‘We are interested in the past only insofar as it impacts on the present.’ (Geoff Pelham)
I worked with a training group recently that was learning the skills of action learning, a form of group coaching in which one person presents an issue and others help her or him to think it through to find or create a solution. As one person at a time talked about a challenge that he or she was facing at work, I noticed others often instinctively posed questions or prompts that aimed to uncover the person’s history or the backstory to the situation. The person presenting would then typically respond with something like, ‘OK, let me take you back to the beginning, where it all started.’ In doing so, the presenter used up precious action-learning time reciting a story that he or she already knew. It was as if, by sharing wider background information in this way, the peer coaches would have greater understanding and, therefore, be better equipped to pose useful questions. Yet, as Claire Pedrick (Simplifying Coaching, 2021) puts it: ‘…our role is not to see the situation thoroughly, or to diagnose. It is for the thinker to see the situation thoroughly.’ The purpose of action learning, like coaching, is to enable the person to think more deeply and broadly for themselves. Claire goes on to reframe past-facing questions by bringing them into the present, e.g. from, ‘Tell me your backstory?’ to ‘Tell yourself your back story and let’s see what we notice?’; or from ‘What have you already tried?’ to ‘If you look at what you have tried already, what do you notice?’ If a person repeatedly recounts the same story from his or her past, Claire will shift the focus to the present, the here-and-now, by posing a gentle challenge, e.g. ‘Assume I know everything. What do we need to think about today?’; or ‘What is your most important question about that today?’ I worked with a psychodynamic consultant, Kamil Kellner, in an action learning group. Once, when a person presented a topic by framing its origins in the past, Kamil noticed her emotional state as she spoke and reflected back simply with, ‘The past feels very present.’ I had a similar experience when once, as a student in a group, I became quite emotional. The psychotherapist tutor, Mark Sutherland, responded, ‘It’s not the first time you’ve been here is it, Nick?’ The past can resonate so powerfully in the present. The gift is to notice its presence and create a shift in the now.
14 Comments
Richard Simpson
18/5/2021 09:35:26 am
As always, a very thoughtful and profound blog, Nick. In my coaching, it took me much practice to manage my curiosity about the coachees' backstory. And yet so often, their past was often very present and troublesome to them, no matter how distant in time. And chunking up to a global perspective, I observe that much of the violence and trouble in the world today seems to be related to our inability to let go of the past - or at least our version of it.
Reply
Nick Wright
20/5/2021 11:35:22 am
Hi Richard and thank you for your encouragement and insights. I recognised your observation that, 'so often, their past was very present and troublesome to them, no matter how distant in time' in my own coaching practice too. The challenge and opportunity is, I think, how to enable the client to e.g. acknowledge, learn from and move on from their past without getting stuck there, or missing its significance for their present and future. That's not always easy. I agree with your comment on a global perspective. The more I study the first and second world wars, the more I can make sense of what is happening geopolitically now...and perhaps why.
Reply
Richard Simpson
20/5/2021 11:51:36 am
Hi Nick - very much agree with your sentiment of not getting stuck in the past. The past should be a springboard for the coach and coachee, not a ball and chain.
Reply
Nick Wright
20/5/2021 09:03:50 pm
Thanks Richard. What great and vivid metaphors!
Reply
Ksenija Genc Novak
20/5/2021 08:58:15 pm
Great article! Thank you for sharing.
Reply
Nick Wright
20/5/2021 09:00:42 pm
Many thanks, Ksenija. Much appreciated.
Reply
Betty Dixon
29/5/2021 08:25:13 am
What I experienced in the past always plays into the now. But my life and I are constantly evolving, perspectives and reactions change. This also changes my view of what I experienced back then in the here and now.
Reply
Nick Wright
1/6/2021 11:23:29 am
Hi Betty and thank you for sharing such profound reflections. Yes, we tend to re-interpret past experiences through the filters of the present, and vice versa too. I like how you have drawn on learning from the past and shown from personal experience how that has shaped you now.
Reply
Rebecca Cain
31/5/2021 10:33:19 am
Beautifully crafted Nick and really useful. Thank you 😊
Reply
Nick Wright
31/5/2021 10:34:43 am
Hi Rebecca and thank you for such encouraging feedback! ☀️
Reply
Sue Featherstone
1/6/2021 10:26:30 am
Nick, thanks for creating a moment to reflect.
Reply
Nick Wright
1/6/2021 11:19:15 am
Hi Sue. You're welcome. (And great to hear from you and Rebecca again after all this time!)
Reply
Dachiel Tolentino
3/6/2021 09:27:26 am
I’ll keep this in mind.
Reply
Nick Wright
3/6/2021 09:28:14 am
Thanks Dachiel. I hope it proves useful.
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
Nick WrightI'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? Get in touch! Like what you read? Simply enter your email address below to receive regular blog updates!
|