 Look before you leap!
Conventional wisdom advises caution over spontaneous action. Think then do. It enables us to make considered decisions. It minimises risks. To do otherwise sounds foolish, reckless. And there are, of course, many situations in which this advice, this approach, rings true. Who, for instance, would embark on a radical venture without first preparing, looking at the pros and cons, counting the cost? Thinking before acting helps us to feel safer, more responsible. It’s about learning-before, weighing up options and implications then deciding a way forward. Just do it! Woah - by contrast, this sounds jarring, jolting. Act then reflect. Hold your breath and take a leap of faith. Do it and see what happens. Scary - but look…eyes blinking in bright light…this is where transformational power can really exert itself in coaching. Instead of, ‘How might it be if…?’, do it. Instead of, ‘I’m stuck in my thinking about this…’, stand up and show what ‘being stuck’ or ‘unstuck’ looks and feels like physically. Play, experiment. Notice what happens: insights and ideas for the next step forward, here and now. One step at a time. Trust the process.
30 Comments
Missy Rose
11/1/2016 08:22:02 pm
Great article! I have experienced recently the art of just standing up and letting people know that I'm stuck in my thoughts, but that this is currently what I will be doing... So it's not as if I'm leaping without any thought, Ive thought much, but I'm not allowing that to hold me back.
Nick Wright
11/1/2016 08:25:45 pm
Hi Missy and thanks for the encouraging feedback. I like the idea of thinking but not allowing that to hold you back! All the best. Nick
Ian Henderson
11/1/2016 08:22:48 pm
Good article Nick. I have often used the meta mirror tool to help me through this kind of situation; especially in relationship issues.
Nick Wright
11/1/2016 08:24:07 pm
Thanks Ian! Say something more about the 'meta mirror' and what it looks like to use it? All the best. Nick
Jeanne Schulze
13/1/2016 07:22:26 pm
For me in my 6th decade, I am finally embracing "trusting God."
Nick Wright
13/1/2016 07:23:06 pm
Me too, Jeanne. ;) All the best. Nick
Rod Johnson
14/1/2016 08:59:05 am
Nick, I've been doing Peer Group learning programs for 10+ years. I have a tool I've developed called Peer Insight. It is a random card process that is topic focused. I facilitate the process and trust that what needs to be discussed will be discussed. Its what's relevant at a specific point in time. And what comes out of the process is context focused learning. Real learning occurs when we give up control and hand it over to our students to wrestle with and learn from each other.
Nick Wright
14/1/2016 09:04:18 am
Hi Rod and thanks for the note. I would be very interested to hear more about your Peer Insight tool. I met with a client yesterday who is feeling stuck. I used 'Coaching Cards for Managers' (Barefoot Coaching) to open up fresh angles. I invited the client to choose 3 cards from the pack randomly then to say whatever resonated with her or what the prompts on the cards evoked for her. This is similar to DeBono's use of random objects to stimulate lateral thinking. All the best. Nick
Cath Norris MA, BA, Dip Couns
21/1/2016 07:23:09 pm
Nick, thanks for your refreshing post. I was trained to get in my gut and trust my sense of a situation. I spent several years dropping in and feeling into what my guts were telling me. I backed this up with a few years of somatic movement practice and training. I started experimenting with speaking from my felt sense of my clients situation and cutting out the need for cognition. It got me in the flow and brought consistently good feedback regarding my ability to 'hit the nail on the head'. Head has its uses but body and guts hold a wealth of resources.
Nick Wright
21/1/2016 07:28:48 pm
Hi Cath. Thanks for the encouraging feedback and inspiring reflections on experience. I once wrote an article which, I believe, resonates well with the approach you have described: http://www.nick-wright.com/just-do-it.html. I would be very interested to hear what you make of it - what you sense as you read it? All the best. Nick
Cath Norris MA, BA, Dip Couns
23/1/2016 12:24:26 pm
Nick, thank you so much! My sense of excitement, recognition and relief at reading your article was fabulous! I was trained by someone who studied with Laura Perls so gestalt was my grounding for my therapeutic work. Are you familiar with the work of Arnold Mindell? I've studied with him and was deeply moved by his complex appreciation of the levels and channels on which, and through which, we communicate. I found his approach profoundly sensitising. I love how in your review you emphasised the potential for deepening the co-creative process as that had been my only concern - that the process remain person centred and embedded in acknowledging and supporting the clients self directed process.
Nick Wright
23/1/2016 12:32:32 pm
Hi Cath. Thanks for such an inspiring response. I could feel your excitement as I read your note. Your note excited me too. I felt a sense of privilege to connect with someone who was trained by someone who studied with the legendary Laura Perls! :) I haven't come across Mindell's work and I'm very interested to hear more. I too am interested in ideas and approaches that can be noticed, experienced and applied at multiple levels. In my own life, this has enriched my insights and practice in coaching, OD and international development. Are there any specific works by Mindell that you would recommend? With thanks and best wishes. Nick
Cath Norris MA, BA, Dip Couns
26/1/2016 10:01:14 am
'The Deep Democracy of Open Forums' is a really practical guide to using process work in larger group settings. There are also several articles on his website: http://www.aamindell.net/articles/
Nick Wright
26/1/2016 10:03:12 am
Many thanks, Cath. I've just ordered that book and 'Sitting in the Fire'. (I know that feeling!). Nick
Cath Norris MA, BA, Dip Couns
26/1/2016 08:07:48 pm
Great...would love to hear what you make of them. "sitting in the fire" I love that phrase and "burning our wood". Life can certainly be intense at times!
Tania Potter
21/1/2016 07:23:43 pm
Hey Nick! Both have their place, the wisdom is knowing which one, right there in the moment.
Nick Wright
21/1/2016 07:31:48 pm
Hey Tania! Yes, I agree. Question: how do you know which is right in the moment? What guides your decision, e.g. instinct, intuition, the preference of the client...or something(s) else? I would love to hear more. All the best. Nick
Tania Potter
23/1/2016 12:21:49 pm
Now that is a food for thought kind of question, Nick! I was going to say intuition guides the decision, but i think it is more trusting, and waiting for a sense of clarity.The wisdom i mentioned, is when a whole lot of things come together and you see the situation so clearly that you 'know' what is appropriate. There is a combination of an intuitive sense of what is happening, a more intellectual understanding of the situation and deeper insight into the underlying patterns at play. From that place, it seems easier to know whether to leap or hold your seat and let things unfold naturally. Gosh, I hope that makes sense?
Nick Wright
23/1/2016 12:39:16 pm
Hi Tania. You expressed that beautifully! I have found, similarly, that I can trust that, at each step of the coaching experience, the next step will become clearer. I often won't know in advance what I am going to 'know' in the moment or what I will do when that moment arrives. Some of that trust emerges through study, experience, practise and reflection. The image that came to mind as I read your note was from the Bible - 'Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path'. It's as if we are somehow enabled to see the next step and that, in the moment, that is enough. Thanks again for your interesting and inspiring reflections. All the best. Nick
Cath Norris MA, BA, Dip Couns
23/1/2016 12:41:16 pm
Tania I love your thoughtful exploration of the issue. Thank you.
Tania Potter
24/1/2016 06:17:08 pm
Nicely said, Cath, it reminds me of something, I read years ago, (not sure where but possibly in a Fritjof Capra book), that evolution happens at the edge of chaos. One of the interesting things I have found personally, is that sometimes the 'not moving' either towards or away from what is going on is the most difficult by far, a sort of holding your seat on that edge. We get so caught up in the either or, the leap or the look dynamic and yet that very dynamic is what is limiting us. I am getting very philosophical for a Sunday morning! That said, I am intrigued by your response to Nick's link, so heading off to read it right now.
Cath Norris MA, BA, Dip Couns
24/1/2016 06:18:52 pm
I like what you said Tania about being able to choose to stay at the edge rather than going over it as part of a reactive state. Nice. That's working a different edge, an edge to staying with not knowing. That reminds me of the Art of Hosting, they have a great focus on 'being with not knowing' and giving space for whatever really needs to emerge. Inviting in the space feels very appropriate for me on this Sunday morning :D I thought you might like this from the Presencing Institute
Tania Potter
24/1/2016 06:19:58 pm
Nick, just read the article in the link above and wow, so interesting. The gestalt approach is not one I am familiar with but it's given lots of food for thought.
Nick Wright
23/1/2016 12:44:37 pm
Hi Cath and Tania. Love the idea of the 'edge'. Have a glance at the blog by Rho Sandberg mentioned in here: http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/the-edge-of-experience. Let me know if that resonates! All the best. Nick
Cath Norris MA, BA, Dip Couns
25/1/2016 06:53:14 pm
Nick, I studied Arnold Mindells work with Rho at the Process Work Institute in Portland which is where I was introduced to the concept of edge work. :D
Nick Wright
25/1/2016 06:54:07 pm
Wow, Cath - small world or what?!!
Cath Norris MA, BA, Dip Couns
26/1/2016 09:46:29 am
Indeed, and pleasantly so Nick. 17/5/2016 09:41:30 am
Coming late to this thread, so forgive the resurrection but wanted to say how much I liked the article. I spent several years training to be a Gestalt therapist alongside my OD and coaching work and the idea that people should trust their instinct more and simply act appeals to me ... I guess experience has also taught me that in order for this to work we need to have spent time becoming aware of what our desires/intentions actually are!
Nick Wright
23/4/2020 01:02:54 pm
Hi Andy. Apologies for the long delay in responding to your comments! I revisited this blog today and discovered that I hadn't replied. Yes, I too have a similar background in Gestalt coaching alongside my own OD work. This related case study article may be of interest as a Gestalt therapist? http://www.nick-wright.com/just-do-it.html. I would love to hear your response. 27/4/2020 05:08:47 am
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