Existential

22/7/2023

‘Human existence is always directed to something, or someone, other than itself – be it a meaning to fulfil, or another human being to encounter lovingly.’ (Viktor Frankl)

Existential coaching is a powerful and introspective approach that can empower individuals and groups to confront life's fundamental questions, find meaning and embrace personal and social responsibility. Rooted in existential philosophy, this coaching method guides clients through self-exploration, enabling them to confront their fears and uncertainties and make authentic choices aligned with their values. Here are some examples of existential coaching questions:

Which aspects of your life feel the most meaningful and purposeful for you at the moment?
What activities most ignite a sense of aliveness and presence in your everyday experiences?
How do you envision your ideal life, and what steps can you take to move towards that vision?
What does relationship mean to you, whether to yourself, to God or to other people or things?
How do you deal with feelings of existential anxiety, or the fear of aloneness or the unknown?
Are there any recurring patterns or beliefs that may be limiting your growth or fulfilment?
What legacy do you wish to leave behind, and how does it impact your current decision-making?
How do you cope with the concept of mortality, and does it affect the way you live your life?
In what ways can you take more responsibility for shaping your own life and finding purpose?

Existential coaching recognizes that we all face inherent dilemmas, and embracing these challenges can lead to personal and social growth. Using this approach, the coach serves as a supportive ally, helping clients to confront their concerns, explore their inner personal-cultural truths and develop a deeper understanding of themselves. The client can learn to navigate life's complexities with greater clarity and intention, leading to a more meaningful and purposeful life.

[Further reading: Monica Hanaway, The Handbook of Existential Coaching Practice (2020); Yannick Jacob, An Introduction to Existential Coaching (2019); Emmy van Deurzen & Monica Hanaway, Existential Perspectives on Coaching (2012)]

20 Comments

Ethan Anderson

23/7/2023 11:04:19 am

Hi Nick. I remember reading your previous blog on this "existential" approach to coaching. The questions you posed then, as now, triggered a profound journey of self-discovery for me!

Nick Wright

23/7/2023 12:18:11 pm

Hi Ethan. Thanks for such encouraging feedback. :) I still continue on my own spiritual-existential journey too.

(I think this may be the blog you are referring to? https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/existential-coaching)

Sofia Rossi

23/7/2023 11:09:24 am

Existential coaching, it's intriguing, but I wonder if it suits everyone's personality and needs. Some people, they seem to be naturally philosophical. Others, they seem more interested in a hard scientific view, in what we can see and touch. I imagine the existential approach, it appeals more to the philosophers, no?

23/7/2023 11:28:18 am

Hi Sophia. I think that's a good point. Yes, I imagine existential coaching, like other different approaches to coaching, will appeal to some people more than to others.

Paul Newton

24/7/2023 09:16:18 am

"Existential" is unnecessary jargon. I'd call it "scratching beneath the surface" coaching.

24/7/2023 09:26:59 am

Hi Paul. Yes, I guess like any language, it can be illuminating for some and blinding for others. On the 'beneath the surface' theme, this short related piece may be of interest? https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/deep

Liam Johnson

23/7/2023 11:11:13 am

Hi Nick. Interesting thoughts as always. Thanks for sharing. I appreciate the philosophy, but I wonder if existential coaching is truly effective.

23/7/2023 11:29:44 am

Hi Liam. You're welcome. That's an interesting question. I guess the answer to the question may depend on what different people and cultures may regard and experience as 'effective'?

Ava Petrov

23/7/2023 11:14:37 am

Hello Nick Wright. I had a coach but it was too limited. It only focused on goals. Existential coaching asks the big questions. It kindled my creativity. I now paint my existence on life's canvas. Embrace the unknown and dance through life!

23/7/2023 11:32:33 am

Hi Ava. Thanks for sharing from personal experience. 'I now paint my existence on life's canvas. Embrace the unknown and dance through life.' I love the way you expressed that so creatively, experientially and artistically! :)

Lucas Martinez

23/7/2023 11:19:38 am

Hi Nick. While existential coaching has its appeal, it may not address immediate practical challenges. I appreciate its focus on purpose but, as a manager, I need concrete steps too. I don't mean to be offensive but it sounds like introspective navel gazing! I question its practicality in achieving tangible goals.

23/7/2023 12:00:43 pm

Hi Lucas. I think that's a fair challenge. In my experience, existential coaching takes a deep dive into fundamental life questions and experiences, e.g. who am I; why am I here? It also focuses on choices and actions that emerge from our reflections on such questions. My sense is that, if we genuinely face such issues openly, honestly and courageously, they will invariably result in concrete outcomes. They can be quite literally life-changing.

Isabella van der Berg

23/7/2023 11:23:35 am

Hi Nick. Existential coaching was new to me but it helped me embark on a profound journey of self-discovery. As I explored life's uncertainties and confronted my fears, I found solace in spirituality. Embracing the existential philosophy led me to discover God and Jesus in a deeply personal way. The coaching process ignited a spiritual awakening within me and I now walk my life path with faith, love and a renewed sense of purpose.

23/7/2023 12:06:22 pm

Hi Isabella. Thanks for sharing openly from your own personal journey. It resonates with my own life journey too. For me, existential and spiritual questions are integrally intertwined. Jesus and relationship with him is the answer to many of the deepest questions for me. In case of interest, I explore some of theses spiritual-existential issues in greater depth in these related short pieces:

https://www.nick-wright.com/spirituality-in-coaching.html
https://www.nick-wright.com/the-coaching-spirit.html
https://www.nick-wright.com/sense-of-destiny.html

Mike Hargreaves

24/7/2023 08:56:06 am

I'm not sure about this approach, Nick. Isn't there a risk that asking these questions about mortality etc. could trigger the existential anxiety that you're talking about? It doesn't feel very safe. If the client takes the questions seriously enough, it could send them into a downward spiral without a way up again. Or am I missing something?

24/7/2023 09:07:43 am

Hi Mike and thank you for posing such insightful and important reflections and questions. What you have described here is exactly the dilemma that many existential philosophers face and experience too (see, for instance: https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/light-in-darkness).

In my experience, if we are to use an existential approach, it's often because that is what a client is already looking for because, deep down, they are already beginning to ask and experience some of these questions for themselves (even if they aren't using words like 'existential' to label them).

Having a trusted existential coach alongside as a 'supportive ally' can mean that the person isn't entering or going deeper into that journey alone. I often find that the deepest questions converge with questions of spirituality too (see, for instance: https://www.nick-wright.com/spirituality-in-coaching.html).

This means careful contracting with a client so that (a) they know and understand what this approach could entail and (b) they 'lead' the focus and boundaries of the journey, rather than having these imposed on them. It's about enabling the client to deepen their awareness and grow in their agency.

24/7/2023 09:22:33 am

Thanks Nick. I've just read your "Light in Darkness". You've really got me thinking. Rather than asking does your approach go to deep, I'm now asking myself if my own approach is too shallow. Can you offer me any guidance??

24/7/2023 09:32:30 am

Thanks Mike. I like the openness and honesty in your response. I guess it depends to a high degree on what the client would find most useful. On the diving deep question, this short related piece may be of interest: https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/diving-deep-in-the-coaching-pool

Drop me a line if you'd like to discuss further?

Mark Levick

26/7/2023 01:45:22 pm

Thanks Nick. Great post! Existential coaching offers clients the means and ways to navigate the inevitable complexities, dilemmas and paradoxes of being human. One of the things I love about existential coaching is that it helps clients to 'get out of their own heads' and back into the realities of their lived experience.

26/7/2023 01:47:40 pm

Thank you for such encouraging feedback, Mark. I like they way you expressed that: 'out of their own heads...and back into the realities of their lived experience.' On that front, this short related piece may resonate: https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/advent-light

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