NICK WRIGHT
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Existential coaching

17/2/2013

77 Comments

 
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​I had precautionary tests this week for a potentially life-threatening condition. Thankfully, the results turned out to be OK but it’s experiences like this that often bring existential issues into sharp relief. Existential coaching focuses on helping a person explore his or her own sense of ‘being in the world’, that strange psychic awareness that we are in the world before what we are in the world. At times, such awareness can feel mysterious, unfathomable, disorientating and anxiety-provoking. It’s like one of those moments when, as a child, I gazed up into the night sky, saw the stars and the enormity of space, imagined space and time going on forever and felt dizzy and perplexed by it. It can also raise deep questions to the surface such as, ‘Who am I?’ and 'Why am I here?’

According to existentialist thought, our essence as a person isn’t fixed but we become who we are through the choices we make. Our choices are influenced by factors such as the assumptions, beliefs, judgements, hopes and fears etc. we hold about ourselves, the same we hold about others and how we experience and act in our relationships with others, in our everyday  circumstances and in the decisions we face and make. Existentialist writers sometimes refer to this as our ‘stance in the world’, that is, how we perceive, position ourselves and act in our everyday lives. Our stance both reflects something of our sense of and our way of being in the world and shapes who we are and become in the world. I can share a personal example to illustrate this phenomenon.

When my youngest daughter was 7 years old, I took her to a theme park that had a very high and steep ‘death slide’. I was surprised and impressed to see her quietly but resolutely psyche herself up to leap down its harrowing slope. When she finally did do it, I asked her how she managed to bring herself to push herself off its terrifying edge. She responded in a way that humbled and amazed me: ‘Firstly, when you told me it would be OK, I trusted you that it would be OK, even though it looked so scary. Secondly, when I write about what we did today in my diary tonight, I want to be able to write that I went on the slide even though I was afraid of it, not that I didn’t go on the slide because I was afraid of it. That’s the kind of person I want to be.’ I felt awe-struck and speechless.

Curiously, we are often unaware of making choices, or deny to ourselves that we are making choices in order to avoid the responsibility that choice implies, and unaware of the underlying metaphysical world view we hold that both influences and is influenced by our choices. It’s as if we can live at a superficial level, sometimes choose to live at that level as a form of self  defence or life-coping mechanism. The problem is that if we only live at that level, we may fail to be who we can become in the world; deny ourselves and others a deeper and more fulfilling life experience; struggle with contact in intimate relationships; expend our time, energy and resources on distractions that aim to suppress or avoid facing the discomfort and anxiety that existential issues can evoke. 

One of the goals of existential coaching is therefore to raise world view and choice into awareness in order enable clients to live more authentic lives. It’s about enabling clients to acknowledge and deal with underlying anxiety, tensions and conflicts that could be experienced symptomatically in psychological, emotional, physical or relational difficulties or in problematic patterns of behaviour. Duerzen summarises this approach in Skills in Existential Counselling and Psychotherapy (2011) as, ‘to help people to get better at facing up to difficulties with courage instead of running away from them’. It necessarily involves a willingness to explore issues beneath the surface, a willingness to face anxiety and a willingness to explore alternative ways of being and acting in the world. 

This reminds me of a volunteer assignment I did with a Christian social worker and psychologist in Germany not long after the Berlin wall came down and East and West were reunified. We were working in a social work project with young people, often from fairly poor and dysfunctional family backgrounds, who were being seduced by the far right to join new neo-Nazi groups. The groups provided these young people with a much-needed sense of identity, belonging and purpose in the world. As part of his practice, the social worker would touch sensitively on spiritual issues and questions where it seemed appropriate. A secular humanistic colleague challenged him vehemently on this, insisting that social workers should never stray into the spirituality arena.

The social worker empathised with his colleague’s concerns about professional ethics and the risks of pressurising and indoctrinating vulnerable young people. At the same time, he believed that true spirituality speaks to life’s deepest questions, experiences and actions. The social worker responded, ‘These young people often talk in therapy about  their deepest fears, about life and death, issues that are very real for them. It’s often such fears that lead them to seek a sense of identity, security and purpose in these sinister groups.  We cannot afford to separate our thinking or our practice into neat, distinct, spheres of influence. The matters we and they are dealing with bring profound psychosocial, existential and spiritual issues face to face in the room.’ I agree.

So what could existential coaching look like in practice? Firstly, the coach will invite the client to share their story, particularly  focusing on issues that led them to work with a coach in the first place. The coach’s role at this stage is primarily to listen and, over time, to reflect back any beliefs and values that surface implicitly or explicitly in the client’s account, particularly in terms of how the client perceives themselves, others, issues and their situation. In this sense, the coach is acting as a sounding board and a mirror, enabling the client to grow in awareness of his or own world view. The coach will go on to focus on specific tensions that may emerge, e.g. between the client’s underlying beliefs and values and the stances or actions they are choosing in practice.

The intention here is to surface the client’s underlying personal and cultural metaphysic rather than simply his or her way of perceiving and responding to an immediate issue. This approach is based on a belief that the client’s general world view or stance-in-the-world will influence e.g. what issues the client perceives as significant; how they perceive, experience and evaluate them; what their subjective needs and aspirations are; what approaches and actions they will consider valid or appropriate; what actions they will be prepared to commit to and sustain etc. This approach also enables the client to explore any tensions within their world view, between that world view and those of others in their situation and between their world view and their actions.

The problem with the language of ‘world view’ in describing such an approach is that that it sounds too conscious, too cognitive, too coherent. The focus of existential coaching is profoundly subjective and phenomenological, that is, how the client actually experiences and responds to his or her being-in-the-world at the deepest psychological levels. In that sense, it’s as much about how a person feels, the questions they struggle with and what they sense intuitively as what they may think or believe rationally.  Again, there are important links for me with a spiritual dimension. As I faced my own health-related tests this week, for instance, I experienced my faith in God as something more like a subconscious, mysterious, inner ‘knowing’ than a rational assent to a set of beliefs.

As the coaching conversation progresses, the coach may help the client identify choices he or she is making (including by default), potential choices he or she could take in the future and how to integrate the client’s choices with his or her chosen being and stance in the world in order to live a more authentic and thereby less conflicted life. At one level, this enables the client to become more aware of and honest about their decisions and actions and to act with a greater sense of freedom and responsibility. At another level, it opens up more opportunities for the future than the client may have perceived previously. It can feel very liberating and energising to discover fresh ways of perceiving and acting in situations that have previously felt stuck or entrapping.

Sample coaching methods could involve helping the client reframe experiences as choices or to change their language from passive to active voice. For example, ‘I have to write this report for my boss by Friday’ or ‘This report needs to be written by Friday’ sound and feel less empowering than, ‘I will choose to write this report for my boss by Friday’. It enables the client to take ownership of their choices and to weigh up alternative courses of action. After all, if it’s a choice, I can choose differently, although I will need to weigh up the relative pros and cons of different choices. My best choices are congruent with my underlying beliefs and values, e.g. in this case, respect for authority, the sense of a job well done or a desire to keep my job so I can pay my bills.

The coach is likely to help the client connect their choices with their underlying world view. One way to approach this is to use the ‘7 whys’ technique whereby each time the client explains why they are choosing a certain course of action, the coach responds with, ‘…and why is that important to you?’ until the client’s deepest values, aspirations and anxieties surface. I will end this piece by posing some brief existential questions for personal reflection: Who am I? What personal stance do I want to take in the world? How do I handle contradiction, ambiguity, uncertainty and paradox? What is most important to me? What is God or this situation calling for from me? How consistent are my choices with my values? How well do my actions reflect the person I aspire to be?
77 Comments
Bridget
17/2/2013 10:26:42 am

Hi Nick

Wow, I found this blog really inspirational – especially the courage, faith and character that your daughter displayed at age 7!

I love the 7 “whys” technique – “why is this so important to you?” It feels as if it is getting to the nub of the desires and deep things that God has put in our hearts for a purpose.

I agree that it is easy to live life at a superficial level. Too often this is the product of life in the fast lane with no time to stop and ask “why” or not choosing to stop and ask ”why”?!

How scary to think that we may make such superficial choices that we never become the person we were meant to be..... and yet we have a Father we can trust to help us make daily courageous choices..... A lot to think & pray about......

Maybe being faced with our own mortality is not a bad thing... although I am so pleased that your results were OK!

B

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Nick Wright
17/2/2013 12:45:52 pm

Hi Bridget and thanks for such encouraging feedback. I agree with you that living life in the fast lane can lead to superficial contact with ourselves, with others and with the situations we encounter. I liked the way you rephrased to, 'not choosing to stop and ask why'. :)

Your comment about the possibility of never becoming the person we were meant to be resonates with some existentialist writers who see freedom and responsibility to choose as both a blessing and a curse. Sartre coined the phrase, 'condemned to be free'.

We are continually faced with so many choices in life that it can feel (a) burdensome or overwhelming to have to keep choosing and (b) anxiety-provoking because we often don't know what the 'right' choices are.

Perhaps therefore an additional and important existential question is how we learn to deal with our perceived or actual failures. I believe there is a spiritual dimension here too, e.g. our need to know, exercise and experience forgiveness to be and feel free.

With thanks again for such thought-provoking comments. Nick



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Geoffrey Morton-Haworth
18/2/2013 04:20:08 am

Another brilliant, thought-provoking contribution. I am a sailor and a clear night at sea (where there is no light pollution) does it for me every time. Very humbling.

Your existential moment reminded me of Barbara Ehrenreich pink teddy bears: http://www.vimeo.com/10454695

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Nick Wright
18/2/2013 12:18:27 pm

Hi Geoffrey and thanks for such encouraging feedback. Yes, the skies at night out at sea must be amazing. Thanks for sharing the link - looks interesting! With best wishes. Nick

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Farhan Baboojee
18/2/2013 04:21:55 am

Hi Nick,

As you have pointed out we all might have asked the same question in different ways and at different times “Why am I here” and “Where I need to get”. As mentioned these are from the choice we make, but sometimes these depend also in the situation you are in. All choices cannot have values as some choices are for survival.

The 7 year old daughter story really was very warm as I thought of my daughter, who once jumped in the pool when I told her, showing how much she trusted her dad.

A very inspirational and touching article.

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Nick Wright
18/2/2013 11:56:13 am

Hi Farhan and thanks for such encouraging feedback. Interesting that it brought back a special memory of your own daugher's trust in her dad too. :) Your comment that 'all choices cannot have values as some choices are for survival' raises interesting questions philosophically and psychologically.

Some would argue that even choices for survival represent a choice, as do choices made under duress. Perhaps the difference is that some choices are easier to make than others and that some choices have a broader scope of options available than others. What do you think? With best wishes. Nick

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Dr Billy Coop link
18/2/2013 06:51:01 am

Writer and scholar Joseph Campbell said, "I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive". Dr Billy Coop

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Nick Wright
18/2/2013 11:50:10 am

Hi Billy and thanks for sharing the quotation. Its emphasis on direct experience over rational sense-making certainly resonates with my understanding of existentialism. With best wishes. Nick

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Robin Harding
18/2/2013 09:03:29 am

Nick.
I found your piece very interesting and it resonates with me strongly. For the last few months I have also been going through a similar health related journey. I my case there was not an "OK" and over the next weeks I am lined up for radiotherapy followed by major surgery. I have lots of stories around my journey so far which I think are relevant but here is one of them. My surgeon and oncologist gave me a number of options for treatment, each one had differences in the risk of recurrence and the invasiveness of the surgery. The oncologist said to me "it is just a question of risk, how much are you prepared to accept". But this risk is about my life and in that circumstance how many of us would do other than select the option which gave the lowest risk and the best chance of a successful outcome? This was my decision to make and, perhaps surprisingly, it took me a little while to decide. Experiences such as this bring into sharp focus the way you see yourself and how you see the world around you. I was interested to listen to the musician Wilko who has been diagnosed with terminal cancer but who has refused treatment. He said that it is as if all the colours are suddenly much brighter and the difference between insignificant and significant is now easy to distinguish.
On a separate note I'm interested in where you see the overlap (if any) between existential coaching and counselling.

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Nick Wright
18/2/2013 12:36:15 pm

Hi Robin and thanks for courageously sharing such honest personal insights from the experience you are going through currently. I do hope the course of treatment you have chosen will prove successful and that you have good people around to support you.

I think your comments about experiences such as this bringing things into sharp focus - and Wilko's similar reflections on brightness of colours, distinguishing significant from insignificant etc - are very powerful and profound.

I once had a close friend whose sister lived through a terminal illness. I remember her saying similar things, that she had never seen her sister so alive, that her sister had paradoxically expressed how she had never felt so alive. Everything became so vivid.

It makes me wonder how dulled we can become in everyday life by routine, mundane experience. It's one reason why people who engage in extreme sports place themselves deliberately at risk, to feel fully alive when they are living at the edge.

You raise an interesting question about the overlap between existential coaching and counselling. I guess the main distinction may be that counselling typically has an explicit therapeutic or 'healing' intention and focus?

With thanks again, Robin, and very best wishes. Nick

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Pip Bruce Ferguson
18/2/2013 10:57:48 am

Hi Nick

First, I'm so glad that in your case the results were positive. I had an exploration of a possible cancer-related problem late last year so I do know the relief you're feeling, and the 'pause for thought' that such health-related issues brings up.

Also, I found the content of the blog very helpful and plan to copy it to some friends, one of whom is causing considerable interpersonal difficulties by not recognising this individual's tendency to attack unnecessarily. In my opinion it's psychic defence, arising from the individual's upbringing. I think what you've said articulates well what the issues are, although whether we have existential counsellors from a Christian perspective locally is another issue! Will have to investigate.

Finally, your process of 'why is that important to you?' reminds me of Kelly's 'laddering technique' in research, where the researcher asks an essentially similar question to get to the bottom of the interviewee's values and then works with the core values to help the person in their work.

Keep up the good work; I'm so pleased I joined up with this group!
Warm regards
Pip

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Nick Wright
18/2/2013 12:47:15 pm

Hi Pip and thanks for such encouraging feedback. I'm pleased you had positive results from your own health tests too. These things can be very sobering and unsettling and, as you say, a good cause for pause for thought.

Yes, the 'why is that important to you' technique is used in qualitative research such as Kelly's laddering. One of the important factors is to use it senstively so the client doesn't feel interrogated. It can evoke all kinds of defensive routines!

I would be interested to hear more of any experiences you have had of using this method, e.g. what the presenting issues were, how you applied the method, how the client responded, what fresh insights emerged etc. With best wishes. Nick

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Pam Billinge
18/2/2013 11:18:26 am

I very much enjoyed this piece of writing Nick.Thank you for sharing it. I'm right with you on the importance of learning how to be in the world before the "What" to be...and on finding a way to make responsible choices coming from the authentic self. I often describe it as finding "response - ability" as opposed to "responsibility". Its very much what I aim to support clients with, too, when they are working with my horses, who have this uncanny nack of connecting their subject with their essential self. I had not seen it in existential terms before so thank you for this piece of inspiration. Look forward to your next blog!
Pam

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Nick Wright
18/2/2013 12:53:50 pm

Hi Pam and thanks for such kind feedback. I liked your phasing of 'response-ability'. Could you say something more about how you approach developing increased response-ability with your clients? I was intrigued by your 'horses' comment too - can you say more? With best wishes. Nick

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Pam Billinge
20/2/2013 05:35:50 am

Hello Nick. of course - delighted to say some more. I engage clients in interaction with horses as the key learning modality both in my coaching and leadership practise and also therapeutically. I call it "horse-led leadership or learning" - because the horse and the relationship which clients develop with the horse is central to the whole unfolding process. It kind of works like this with respect to response-ability...........
So often in relationships and situations we find a way of blaming someone or something else for how things are, or how our life is. Even if we don't explicitly and consciously blame we might not accept responsibility for our part in causing things to be how they are. Even at a subtle level. Working with horses who have such finely tuned senses, and who don't hesitate to give very immediate and clear feedback, helps us to immediately see the impact on another being of how we are, how we think, how we feel or what we do. This enhanced level of awareness helps us to refine our response to the horse - who gives immediate feedback to our new response showing us how things can be if we take responsibility for not only our actions but how we choose to see, feel or interpret situations. By experimenting with different kinds of mental, emotional and spiritual response to the horse and seeing the impact on the relationship with the horse, also helps us to develop our response-ability "range".
You can probably get the gist from this, and why I felt a resonance with your writing, and in particular your very empowering stance on choice-making! All the best
Pam

Stephanie MacKellar
18/2/2013 11:19:46 am

Thought provoking as usual Nick - thank you for your contribtions. There is no hiding place with the 7-whys !

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Nick Wright
18/2/2013 01:00:11 pm

Hi Stephanie and thanks for the positive feedback. Yes, the 7-whys technique can be and feel very searching for the client. I guess the question as coach is how to invite, encourage and support the client to explore an issue at that depth and how to approach the inquiry in such a way that the client feels facilitated rather than interrogated. I would be very interested to hear more about any experiences you have had of using this technique. With best wishes. Nick

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Stephanie MacKellar
18/2/2013 11:55:46 pm

Hi Nick, I'm not sure if I've ever got to 7 unless it has been over the course of a whole coaching session but it has been useful in conjunction with Transactional Analysis when clients are exploring their Ego States. My clients find TA enlightening and extremely useful when thinking about facing difficult conversations or situations. The 7-Whys help them to see what is driving the behaviour.

Julie Blais
18/2/2013 11:21:06 am

Thank you for this thoughtful and thought provoking article! It brings to mind a notion I encountered many years ago, and that really resonated -Foucault's 'ascetic realization of the self'. (I don't remember the source, but I do remember it being part of a discussion of Baudelaire as quintessential modern man, so it may have been from the text ''What is Enlightenment?'', in response to Kant's famous answer to the same question.) 'Ascetic' refers to, I think, the discipline and focus required to consciously make the choices, from moment to moment, that will allow us to become who we choose to be in the world. The alternative being to abdicate our freedom and power (as in 'empowerment') by letting our past choices and unconscious programming to dictate our present realities -and as you mentioned, often out of fear of the responsibility for creating one's life and self. Yes!, the experience and acceptance of forgiveness for our failures would go a long way towards helping us face up to this responsibility and freedom.

I would love any recommendations for further reading or any sources on the matter. Thank you for reminding of me of all this and more!

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Nick Wright
18/2/2013 01:19:41 pm

Hi Julie and thanks for the thoughts and encouraging feedback. It sounds like you are quite a philosopher! I liked your contrast between making conscious choices moment by moment and letting our past choices and unconscious programming dictate our present realities. The former feels more free, responsible and intentional.

One of the challenges philosophically and psychologically is knowing what actually influences (or some would argue determines) what we experience phenomenologically as conscious and free choices. You may find this blog interesting: http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2011/02/whose-thoughts-am-i-thinking.html.

On this topic (what influences us, rather than existentialism), have you seen McRaney's 'You are Not so Smart' (2012) and Kahneman's 'Thinking Fast and Slow' (2012)?

On existentialism, you may find these related blogs interesting: http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2011/03/where-did-i-come-from.html; http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2011/07/dark-and-light.html. Let me know what you think? With best wishes. Nick

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Julie Blais
20/2/2013 05:37:56 am

Thanks for your response and the resources. Kahneman is on the list, for sure, and I'll have to look into McRaney. I'm looking forward to reading more of your thoughts, and sharing any inspirations in response. Best wishes to you, too!

Ferro Fabbri
18/2/2013 11:32:19 am

Ah...perhaps simply try to adopt the middle path...

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Nick Wright
18/2/2013 11:59:34 am

Hi Ferro. What is the middle path..? With best wishes. Nick

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Ferro Fabbri
18/2/2013 11:46:53 pm

the middle path is the buddhist view.
"Middle" means neutral, upright, and centered. It means to investigate and penetrate the core of life and all things with an upright, unbiased attitude. In order to solve a problem, we should position ourselves on neutral, upright and unbiased ground. We investigate the problem from various angles, analyze the findings, understand the truth thoroughly, and find a reasonable conclusion.'
generally, the answer is in ourselves and ll the coaching and prodding and reading in the world won't help unless you look at yourself...

Alex Smitjh
18/2/2013 01:25:49 pm

I really enjoyed this read. The last paragraph connected me with a recent coaching experience. My client was anxious about how she might cope with the complexity of a relationship at work and fears she held around the outcomes she perceived. She reported the most helpful part if our work was when she chose to focus on her intentionality / purpose for the relationship..only then could she hold the fears lightly and see a way ahead.. so is this notion of intentionality, clarity of purpose part of the 7whys? approach.
Alex.

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Nick Wright
18/2/2013 01:39:08 pm

Hi Alex and thanks for the note. I was interested to hear of your experience with the client and I like the way you draw a link with intentionality and purpose. The 7-whys technique could be used to help the client explore the beliefs and values that underpin her intentions and purpose. Does that answer your question? With best wishes. Nick

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Nick Wright
18/2/2013 11:53:25 pm

Hi Ferro and thanks for the helpful and thought-provoking explanation. As far as I understand it, existentialists would take a very different approach, preferring actively to embrace or dive into an experience directly in order to experience it fully rather than seeking to find a more objective-reflective stance. I would be interested to hear if you or others have any further thoughts on this. With best wishes. Nick

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Alison Knight
21/2/2013 07:25:38 am

Hi Nick
Glad to hear that you have had the all clear and hoping that your health remains good.
I would like to elaborate a little on Ferro's comments and maybe draw some paralells between Buddhism and an existential perspective.
I am attempting to draw on the lojong slogans which are organised around 7 points and contain 59 slogans that remind us how to awaken our hearts and are part of the Mahayana school of Buddhism which has a big emphasis on compassion with others but firstly starting with ourselves.
One such slogan is "when the world is filled with evil, transform all mishaps into the path of bodhi..". In this case the word 'bodhi' means enlightenment. It is commonly interpretted as using all unwanted and unfavourable circumstances in our lives to awaken our compassion and open our hearts. It is a good slogan for difficult times and reminds us that our path includes all experiences, both serene and chaotic. The idea is that we don't try to avoid all that is messy and chaotic in our lives and that we greet all that comes to our path in the same way. Potentially life altering events can often arouse strong emotional responses and bring up much negative effect - anger, fear, indignation and sometimes a sense of loss may all come our way. It is how we meet with these emotions and the thoughts that come with them that do more to define the 'buddhist' way or the path of bodhi. There is a need to cultivate both bravery and compassion for ourselves and not to judge or label our experience. The word 'equanimity' is often used to define this asking that we neither label any thought or experience as either 'good' or 'bad' and this applies very much to life altering ones as well. When faced with any such experience we are asked to take a curious stance and examine all that comes our way as Ferro has set out, '...we investigate the problem from various angles, analyze the findings, understand the truth thoroughly, and find a reasonable conclusion.....". Above all we use this to cultivate compassion for ourselves and for all that we face, be it fear, loathing or what ever is generated when we must face the fact that we are human and that our health is not always in our hands. Tonglen and meditation may be used to help examine the situation but as with what appears to the existentialist approach, there is no avoidance. The wish to "..actively.. embrace or dive into an experience directly in order to experience it fully..." are common to both approaches although the methods used to acheive this might be a little different.
Hope this helps a little.
A

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Nick Wright
21/2/2013 10:40:14 am

Hi Alison and thank you - I found your explanation very helpful. It reminded me of principles in mindfulness or acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). It also reminded me of a Taoist story I quoted in this article (see the section entitled, Wisdom as Perspective): http://www.nick-wright.com/word-to-the-wise.html, particularly the notion of avoiding labelling our experience as necessarily 'good' or 'bad'. I liked the emphasis on cultivating bravery and compassion. It reminded me of some short reflections I wrote on courage recently that attracted some very moving and profound responses: http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2012/11/a-couragous-spirit.html. With thanks and best wishes. Nick

Chelsey Chen
25/2/2013 08:55:29 am

Dear Alison and Nick,

This brings to mind a comment that I heard recently. Its not an unusual comment but I honestly think that it points to an incorrect theology found within the Church today. This person said after facing some struggles something along the lines of, "I can't help but wonder if God is punishing me. I need to re-evaluate whether I am in His will or not". First and foremost, thoughts like this question the forgiveness found in Christ. Secondly, it speaks to what I believe is an issue of entitlement in our culture in which we assume if we are doing "God's Will" everything will be provided for us in the way that we expect. It also touches on the health and wealth mentality of many churches today. However, I do not believe life is meant to be easy, in fact scripture speaks to us over and over again that struggles will come, whether because the enemy is out there causing bad things to happen or due to a "refining" process. Life is a journey full of good things and hard things and in order to enjoy it we must embrace and grow from that daily journey. Just like the slogan mentioned above, we are who we are by how we are (or are not) able to transform the bad things in life into positive things. If you live an entitled or a health and wealth lifestyle you are less likely to do so and more likely to blame God when things go bad.

Janet Brimson
20/2/2013 05:32:04 am

That is a wonderful post Nick, hope you are now well and continue to be so. Authenticity at the individual (and more challenging at the enterprise level) is so important and needed at this time. Needless to say those 7 year old's are hear to certainly challenge our perspectives - daily. My work comes from a similar perspective and I am finding it so rewarding for the clients, challenging for some markets but also a clearly understood and growing area of need. I look forward to hearing more about your living and your consulting insights.

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Nick Wright
21/2/2013 12:20:12 am

Hi Janet and thank you for such encouraging feedback. I would be verý interested to hear more about your work with clients from a similar perspective. Do you have any examples you could share, e.g. what the presenting issue was, how you worked with the client, what underlying issues emerged, what happened as a result? With thanks and best wishes. Nick

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Janet Brimson
22/2/2013 01:59:38 am

I work with organisations and individuals. Last year I worked with a new age practitioner to help him get a better sense of what he is trying to do and to plan to achieve from a business perspective. This is a man that has spent his life working on healing himself through his studies and his practice. Having a successful business in the new age space is often a challenge and birthing new practices even more so. To get him where he wanted to go in business I took him through my Corporate Therapy core process – 3 testing tools which help me elicit some of the life story, some of the ‘current state’ and a sense of their essence and then we work together. From the testing I get to see patterns from the past, current discomforts and through the essence test I get a bit of a gap analysis which I then explore with them. So in this case it was clear, the client had gone through life ‘without help’, not because it wasn’t offered but because due to parental messaging he assumed his life would be tarnished with failure so even when it was offered he refused to take it. The experiences he had chosen reinforced this belief, his reading of the experience was also overly negative and critical of himself and totally framed in old school paradigms of ‘career ladders are for climbing’. So I worked through pointed out there was parental closure that still needed unpacking – he thought he had healed it and was quite surprised how much hold was still there. That his interpretation of the work situation was actually not accurate. I showed him his work choices had to date been an easy way out but also a neat little apprenticeship. That now he was living something much more aligned to his true essence and then we unpacked lots of ideas he could use to tune and grow the business (about 30-40 new ways to network, market and grow). He chose 3 from the list and his business doubled within a couple of weeks. From one of the networking choices he was able to keep increasing and growing it and is now trusting his own abilities far more.

Trine Moore
22/2/2013 02:00:35 am

great post janet...and i look forward to learning from the experience myself.

thanks

Nick Wright
22/2/2013 02:05:09 am

Hi Janet and thanks for sharing such a great and vivid example. Some aspects of the issue you identified and the way you approached it reminded me of 'script' work in transactional analysis. You may find this short piece interesting? http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2011/12/whats-your-story.html. Would be very interested to hear what you think. With best wishes. Nick

Trine Moore
20/2/2013 05:35:01 am

" Authenticity at the individual (and more challenging at the enterprise level) is so important and needed at this time"

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Nick Wright
20/2/2013 11:56:49 pm

Hi Trine. Sounds like you agree with Janet´s view? Best wishes. Nick

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Lynn Howell Macwhinnie
20/2/2013 05:36:58 am

Thank you Nick. Another thought-provoking and beautifully expressed piece. Recommended reading to anyone giving or receiving coaching, or even thinking about it.

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Nick Wright
20/2/2013 11:58:31 pm

Thanks for your kind feedback, Lynn. Much appreciated. With best wishes. Nick

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Daphne MacNeil
20/2/2013 05:38:40 am

Existential coaching, interesting. How does one become an 'Existential Coach'.

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Nick Wright
21/2/2013 12:17:02 am

Hi Daphne. What a great question! At one level it would be to train as an existential coach. There are quite a few advertised on the web ranging from introductory workshops to masters programmes. At another level, it would entail a willingness to explore one's own beliefs, values and worldview, to decide what stance I will choose to take in relation to myself, others (including my clients) and life in general. It would entail being authentic with the client, being prepared to struggle with existential issues alongside the client and to behave in a way that's congruent with my beliefs and stance. In my experience, it sometimes demands courage to face and work through existential issues as a coach and with clients. It can touch on deeply-held beliefs, hopes and fears for both parties. Having a suitable coaching supervisor can help maintain awareness, congruence and professional practice. Does that answer the question? I would be interested to hear if you or others have any other insights or experiences to share on this point. With best wishes. Nick

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Janet Brimson
22/2/2013 03:55:47 am

Nick were you originally trained as a writer or did you come to writing?

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Nick Wright
22/2/2013 03:56:19 am

Hi Janet. I haven't trained as a writer but I do enjoy writing as a way of exploring and expressing ideas. Was there a question behind your question? With best wishes. Nick

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Janet Brimson
22/2/2013 04:36:39 am

I was writing from very early in my life, poems etc, and I have two writing degrees. It is my storytelling skills that I use to read corporate cultures and peoples individual stories and check the logic, continuity, wrong character weighting (eg. over attributing to someone who is not worth it), language give aways etc. I was sensing a synergy between your experiences and hoping background as I rarely come across anyone with a background like mine in my two markets (1. ICT , 2. Cultural and individual career change)

Nick Wright
22/2/2013 04:38:06 am

Hi Janet. Your storytelling approach sounds fascinating. Could you say something more about how you apply it in practice, perhaps with a specific example? With thanks and best wishes. Nick

Janet Brimson
23/2/2013 01:10:52 am

One technique I use is when I walk into an organisation I start to read it like a story. A good fiction has character hierarchies, it has a setting with parameters which influence behaviour and belief, it has conventions for reward/inclusion and punishment/exclusion (formal and informal), and the best fictions have an authentic and unique voice. As a fiction lecturer, if I am marking your story I will point out inconsistencies in your own logic, subversion of character, paradigm changes, boundary rearrangement to facilitate outcomes (which breaks the authenticity of the story), inauthentic voices (words that the character you established would never use).

I start listening and observing the organisation in the same way. I hear if what is being said dislocates from what is being done. This can be through interviews, observation and through systems. I begin to report on what I see/hear eg. “culturally there is a high reluctance to share outcomes”, “conversations are driven by systems language rather than service outcome language”. I map some of the stories (an older example of these is available here http://www.egov.vic.gov.au/pdfs/CRRS07Profilesfinal.PDF )and show what is positive versus negative (POSITIVES: knowledge shared with others, leadership stable, feedback on performance alive and in real time - NEGATIVES: low client satisfaction, lost service centre fulfilment, issues with trust in processes, communication needs work, succession management issues). Then with the org we work on a new vision, new messaging (ie. comms, taxonomy design, imprint branding or brand consolidation) and develop change strategies and a program of work to build the story they want to tell and be.

I have two companies and wear two hats – I am an Enterprise Information Architect in the IT world in one and Corporate Therapist in the other. I use the same techniques in both roles – in the IT one I hear what people think is wrong, look into the systems, business processes, information being used and stored and see more of the DNA of what is taking place. These worlds form in 3D for me. I see the holes, the overlaps, the concordant and discordant voices etc. EG. I redesigned a large government department taking apart their ‘one’ world and forming ‘2200’ new worlds to better facilitate what they were doing. In the one world model no one could find anything, there was duplication and the content was ‘neutralised, out of context. It had become a dumping ground. In the 2200 model everyone enters a world tailored to their business day - a contextual planet, branch specific branding, access to core info but also a place to further personalise info and business processes. These were relevant and pulled from a single data source so duplication was stopped. The individual only entered the world relevant to them – pre-mapped. They didn’t need to guess which world they needed to enter, they gained efficiencies, trust and better supported the individual. the vision was more complex than the reality. Only a small core IT group are required to maintain the patterned logic (micro stories) of these 2200 microcosms - the patterns build on each other and offer recombination opportunities to match to new needs. For the users it is all about simplification.

I use stories, diagrams, mapping, video all sorts of aids to communicate what is going on through these journeys, focussing on ensuring stakeholders get the dimensionality of what is taking place. I am not sure if this is the best exemplar but I think I need a bigger text block to show (rather than tell) what takes place.

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Nick Wright
23/2/2013 01:20:16 am

Hi Janet and thanks for sharing such an interesting, creative and thought-provoking approach. I like the way you describe how people in organisations construct their story or 'narrative' and how your approach involves reading the organisation like a story. I also really like how you use a variety of media to help people see, understand, engage with and potentially rework or reframe their own story. Your process of critical analysis sounds quite sophisticated! The notion of story reminded me of some reflections I wrote on a blog touching on personal construct psychology: http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2011/02/a-constructed-reality.html. I would be interested to hear if has any resonances for you with the approach you described. With best wishes and thanks again. Nick

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Geoffrey Morton-Haworth
23/2/2013 10:23:18 am

Fantastic stuff, Janet. I am in awe and reminded yet again of the immense value of straddling two quite different but complementary disciplines.

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Janet Brimson
24/2/2013 12:22:25 am

You are not the only one Geoffrey, I spend more time wondering how I ended up doing this. I have struggled personally to reconcile my passion for writing with where I ended up in the IT world and where I want to be with the Corporate Therapy. I fought to keep the world apart (in my own mind - so I could feel I was truly stepping out and away from one and into something new), but the more I delve the more I see how similar they are.

Geoffrey Morton-Haworth
24/2/2013 12:58:10 am

Hi Janet. Writing - for me - is a process of discovery. This doesn't happen in the writing itself, but in the rewriting, each time struggling to find the central thought. I have been writing and rewriting software in a similar way. It really makes you think. But I don't find many people who like to do that.

Nick Wright
24/2/2013 01:02:41 am

Hi Geoffrey. The experience you describe so vividly is very much the same for me. Writing feels at times like an exciting journey of discovery. I rarely know exactly what I think, except perhaps for some vague notion or sense of inspiration, before I begin to write. It's as if by writing and struggling with the thoughts, ideas and words, something new and clearer emerges. In this sense, I find writing cathartic, catalytic and crystallising. With best wishes. Nick

Geoffrey Morton-Haworth
24/2/2013 11:13:49 am

Nick. Yeah. Writing (like talking) puts us in touch with ourselves. Sometimes it is a bit alarming to look back on an old piece and recognize how confused your thinking was. At other times, it is quite amazing when you review your work and think to yourself: "actually that is very good, where did all that come from?" They key to rapid application in software is the willingness to ditch old code, likewise maybe the key to writing is willingness to change your mind.

A couple of years ago there was a great post on The School of Life blog (whose URL seems to have changed) that made the point:

In a plural world, such as ours – a place in which today you will bump into people who think exactly the opposite to you, on everything from the taste of Marmite to the veracity of God – it is easy to value constancy. Hence, the media pillories politicians who bend their policies, and to admit to compromise is to utter your own condemnation. ‘Here I stand, I can do no other,’ is the statement attributed to Martin Luther which has set the standard of personal integrity for the modern world. Be like a rock, or the northern star: unchanging.

And yet, isn’t changing your mind actually more virtuous? Is it not more honest and harder, though wiser, to be prepared to change as you assess and weigh the rich variety of opinion and experience that surrounds you, on the tube or the bus?

There was an ancient philosopher who made change his leitmotif. Bion of Borysthenes seemed destined for a life of obscurity, not least when he was sold into slavery. But gradually, he educated himself. He made his way to Athens and, one by one, sat at the feet of the different thinkers of his day – the Platonists, the Stoics, the Cynics. He wanted to understand how they each think, in that deep sense of, ‘I see what you mean.’ Only then might he make up his own mind. He is remembered now for inventing a practice called the diatribe. We’ve perverted his art, as today, a diatribe is a verbal attack against a foe. But Bion originally meant it to be a way of critiquing your own assumptions. For him, the best diatribes are directed against yourself. They put your own ideas to the test. You stand in your opponent’s shoes and test what of worth is found in their point of view. Why? Because it is expansive of your humanity, and you might change for the better as a result. He was accused of being a flip-flopper, and shifty.

People don’t like individuals who are informed and change, because they threaten their own beliefs. But think of individuals who refuse to change their mind. Don’t we have a shorthand for them: fundamentalists? They seem inhumane as a result. So fear not. Change your mind. ‘To live is to change, and to be perfect is to have changed often,’ remarked John Henry Newman. And he’s about to be made a saint, when the Pope comes to visit in the autumn.

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Janet Brimson
24/2/2013 11:14:32 am

I love it when you find something you have written which you've forgotten and it blows your mind.

Changing thought/paradigms/boundaries is critical to learning and being in the life flow. If you are not challenging yourself mentally or from the heart - you are likely building your own mental stasis or even worse a mental cage.

I believe, it is important to maintain a toolkit of beliefs/principles to guide your investigation. There should be enough principles in the kitbag at any one time to create an infinite recombinant universe of ideas and you should be able to add new ones or drop ones that no longer serve along the way.

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Nick Wright
1/3/2013 12:51:59 am

Hi Janet. I really liked your comment, 'I love it when you find something you have written which you've forgotten and it blows your mind'. I've had that experience from time to time, including occasions when I've rediscovered things I had forgotten I ever knew in the first place. Sometimes, for me, it feels quite mysterious and I wonder about God's guiding hand. At other times, I realise I've simply become preoccupied by other things and my life and thoughts have taken a different path. Your reference to a mental cage reminded me of comments by Gareth Morgan that I refer to in a related blog you may find interesting? http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2012/07/social-construct-coaching.html. With best wishes. Nick

Nick Wright
1/3/2013 12:41:45 am

Hi Geoffrey and thanks for sharing such inspiring reflections. Your comments about looking back at things you have written previously and what you notice about them/how you feel about them now is very resonant for me too. I'm sometimes surprised to see how far my ideas have changed or developed over time and, at other times, how consistent they have remained.

It's one of those tricky things whenever I put thoughts down on paper, in a blog, an article or whatever. I sometimes want to put a disclaimer along the lines of: 'These are my best thoughts to date' or 'This is the sense I've made of things so far' - a bit like a big 'draft' stamp on anything I write. :) 'Please take everything I say as provisional, a point in time on a learning journey.'

But I don't mind, really. The most enriching part of writing blogs or articles for me is the depth and diversity of comments that people post in response. Your story of Bion reminds me of similar stories of Socrates. It takes courage and humility to deliberately seek out ideas, opinions, evidence and experiences that question and stress test what we believe and the stances we take in life.

I think the challenge is creates in a pluralistic world where, as you say, we encounter difference at every turn, is to discover, create and hold onto our core beliefs and values with integrity whilst, at the same time, to be open to newness, difference and renewal. Great quotation from Newman, by the way - I really like it. With thanks again for expressing these thoughts and ideas so well. Nick

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Carter McNamara MBA PhD
24/2/2013 11:15:25 am

Nick, thank you for reminding us of the contributions of the existential movement -- probably one of the most misunderstood "schools" of philosophy, yet one of the most influential.

The tenets of Existentialist philosophers (religious and atheist) and psychologists (Rollo May, Carol Rogers, Otto Rank) are the foundations from which many of our current movements and fields are based, e.g., self-directed therapies, personal and professional coaching, collaborative consulting, etc.

One of my biggest concerns about leadership development is based on the existentialist principle of "bad faith."

The existential movement describes "bad faith" as not living an authentic life, of trying to avoid the responsibilities and realities of life by, e.g., addictions, fantasies, lies, seeking saviors, etc. The movement asserts that, if a person does not live an authentic life, then he/he falls into chronic anxiety, boredom and despair.

Are many leadership development programs being inauthentic? I wonder. I'll try explain.

A very popular current movement in leadership development is heroic leadership. Discussions about this type of leader can go on and on and on about the many wondrous, virtuous traits of what leaders should be today. If Christ came as the Second Coming today, he would struggle to show all of the traits that we seek in today's leaders.

In the 1970s, my generation used to engage in "rap sessions" about the world, many times about what a perfect world should be. Many of us began to wonder if those discussions weren't so much about making the world better, as much as helping many of us to avoid the realities of living in the world. (I've written more about this at http://bit.ly/9nZyW0 .)

In our discussions (fantasies) about heroic leaders, are we really trying to avoid the realities of work? (Buddhists assert that sometimes we have to "chop wood and carry water". Are we trying to avoid that drudgery?)

NOTE: I'm not seeking to hear more wonderful traits that leaders should have (which is typically the response that I get to this post). Rather, I'm seeking a critique on the effects of listing the many wondrous traits that leaders should have :-)

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Geoffrey Morton-Haworth
24/2/2013 11:16:08 am

Hm. Very interesting. Carter. You talk about authenticity. I might have called that integrity.

I look at those of my former colleagues at McKinsey who have now ascended to the realms of "the great and the good", and they are most certainly neither great nor good. And in fact have done terrible damage to our societies.

I very much agree with you that most of the leadership development notions pushed by coaches and consultants are nonsense.

Instead I like the way that Philip Zimbardo (a Professor of Psychology at Stanford University) puts it. He believes that true heroism is banal and not the exclusive realm of mostly fictional super-heroes. For example, he cites Wesley Autrey, the 50-year old African-American construction worker who saved the life of a young man who had fallen on the train tracks after a seizure. While 75 others passively watched, Autrey handed his two daughters over to a stranger and jumped down to save someone he did not know from death or dismemberment by an oncoming subway train. “I did what anyone would do, I did what everyone ought to do,” were Autrey’s classic ordinary hero lines.

Cultivating the heroic imagination, says Zimbardo, takes just two things:

First, thinking of yourself as an active person rather than a passive person, as somebody willing to get involved, ready to move off the safety spot of minding your own business, prepared to take a decisive action when the world around you looks the other way.

Second, thinking less about yourself, your ego, your reputation, less about looking foolish, making a mistake, upsetting someone’ s apple cart, and instead becoming “socio-centric” – more concerned for the well-being of others or upholding a moral imperative.

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Carter McNamara MBA PhD
24/2/2013 11:16:48 am

Thanks for the comments, Geoffrey.

I think "authenticity" is another concept that we've glamorized and idealized -- ironically, to the extent that it's difficult to be authentic anymore :-)

For example, especially in the field of coaching and leadership, "authenticity" seems to mean always being centered in one's skin, having constant integrity, continual compassion, etc. Authenticity seems hardly within the reach of most people!

In contrast, Kierkegaard and other existentialists believed the authenticity is being honest and respectfully direct in the moment -- with oneself and others. A person can be extremely angry at a situation or a person, and still be authentic. Anyone can authentic.

In contrast, many of today's practitioners might believe that that person is not being authentic because ... well, he isn't remaining balanced and poised -- and compassionate with the other person. Arghhh.

Geoffrey, you point out another aspect of existentialism -- of taking actions in one's life, rather than continually taking refuge behind very safe analysis and dialogue. Sartre suggested a foundational principle behind existentialism, "existence before essence" -- you make of your life what it is, not someone else. You are responsible for your life.

Geoffrey, you make another point -- thinking less about yourself. That point is why I have such strong regard for Eastern philosophies. In our Western culture, we take refuge in our heads -- and in our continually fantasizing about the heroic people who will save us from the realities and responsibilities of living.

Nick Wright
1/3/2013 05:03:44 am

Hi Geoffrey. I liked your Autrey example and the notion of 'cultivating the heroic imagination'. It reminded me of a blog I posted recently on courage: http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2012/11/a-couragous-spirit.html. The responses I received were fascinating...partly because of the different cultural perspectives and partly because, on this topic, the majority of responses were from women. I wondered if this was a counter to a typical macho-male concept of heroic leadership. Would be interested to hear what you make of it. With best wishes. Nick

Nick Wright
1/3/2013 12:59:34 am

Hi Carter and thanks for posting such though-provoking comments about bad faith and heroic leadership. I struggle with similar questions and concerns, some of which I tried to articulate in these blogs: http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2011/02/qualities-of-leadership.html; http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2011/02/leadership-as-transformational-dynamic.html; http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2011/02/more-leadership-musings.html; http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2011/02/and-more-leadership-musings.html. I would be very interested to hear what you think. I'll definitely have a look at your link - thank you. It reminded me of the old Coca Cola song, 'I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony'. An idealisation that, perhaps, avoids the real-world struggles in life and work that you describe. With best wishes. Nick

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Carter McNamara MBA PhD
2/3/2013 02:55:49 am

Nick, I read your four posts that you included in your comment above.

You make good points that a) the quest to define leadership traits can become so reductionistic that we lose the essence of leadership; and b) is it the minister to has led, when a congregation responds positively to the minister, or did both lead, or did the congregation lead?

I especially liked your sentence "In other words, as a follower I am the only one who can legitimately apply the label leadership to what I experienced in my own psychological processes as a result of what you the leader did, how you were, what happened between us."

Carter McNamara MBA PhD
2/3/2013 02:59:25 am

It seems that the field of leadership is more interesting -- even enthralling -- to more people than ever before. I appreciate the numerous and wide opinions about leadership.

Many of the recent opinions about leadership are really "old wine in new skins." That comment is not to negatively criticize the opinions, not at all.

However, I remind readers that there's been decades of research, theories, models and "schools" in the field of leadership over the years.

It seems that, despite, the explosion of interest in leadership, few people are interested in actually exploring the field of leadership :-)

I invite to scan the Sections of leadership on the page at
http://managementhelp.org/leadership/index.htm

Nick Wright
2/3/2013 03:00:50 am

Hi Carter. Thanks for the encouraging feedback on the 'leadership' blogs and for sharing the link to such a rich resource on the Free Management Library website. With best wishes. Nick

Geoffrey Morton-Haworth
25/2/2013 12:18:05 am

All very good points, Carter. And that puts me in mind of another of my erstwhile mentor Ioan's teachings. Slightly paraphrased, he asks:

Don’t we all need firm ground under our feet? Shouldn’t we guard our sturdy roots and reliable traditions? Oughtn’t we build homes, sweet homes, with solid walls and foundations to withstand adversity?

Unfortunately, no ramparts resist the water that surges when change floods and the wheels of History start to move. The cement that attaches the building to its underpinnings is its very weakness and demise.

To prepare for times of change, I recall the Hagakure, the book of the Samurai from old: “When the water rises, so does the boat.” This is what I understand by this: instead of bracing yourself to stay where you are, have an open plan, as simple as a cork; be ready to float and rise wherever the water will take you.

This means among other subtle things, that you should not plan in this or that situation to defend a fixed position; but plan instead what you will pursue in any conditions to keep afloat and to sail, with your purpose, your values and your integrity intact.

Fluctuat nec mergitur... Curiously, in unfavourable times, the more you are flexible as seen from outside, the more you can be unyielding at the core. I have seen those who do the opposite, quickly broken. (Ioan is here reflecting on his terrible youth in Nicolae Ceaușescu's Romania but this wisdom is perhaps even more pertinent today, as documented in Ai Weiwei's "Never sorry").

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Nick Wright
1/3/2013 05:18:40 am

Hi Geoffrey. I was interested to read your stimulating comments and reflections from your conversations with Ioan. I like the idea of keeping afloat and sailing with purpose, values and integrity intact. It can provide a healthy and more free-feeling contrast to defending fixed positions. At the same time, I can find this quite difficult to do in practice, especially when it comes to questions of deep beliefs and convictions.

I've found insights from social constructionism helpful in this area, recognising that my beliefs and convictions are important to me, even 'true' and 'real' in some sense, and yet the constructs I use to articulate and make sense of them rationally are always a product of language and culture. So, for instance, when I think of God, I can hold onto the belief in his reality whilst holding specific religious constructs lightly.

This helps me to take a stance in the world that feels important to me, that enables me to act with integrity as far as I can on the basis of my convictions, whilst being open to hear others and to explore alternative constructs. It's a struggle to express this well in words. Does it make any sense to you? With best wishes. Nick

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Carter McNamara MBA PhD
1/3/2013 05:20:43 am

Geoffrey, your post of Ioan's teaching is beautiful.

It's very timely for me because, I like to think of myself as yielding when I should and standing on my values, but I too often solidify my armaments and "attack" what I see as destructive or wrong. As a result, I too often build strawmen and then tear them down.

I named my company, Authenticity Consulting, many years ago, to remind myself to work from the existentialist perspective of authenticity -- to be as honest with myself and others as I respectfully can, to take responsibility for myself, and to act in the world.

Thank you for the wise words.

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Nick Wright
1/3/2013 05:23:31 am

Hi Carter. I think you expressed that beautifully too. I can identify so well with the struggle you described so honestly. Authenticity Consulting - what a great name and ethos. With best wishes. Nick

David Noer
3/3/2013 04:24:57 am

Nick,
An exceptionally clear and useful piece. I’ve been toying with the idea of writing a book on existential leadership but have been struggling with how to help leaders develop an understanding of existential anxiety and despair before they incorporate existential coaching skills into their leadership process. It’s really difficult to find the correct language and fit it into a corporate environment.

I think the best leaders have found ways to make a leap of faith from a deep awareness of their personal existential void into a helping relationship and a positive perspective for those they lead.

I’m still processing all this but I was glad to find your blog and appreciate your way of explaining existential coaching.

Thanks.

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Nick Wright
3/3/2013 04:44:12 am

Hi David. Thanks for your affirming feedback and for sharing such thought-provoking ideas. I would love to hear more about your insights into existential leadership. My sense is that existential perspectives and experiences can provide a valuable and enriching, albeit sometimes anxiety-provoking, reality check for leaders and organisations. For example: 'The way to value life, the way to feel compassion for others, the way to love anything with greatest depth is to be aware that these experiences are destined to be lost.' (Nash & Murray, 2010). It reminds me of some teachings of St Ignatius in the 16th century. It's something about keeping life and meaning before us, acting with integrity and not losing sight of the things that matter most. With thanks and best wishes. Nick

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Janet Brimson
3/3/2013 04:46:58 am

OK I caught up on the read (above) and it got me thinking.

Like Carter, I struggle with traditional, western leadership theory. To me leadership is not about senior executives. Leadership (like integrity and authenticity) is a quality that everyone in an organisation should be empowered to have, hold and use. I believe Senior Exec are just wrongly titled, they are not necessarily leading anything in the business, they are in a role and may have stewardship of a greater aspect of business energy. EG. A senior number cruncher is not necessarily leading unless they have been empowered to challenge the interpretations of those numbers on your behalf and act on them.

My first job was at McDonalds. It was fun, a great intro to working life but also later showed me how I took the way in which they trained us in work ethics and leadership for granted. 3 companies later when I hit an organisation with no systems and a fragile sense of identity I realised how good process, empowerment and knowing your task and purpose was.

At Maccas they trained us to lead in every role, to take control of that role, to feel we were able to make decisions in that role and to call upon others as required in order to accomplish the goal of delivering exceptional customer service. The Managers had different responsibilities not “greater leadership”. If the shift was busy the manager fell in behind you and took your directions and leadership in order to serve. Leadership was fluid and goal-oriented with guidelines for custodianship of that transaction in that moment.

Back to traditional “leaders”, many “C” class are not ‘leading’ – directly contributing to the strategic goals of the organisation. Many delegate their ideas of leading to the middle managers and buy a vision from a consultant. Good ‘C’’s in the traditional sense are best at holding middle managers to account, middle managers team and staff – and so on into the microcosm. Thought leaders often struggle to get promoted, as the traditional leadership ladder does not cater for their ways of thinking and acting; and the action heroes are usually on the front line getting on with the job.

So what is leadership? Is it setting a direction or keeping you on course? Is the leader the visionary theoretician, the map maker, or the actual person who takes hold of the ships wheel or ensure the sails are properly trimmed to propel the whole business forward? Or is leadership the group energy of the combined individual empowerment of the whole crew synergising moment to moment to pull smoothly out of the harbour and safely reach their destination?

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Geoffrey Morton-Haworth
3/3/2013 04:47:49 am

Janet. Well said. Loud cheers from these sidelines. Many (but not all) of my "leaders" have been jerks! I quite like the idea of the leader as learner.

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Nick Wright
3/3/2013 05:02:49 am

What great insights and questions on leadership, Janet. I too have worked in organisations where leadership has been highly centralised or highly dispersed. I particularly like the notion of personal leadership, where each person holds him or herself accountable for being proactive, contributing, influencing etc.

The organisations I've worked in that have attracted and developed people and teams that demonstrate high qualities of personal leadership, where 'formal' leaders listen, guide and facilitate rather than direct and control, have definitely felt the most inspiring for me and have generally proved more effective and impacting.

In one example, the formal leadership team reached agreement with people throughout the organisation to ban language such as director, manager and supervisor and, instead, to replace it with leader, team member etc. It also invested in a 12-month training programme with everyone involved to make the culture shift.

I can honestly say I've never experienced anything quite like it. It felt liberating, motivating and exhilirating. The quality of contribution that people made was creative and enriching. The organisation was an international charity with high levels of intrinsic motivation. The new culture released energy and potential to achieve real change.

I wonder therefore about the relationship between leadership ethos and style, organisation type and culture and specific circumstances and what the optimal relationship is between them. Even within the charity I mention, there were times (e.g. disaster response) where a more directive leadership style was called for and widely supported.

I would be interested to hear if you or others have any further thoughts on this. With best wishes and thanks again. Nick

Reply
Janet Brimson
4/3/2013 12:38:57 am

In Mastering the Rockefeller Habits, Verne Harnish thinks you should work on 3 types of org charts:

1. an Accountability Chart (with no ‘to be filled’ or ‘acting’ roles) – either you are or you are not
2. a set of org charts mapping work processes or workflow
3. the Almost Matrix – mapping the relationship between org function and the various business units.

Ideally for me as an Enterprise Architect, I would like to see No.2 in a fair amount of detail (and often find it missing completely in orgs). I have walked into one of the top 5 biggest Government departments in Australia (50-100K staff) and found no business process mapping, no definable functional backbone or process consistency – and that was scary. For something that large to actually still be functioning (and seriously it barely was) is very disconcerting. Let alone how many opportunities for process improvement, cost savings etc. going to waste.

Personally I would like to see many more dislocations in business modelling towards a holistic beast – eg. keep accountability, operational and strategic lines parallel to business intelligence lines - you move forward together not feed into one another delaying the outcomes. Think of it as different systems working harmoniously to form one body like your nervous and digestive systems. Everyone should be trained, supported and encouraged in the fundamentals such as leadership, good communication skills and getting a proper understanding of the business not just where their role starts and stops.

The biggest gap that is hurting lots of my clients at the moment (and is my current pet peeve) is recognising that just because you speak English or did English at school does not qualify you as an Information or Knowledge worker. If you want to get control of the information overload, respect what being an information worker actually means and empower everyone at every level with skills & Governance to create, manage, archive or dispose of information in a really high quality way. You wouldn't let burgers go out looking all different so stop thinking information is invisible and make sure it is getting standardised and respected in a similar way.

Reply
Janet Brimson
7/3/2013 03:54:27 am

This came up today in AUS news - reflective of our conversations around leadership and everyone being a leader
http://www.news.com.au/business/worklife/lessons-all-bosses-could-learn-from-the-cherokee-nation/story-e6frfm9r-1226592497099

Reply
Nick Wright
7/3/2013 11:44:33 pm

Hi Janet and thanks for sharing the link. I particularly liked the comment: 'Chief Smith's model is based on a traditional Cherokee prayer - 'to learn from all I observe' - which encourages learning from different perspectives as the sun moves across the sky from sunrise to sunset. That came from the concept that if you got up in the morning to watch the sunrise, the sun would illuminate some aspects of the objects around you and cast shadows on others. Your perspective would change as the line of the sun would change.' I found that vivid and inspiring! :) With best wishes. Nick

Reply
english training centers link
23/3/2014 10:24:04 pm

Col’s Calibre, the market leader in Coimbatore is the ‘BRAIN CHILD’ of Col.P. Jeyaraj who has more than 30 years of experience in ‘Training and Development’ activities.

Reply
mangarockapk.info link
7/9/2018 01:14:29 pm

Nice post. I learn something more challenging on different blogs everyday. It will always be stimulating to read content from other writers and practice a little something from their store.

Reply



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