constructs. On that theme, these short related pieces may be of interest?

https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/solutions
https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/out-of-the-building
https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/spots

Reply
Nur R.
18/5/2023 01:11:10 pm

Sure we do.

Reply
Nick Wright
18/5/2023 01:11:54 pm

Hi Nur. Indeed.

Reply



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    ​Nick Wright

    ​I'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? ​Get in touch!

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