The power of presence

23/2/2013

I spent this week with a Christian social worker friend in South Germany. At one point, we visited a project for older people who want to learn how to use new technologies. The project is led by a group of volunteers from a similar age group who act as trainers, mentors and advisers. This friend who manages the initiative entered the room, smiled and said hello to the group, introduced me then walked around the room, purposefully shaking hands and greeting every person individually with genuine warmth.

The thing that struck me most was his profoundly-felt presence in the room. He has an unusual talent for standing, moving and gazing in such a way that demonstrates he is really here and really now. It communicates a deep sense of being and being-with that extends beyond words. The act of shaking hands, of physical contact, felt more than a cultural ritual and created a profound sense of emotional and relational contact with the group. I felt spell bound by this person, this quiet charisma, this dynamic he evoked.

It’s a sharp contrast with an approach to leadership, coaching or training that relies purely on professional competence or expertise. It’s so easy to lose contact with ourselves, God and others in the midst of the business of the day. We can become so preoccupied with a task that we lose sight of what really matters at a deeper human-spiritual level. As I watched this friend and felt his presence, I was reminded of words from the Bible: if I’m clever, competent and successful but do not love, I am nothing. (my paraphrase)

So my challenge as I return to England is to reflect more on my presence; to have a clearer and more focused sense of my deepest beliefs and values; to take a more intentional and resolute stance in relation to others that demonstrates love, warmth, care and authenticity. I want to be more aware of when I behave in professional mode but lose sight of a person or group; when I allow myself to get so busy, so task-focused that I lose sight of my own and others’ humanity. In short, I want to be more like Jesus.

135 Comments

Peter

23/2/2013 02:19:55 pm

Thanks Nick for this thoughtful reflection.

Courine

24/2/2013 12:36:12 am

I really liked your reflective experience. Explicitly focussing on the professional side of your presence and impact is what some would always focus on forgetting that this can often be a little mechanical and distant. Thanks for highlighting the loss of impact some can make through their approach.

Nick Wright

24/2/2013 12:47:03 am

Hi Courine and thanks for the note. Yes, it's a shame that in some schools of thought, to be 'professional' is to depersonalise and thereby dehumanise the relationship. It's as if the only significant factors in the relationship are expertise and competence.

Recent developments in health care are challenging this assumption, e.g. including some studies that show how, in some cases, psychosocial/relational support can have as much influence as medical interventions on patient recovery.

With thanks for your feedback, and best wishes. Nick

Nick Wright

24/2/2013 12:40:24 am

Thanks for your kind feedback, Peter. With best wishes. Nick

Gwen Arnold link

23/2/2013 06:36:36 pm

Wonderful wise reflections. Our own awareness I think is foundational
Just as Christ did so may we follow

Nick Wright

24/2/2013 12:55:49 am

Hi Gwen and thanks for such encouraging feedback. Yes, I agree that awareness is a very important factor and lies at the heart of reflective practice. We could contrast reflective practice with living and working on 'auto pilot'. I would add factors such as belief, intentionality, stance and love alongside awareness as foundational. Would you agree? Jesus sets us such an amazing example to follow. :) With best wishes. Nick

Marian Naidoo

24/2/2013 04:34:38 am

Hi Nick
Thanks for this post - I found it very interesting. I am not a particularly religious person so I can not speak from that perspective. However, I am an Actor and a nurse and have worked to develop and transform health services for many years. The focus is always on ups killing people, developing models and tools and techniques for improvement. What my craft as an Actor taught me is the importance of the relational dynamic and of truly being on the moment. Yes we obviously need skills but given from one to another in a vacuum will never be enough. I am currently very fearful of how the response to the Francis report from the NHS is to drive a programme of Leadership led by a huge consultancy - another one size fits all knee jerk reaction. If we paused and thought about what we each do as practitioners and how we hold ourselves to account perhaps we would recognise the need to act differently.

Daphne MacNeil

24/2/2013 12:18:45 pm

I have learned that in this fast pace world we need to learn to be able to connect with one another; choosing to be present powerful; we instantly know when the other person sees us and is attentive; we also know when they are not. I also believe that each one of us need to be the leaders we wish to see in this world (a spin off from Ghandi's quote: be the change we wish to see in the world. Respectfully, Daphne

Nick Wright

25/2/2013 12:33:57 am

Hi Daphne and thanks for the note. I liked your comment that 'we instantly know when the other person sees us and is attentive'. It reminded me of a greeting in southern Africa which says 'I see you'. It communicates something like 'I notice you, you have my attention, I'm here for you.' I find that very profound and moving. I also liked your application of Ghandi's words to leadership. With best wishes. Nick

Nick Wright

25/2/2013 12:29:34 am

Hi Marian and thanks for your thought-provoking comments. I was intrigued by the interplay between 'presence' in nursing and in acting. It sounds like you may be saying that navigating a relationship is not only about learning relational skills but about genuinely being there with and for another person or group? I think that is very important when we think about and practice being present. With best wishes. Nick

Enrique Vergara link

24/2/2013 05:51:51 am

Thanks Nick. Your reflexions confirmed me in the way I am acting in my coaching.

Nick Wright

25/2/2013 12:35:30 am

That's good to hear, Enrique. Would you be happy to share any examples from your coaching practice and experience? With best wishes. Nick

Ales Pogacnik

24/2/2013 05:58:11 am

I believe, it's not just being in the moment, that kind of charisma has also other kind of origins. I would like to particularly stress the importance of healthy self-confidence, generaly speaking, being satisfied the way as you are, not hiding your lack of self-confidence behind professional attitude.
I believe, that kind of charisma is natural, when we are able to accept ourselves, others and the world just as it is, not struggling to change it for all costs. Just enjoying every moment of life, happy to share every moment, our wisdom and experience with others.
I think, general gratitude plays a very important role in our charisma, followed by congruence of our thoughts, words, and non-verbal communication.

And Nick, thanks for sharing that with us, I really appreciate that.

best regards,

Ales

Nick Wright

25/2/2013 12:41:14 am

Hi Ales and thanks for sharing your reflections. I found your comments about health self-confidence and self-acceptance along with not struggling for change at all costs interesting and helpful. The image that came to mind for me as I read your words was of a person free and at peace, not acting out of internal struggles, anxieties or defensiveness. It feels like a very attractive image and one that can be difficult to achieve and sustain. I found it inspiring. With best wishes. Nick

Funmi Johnson link

24/2/2013 08:57:48 am

Hi Nick,

Another thought provoking piece. I was involved in training a group of people this week, who don't speak English as a first language. In reflecting on how the training went, I felt much less confident than I usually do and wasn't sure that i had done a good job. This article has made me think about how much of my charisma as a trainer is rooted in a shared language and other cultural markers.

Food for thought indeed

Blessings
Funmi

Funmi Johnson

24/2/2013 10:18:23 am

I love how your posts always engage me and make me think.

Nick Wright

25/2/2013 12:47:53 am

Thanks Funmi. Your posts and responses always engage and make me think too! With best wishes. Nick

Nick Wright

25/2/2013 12:46:51 am

Thanks for another thought-provoking response, Funmi. I would love to hear more about the training event...who was there, what happened, what influenced how you were feeling. I found your comments about charisma rooted in shared language and culture very interesting - could you say more?

It reminded me of a social worker friend in Germany who once commented in conversation how language can block as well as enable relational connection. It was as if, if we have a very limited shared vocabulary, we can focus on and struggle with words so much that we miss a deeper intuitive connection.

I would love to hear more from you. With best wishes. Nick

Tara Hesson

24/2/2013 10:14:10 am

Great article! Great reminder! Thanks for sharing!

Nick Wright

25/2/2013 12:49:20 am

Thanks for the encouraging feedback,Tara. :) With best wishes. Nick

Chiku Malunga

24/2/2013 10:15:00 am

Nick. This resonates deeply with me. On my 40th birthday recently I went for a retreat to reflect on what I felt to be the two journeys (the professional and the spiritual) moving towards a confluence in my life. Check my monthly update on www.cadeco.mw The result of my meditation was a manuscript now published as a book entitled , "Cultivating Personal and Organizational Effectiveness: Spiritual Insights from African Proverbs". In the book I deal with the topic of Presence in chapter 4 entitled, "Being, Relationship and Doing" I am convinced that a conscious spirituality is indispensable for effective professional and OD practice.

Nick Wright

25/2/2013 12:56:28 am

Hi Chiku and thanks for sharing this resource with us. It sounds like your retreat was a very powerful experience for you. I was interested in your final comment that 'a conscious spirituality is indespensable for effective professional and OD practice.' It is certainly true for me that my Christian spirituality is an integral dimension of my own professional and OD practice - or at least that's something I aspire to! - and I'm wondering how you would see that working out for professionals who don't believe in or identify with a spiritual dimension to their lives or the world. I would be interested to hear your thoughts. With best wishes. Nick

Chiku Malunga

25/2/2013 03:27:43 am

Nick. Thanks for your kind comments. I have thought about professionals who do not believe in the spiritual dimension and my reflection has taken me to the old testament where we see God using people like Cyrus and Nebuchagnezzer to fulfill his historical and strategic purposes. At the end of the day the work we do is Gods work and He decides whom He wants to use for what purposes. For the believer this is a conscious process for the non-believer it is usually an unconscious process. However being used by God is not always a seal of approval from Him. There is a difference, sometimes, in being used by Him and our personal relationship with Him. The Grace of God many times does not differentiate between believers and non-believers.

I tackle this in detail in chapter 6 where I am talking about Stages of Spiritual Development

Emmanuelle Stathopoulos

24/2/2013 10:16:01 am

Thank you Nick for this most interesting post! What came to my mind while reading the description of your friend was 'holistic balance'. In other words, this person seemed to be fully present not only with his body and mind but his heart as well, a tripartite balanced way of being in the world and communicating with others. Along with healthy self confidence, faith in what he is doing, a vision springing from deep values of love and compassion, I believe is the end result we come to perceive as 'charisma'. Something which touches us to our core because so called 'charismatic' people have a knack for communicating with others at psyche core level. This has the effect of 'unlocking' our barriers and opening up to the person as if in a trance.Very interesting!

Nick Wright

25/2/2013 01:04:13 am

Hi Emmanuelle and thanks for your helpful comments. I think you expressed that really well. Interestingly, I asked my Christian social worker friend afterwards what he attributed his own presence to and he replied, 'years of study and experience'. He is committed to a form of professional practice that draws together theory and practice in real relationships and situations - an on-going action research approach. It's as if, over time, this kind of engagement results in professional gravitas which, when combined with personal presence, is experienced by others as charisma. I would be very interested to hear your thoughts on this. With best wishes. Nick

Emmanuelle Stathopoulos

26/2/2013 01:18:54 am

This is very helpful and hopeful, because it means that these properties can be emulated even by those who are not considered (either by themselves or others) as having natural charisma. Would love to learn more!

Nick Wright

26/2/2013 05:29:21 am

Hi Emmanuelle. You may find this short article interesting? http://www.nick-wright.com/six-pillars-of-professionalism.html. Let me know what you think! With best wishes. Nick

Marjie Bramham

25/2/2013 12:14:13 am

Hi Nick, what an inspirational piece to start my week! The ability to stop, notice and make meaning of a situation and how we can grow is aways a characteristic to be admired. Your observations of this persons ability to come from the intent to connect "here and now" therefore creating true presence. Certainly, in my world not something I have rarely had the opportunity to observe - in our busy world, when stopping to reflect can be frowned upon, we lose sight of what really matters- to start each day and conversation with the intent to connect and 'be'. Thanks for sharing :)

Nick Wright

25/2/2013 01:19:48 am

Hi Marjie and thanks for such heartwarming feedback. I think you make a very important point about the impact of prevailing cultural influences that communicate implicit or explicit messages along the lines of e.g. 'to be busy is to be important' or 'to be busy is to be valuable'. Within such cultural environments, a focus on reflection, being or presence can be perceived and evaluated negatively by others, even if such practices can actually add value.

I worked with one very busy leadership team that found itself continually facing tightly-packed agendas. The pace of team meetings felt pressured, intense and sometimes exhausting. We decided to try a counterintuitive experiment that involved using e.g. the first 20 minutes of a 2 hour meeting to arrive in the room, breathe, relax, connect with themselves, each other and God.

At first it seemed like an impossible idea. The question in everyone's mind was, 'how can we make space for this when the agenda is already so packed?!' However, the experiment surprised us all. By arriving and focusing in this way, allowing space and establishing relational contact, the team was able to achieve faster and better quality results in the conversations that followed.

I would be very interested to hear how you have found ways to create reflective space in the busyness of your world too, especially where others may frown upon it. With best wishes. Nick

Chas Leslie

25/2/2013 01:30:04 am

Hi Nick, interesting piece. I have found that having a "presence" and "charisma" are neutral terms. Both are qualities that can be used for good or ill: I can think of a number of charismatic leaders who have taken us down some very dark paths. In my own work I use the terms "Honesty" and "Mutual respect" for wht you are describing - being honest about yourself, both to yourself and to others, and respecting others and their views/values as having equal value. As Marjie has commented there is also something about being rooted in the "here and now".

Nick Wright

25/2/2013 03:35:22 am

Hi Chas and thanks for the note. Yes, I agree with you about charisma. I don't know if you saw the recent TV series in the UK called, 'The Dark Charisma of Adolf Hitler'? It was a chilling example of the dark paths you mention. I agree too with your values of honest and respect and, with Marjie, being rooted in the here and now. The question of respecting others and their views/values can be a challenging one, e.g. vis a vis the views/values of the Nazis (above). There is something for me about treating other people with value and respect but not necessarily agreeing with their views or actions...and sometimes vehemently disagreeing. I would be interested to hear if you have any further thoughts on this. With best wishes. Nick

Chas Leslie

25/2/2013 05:06:36 am

Obviously there are extremes. The emphasis is on mutual respect: I respect your views and you respect mine, and I agree it does not mean we have to agree. I work a lot in the political field - people from different political parties can and do work together to address local issues, then go into the chamber and deride each other's broader policies (as we regularly hear on "Today in Parliament"). It depends on whether we focus on the common ground or the differences.

Isaac Okai

25/2/2013 02:04:44 am

I really like the wonderful piece. It taught me to check my presence everytime I am in the mist of people since it communicates a message to them.

Nick Wright

25/2/2013 03:37:04 am

Thanks for your kind feedback, Isaac. Yes, I agree that being present communicates an important message to other people. With best wishes. Nick

Anna Withers

25/2/2013 03:28:26 am

I come from a German background and your posting really made me reflect on cultural differences in greetings and introductions.Individual handshaking in Germany is polite-it is like bowing and giving calling cards in Japan or talking about the weather in the UK.Yet to you it communicated presence and I find this fascinating-for having worked and lived in the UK for much of my adult life I have always avoided too much hand shaking-simply because I thought it culturally inappropriate.Your posting helped me to reflect on using the hand shake as a form of communicating "my presence" to others and that is terribly useful feedback to me.Anna

Nick Wright

25/2/2013 03:44:53 am

Hi Anna and thank you for sharing such interesting reflections. I agree that hand-shaking in Germany is a form of polite greeting and that, in that sense, it can be similar to bowing in Japan. At the same time, I think there is something about spirit, attitude, presence and intention in a handshake that can make all the difference between a formal greeting/ritual and a deeply interpersonal connection. I guess the latter may be what we sometimes refer to as a 'warm handshake'. Similarly, a person may bow as ritual in Japan or bow in genuine reverence and respect. It feels to me that there is a marked difference qualitatively and relationally. I would love to hear if you have any further reflections on this. I also wondered if you might find this short blog interesting on a similar topic: http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2011/06/a-touching-place.html. With best wishes. Nick

Anna Withers

26/2/2013 01:15:17 am

Thank you Nick - your comments are most helpful.

Dee Hennessy

25/2/2013 03:29:03 am

It was lovely reading The Power of Presence. As a coach I used to confuse positive action based coaching with driving forward...in recent years ( possibly with growing maturity) I have discovered the potent power of living in the moment. It truly changed not only my work practice but also my life.

Nick Wright

25/2/2013 03:49:18 am

Hi Dee and thank you for your encouraging feedback. I would love to hear more about what the shift from positive action based coaching to living in the moment looks like in your coaching outlook, approach and practice. Do you have any examples you would be willing to share, perhaps contrasting the former with the latter? With thanks and best wishes. Nick

Karen Bailey link

25/2/2013 08:10:56 am

Hi Nick

One of the most interesting features of this blog is the title. For me, the use of words ‘power’ and ‘presence’ in the same sentence has a certain incongruence, although I understand the intent of the two words together. Power, conjures up authority, even a supremacy. Yet the essence of presence is more about the words you use later in your blog, behaving with authenticity, and a way that lets our values shine through. Mandela and Ghandi had presence but did they have power? In my view presence is about honouring our personal qualities and being in the moment. In my experience when I have aimed to do this I have given up ‘power’ in order to be more authentic.

Nick as you know I am a mediator. When assessing would be mediators one of the main criteria is ‘presence’. This is always the most interesting section – and often the one that defines a natural effective mediator from a mediator who understands the process intellectually but doesn’t necessarily intuitively feel the process.

The types of qualities being assessed are,
∼ self awareness of personal impact,
∼ empathy demonstrated by active listening skills, voice tone and eye contact (assessing the ability to listen in the moment rather than thinking ahead – what ‘clever’ question can I ask next)
∼ the ability to blend calmness with strength and confidence
∼ knowing when to time interventions, being respectful with any intervention and without ego

What is most interesting about this section is giving written feedback to delegates on their personal qualities. Whilst most of us are used to giving and receiving feedback on our skills we rarely receive feedback on those personal qualities that are our presence.

A reference that I particular like on this subject Daniel Bowling David Hoffman: Bringing Peace into the Room : How the personal qualities of the mediator impact on the process of conflict resolution.

Wishing you an insightful journey in understanding presence. For me it is a continuous daily journey.

Much love
Karen

Nick Wright

28/2/2013 11:55:20 am

Hi Karen and thanks for such interesting and thought-provoking comments. I found your challenge on the use of the word 'power' stimulating as I'd wondered too about using that word in the title. I can see the possible links with words like authority and supremacy.

I believe figures like Jesus, Mandela and Ghandi possessed and exercised personal authority (as distinct from coercive structural power), some would call it gravitas, that invited and evoked a response in others. You could call it influence...or leadership.

I found your comment about giving up power interesting. It seems to me that the relationship between personal power and em-powering others is a curious and complex one. I really liked your emphasis on presence as a critical factor in effective mediation.

The qualities you listed reminded me of Daniel Goleman's Emotional Intelligence. I haven't come across Bowling and Hoffman's work before but it does sound interesting. What would you describe as its highlights?

With thanks and best wishes. Nick

Pip Bruce Ferguson

25/2/2013 02:34:25 pm

Hi all - a great set of reflections on Nick's initial piece.

A few reflections from my part of the world (New Zealand). I work in education, and did some research a while back where a woman called Camille Nakhid wrote, "Am 'I' in the picture?" She was reflecting on how we all have an immediate tendency to locate ourselves when viewing a photo, to see if we are in it. It's that thing about presence. She then went on to elaborate on how we can, even when teaching large groups, find ways to help people to know that their presence is known and appreciated.

For instance, if teaching a group that has Pacific Islanders in it, we might have Island music playing when the students come in, or a lei or fabric tapa cloth on the front desk. A colleague of mine also makes a point of acknowledging cultural or religious events such as Chinese New Year or the start of Ramadan, when teaching a large group. It takes only a minute, but acknowledges the presence of people who may otherwise feel marginalised if they are minorities.

Finally, with regard to reflection and letting go of stressors, I took a Certificate in Te Reo Maori (the Maori language) a few years back. It was run from 6 - 9 at night, and people could come in stressed from leaving their kids, finding parking, having a busy day or whatever. The protocol for the evening was always to start with a karakia (prayer) followed by five minutes of quiet reflection to music. While we relaxed - in chairs or lying on the ground if we were so inclined, however weird that might sound to the formally-inclined ;-),
the lecturer would take us through a relaxing meditation while quiet music played in the background. The meditation encouraged us to lay down the burdens we had come in with, to envisage our preferred learning environment and 'take ourselves there' in our heads, to see ourselves as competent speakers of Te Reo, and then to quietly come back to ourselves and the class. It was VERY settling and encouraging. I thought you might like to know of this approach while we're having this discussion.

Warm regards

Pip

Nick Wright

28/2/2013 12:04:17 pm

Hi Pip and thanks for such fascinating comments. I was very interested in the approach you use to acknowledge, affirm and show respect for other people's presence. I also liked the techniques you used to help learn Te Reo. It emphasises the relationship between relaxation, presence and learning.

It reminded me of a leadership meeting I took part in where the facilitator started by asking us all to lie on the floor for 10 minutes before the business parts of the meeting started. People in the group looked completely bemused but, after having done it, commented on how much freeer the meeting felt as a result.

With thanks again and best wishes to you. Nick

Kevin Green

26/2/2013 12:19:02 am

Good post with thanks. Developing presence is certainly a single big thing that would enhance all relationships. If anyone's interested, have a look at the work of 'Patsy Rodenburg' and her content around the 3 circles of human energy. Very credible and she provides practical things to do & try and remain in the here & now.

Nick Wright

28/2/2013 12:20:51 pm

Hi Kevin and thanks for the note. Thanks too for the reference to Rodenburg's work. It sounds very interesting. Would you be happy to share a summary of what it entails in practice? With best wishes. Nick

Starr Olsen

26/2/2013 01:16:18 am

Jesus or Buddha who also taught mindfulness and attention to the present.

Nick Wright

28/2/2013 12:23:19 pm

Hi Starr and thanks for the note. Yes, I find Buddhism's teachings on mindfulness and presence interesting and helpful. With best wishes. Nick

Mike Caracalas

26/2/2013 01:17:20 am

Beautiful post Nick. Thank you.

Nick Wright

28/2/2013 12:24:27 pm

Thanks for your heartwarming feedback, Mike. With best wishes. Nick

Sean Hubbard

26/2/2013 01:20:14 am

Hi Nick, to be present is a wonderful place to be, because you are in the moment of being and not thinking of the next thing or the past. For me, I take inspiration from my kids because kids are always in the moment. They are all in! And when I am there, life seems easier and more enjoyable. At first, it is a conscious choice to keep checking in with myself, literally asking the question "where am I right now", if I am somewhere else, then I can make the effort to come back to now. Overtime, it begins to just happen more and more naturally. Hope that helps.

Nick Wright

28/2/2013 12:28:57 pm

Hi Sean and thanks for the inspiring note. I like the idea of children being 'all in'. Its as if we can, at times, become completely engrossed in the moment, not preoccupied with the past or future or other distractions. I like your question, 'where am I right now' as a way of re-focusing on the here and now and I agree it takes practice! With best wishes. Nick

James R Glenn

27/2/2013 04:28:21 am

Great post. Reminds me of the axiom that we are more human beings than we are human doings. Activity is secondary to Existence.

Nick Wright

28/2/2013 12:34:53 pm

Hi James and thanks for the reminder about 'human beings'. There's an interesting story in the Bible where Jesus comments to two sisters (Martha and Mary) that being present to him, in that moment, is more important than doing things for him. In response to your comment 'activity is secondary to existence', you may find this blog interesting: http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2013/02/existential-coaching.html. With best wishes. Nick

Kevin Robson DipM MBA FCIM

27/2/2013 11:09:57 am

Presence is a very important aspect of good leadership. Any Cuddy talks about what is presence on TED.com and says presence comes from personal confidence, being comfortable in one's own skin, being captivating in speech and ideas, being passionate about something, being enthusiastic and being authentic.

I suggest these are all characteristics of good leadership, but, principally I believe leaders need to be servants. I discourse on this in a whole chapter of my recent book 'Service-Ability' (See more on http://service-ability.com/?page_id=238 ) Servant Leadership seems like an oxymoron, but it is the real way to get people to be themselves servants: of the organisation, of each other and of the customer.

I'd love to hear people's view on this.

Ken Gilbert

27/2/2013 08:12:21 pm

I am for this! Leadership is service. Through serving others we discover our true selves www.kengilbert.com.au has my sources of my lifetime commitment.

Nick Wright

28/2/2013 12:18:11 pm

Hi Kevin and thanks for the note. I like the list of qualities you quote from Cuddy and your emphasis on servant leadership. I found your link to modelling an attitude and approach that leads to other people serving others helpful too.

What constitutes 'servant leadership' is an interesting question. In its biblical sense, I tend to think of servanthood as 'doing that which is in the best interests of another'. This is different to an unqualified doing whatever another asks, expects or demands of me.

The kind of challenges this can pose in organisations include (a) being clear about who 'other' is when dealing with multiple stakeholders, sometimes with competing interests and (b) knowing for sure what is in another's best interest.

I'd be very interested to hear if you have further thoughts on this. With best wishes. Nick

Kevin Robson DipM MBA FCIM

8/3/2013 02:59:25 pm

Just responding to Nick's wonderings about what Servant Leadership is. Robert Greenleaf, who first coined the term, undoubtedly had the concept of ensuring another's highest priority needs were met, but he also pointed out other aspects of the servant leader's role that were undoubtedly less touchy-feely. One way that I came to understand it was about 20 years ago. We had just finished building a new company head office, with adjacent warehousing on a greenfield site and was sitting in my brand new office behind my brand new executive desk with new computers and 'phones etc. I felt good. Almost two decades of hard work had come to fruition. Then I realized that, although I had hit the pinnacle of personal achievement, my only role was to serve everyone whom I employed because they were the ones actually doing the business. I was the boss, but I was everyone's servant. That was a Damascene Moment for me.

Sam Chittenden

27/2/2013 11:11:36 am

Ppresence is greater when we act and speak 'on purpose'.

Nick Wright

28/2/2013 12:36:39 pm

Hi Sam and thanks for the note. By 'on purpose', do you mean with a specific intention or end in mind? With best wishes. Nick

Sam Chittenden

1/3/2013 12:14:19 am

Hi Nick,

I think this kind of 'purpose' is deeper than one specific end or outcome.
It's more about being consistent, authentic and clear what we are about.

Warmest wishes

Sam Chittenden

James Henman, Ph.D. link

27/2/2013 06:52:21 pm

This was my first experience with this group and appreciated Nick's ability to capture the experience in words and reflect deeply. There is such a difference between religion and spirituality. This difference is reflected in the comments, both from Nick and others. As a psychologist - Therapeutic Coach for the past 30+ years, I believe the ability to be really present with both myself and my client in a deeply, purposeful way is essential to a healthy outcome.

When Chas brought up Mutual Respect as an important element, it reminded me that my interpretation of MR is somewhat different than his definition. For me, Mutual Respect means that I choose to respect myself and I choose to respect you. If you choose to not be respectful toward me, then my Mutual Respect leads me to "protect you from hurting me." This is not from fear but from respect to both of us. It is not respectful to allow someone to hurt me, without my doing my best to protect them from that.

To help my focus I use this prayer throughout the day: Lord, let me see myself and others through Your Eyes, and Respond to what I see through Your Nature and Style. I try to treat others the way my Big Brother Jesus treats me.

I'm liking this group!

James Henman, Ph.D.

Nick Wright

28/2/2013 12:44:49 pm

Hi James and a warm welcome to this conversation. :) Yes, I believe there is quite a difference between 'religion' and 'spirituality', depending of course on what we mean by those terms. I found your reflections on mutual respect, on 'protect you from hurting me' very profound.

It also reminded me of Martin Luther King's reflections on being careful of how we respond to others because our response influences who we become as well as what happens to or for the other person or group. In his terms, 'our liberation is bound up together'...to liberate myself I must liberate the other.

I really liked your prayer. May God guide us with love, wisdom and peace. With best wishes. Nick

Gloria Soriano

27/2/2013 08:14:15 pm

I relate well with your discussions gentlemen. This year is my 33rd year as an OD Consultant in the Philippines. Since ten years back, I have designed Personality and Values Transformation Program to include the strengthening of Spirituality as an essential human dimension which will make for a stronger and more committed involvement of people at work, other than find meaning to the work they do everyday, other than the means for a living. I have worked closely with an Oblate priest who developed the program Adult Work Spirituality over a ten-year period, that is practical and non-doctrinal in approach. We're actively propagating this in the corporate environment since two years back. The response is both motivating as well as enlightening, how the hunger for spirituality affect commitment and renewed work ethics. I will continue reading through the experiences you now have shared as part of my continuing professional education to share with clients I'm privileged to work with; and I'll share my experiences as well for whatever worth these may do to the rest. Thank you and GOD BLESS US ALWAYS!
GLORIA B. SORIANO

James Henman, Ph.D. link

27/2/2013 10:05:21 pm

Gloria,
I'd love to hear more about your work in the Philippines on grass root Personality and Values Transformation Program. I have a deep love and belief in the ability of folks to make significant changes in a safe, enriched environment of grace (no-fault learning) where the fundamental principal that healthy change is possible (perfect change is impossible).

In 1990 I developed CAIR Self-Help Groups and later CAIRing Grace Groups that used the book I wrote the same year, "Changing Attitude In Recovery - A Handbook On Esteem". Sharing in a small group setting, chewing on nuggets of wisdom about elements of healthy change. The format and material is free on my web site www.CAIRforYou.com.

How can I learn more about your work?

Nick Wright

28/2/2013 01:00:30 pm

Hi James and thanks for sharing the material on your website: I will certainly look forward to having a look at it and learning from what sounds like a fascinating approach. With best wishes. Nick

Nick Wright

28/2/2013 12:49:22 pm

Hi Gloria and thank you for such an inspiring response. I would love to hear more about the work you have developed in the Philippines. Would you be happy to share more about the Personality and Values Transformation Programme and the Adult Work Spirituality approaches you have developed? With thanks and blessings. Nick

Harold Russell

28/2/2013 05:44:58 am

I've found that many people seem not to have time to engage emotionally with themselves, thus making it night on impossible to do so with others. Hence being present with oneself so often becomes a pre-requisite for being a good leader.

But learning to create time for engaging with oneself takes time and effort in sorting out who one is and what one believes to be important (however one defines that). But once you've done it it does make such a difference.

Kevin Robson DipM MBA FCIM

28/2/2013 05:46:07 am

I agre with Harold. leaders need coherence - to be "all of a piece". If I may quote from my book: " Warren Bennis, Professor of Management at the University of Southern California, sees the leader as ‘social architect’ of the organization or group, and identifies four key abilities of leaders: the management of attention through having a vision that everyone can believe in and which provides a bridge to the future; the management of meaning by communicating that vision and translating it into successful results; the management of trust, ‘the emotional glue that binds followers to leaders’, by being consistent, constant, focused and coherent (‘all of a piece’ is how he described Margaret Thatcher, the U.K Prime Minister from 1979 to 1990); and the management of self, which means persistence and resilience in the face of failure, self‐knowledge, a willingness to go on learning, commitment to a cause, a willingness to take risks, and the acceptance of challenge. Bennis argues that ‘Managers do things right. Leaders do the right thing.’ At the heart of leadership, therefore, is the interplay of attitudes, skills and attributes in the individual. Effective leadership has very little to do with power and authority."

Nick Wright

28/2/2013 01:09:33 pm

Hi Harold and thanks for posting such thought-provoking comments. It reminds me of Daniel Goleman's work on Emotional Intelligence. The notion that if a person doesn't engage emotionally with themselves, they are unlikely to be able to engage emotionally with others is an interesting one.

Do you think it might be possible for a person to suppress their own feelings but nevertheless to connect with the feelings of another, e.g. via projection?

I guess the challenge in that case is how to distinguish between one's own emotional material and that of others. As you say, if a leader doesn't know him or herself, they are less likely to be a good leader because, if for no other reason, they will be unaware of their own projections onto others.

With thanks and best wishes. Nick

Harold Russell

1/3/2013 04:13:23 am

Nick. You ask if people can suppress their own feelings but nevertheless connect with the feelings of another, e.g. via projection?

I think 'yes', if we mean that they internally manage the effect their emotions may have on their thinking and behaviour towards others. That is, they are conscious of their feelings yet know how to give their full attention to others without these feelings distorting what they say or how they say it. This is, for example, a core skill for coaches involved in personal change work with clients.

Where great leaders succeed is in developing rapport with others based on the world in which these others are, rather than the world in which the leader is.

Your question, Nick, is an interesting one, because many people are likely to say 'yes' but then not do it. And that's simply because it takes a bit of practice.

Ken Gilbert

28/2/2013 05:46:43 am

Eggscellent stuff at one stage of my life I spent some time with Warren Bennis Best to all ken G

Martine Bolton

28/2/2013 05:48:33 am

Oh to be as calm, centred, wise, charismatic and present as your friend sounds Nick. Perhaps most of us can only aspire, and daily try to be better versions of ourselves! Thanks, as always, for the inspiration.

Nick Wright

28/2/2013 01:18:07 pm

Hi Martine and thanks for the encouraging feedback. Yes, I wonder if, for some people, presence is easier and more natural than for others. I wonder how much is due to personality, disposition etc. as well as a developed art or practice. I find it reasonably easy to become present, in the moment, and very hard to stay in that place! I very easily default to busyness, distractions, preoccupations etc. I guess we're on a learning journey. :) With best wishes. Nick

Martine Bolton

1/3/2013 01:34:21 am

Thanks Nick. I suspect that, whilst some are by their nature calmer and more centred, presence is a state achievable by us all, but probably not something we could hope to maintain as a constant. Reflective practice and planning take us out of the present moment and into the past / future, and I feel sure these practices have as much value as being present has. I personally find that if I can find even a few moments in a day to be fully mindful of the present moment, the rest of the day can be as busy at it likes! Perhaps we can console ourselves with the thought that a busy life filled with lots activity is probably providing more learning experiences than a life spent in meditation would - particularly if we take the time to reflect! Please keep those articles coming. I love your writing, and really enjoying finding a quiet moment :-) in which to read them!

Nick Wright

1/3/2013 04:23:18 am

Many thanks, Martine - I found your kind feedback very heartwarming. :) I also found your comments on reflective practice very thought-provoking, especially in terms of taking someone out of the present moment and into the past or future. I guess it depends on what approach to reflective practice is being used.

I believe reflective practice is, at best, reflection in the context of practice (Moon, 2002). Schon (1987) distinguishes between reflecting on practice ('what happened?') and reflecting in practice ('what is happening?'). Some writers also add reflection before practice ('what do we need to think about before we do this?').

So I guess it's possible to do reflective practice in the present moment, to be aware, to weigh up issues and options and to make conscious choices in the midst of action...although admittedly it's much more difficult to do that than to reflect before or after the action. What do you think? With best wishes. Nick

Martine Bolton

1/3/2013 05:26:33 am

Hmmm. I was thinking in terms of reflecting backwards. Do we reflect backwards and project forwards perhaps? Maybe we can reflect on the past and the present? Might tie myself up in knots if I think too hard about it!!

I'm definitely not an expert, but do find it useful to ponder a few 'what.../so what.../now what...?' type questions at the end of a project/era, or a few more analytical questions following a 'feel-bad' type of event (What, specifically, am I feeling? What happened to trigger that? What did I say, and what did I do? (if applicable). What did any others say and do? (if applicable). What thoughts, beliefs, assumptions etc generated my feelings? Could my thinking be ‘faulty’, for example, could I be deleting, distorting or generalising about anything? What could I learn from this? Is there something I would do differently if faced with a similar situation in the future). I find it helps me to process and 'get' the learning.

Very useful also of course to ponder the 'what ifs' before starting something, as you mention. Perhaps that is a form of reflection too. I've just never thought of it that way.

Apologies for taking this conversation somewhat off its original track! And I think you're probably right... that 'presence' is required when reflecting - even when reflecting backwards.

Thanks Nick!

Nick Wright

1/3/2013 05:29:51 am

Hi Martine. I loved the questions you pose for yourself as part of your own reflective-learning process. Sounds like a mini self-coaching cognitive-behavioural approach. Excellent. Hope you apply a corresponding appreciative inquiry approach to the things that go well. :) With best wishes. Nick

Martine Bolton

1/3/2013 05:43:48 am

Ha ha! I'd like to say "always" Nick, but... busy life and all that ;-)

Adhir Ghosh

28/2/2013 05:49:08 am

Thanks, Nick for a 'poignant' theme. We have become so focussed on 'competencies' and expertise that we have forgotten to be 'human' and build relatedness rather than relationships only.

Nick Wright

28/2/2013 01:26:05 pm

Hi Adhir and thanks for the note. I think you expressed that very succinctly and profoundly. I wonder if you would be interested in these blog reflections on a related theme: http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2011/02/qualities-of-leadership.html; http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2011/02/leadership-as-transformational-dynamic.html; http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2011/02/more-leadership-musings.html; http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2011/02/and-more-leadership-musings.html. I would be very interested to hear what you think. With best wishes. Nick

Liz Ford link

1/3/2013 04:29:32 am

Thanks for your post Nick. A lovely reminder of the need to slow down and notice where we are, what we are doing and how this is impacting others.

I also wish to thank you for the presence you have shown in the comments feed. Replying to each comment and enabling the conversation to continue to flow with some beautiful results.

Thanks too to all who have contributed. I've enjoyed reading your reflections and visiting the places to which they have taken my thoughts.

Nick Wright

1/3/2013 04:46:00 am

Thanks Liz for such affirming feedback. Yes, I find it deeply enriching to see how the flow of the conversation emerges. I feel inspired and learn so much from others' insights, ideas and experiences too. With best wishes. Nick

Kevin Richard McNulty

2/3/2013 06:21:11 am

Nick, That's a beautiful story and lesson...thanks for sharing it. I must say there's another component to your posting that I also appreciate...it's your courage. Particularly in secular settings, it is risky to speak of Christ. By any account, he was a beautiful person and teacher.

Nick Wright

2/3/2013 06:28:11 am

Hi Kevin and thanks for your kind words. I don't feel very courageous. I'm just trying to be honest and authentic in how I perceive and experience reality, truth, God etc. I'm intrigued by how other people perceive and experience the world too. Yes, I feel humbled and privileged to be associated with Jesus Christ. I really do owe my life to him. With best wishes. Nick

Kevin Richard McNulty

2/3/2013 07:43:47 am

Yes! :)

Kevin Richard McNulty

2/3/2013 07:46:23 am

Nick, Somehow I thought you would respond in such a humble way. I look forward to learning more about and from you. I facilitate an adult Sunday school class and look forward to discussing your blog/Power of Presence as our topic. Best to you and all here.

Nick Wright

2/3/2013 07:48:28 am

Hi Kevin - you made me smile. Now I do feel humbled! :) I would be very interested to hear any reflections from your class on this topic. With best wishes. Nick

Walt Phillips

2/3/2013 07:29:53 am

Very brave authentic post. Thanks for sharing.
Authenticity with individuals is so important when coaching or leading.

Nick Wright

2/3/2013 07:42:46 am

Hi Walt and thanks for the note. I'm intrigued: which part did you find brave? I agree with you that authenticity is an important quality in coaching and leadership. With best wishes. Nick

walt

4/3/2013 07:33:02 am

It's refreshing to see somone incorporate God into work....publically. This opens yourself up for others to weigh-in on their opinion when politics or religion are used to make a point. I personally, found it to be the truth.

Miles Kierson

3/3/2013 01:09:42 pm

Nick, I've been saying this for years now, "Presence is 95% of the value of, and impacts the outcome of, everything." Your post reminds me. Thank you.

Nick Wright

3/3/2013 01:10:46 pm

Thanks Miles. It's something I keep needing to remind myself of too! With best wishes. Nick

Jackie O'Carroll

4/3/2013 05:27:26 am

Hi Nick, thanks for your really inspiring piece! It really resonates with the coaching work I am doing around charisma - of which presence and warmth are fundamental elements. I enable people in developing their own charisma, which I call 'The Art of Making Others Feel Great'.
There is a myth about charisma, that it is about being powerful, extrovert, manipulative...I am promoting a model of charisma which comes from the 'inside out' - that it is related to EQ - self awareness, compassion, sharing vulnerability, being authentic...Let's spread the word!

Nick Wright

4/3/2013 09:26:47 am

Hi Jackie and thanks for such encouraging feedback. I was interested to hear of your work on developing charisma. Do you have any case examples you would be willing to share...how you do it in practice? I liked your emphasis on self-awareness, compassion, sharing vulnerability and being authentic. With best wishes. Nick

Linda Aspey

4/3/2013 09:16:54 am

A beautifully expressed piece - thank you Nick for posting it here.

Nick Wright

4/3/2013 09:18:43 am

Thanks for your kind feedback, Linda - much appreciated. With best wishes. Nick

Vijay Krishna Bojja

5/3/2013 03:19:16 am

Great Interactions.....One should really have Introspection as one's value....Many Thanks

Nick Wright

5/3/2013 03:02:05 pm

Thanks for the note, Vijay. Yes, valuing reflection feels important to me too. With best wishes. Nick

Caroline Bateman Sudhoff SPHR

5/3/2013 08:58:58 am

There is nothing more gratifying and energizing when we can truly connect and be present, especially in Corporate environments. Thank you for sharing your experience and observations.

Nick Wright

5/3/2013 03:08:49 pm

Hi Caroline and thanks for the note. Yes, there is something very powerful about being present and establishing (using Gestalt language) real 'contact' with another person or team. In light of this, I will sometimes pause in meetings to ask myself, 'how present am I?' or 'what's the quality of contact between us?' Alternatively, when faciltating teams or groups, I may occasionally pause and ask, 'what's the quality of contact between us at the moment?' It shifts the focus away from the topic to reconnect with each other. With best wishes. Nick

J. Bert Freeman link

5/3/2013 09:32:04 am

Hi Nick,

That helps me to understand that whether it is business, pleasure or just casual conversation, I (whoever I am) always have the opportunity to be a blessing.

Much Respect,
J. Bert Freeman (Bert)

Nick Wright

5/3/2013 03:11:49 pm

Hi Bert. What a wonderfully simple yet profound way of expressing it. With much respect to you too. Nick

Erika Zechner

6/3/2013 03:11:47 am

Nick,
Thanks for starting this very interesting discussion.
Kind regards,
Erika

Nick Wright

7/3/2013 11:18:21 pm

Thanks Erika. I would be interested to hear more of your reflections on this topic, e.g. how it resonated with your own insights and experiences? With best wishes. Nick

Nadia Hristova-Savukas

6/3/2013 11:19:49 am

Hi Nick,
I truly enjoyed reading your post. As a professional who specializes in Leadership Development I agree that if a leader does not have presence the person's leadership competencies may not come to light 100%. I was fortunate to be part of a program titled "Leading with Presence" and one element of the program is a book that talks about Leaders and the presence mark they have left in various situations. Thank you for sharing this insightful story and reminding me that I need to remind my audiences about their presence as leaders!
Nadia Savukas

Nick Wright

7/3/2013 11:23:20 pm

Hi Nadia and thanks for the encouraging feedback. The programme you took part in called 'Leading with Presence' sounds very interesting. Would you be willing to share more of what it covered, what inspired you, what you learned etc? Also, what was the book you were using? Sounds fascinating. I would love to hear more. With best wishes. Nick

Wyn Jones

7/3/2013 06:47:31 am

I have found a model on credibility by J. Bond and J. MackMersh an excellent tool to get people to consider their presence, purpose and impact. It is particularly helpful in getting people to reflect before attending meetings. A small time reflecting really helps them think before heading into "the room".
The model looks at history, first impressions, knowledge, congruence, finish and PR within the context and time as well as thinking about actions, visibility and associations.
The model is on my wall as a reminder before heading off to meetings.

Nick Wright

7/3/2013 11:29:25 pm

Hi Wyn and thanks for the note. The model you describe sounds very interesting and I do like the idea of posting it on the wall as a reminder before heading off to meetings. I also like the emphasis you mentioned on getting people to reflect before heading into the room. I try to do that too, to breathe, settle myself, clarify my focus etc, sometimes pray, rather than just rushing in. I also try to remind myself to focus on contact with others in the room, not just the task in hand. I don't always remember to do it but I can certainly see and feel the difference when I do. I'd be very interested to hear more about the model you shared - is it in a book? With best wishes. Nick

David

9/3/2013 05:59:33 am

Nick,
Thank you for sharing a great and rare example of leadership.
David Hosmer

Nick Wright

9/3/2013 12:15:26 pm

Thanks David. With best wishes. Nick

doug mayblum link

9/3/2013 12:47:39 pm

Thanks for the warm message of indeed encouraging the heart.

Many years ago, when I was leading an operations center a woman stopped me in the break room. She asked me, "Mr. Mayblum, why do you always look mad or sad?. You always look down and never say more than a polite hello."
I never realized this about myself. She was right.

Members of our teams always look to the leader's presence. If there is none apparent, what an opportunity lost.

Since then I have always been conscious of my presence and try to make the most of it. Recently I received an unsolicited comment: "Doug, you're eyes are always smiling." Note, in the first example I was addressed by "Mr." Fortunately, now its "Doug."

Bottom line: they feel better about themselves. And, so do I.

Doug Mayblum

Nick Wright

9/3/2013 01:11:51 pm

Hi Doug and thanks for sharing such honest and helpful examples from your personal experience. You reminded me of a time when a team colleague once comment that, on entering the office, I always checked me emails before spending time talking with the team. I had to learn to behave differently to be more present and attentive to those around me. A positive counter-example to my own was a leader I had the privilege of working with who would stop and greet every individual warmly as he entered the office in the morning. They loyalty and respect he engendered was incredible. With best wishes and thanks again. Nick

Janet Sernack

11/3/2013 02:19:30 am

Great conversation, very much aligned with the work being done at MIT, in Boston, which culminated some years ago in a book "Presence", with Peter Senge, Joseph Jaworski and Otto Sharmer as 3 of the authors.

This work has since progressed with the publication of "Theory U" by Otto, and "Source" by Joseph, 2 of the most powerful reads in the cutting edge leadership and transformational change space.

I completed the program at MIT in 2006, and use the Presencing process as the learning structure for teaching, and 'bring it to life' in my global Coach for Innovators Certified Program.

For more info on Presencing, visit Otto's website www.presencing.com.
Happy to chat more offline.

David Hosmer

11/3/2013 04:09:01 am

Janet,
Thank you for sharing. I studied dialogue under Bill Issacs. So, this brings back fond memory and useful reminder revisiting presence and its place in coaching.
David

Nick Wright

12/3/2013 01:38:55 pm

Hi Janet and thanks for the note. Yes, I remember having a copy of the 'Presence' book and passing it onto a friend. :) I hadn't heard of Theory U before so thanks for the link to Otto's website. I had a glance and particularly liked the statement concerning personal leadership: 'in the realm of presencing, we learn to sense the future that is seeking to emerge.' I would be very interested to hear more about how you use the presencing process as the learning structure for teaching, and bring it to life in your coach for innovators programme. Would you be happy to share some examples of how you approach it here? With thanks and best wishes. Nick

Janet Sernack

14/3/2013 03:39:03 pm

Hi Nick, thanks for inviting me to share more about how I use and 'bring to life' the Presencing Process as a learning structure for teaching in my Coach for Innovators Certified Program. Interestingly, all of my current participants had attended Otto's online Presencing Programs, and came with a good understanding of Theory U at a conceptual level, but with no idea of how to apply it to their consulting and coaching practices. So I am taking them, thru a 12 week, step by step experiential process, of each stage of the U process thru teaching them generative inquiry skills, using their own biz dilemma as the real life case study;
- Downloading & Sensing what is really going on?
- Sensing operating patterns & whole system
- Identify what are you perceiving, what are you paying attention to?
- Letting Go
- Letting Come
- Crystallizing your intention
- Improvising & experimenting/prototyping
- Planning and enacting your vision for innovation
- Embodying your vision for innovation
- Playing the 'macro violin'.
Hope that helps, more info at http://www.imaginenation.co.il/coach-for-innovators/
Regards Janet

Hansa Pankhania link

13/3/2013 04:43:42 am

Hello Nick
Thanks for your post and the fascinating discussion that it has triggered. "Presence" is a universal concept rooted in all spiritual traditions. In Indian Culture we greet people with hands joined at heart level and a subtle bow with "Namaste" which means" I honour the divine in you which you honour in me, and we are one" .This deep divine spiritual connection is a basic human need and much physical and psychological distress is experienced through lack of this. It is also true that true healing happens with this human presence and connection which needs to be the foundation for all professional practice.
It is the person that people respond to more and not their knowledge or expertise. Thanks for a reminder once again to be present with self and others.
Hansa Pankhania- Aum Consultancy

Nick Wright

13/3/2013 10:34:36 am

Hi Hansa - and 'namaste' to you. :) Thank you for sharing such inspiring comments on this topic. I love the Indian greeting, the hands at heart level, the subtle bow, the greeting that feels so honouring. I've experienced similar greetings in the Middle East and other parts of Asia that have felt similarly respectful and moving. I really like your reflections on potential for distress and healing - an important reminder.

I also liked your final comment on what people respond to in a relationship. I would be very interested to hear your comments on the 'success' section of this article on OD where I touch on similar issues: http://www.nick-wright.com/a-journey-towards-od.html. With best wishes. Nick

Joanna Smith

18/3/2013 02:59:41 am

Hi all, some great dialogue here,

I will confess that I (as well as many clients) feel challenged with being present, I tend to have a huge pull to the future which grounds me and as things start to feel uncertain I can forget to be mindful about today and seek strength from that. I often ask a question which I find helpful "what does my purpose/business/family most need from me today?" ... clearly you delete as appropriate. It always brings me back to what I can be in the moment.

Additionally, much like Janet's process - thank you Janet. I take time with clients and teams to have them notice the worldview they are (and could) operate from to be more resourceful and really check out the data > patterns > worldview choice > what to let go of.

Have a great week being present, I'm gonna practice my own thoughts and do a good of it this week.

Best,

Jo

Nick Wright

19/3/2013 12:52:21 pm

Hi Jo and thanks for the honest and insightful comments. I can certainly identify with the challenge you describe of being and staying present. I can become preoccupied with the past, future or lost in imagination. A coach encouraged me to simply practise pausing and focusing on my breathing to draw myself back into the present. It helped. I liked the question you pose to yourself. A coaching tutor encouraged me similarly to ask from time to time, 'Where am I now?' and, at times, to ask a client or group, 'Where are you now?' That has helped too. Hope you have a good week being present...let us know how you get on! :) With best wishes. Nick

Leanne Lowish

19/3/2013 03:16:28 am

Hi I totally agree with how powerful it is to meet someone who has true presence that just being in their space impacts us profoundly - have you read or done any work with Wendy Palmer? She has the presence you speak about and teaches people how to cultivate that in themselves - her work is called leadership embodiment.

Nick Wright

19/3/2013 12:59:58 pm

Hi Leanne and thanks for the note. I liked your way of expressing how simply being in the space of a person who is truly present can impact us profoundly. It feels deeper to me than a simple leadership 'competence'. I hadn't come across Wendy Palmer before so thanks for sharing the reference. I had a glance at her website and liked the notion of leadership posture too: http://www.leadershipembodiment.com/postures.html. With best wishes. Nick

Leanne Lowish

20/3/2013 06:50:01 am

Thanks for that as made me think about the word competence and how people understand it and I agree and I think Wendy defines it as creative ability - how does that sound to you? The article on power posing is an interesting read Amy Cuddy has also done a Ted speech on it.

Linda Aspey

20/3/2013 06:51:20 am

I too am intrigued by Wendy Palmer's work, I'd heard the name before but not looked deeper so thank yiu Leanne for mentioning her here. There are some interesting events coming up in the uk, via the site signposted by Nick. I think this may be an emerging area of interest for coaching. I certainly could do with linking my head and my body more!

Joanna Smith

20/3/2013 06:52:01 am

Just to offer some difference around the Wendy Palmer stuff - I connect to the power of openness in leadership and love her links to how animals show openess/ power and yet when I saw the two power poses ( http://www.leadershipembodiment.com/postures.html ) in the article began to wonder if in fact there may be a tension between the 'kind' of power created with these poses and the need for collaboration and approachability in leadership? With best regards, Jo

Janet Sernack

20/3/2013 06:52:37 am

Great point, I also had a look at Wendy's work, and after reflecting on it, see it as one approach to presence, I also find it a bit "soft", compared to the power of the U Process, which incorporates these elements and yet, can lead to innovative results. Dan Pink makes a very interesting update on the use of power in creating attunement, which is the basis of any real relationship, for authentic leadership, and for Presencing, he suggests that "to increase your power, you have to reduce it". Saying that we when we make a conscious effort to lower our power, in an interaction, it breaks down the rigidity and creates the space for possibility to occur.

Bridget

19/3/2013 02:27:07 pm

Hi guys

I came across this blog from the Harvard Business Review which connects with Nick's "power of presence" blog. Enjoy!

http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2013/03/what_losing_my_job_taught_me_a.html

B

Nick Wright

20/3/2013 12:41:58 pm

Hi Bridget and thanks for posting the link. It's another great example of the 'power of presence'. With best wishes. Nick

Nick Wright

31/3/2013 12:07:19 am

Hi all. James Scouller just sent me this link to a blog he wrote on Presence which I think expresses it well, particularly his comment that, 'presence is an inner psychospiritual state with an outer reflection...' With best wishes. Nick

Nick Wright

31/3/2013 12:08:07 am

Oops...forgot to add the link! http://www.three-levels-of-leadership.com/blog/self-mastery-2/what-is-leadership-presence/07/04/2011/

Bethania Escotto link

4/4/2013 09:44:44 pm

Hi Nick, thank you very much for so valuable post. I deeply appreciate your reflective words. Only when we really trust in God, awared that all our things are on his hands, then we can be totally present, enjoying the only moment we really have «now» and loving like Jesus. God bless you!

Nick Wright

5/4/2013 01:20:42 am

Hi Bethania and many thanks for such heartwarming feedback. I liked your description of how awareness and trust in God can enable us to be totally present in the now...that certainly resonates with my own experience too. With many blessings. Nick

Sorcha Cashman, PhD MBA link

1/7/2013 04:26:52 am

What a wonderful post Nick, as always insightful and beautifully written, and the layers and layers of feedback are testimony to its impact on its readers.

Like some of your other readers, I am not a traditionally religious person – but I do find and celebrate what I call God in the essence of every person I meet. I have been practicing mindfulness for most of my adult life, and I can really see the core of that mindful here/now/presence in your description of your German friend.

It is some time now since you wrote this post – I would love to hear how the experience of the plethora of feedback itself has manifested in your life, and (if he has seen it) in that of your subject! …perhaps an update blog?!

…with love, light and peace,

Soracha

Nick Wright

1/7/2013 10:06:34 am

Hi Soracha. Thanks for the note and for your encouraging feedback. I can identify with your description of 'not a traditionally religious person'. I see so many examples of where religion actually blocks connectedness with God and with others. Interestingly, it was one of Jesus' main concerns in the New Testament too.

I do feel impacted by the experience of this friend in Germany, by writing about it and by reading so many rich responses on this topic. I think the main influence has been a continual reminder to try to be present to others, God and myself and not to become so distracted by the task that I lose this focus on people.

I would be very interested to hear how you use mindfulness to develop your own here and now presence. Do you have any specific examples, experiences or techniques you would be willing to share? Celebrating God in everyone you meet sounds very Celtic. :) With love, light and peace to you too. Nick

Chops link

19/12/2016 09:46:51 pm

Wonderful thoughts Nick. Thanks, and just to let you know that I love your paraphrase of 1 Cor 13. I will be using that!

As a professional in a Christian organisation challenging participants to complex life changes, the balance between professionalism, faith, and motivation is one I deal with several times per day. Your experience and thoughts have challenged me as to whether I get this balance right, and given me some ideas.

Thank you!