‘Isn’t it curious how question has quest at its heart?’ (Brian Watts) This was a great question. It set my mind on a quest, a journey of discovery, and it was intended to do so. It wasn’t a question inviting information, an immediate response, a simple answer. It was intended to stimulate, intrigue, inspire.
Some of the world’s greatest teachers have used questions powerfully to evoke and achieve transformation. Jesus asked so many questions that Gempf wrote a whole book on it: Jesus Asked. Socrates the philosopher is famous for posing questions too: the Socratic method. Aquinas observed that good questions have a way of creating uncertainty, restlessness, momentum. By contrast, once we achieve an answer that satisfies, our minds come to a halt. Is that why God leaves so many questions unanswered, to invite us on a dynamic, profound journey of faith? We shouldn’t be surprised, therefore, that good questions often lie at the heart of good therapy, good coaching, good organisation development, good international development. Finding the right questions, the quantum questions, is often the key to unlocking transformative results. In coaching, good questions are often about enabling the client to see him or herself, his or her situation, through fresh eyes. In this sense, it’s about enabling the client to gain fresh in-sight. Questions are often about challenging assumptions, reframing, enabling paradigm shifts. Questions can also be used to explore emotional experience. ‘How are you feeling?’ Or to surface intuition. ‘What is your intuition telling you?’, ‘What’s your hunch?’. They can also move a person towards action. ‘What would motivate you to do this?’, ‘What are your next steps?’ Some questions are good for framing and focusing a conversation. ‘What would be good use of this time for you?’, ‘What’s the most important thing for us to focus on?’, ‘What do you hope to have achieved by the end of this meeting?’, ‘How would you like us to do this?’ Social constructionism poses fundamental questions. ‘What has led you to see things in the way you do?’, ‘Where do your beliefs come from?’, ‘What cultural and contextual assumptions does your language reveal?’, ‘How could you reconstruct this scenario into something quite different?’ Some questions invite a deeper spiritual dimension. ‘How would it be if we were to pray about this?’, ‘How far is this course of action consistent with Biblical principles?’, ‘What ethical issues does this raise?’, ‘If Jesus was physically present with you now, what would he ask you to do?’ One of the best questions I’ve found is simply, ‘What’s really going on here?’ Susie Orbach, social psychotherapist, wrote a good book by that title. It invites exploration of an issue from a wide range of perspectives, personal, social and political, drawing on rationality and intuition. Gestalt psychology hints at great questions. ‘What are you aware of?’, ‘What is holding your attention?’, ‘What are you not noticing?’, ‘What assumptions are you making?’, ‘What do you need to be effective in this situation’, ‘What would improve the quality of contact between us?’ Coaches in a workplace can ask all sorts of powerful questions too. ‘Where is your focus at the moment?’, 'What's the goal you are working towards?', ‘What should take priority?’, ‘Where can you be more proactive?’, ‘What do you need to do right now?’, ‘What have you learnt from this that you can use?’ ‘What should we be celebrating?’, ‘Where do you feel most challenged?’, ‘Where is the greatest return on your effort?’, ‘How can you make more use of what is working?’, ‘What is the most important thing for you to change?’, ‘What would you most like to improve?’ The list goes on... ‘What really excites you about this?’, ‘Where could you show greater leadership?’, ‘What is your deadline?’, ‘What options do you have?’, ‘What are the pros and cons?’, ‘Who will you need on board to achieve this?’, ‘What support will you need to be successful?’ I’m fascinated by how the quality of a good question, alongside the quality of the relationship, the intention behind the question and the spirit in which it is posed, can be so impactful. And I’m keen to find out more. So, please tell me, what’s the best question you have asked, used or received?
13 Comments
Alok Dubey
28/4/2012 08:19:09 am
Thanks a lot, Nick for sharing the thought provoking piece. Regards. Alok
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Nick Wright
28/4/2012 08:19:48 am
Thanks Alok - glad you found it thought provoking. With best wishes. Nick
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Judy Rosemarin
28/4/2012 08:21:16 am
So, your post intrigued me and I went online to see synonyms to explore "quest" and on that quest I discovered that there is a now visual thesarus! Thanks for the quest! Judy
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Nick Wright
28/4/2012 08:21:51 am
Thanks Judy. :) Where did you find the visual thesarus? Intriguing. Nick
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Felicity O'Hanlon
30/4/2012 04:22:32 pm
Great article Nick. Yes I agree and think that coaching is basically about asking effective questions. Questions that do more than just ask for basic answers, questions that take us to a place of mind expanding possibilities, questions that shift our perspective, help us to side step self doubt and help us to get out of the drama of everyday circumstances and look at our life anew.
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Nick Wright
30/4/2012 04:33:02 pm
Hi Felicity. Thanks for the helpful comments. I think you explain well how posing good questions can evoke deep insight, ownership and commitment. I love the examples from Jesus. You may find Conrad Gempf's book interesting: 'Jesus Asked'. The parole officer example reminded me of the '7 Why' technique which I, too, have found powerful when working with clients. I haven't come across the book you mentioned by Debbie Ford so I will look out for it. I like the questions in your final paragraph. A coach friend asks something along similar lines: 'What is the impact you want to have in the world?' With best wishes. Nick
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Felicity O'Hanlon
1/5/2012 10:33:06 am
Hi Nick, I would be interested in Conrad Gempf's book and will look out for it. I have just realised that I comment on this subgroup forum on LinkedIn which is about Coaching Psychology Research - about which I know precious little! Perhaps I should stick to the International Society Forum. Even so, I know quite a bit about coaching but not much about Coaching Psychology although I teach Psychology as a subject. If appropriate for this forum, may I ask what are the fundamental differences between straightforward coaching and coaching Psychology. I am guessing the latter is not therapeutic, as in necessary for emotional well being or recovery from trauma but rather about development, both individual and organisational. If so, how does it stand apart from the self development movement?
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Nick Wright
1/5/2012 10:34:13 am
Hi Felicity. Good question on coaching psychology. When you compare and contrast psychological coaching with 'straightforward' coaching, I guess it depends on what specific models or approaches you had in mind. Psychological coaching typically pays attention to the client's psychological processes intrapersonally and interpersonally, sometimes with reference to the wider context or 'field'.
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Anapaula Lagarriga
2/5/2012 09:28:16 am
In my experience coaching and psychology go hand in hand. When I am coaching business owners my belief is that results are outcomes of actions/decisions they have made which are based on behaviours stemming from their mindset/cognition. All of which are formed through their identity based on their attitude, beliefs, values, experiences and environment. Questions are a crucial component of coaching that allows clients to arrive to their own conclusions which makes a greater impact on clients than telling them what to do and how to do it.
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Nick Wright
2/5/2012 09:29:32 am
Thanks Anapaula for such a clear and helpful response. I too believe that business decisions are a result of conversations within and between people that draw on, reflect and sometimes reinforce personal and cultural beliefs, values motivations etc. In light of this, psychological approaches to coaching can bring particular business insights and benefits that other coaching approaches may miss. With best wishes. Nick
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Ali McBride
4/5/2012 01:08:15 pm
loving it ... definitely got my attention ... after all it's not the destination but the glory of the ride .... how easily we forget
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Nick Wright
4/5/2012 01:09:15 pm
'Glory of the ride'...like it! Thanks Ali. :) Nick
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The most memorable question I have been asked was, "Why do people love you?" Some I ask are "What would you do about it if you were utterly unafraid?", "What's the worst that could happen" and "If you had three wishes, what would you use them for?" Thanks for a great article.
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Nick WrightI'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? Get in touch! Like what you read? Simply enter your email address below to receive regular blog updates!
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