NICK WRIGHT
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Good question

18/10/2011

13 Comments

 
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​‘Isn’t it curious how question has quest at its heart?’ (Brian Watts) This was a great question. It set my mind on a quest, a journey of discovery, and it was intended to do so. It wasn’t a question inviting information, an immediate response, a simple answer. It was intended to stimulate, intrigue, inspire.

Some of the world’s greatest teachers have used questions powerfully to evoke and achieve transformation. Jesus asked so many questions that Gempf wrote a whole book on it: Jesus Asked. Socrates the philosopher is famous for posing questions too: the Socratic method. Aquinas observed that good questions have a way of creating uncertainty, restlessness, momentum. By contrast, once we achieve an answer that satisfies, our minds come to a halt. Is that why God leaves so many questions unanswered, to invite us on a dynamic, profound journey of faith?

We shouldn’t be surprised, therefore, that good questions often lie at the heart of good therapy, good coaching, good organisation development, good international development. Finding the right questions, the quantum questions, is often the key to unlocking transformative results. In coaching, good questions are often about enabling the client to see him or herself, his or her situation, through fresh eyes. In this sense, it’s about enabling the client to gain fresh in-sight. Questions are often about challenging assumptions, reframing, enabling paradigm shifts.

Questions can also be used to explore emotional experience. ‘How are you feeling?’ Or to surface intuition. ‘What is your intuition telling you?’, ‘What’s your hunch?’. They can also move a person towards action. ‘What would motivate you to do this?’, ‘What are your next steps?’ Some questions are good for framing and focusing a conversation. ‘What would be good use of this time for you?’, ‘What’s the most important thing for us to focus on?’, ‘What do you hope to have achieved by the end of this meeting?’, ‘How would you like us to do this?’

Social constructionism poses fundamental questions. ‘What has led you to see things in the way you do?’, ‘Where do your beliefs come from?’, ‘What cultural and contextual assumptions does your language reveal?’, ‘How could you reconstruct this scenario into something quite different?’ Some questions invite a deeper spiritual dimension. ‘How would it be if we were to pray about this?’, ‘How far is this course of action consistent with Biblical principles?’, ‘What ethical issues does this raise?’, ‘If Jesus was physically present with you now, what would he ask you to do?’

One of the best questions I’ve found is simply, ‘What’s really going on here?’ Susie Orbach, social psychotherapist, wrote a good book by that title. It invites exploration of an issue from a wide range of perspectives, personal, social and political, drawing on rationality and intuition. Gestalt psychology hints at great questions. ‘What are you aware of?’, ‘What is holding your attention?’, ‘What are you not noticing?’, ‘What assumptions are you making?’, ‘What do you need to be effective in this situation’, ‘What would improve the quality of contact between us?’

Coaches in a workplace can ask all sorts of powerful questions too. ‘Where is your focus at the moment?’, 'What's the goal you are working towards?', ‘What should take priority?’, ‘Where can you be more proactive?’, ‘What do you need to do right now?’, ‘What have you learnt from this that you can use?’ ‘What should we be celebrating?’, ‘Where do you feel most challenged?’, ‘Where is the greatest return on your effort?’, ‘How can you make more use of what is working?’, ‘What is the most important thing for you to change?’, ‘What would you most like to improve?’

The list goes on... ‘What really excites you about this?’, ‘Where could you show greater leadership?’, ‘What is your deadline?’, ‘What options do you have?’, ‘What are the pros and cons?’, ‘Who will you need on board to achieve this?’, ‘What support will you need to be successful?’ I’m fascinated by how the quality of a good question, alongside the quality of the relationship, the intention behind the question and the spirit in which it is posed, can be so impactful. And I’m keen to find out more. So, please tell me, what’s the best question you have asked, used or received?
13 Comments
Alok Dubey
28/4/2012 08:19:09 am

Thanks a lot, Nick for sharing the thought provoking piece. Regards. Alok

Reply
Nick Wright
28/4/2012 08:19:48 am

Thanks Alok - glad you found it thought provoking. With best wishes. Nick

Reply
Judy Rosemarin
28/4/2012 08:21:16 am

So, your post intrigued me and I went online to see synonyms to explore "quest" and on that quest I discovered that there is a now visual thesarus! Thanks for the quest! Judy

Reply
Nick Wright
28/4/2012 08:21:51 am

Thanks Judy. :) Where did you find the visual thesarus? Intriguing. Nick

Reply
Felicity O'Hanlon
30/4/2012 04:22:32 pm

Great article Nick. Yes I agree and think that coaching is basically about asking effective questions. Questions that do more than just ask for basic answers, questions that take us to a place of mind expanding possibilities, questions that shift our perspective, help us to side step self doubt and help us to get out of the drama of everyday circumstances and look at our life anew.

Jesus did ask a lot of questions, I have always been struck by that and wondered why, even when he knew people had great faith in him. There was the woman who was bleeding for twelve years and she touched his cloak and was healed. But he stopped and asked 'Who touched me?' I believe he asked her to proclaim her faith and in doing so she also had to overcome her fear.

Another blind man asked him to have mercy and had to beg him twice, still he asked 'What do you want me to do for you?' The blind man had to voice his wish - I want you to make me see. Why did he let the man call out and then ask him what he wanted when of course he knew he was blind? I believe again it was to make the man proclaim his faith and voice his wish.

Asking a client effective questions about what they want and how to get there puts them in a position of responsibility and control over their life. They have to voice what they want, choose options and commit to a course of action. The right questions will enable them to get there.

It takes a lot more to ask a good question than to tell someone what to do. Then it takes more effort to listen well and ask another qood question and to keep doing this. Coaching practice is liberating because we don't have to be an expert at whatever our clients do, we just have to be expert at listening and asking.

I was inspired by a coaching lecturer who told a story about one of her clients. She was working as a parole officer and coach and asked a client what he most wanted in life. He said to get out of prison and die a free man. She asked him 'What do you have to do to achieve that?' and he said, 'get out on parole'. She kept on asking him 'What do you have to do to achieve that?' until he had identified backwards all the steps he needed to take to achieve his goal which would start with not kicking the library trolley on his way out of the interview room. Brilliant demonstration of the power of questioning - to help someone shape their destiny.

A book that helped me practice this a lot is The Right Questions - Debbie Ford (Ten essential questions to guide you to an extraordinary life).

My favourite question is 'What do you most want to achieve in life?' or 'What does your ideal life look like?' or 'What are the three most important things in your life?' or 'If you only had a year to live, what would you spend your time doing?' A bit intense maybe, but I like questions that force me to raise my gaze from the humdum of everyday life and get perspective on what is most important.
best wishes, Felicity

Reply
Nick Wright
30/4/2012 04:33:02 pm

Hi Felicity. Thanks for the helpful comments. I think you explain well how posing good questions can evoke deep insight, ownership and commitment. I love the examples from Jesus. You may find Conrad Gempf's book interesting: 'Jesus Asked'. The parole officer example reminded me of the '7 Why' technique which I, too, have found powerful when working with clients. I haven't come across the book you mentioned by Debbie Ford so I will look out for it. I like the questions in your final paragraph. A coach friend asks something along similar lines: 'What is the impact you want to have in the world?' With best wishes. Nick

Reply
Felicity O'Hanlon
1/5/2012 10:33:06 am

Hi Nick, I would be interested in Conrad Gempf's book and will look out for it. I have just realised that I comment on this subgroup forum on LinkedIn which is about Coaching Psychology Research - about which I know precious little! Perhaps I should stick to the International Society Forum. Even so, I know quite a bit about coaching but not much about Coaching Psychology although I teach Psychology as a subject. If appropriate for this forum, may I ask what are the fundamental differences between straightforward coaching and coaching Psychology. I am guessing the latter is not therapeutic, as in necessary for emotional well being or recovery from trauma but rather about development, both individual and organisational. If so, how does it stand apart from the self development movement?
regards, Felicity

Reply
Nick Wright
1/5/2012 10:34:13 am

Hi Felicity. Good question on coaching psychology. When you compare and contrast psychological coaching with 'straightforward' coaching, I guess it depends on what specific models or approaches you had in mind. Psychological coaching typically pays attention to the client's psychological processes intrapersonally and interpersonally, sometimes with reference to the wider context or 'field'.

Other models of coaching may be, for instance, more behavioural, technique or business orientated. Rather than drawing hard lines between different coaching models and approaches, however, it may be helpful to think in terms of different focus or emphases. These differences sometimes arise from different theories of personality or theories of change and sometimes from personal or situational preferences.

In my experience, most forms of coaching aim to support personal development in the context of influencing or achieving wider goals. Theoretical differences apart, perhaps the difference between them practically is how they may go about working with the client to achieve it. It will be interesting to hear what other coaches in this area think. With best wishes. Nick

Reply
Anapaula Lagarriga
2/5/2012 09:28:16 am

In my experience coaching and psychology go hand in hand. When I am coaching business owners my belief is that results are outcomes of actions/decisions they have made which are based on behaviours stemming from their mindset/cognition. All of which are formed through their identity based on their attitude, beliefs, values, experiences and environment. Questions are a crucial component of coaching that allows clients to arrive to their own conclusions which makes a greater impact on clients than telling them what to do and how to do it.

Reply
Nick Wright
2/5/2012 09:29:32 am

Thanks Anapaula for such a clear and helpful response. I too believe that business decisions are a result of conversations within and between people that draw on, reflect and sometimes reinforce personal and cultural beliefs, values motivations etc. In light of this, psychological approaches to coaching can bring particular business insights and benefits that other coaching approaches may miss. With best wishes. Nick

Reply
Ali McBride
4/5/2012 01:08:15 pm

loving it ... definitely got my attention ... after all it's not the destination but the glory of the ride .... how easily we forget

Reply
Nick Wright
4/5/2012 01:09:15 pm

'Glory of the ride'...like it! Thanks Ali. :) Nick

Reply
Nick Heap link
15/7/2020 03:52:57 pm

The most memorable question I have been asked was, "Why do people love you?" Some I ask are "What would you do about it if you were utterly unafraid?", "What's the worst that could happen" and "If you had three wishes, what would you use them for?" Thanks for a great article.

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