In the question

23/5/2016

‘Being in the question is wondering what things mean instead of assuming you already know…It involves treating your first thought as a hypothesis rather than as a statement of truth…It means being willing to learn something new about a situation. The first step is to consider the possibility that the situation may not be as it seems.’
(Latting & Ramsey, 2009)

I was encouraged to glance at this book, Reframing Change, recently after having posted a blog on a similar theme. I love the idea of ‘being in the question’. Posing a question is the act of projecting an inquiry outwards. By contrast, being in the question is about our own presence, attitude and stance – a spirit of humility, openness and curiosity – and a willingness to invite challenge.

It’s so different to proposing a solution. At times, we jump to answers too quickly, draw conclusions too rashly and potentially miss a deeper meaning, a greater significance that could change our thinking, our lives, our organisations, our world. This is a high cost of our do-it-now, instant, everything-in-the-moment, high speed culture. We lose the ability to reflect and to…....wait.

Perhaps being in the question is one reason why e.g. Jesus and Socrates had such a profound impact. Perhaps it is why coaching and therapy can be so transformative. Perhaps it is why rediscovering not-knowing is a theme in so many books on leadership and change today. Two questions: How far are you ‘being in the question’? How are you enabling others to be so too?

120 Comments

Carina Veracierto, MA

24/5/2016 09:58:41 am

Love your article! I have found that 'being in the question' presupposes an open frame of mind, letting go of control (control being one of our worst enemies). It is something I learned after life showed me I cannot fix everything and I can only trust that I will be ok despite... A month ago someone in Coaching from Argentina post great exercise, to write the movie about your current life and decide your role (main character or other, director, writer...). I was trying first so hard; and suddenly I decided to leave it like an open question! I have been then more willing to embrace simply the possibility of things and the element of surprise in life.

Nick Wright

24/5/2016 10:15:35 am

Thanks Carina - and thanks for sharing such personal insights and experiences. Yes, I think there is a correlation between 'being in the question' and open-mindedness, a willingness to let go of control and to embrace the possibilities of the moment. It can enhance our here-and-now awareness and improve the quality of contact in our relationships too. I hope you continue to enjoy the element of surprise in life! All the best. Nick

Pamina Mullins

24/5/2016 03:32:51 pm

This is what I love most about coaching, Nick. Using questions as discovery tools allows the client/coachee to formulate their own insights and answers, which is empowering. Mostly we know deep down the answers to our problems, and questioning and reframing gives us access to them. If you tied a toddler's shoe laces for him all the time, because it took too long for him to practice doing it himself, he'd never learn how.

Nick Wright

24/5/2016 03:38:13 pm

Thanks Pamina. I'm curious - how would you distinguish 'being in the question' from, say, 'posing questions'? My sense is that 'being in the question' is something about psychological and emotional attitude - perhaps spiritual - outlook, stance in the moment. It's about being in an open and curious state, within which we are more open to inquire, open to hear, open to learn - and open to questions. Does that resonate for you too? All the best. Nick

Greg Jones

24/5/2016 11:03:08 pm

Nick, I agree that in the "do-it-now, instant gratification" culture the urge to make a snap decision can be detrimental. One of my favorite leadership authors, Sample, encourages readers in The Contrarians Guide to Leadership to think grey about decision making. There is no need to rush to a decision (unless there is grave injury or death), so one should take time to evaluate what is being presented--does it warrant an immediate decision?

Nick Wright

24/5/2016 11:05:35 pm

Hi Greg and thanks for the note. What you shared reminded me of this short recent article by David Silverberg that a colleague shared with me today: 'Are the best bosses the ones who put off difficult decisions?' (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-36312422). Thought-provoking. All the best. Nick

Vince Lunetta

24/5/2016 11:07:37 pm

Sound more like therapy than coaching. While coaching involves questioning, the purpose is to share (direct) what works. Reframing sounds more like a therapy session than coaching. It provides a framework to go to the root cause rather than a solution. Real coaching is making decisions. If the clients uses the recommendation great. If not, then that is OK too.

Nick Wright

24/5/2016 11:14:58 pm

Hi Vince and thanks for posting such a stimulating challenge. It sounds like you have a very specific model of 'coaching' in mind that, in your view, constitutes 'real coaching'. When you mentioned 'share (direct)' and 'recommendation', words like consultancy or, perhaps, mentoring came to mind for me. I tend to associate therapy with emotional and psychological healing. To be in the question in this conversation, for me, could be about being curious about your perspectives, your language, your experiences - rather than presupposing that I know what you mean by them. Does that make sense? All the best again. Nick

Vince Lunetta

25/5/2016 09:30:59 am

Nick - your comments do make sense and we share your view of therapy. Are you in the space of life coaching or business coaching? My response was from a 'frame' of business coaching. Consulting delivers a dimension of expertise versus coaching which includes more guidance. Hope that helps.

Nick Wright

25/5/2016 09:31:55 am

Hi Vince and thanks for the clarification. I work in what could be described as 'business coaching' (i.e. in organisations) and use psychological and process approaches. There may be differences in the language and meaning we are using in our different contexts. In the UK, for instance, there are various models and approaches that different practitioners associate with 'coaching'. We tend to associate 'guidance' with mentoring rather than coaching. How far is that same and different to how these words are used in your context? All the best. Nick

Yolanda Gray

25/5/2016 09:32:40 am

Being or "living" the question means I can peacefully accept that I don't have to know or have all the answers for myself or anyone else. I'm becoming more and more confused about the blurred lines in coaching. I understand consulting perfectly, even mentoring; they are more answers driven. I'm glad for that I depend on someone that I've hired to give me specific direction in my business. Coaching is a about a relationship action driven, accountability to each other, and then following through--both parties. It is challenging to stay in my lane, ha!

Nick Wright

25/5/2016 09:44:25 am

Hi Yolanda and thanks for such an honest and personal response. I encounter people and organisations in my work that attach very different meanings to words such as coaching, mentoring, consulting etc. The literature in these areas is also complex with different writers claiming different authoritative definitions. For me, to 'be in the question' in this field, is to approach each client and situation with a spirit of openness and curiosity - as far as I can, e.g.: what does the client need; what does this situation call for; what can I offer; how might we do this together etc. This helps avoid getting stuck or experiencing misunderstandings created by language and terminology. I love your final comment! :) All the best. Nick

Ram Kumar

25/5/2016 09:45:22 am

Hi Nick.......i strongly advocate 'questioning method' during my training/mentoring program...'why and why not' are two most important questions i keep asking........question which JESUS asked HIS disciples "Who do you think I AM"........has a profound and deeper significance...likewise Socratic method teaching too......

Nick Wright

25/5/2016 09:49:13 am

Hi Ram and thanks for the note. Yes, 'Why?' and 'Why not?' can be powerful questions. I think it also depends on the place we ask those questions from. For instance, I could ask someone a question from a 'being in the question' state, in which case I'm genuinely curious. I could also ask the same question from a 'being in the answer' state, in which case I may believe I already have the answer. The intention and impact are different and can evoke a different dynamic and response. Does that make sense? All the best. Nick

Angela J. Penteado, eMBA

25/5/2016 09:50:16 am

It's an interesting observation on how reframing could lead into opinions and counsel from the coach,however in the executive coaching model I've journeyed in, the reframing is all about what the coachee and what they've shared. It's completely client focused and is about them, and it involves opening them up through open, reflective questions. It's generally future focused and about assisting them in goal setting etc if a coach jumps in with their thoughts it can drown out the creative thinking process.

Nick Wright

25/5/2016 09:58:00 am

Hi Angela and thanks for the note. Yes, what you have described here is very similar to how I see coaching and, therefore, the role of the coach. In your experience of executive coaching, what does 'being in the question' look like when working with your clients and, in terms of 'opening them up' (which we could reframe as 'creating a space, relationship and process that enables them to open themselves up'), how do you enable them to do the same? I hope that makes sense? For me, it's something about co-creating an experience of discovery for the client that enables them to know things they didn't know before, although at some level they already did without knowing it. That sounds weirdly paradoxical! All the best. Nick

Coaching Development

25/5/2016 09:58:57 am

Liking the concept of 'being in the question' and taking the time to think things through. That seems very similar to the concept of 'drilling down' into the issue in coaching, so the client gains greater awareness and recognises wider skills, resources and options.

Nick Wright

25/5/2016 10:03:18 am

Hi Coaching Development. Thanks for the note. My sense is that 'drilling down' is a technique that a coach may use, and/or enable the client to use, in a coaching conversation. For me, 'being in the question' is more about a psychological, emotional (and maybe spiritual and physical) state that leads to an open, curious stance in the coaching relationship. Your note has prompted me to think about how coach and client can co-create a 'being in the question' state whilst working together that influences the stance that each is willing to take, the dynamic that emerges between them and the outcomes that result from the encounter. What do you think? All the best. Nick

Susan Scholtz

25/5/2016 10:04:46 am

In ORSC we call it 'global listening' to hear more than what is said...

Nick Wright

25/5/2016 10:06:04 am

Thanks Susan. I like the idea of hearing 'more than what is said'. I'm curious - can you say a bit more about what 'global listening' entails in practice? All the best. Nick

Susan Scholtz

25/5/2016 07:38:09 pm

Hi Nick, relationship systems coaching deals with relationship systems, being it personal, partners or teams. Global listening deals with a much broader concept than mere listening, it deals with listening to 'what is not said'. A variety of skills is covered during coach training, which includes aspects like signals the client sends ( a real stronghold of ORSC), non verbal communication and reading the emotional field of clients. With partners and teams, focus is placed on deep democracy and hearing the voice of the system, rather than that of the individual. A relationship system starts with the complex system of the 'self' and before one understand and is able to deal with your own complex emotional experiences, one can't align with what the relationship system needs.

Nick Wright

25/5/2016 07:40:03 pm

Hi Susan. Your approach sounds fascinating to me, especially as I work in organisation development (systemics, dynamics etc) as well as in coaching. Do you have an example you would be willing to share to show what your approach could look like in practice? Thanks and best wishes. Nick

Susan Scholtz

26/5/2016 11:39:48 am

With pleasure! I just need to stress the fact that a number of skills and tools are developed during an intensive and focused training program.
The work you are doing is exactly what the focus of ORSC is. Different problems are dealt with by using different tools. It is very powerful to coach the 'third entity'. So, coach the relationship system rather than the individuals involved.
If you want to provide me with a scenario, we can work from there for specifics.
In a broader sense, the approach focus on placing the issue 'outside' the individuals, find common interests and let them view it 'from a distance'.
For example, if if change is needed within a system or a team, the metaphor of 'traveling' is used. Conflicting points of view is used to depict different 'lands' and each party is invited to 'visit' the other party's 'land' and hear how they 'see' it. This process opens an understanding on how each party experience the change process.

Nick Wright

26/5/2016 11:44:26 am

Thanks Susan. Very useful. I often use the 'place the issue outside the individuals' method in my team coaching practice. I refer to it as 'speaking from an observing place.' For example: 'If you were to observe this conversation from a different part of the room, what would you notice about each of us and what is happening between us?' It can be particularly useful when participants feel stuck or are enacting familiar and repeating patterns of behaviour. Is that what you mean by 'coaching the relationship system'? All the best. Nick

Derek McMullen, M.S.

25/5/2016 01:22:33 pm

I totally agree that being inquisitive will always help in the long run when trying to help coach, solve problems and/or improve things in general. Being "in the question" will always put you in an objective state of thinking that counteracts early assumptions and biases. This can not only help you understand the real story at hand, but will help make a stronger case for your strategies when you design interventions.

Great topic Nick! If you haven't heard of it you might enjoy reading about "growth mindset vs. fixed mindset" too by Carol Dweck.

Nick Wright

25/5/2016 01:29:23 pm

Hi Derek and thanks for the note. I haven't heard of Carol Dweck's work so I'll Google it. Your note prompted me to think about how curiosity can be a double-edged sword in coaching (see: http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/just-enough), especially if it draws us too far into the client's story rather than enabling us to focus on the here-and-now relationship, dynamics and process. All the best. Nick

Theresa Condon

25/5/2016 02:54:19 pm

Great read, insight and thought provoking. Thank you.

Nick Wright

25/5/2016 02:54:46 pm

Thanks for your kind feedback, Theresa. All the best. Nick

Allison Garner

25/5/2016 02:57:36 pm

I attended an ICF webinar last week where a mentor coach described 2 types of questions. The first type is nosy questions, which are about the story the second type is coaching questions which is about the client. I found this distinction very helpful in my coaching practice.

Nick Wright

25/5/2016 03:03:04 pm

Thanks Allison. That does sound like a helpful distinction. In my own practice, I look out for tempting questions such as, 'Tell me a bit more about that...' If I head off down that track, it's usually because I'm in 'nosy' mode or have slipped into believing that, if they could tell me more, I could better understand and solve it for them!

I find Latting & Ramsey's idea of 'being in the question' useful and though-provoking because it speaks to me about the mental and emotional state I'm in and how that influences my stance, the position from which and the implicit intention behind any questions I may pose. Does that make sense? All the best. Nick

E.G.Sebastian (CPC)

25/5/2016 03:57:23 pm

Brilliant Question -- I'll have to chew on that and commit to that :)
(to treat my initial reaction as a hypothesis, rather than "knowing" it to be a fact).

Nick Wright

25/5/2016 03:57:57 pm

Thanks E.G. - what a great role model!! ;) All the best. Nick

Jeanne Hartley

25/5/2016 07:42:34 pm

Hi Nick, I find that when I am able to be in the question, I feel so much more in flow. Discovery is all around me and my hope is to share that with my client. Thanks for the great insight.

Nick Wright

25/5/2016 07:44:03 pm

Thanks Jeanne for expressing that so beautifully. Yes, that resonates with my experience too. It's as if, for me, in those moments, everything is in alignment and flows naturally from that place. All the best. Nick

Hemant R. Chalke

25/5/2016 10:10:38 pm

Hi Nick. I guess its all about continuous learning n not thinking that one is perfect n knows everything. You never know that you might end up Learning from the most unexpected person you meet someday. Sometimes in a classroom full of new security officers, when i throw a question, i end up learning more than the class. Times have changed. Mindsets have changed. I guess its absolutely necessary to have INCLUSION as one of your classrooms and your leadership traits / approach. When u ask a question to your team, a lot of ideas come up rather than just being the boss n doing what comes to your mind rather than listening. Same way in a classroom I prefer having ppl think more n guv answers rather than me TELLING them about it. This keeps it lively n a two way communication is established. I have always practised this all my life n encouraged my teams to do the same. In this process of INCLUSION, the team feels involved, more ideas come out, learning takes place all around. Hence, "being in the question" is very beneficial in a training / learning practice.

Nick Wright

25/5/2016 10:13:43 pm

Thanks, Hemant, for sharing such a great personal example of 'being in the question' in a classroom environment. It sounds like your approach is rooted in your beliefs and values around inclusion and a spirit of humility which influences your attitude and stance with the group. Many thanks! All the best. Nick

Susan Scholtz

26/5/2016 12:27:15 pm

A more specific example might be:
A client had to deal with a merger and all the complexities and fears surrounding it.
So in a team setting, each individual was invited to share his fears and concerns. Two opposing views were identified on the crucial issues at stake, and 'land work' was done. This opened the communication channels on each party to experience the 'position' of the other. The meta-skill of respect and the voice of the system emerged, and the system (all members of the team) were able to take the process forward and develop action steps to accommodate the fears of both parties- and that of all stakeholders.
The global listening skills of the coach needs to focus on signals from participants that indicates a shift in the emotional field, for example, should an individual folds his arms, a shift has taken place and the coach needs to acknowledge it and move the system forward. This 'shift' is then utilized to focus on what 'needs to emerge' from the system itself.

Nick Wright

26/5/2016 12:27:54 pm

Thanks for sharing such a great example, Susan. That sounds very 'Gestalt' to me. Are you familiar with Gestalt field theory? All the best. Nick

Lakshmidevi Vasudevan

27/5/2016 09:59:48 am

Hi Nick, Thanks for sharing this. I was reading "Power of now" and had this reflection of why people don't stay in the moment which gives so much of insight. Especially when it happens to me internally, I have seen people dismissing it as they need to move on to next activity or finding it difficult to stay on. Thinking predominates or time structure is more important for them than what's happening in the present. Movement is to past or future. At personal level, I seek answers and sometime get impatient in arriving at a solution sooner and acting out than waiting. Trusting the space and flow has given immense strength to witness than seek answers.

Nick Wright

27/5/2016 10:09:31 am

Thanks you, Lakshmidevi. I really like your reflections. I received a note from an African friend recently in which she said, quite simply: 'The past only exists in our memory. The future only exists in our imagination. The only time that truly exists is now.' I found that very profound - and quite liberating! I'm also noticing the power of focusing on the 'here and now in coaching rather than being distracted or preoccupied by the client's situation that we could describe, by contrast as 'there and then'. In my experience, it takes practice to stay in the moment: to pause, breath and notice. Being in the moment makes it easier for me to be in the question. All the best. Nick

Balamurugan Ponnuswamy

27/5/2016 10:14:54 am

Thanks Nick for sharing this. personally I've gained a lot from this approach despite being branded a "quieter one" in meeting.

Nick Wright

27/5/2016 10:22:17 am

Thanks Balamurugan. I think you post an interesting reflection. 'Being branded a 'quieter one'' sounds like something projected onto you by others and may say as much about the meetings culture as about you... In meetings where speaking up is valued, perhaps because it enables others in the room to know where you are, I have learned to articulate where I am in the moment, even if it is simply to say, 'I'm still reflecting on this'. Does that resonate with your experience too? All the best. Nick

Deepali Shah (MA, MSc, MA, CIPD)

27/5/2016 10:44:41 am

Nick Wright and Susan Scholtz, this is a very interesting exchange, enjoyed the depth of communication and transparency. Thank you for sharing!!!

Nick Wright

27/5/2016 10:45:38 am

Thanks Deepali (and Susan). I'm learning a lot through this conversation - and feeling inspired by it! :) All the best. Nick

Susan Scholtz

29/5/2016 05:18:10 pm

Yip Nick! Thanx Deepali! Yes, indeed I am. That is exactly what systems coaching is about. The 'whole' is much bigger than the individual 'parts'.
And again, yes Nick, however individual perceptions might still be on the forefront, and when we work with teams, the first step will be to allign the team toward uniform goals and objectives. The main focus in ORSC is to ensure that the 'me' becomes the 'we'. Of course some hiccups might occur, but we have a number of tools to deal with conflict situations as well.
Thanx for this interesting discussion!

Andrea Avila

27/5/2016 11:08:50 am

Thanks for sharing, Nick!! This brought me back to coaching training proposed ways of approaching life. A jewel.

Nick Wright

27/5/2016 11:10:06 am

Thank you, Andrea!! I would love to hear any insights you have from your coaching training. Any examples? All the best. Nick

Rod "RJ" Nafziger

27/5/2016 02:10:05 pm

A great model for leadership. Answers are arrived at and education is achieved. Most important everyone is engaged in the belief, seeking a common outcome.

Nick Wright

27/5/2016 02:11:25 pm

Thanks Rod. I think being engaged is a key aspect and outcome of being in the question. All the best. Nick

Joan Ramstedt, PCC

27/5/2016 08:59:36 pm

I absolutely love this! This is where the juice flows from...

Nick Wright

27/5/2016 09:00:26 pm

Thanks Joan! :) All the best. Nick

Ameet Mattoo

28/5/2016 08:33:37 pm

Nick, in my experience, their seems to be a social and professional (unsaid) norm that we need to be in control, have answers and look strong. Not knowing seems to be a sign of weakness. Hence the need to rush to fix things, have answers, settle at conclusions. State of of not knowing, having a momentary confusion is very unsettling for people. When i coach people, i try to work on this anxiety and challenge this norm of having all the answers all the time and make them realize the load and stress it gives. I also work on establishing that being vulnerable is a sign of strength and not an indication of weakness. Only when i am able to bring in this norm - both for myself and for my clients - do we feel comfortable in not knowing for sure, be tentative and arouse a sense of curiosity.

Nick Wright

28/5/2016 08:36:02 pm

Many thanks for sharing such thoughtful insights, Ameet. I wonder if you may find this related blog interesting too: http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/not-knowing Let me know if that resonates for you? All the best. Nick

Roland Stockton

29/5/2016 05:06:57 pm

I enjoyed the article, similar in a way to learning to listen, most people are busy thinking of the reply to give rather than listening first.

Nick Wright

29/5/2016 05:07:54 pm

Thanks Roland - and nicely put. All the best. Nick

Susan Wheaton

29/5/2016 05:09:48 pm

Wonderful read...thought provoking and timely today.

Nick Wright

29/5/2016 05:10:24 pm

Thanks for such heartwarming feedback, Susan. :) All the best. Nick

Tim Morris

29/5/2016 05:11:18 pm

To be in the question takes talent and poise. With all of the questions that are asked I feel that we as a people quickly find that a shotgun answer is usually best. Bring mindful is mindful.

Nick Wright

29/5/2016 05:11:57 pm

Thanks Tim. 'Talent and poise'. I like that! All the best. Nick

Judy Krings, Ph.D.,PCC

29/5/2016 05:12:43 pm

Good one. In deep listening, we are also trusting ourselves to BE with our client not think about outcomes. It is a joy to trust what arises. Thanks much!

Nick Wright

29/5/2016 05:16:16 pm

Thank you, Judy! Yes, there's something for me about being with the client, being truly present, that can be transformational in itself. It's mysterious and, as you say,' a joy to trust what arises'. Your reflections reminded me of something I tried to express in a previous blog: http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/the-power-of-presence Let me know if that resonates for you too? All the best. Nick

Judy Krings, Ph.D.,PCC

31/5/2016 01:49:17 pm

Thanks for your link on PRESENCE, Nick. I enjoyed it.

Dineen Carta

29/5/2016 11:55:05 pm

This is an excellent article and a wonderful reminder that even as coaches and guides, inquiry and being open to what arises from this inquiry into " what is true" for me, for you, for the world may be different from our assumptions, from each other, and from today or tomorrow. Being with the question allows what's real to emerge, and keeps us in a state of presence. Realizing I don't have the "right" answer is what keeps me humble. It also frees me from searching for one. It allows me, my client or anyone I'm currently sharing with to remain in the Mystery and that's where the "juice " is!!

There is a great quote by Rainer Maria Rilke about "Living the Questions " . I have it tacked to my fridge. Maybe you already know it Nick. If not, google it. You will love!

Nick Wright

29/5/2016 11:59:25 pm

Many thanks for such affirming feedback, Dineen. I agree with you that there's something very important about presence here and I love your sense of 'remaining in the Mystery.' I looked up Rilke's quotation: 'Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.' Very inspiring - and thank you for signposting it! All the best. Nick

Sekararajan Balagurunathan

30/5/2016 10:56:07 am

I would like to give my best answer and expect to be appreciated if not i will become less less involved.

Gerhard Schwarz

30/5/2016 10:56:57 am

My own experience reflects that of Hermant, I have found that being humble and open to others views and opinions extremely beneficial. If you are open to these views and stay "being in the question" you will be amazed at how much you learn and the breadth of experience you gain. I was fortunate early in my training career to learn that I did not have all the answers or best answers or even the only answer lol. I believe that I became a far better trainer, employee and supervisor from this experience. I have also found that this approach tends to generate far more discussion in a group and more often than not results in an answer far superior to the initial ones proposed or any that I could provide alone. As for the "quite ones" as Balamurugan refers to, these are the truly under appreciated folks within a meeting or training session as my experience has been they have a great deal to offer but unfortunately at times are over shadowed by the more boisterous within the group.

Nick Wright

30/5/2016 10:59:18 am

Hi Gerhard and thanks for sharing such personal reflections and insights. It strikes me in this conversation that at the heart of 'being in the question' lay humility, curiosity and presence. Does that resonate with your experience too? All the best. Nick

Gerhard Schwarz

30/5/2016 04:57:44 pm

I would agree with that summation along with truly liking and being interested in people.

Nick Wright

30/5/2016 04:58:48 pm

Thanks Gerhard. Yes, truly liking and being interested in people certainly helps! All the best. Nick

Gillian Pearson

30/5/2016 11:01:18 am

Great topic. Great discussion. And food for thought. Thank you to all .

Nick Wright

30/5/2016 11:01:46 am

Thanks Gillian. All the best. Nick

Karen Joy Langley

30/5/2016 08:34:47 pm

Hi Nick ...For me the process of just 'being' with a client is not just mysterious & a joy to watch ...but also quite 'magical'. It reminds me that no matter what process you use, therapy, coaching etc our work is like a series of venn diagram -
there's the sweet spot in the middle that we have in common - and this place creates the most amazing transformation for clients. Depending on what you believe in ...some might say it's a spiritual experience.

Nick Wright

30/5/2016 08:38:13 pm

Thanks Karen. I can certainly relate to that sense of 'magical'. Your reflections reminded me of a previous blog I posted on Presence. I'd be interested to hear if that resonates with you, with what you are describing here: http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/the-power-of-presence All the best. Nick

Karen Joy Langley

30/5/2016 09:11:30 pm

Will definitely have a read Nick ....I think we are on the same 'page' :)

Carl Bishop

30/5/2016 08:39:10 pm

Being in the question, interesting and revealing ; now I have to reconsider many things.

Nick Wright

30/5/2016 08:39:49 pm

Thanks Carl. That sounds intriguing to me. Would you be willing to say more..? All the best. Nick

Carl Bishop

30/5/2016 09:12:56 pm

There was a time that I encouraged being in the question, but the environment was one of instruction and not production. I think that the environment has a profound effect on one's ability or rather willingness to consider the entire realm of solution. With practice of course you could become better at being in the question. For myself, I am approaching a change, therefore I need to be more about the question and allow the solution to manifest instead of being determined.

Nick Wright

30/5/2016 09:20:15 pm

Hi Carl and thanks for sharing further insights. Your experience makes me wonder what the interplay is between personal and cultural 'being in the question' and how , as coaches, we can enable clients to surface and address cultural as well as personal 'being in the question' where this would be beneficial. It sounds like you are facing your own important questions at the moment. I hope a life-giving solution emerges into awareness for you as you wait in the question. All the best. Nick

Ken Gilbert

31/5/2016 10:14:30 am

Yes yes!!

Nick Wright

31/5/2016 10:15:15 am

Hi Ken. You made me smile. :) I guess that's a 'yes' then?! All the best. Nick

Jacki McMeeking

31/5/2016 10:16:38 am

This is interesting.

Nick Wright

31/5/2016 10:17:46 am

Thanks Jacki. I'm curious...what captured your attention or imagination in this..? I'd be interested to hear more. All the best. Nick

Danielia Burger

31/5/2016 10:19:14 am

Being in the question.....relates to my willingness to be real and totally committed to my clients authentic growth...that's the core of any meaningful question...

Nick Wright

31/5/2016 10:20:13 am

Nicely put, Danielia. All the best. Nick

Teri Johnson

31/5/2016 10:21:05 am

I love what I call, "living into the question" - allowing the question to inform where else I look and see relationships that have a thread back to the original question. I find when I hold a question in mind like that, the Universe finds a way to present a lot of synchronistic pieces to me in a very short time. When my clients accept the invitation to do this, they are almost always surprised at how much clarity has been gained over a week or two.

Nick Wright

31/5/2016 10:26:04 am

Hi Teri. I love that: 'living in the question'. Thank you. :) I'm curious. when you say, 'the Universe finds a way to present a lot of synchronistic pieces to me', it sounds a lot like how I think about how God influences what I notice and experience in my life. What does 'the Universe' mean to you? All the best. Nick

Dan Glimm

31/5/2016 01:13:06 pm

Thanks for creating yet another buzz word.

Nick Wright

31/5/2016 01:13:37 pm

Thanks Dan. :) Tell me...did that response come from 'being in the question' or 'being in the answer'? All the best. Nick

Mark Magerman, PhD, LCSW, BCD

31/5/2016 08:31:51 pm

Well said, Nick!

Nick Wright

31/5/2016 08:32:19 pm

Thanks Mark! All the best. Nick

Ira M. Levin, Ph.D.

31/5/2016 08:33:40 pm

"Being in the Question" is an essential set of competencies for the effective and creative practice of OD. Raising questions that often go unsaid has always been an important function for the OD practitioner. But our modeling of being genuinely curious and appreciative of what we may not know is a true aspect of authenticity. However, sometimes the pressures associated with being recognized (and paid for) as a specialized subject matter expertise may push us to neglect this.

Nick Wright

31/5/2016 08:39:49 pm

Hi Ira and thanks for the note. I think you raise important issues around curiosity, appreciative of not-knowing and authenticity. I also think you raise an important point about how, at times, OD practitioners can feel pressured or face expectations that may push them to neglect this. There's something for me in this, which links with the notion of authenticity, that calls for us to be courageous as we explore with a client what we and they believe will add most value. It also means sometimes challenging ourselves and influencing the client to 'be in the question' as we contract together around our work. Easier said than done when recognition and payment are at stake! All the best. Nick

Aremin Hacobian

1/6/2016 09:57:22 am

Very well stated Nick! You've captured the essence of the distinction between OD and Management/Expert consulting.

Nick Wright

1/6/2016 09:58:18 am

Thanks Aremin! Perhaps it also captures the essence of the similarity between OD and coaching..? All the best. Nick

Jonathan Gottlieb, Ph.D.

1/6/2016 02:19:23 pm

Is "being in the question" any different from being intellectually curious? Effective OD practitioners must balance intellectual curiosity with questions that will ultimately be helpful to their clients. And as Ira Levin suggests, there's a second balancing of asking questions and providing sound advice.

Nick Wright

1/6/2016 02:22:52 pm

Hi Jonathan and thanks for posing such an interesting question from within the question! :) I think of 'intellectual curiosity' as a primarily rational activity. For me, being in question incorporates that along with an emotional awareness and (at times, physical) commitment that we could express as 'stance'. Does that make sense? All the best. Nick

Steve Kopp

1/6/2016 09:41:37 pm

There's a lovely song that one of my mentors has used in closing a week-long intensive: This comes from the song 'The question' on Mark Kelso's CD Human Heart:
I live in the question
I don’t know the answer
I don’t walk in straight lines
I am a dancer
I live in the question
I can’t tell you why
And if I said I knew
It’d just be a lie.

Nick Wright

1/6/2016 09:42:21 pm

Thanks Steve. Love it!! :) All the best. Nick

Paul Eyres

3/6/2016 10:41:47 am

Nice post Nick. I'm reminded of the Wilfred Bion quote "the answer is the death of the question".

Nick Wright

3/6/2016 10:44:54 am

Thanks Paul. Great quotation! It reminds me of Thomas Aquinas who argued, similarly, that questions set the mind on a journey, a quest, whereas answers bring that journey to a halt. There's something about being in the question, facing a great question, that can set a person on a journey of discovery. All the best. Nick

Ana Lúcia Barros

10/6/2016 02:33:49 pm

Perfect definition: Being in the question. It's a pity that portuguese langague doesn't have a similar word to express it.

Nick Wright

10/6/2016 02:35:11 pm

Thanks Ana. 'Being in the question' can sound a bit strange in the English language too! Perhaps you can invent a Portuguese expression that captures the essence of it? All the best. Nick

Diana Wood M.Ed., Counseling

13/6/2016 07:42:22 pm

I recently learned the phrase "intuitive response", which sounds similar. When a client says something, it's the initial thought or spark of insight that happens in the coach's head, before you start consciously analyzing what they mean. I often let that subtle voice help me formulate my next question. It keeps me more in tune with the place the client is occupying.

Nick Wright

13/6/2016 08:09:12 pm

Thanks Diana. I haven't heard that expression before and I like it! It reminds me of something I often hear from trainee coaches after practice sessions: 'I had this intuition forming at the back of my mind and, yet, for some reason I didn't say it.' It's as if, culturally, we have learned to trust rational-cognitive thoughts rather than mysterious-feeling intuitions. In my own experience, the most transformational insights often (although not always) emerge from the latter rather than the former. Does that reflect anything of your experience too? All the best. Nick

Diana Wood M.Ed., Counseling

15/6/2016 09:00:43 am

Hi Nick. It does reflect my experience with people and situations in all areas of my life. I wouldn't say that I ignore, or would advise others to ignore, more concrete thoughts and information. I just prefer to test the intuitive insights with people before I proceed to the facts, because they usually lead the communication to a deeper level.

Justine Daunis, VP

13/6/2016 08:10:28 pm

Thanks for the reflection! I really like the approach of transitioning the first thought to a hypothesis.

Peter Rodgers

14/6/2016 10:56:02 am

To me observing this gift of "Being in the question" creates a place of trust and rapport for the client to be acknowledged for their thoughts and feelings. The effect of this causation can then move to "Being in their answer" then this gives the client the space to share their beliefs, understandings, values and self efficacy. Their answer can be challenged, clarified and enhanced as you the coach can share the moment rather than sitting outside looking in.

Nick Wright

14/6/2016 11:00:23 am

Hi Peter and thanks for sharing interesting reflections on being in the question and being in the answer. Latting & Ramsey's idea of 'being in the answer' is a stance that says, 'I already know'. It's a state that, in effect, closes us to learning. I have the sense you are using 'being in the answer' differently, to signify something like a shift in the client's awareness with the coach as facilitator of that process. Have I understood you correctly? All the best. Nick

Melissa Robaina, MBA

17/6/2016 10:00:21 am

What a great question and reflection/discussion! Thank you for sharing Nick. I may pose this question to others, citing you, of course, for the remarkable question!

Nick Wright

17/6/2016 10:00:58 am

Thanks Melissa! You made me smile. :) All the best. Nick

Angela Petridis

18/6/2016 12:11:53 pm

Love the article and everyone's comments, thanks.

Nick Wright

18/6/2016 12:12:24 pm

Thanks Angela. All the best. Nick

Cath Norris, MA, BA, Dip Couns

18/6/2016 02:26:40 pm

Nick, I believe that being in the question requires letting go of left brain, cognitive reasoning. If we invite ourselves into a right brain relational position then we are better able to hold space and 'relate' to what has been said whilst we wait to be moved by what really wants and needs to emerge. I personally do this by coming out of my head and dropping into my guts and my physicality. From there I get a very different 'sense' of questions where I can filter out conditioned responses and work more intuitively.

Nick Wright

18/6/2016 02:31:40 pm

Thanks Cath - and beautifully expressed. :) I can't remember if I have mentioned this to you before, but you may find aspects of this case study interesting? http://www.nick-wright.com/just-do-it.html All the best. Nick

Cath Norris, MA, BA, Dip Couns

20/6/2016 11:40:05 pm

Yes, you've shared it with me but great to re-visit it, thanks.

Just saw this and thought you might like it :)

http://www.ultrakulture.com/2015/10/15/dadirri-australian-aboriginal-spiritual-practice-of-deep-listening-for-trauma-release-healing/

Nick Wright

20/6/2016 11:40:33 pm

Thanks Cath. I clearly wasn't in the question when I shared it with you last time. ;) Thanks for the link - interesting! All the best. Nick

Dr Joanna Wilde

22/6/2016 08:24:22 pm

Nice post-and a challenge-I find that the outcome of a good question is not an 'answer' but the capacity for considered action from those who participated in the inquiry based dialogue it invoked ....being in the question is not only about the mental state of curiosity but also the practical wisdom of trial and error.

Nick Wright

22/6/2016 08:29:47 pm

Hi Joanna. Thanks for the challenge - I really like the way you expressed that! It reminds me of action research, action learning, reflective practice etc. All the best. Nick

Eric Lynn

22/6/2016 08:30:26 pm

How far are you ‘being in the question’? How are you enabling others to be so too? ... Great Questions Nick.

Nick Wright

22/6/2016 08:31:02 pm

Thanks for the encouraging feedback, Eric. All the best. Nick

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