Fantasy

5/7/2016

Jackie LeFevre of Magma Effect is an inspiring and thoughtful guru in the values-related field. One of the things Jackie talks about is the importance of exploring the values and beliefs that lay behind people’s actions and behaviours. Two people could behave the same way but with very different reasons for doing it. Dave believes that people should arrive at meetings on time. For him, it’s about ensuring that time spent at meetings is efficient and effective. Sandra also believes it’s important to arrive on time. For her, it is about showing personal respect for colleagues in the room.

Why is this important? Covey in The Speed of Trust observed that, ‘We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their actions.’ The risk here is that I assume your intention from your behaviour then respond and relate to you as if my assumption (that is, my own belief about you in that situation) is true. What is more, we tend to notice things that confirm and reinforce the belief we already hold and don’t notice things that would challenge or contradict it. All kinds of misunderstandings can occur and these can prove limiting or damaging to relationships.

This tendency is exacerbated if we are feeling tired, pressured or stressed. Somebody walks past my desk who normally stops and speaks to me. This time, they don’t speak. In fact, they don’t even look at me. I begin to hypothesise. If I’m already feeling anxious about the relationship, I may start to dream up an elaborate fantasy: ‘I’m sure they’re angry with me.’ ‘It’s because they didn’t like that email I sent.’ It’s a classic example of cognitive distortion. If we notice we are doing it, e.g. if we think we are reading the other person’s mind, it can really help if we simply stop and…breathe.

I discovered a useful ‘3 Hypotheses Technique’ in Latting & Ramsey’s Reframing Change that can be used to surface such assumptions and open up alternatives. The first step is to take note of what we assume the person’s action or behaviour means. The second is to assume the person has a positive intention. The third is to assume the person is being driven by external circumstances. If we are able to entertain the possibility that more than one of these could be true, it can create sufficient psychological and emotional shift to enable us to respond with far greater reality and freedom.

83 Comments

Ethelle Lord, M.Ed., DM

5/7/2016 10:36:44 pm

You are so right, Nick. I know an 81-year old female whose husband is living with dementia after a life-time of heavy, daily drinking. She often says "oh, life is a mystery". This has gotten her into a lot of trouble as she is living in a virtual world of her own. She normally will chose to get into the wine rather than resolve a problem. Something she learnt to do from her parents first and then living with an alcoholic husband. Reality and freedom are foreign to her!

Nick Wright

5/7/2016 10:40:27 pm

Hi Ethelle and thanks for the note. It sounds like the person you mention has, perhaps, created an idea of reality and behaviours that flow from and reinforce it as a way of coping. It shows how coping mechanisms we learn as children, often subconsciously, can influence our ways of coping in the present. All the best. Nick

Jackie Le Fevre

6/7/2016 01:49:00 pm

On the nose as ever Nick! Your observation about the fantasy we create when something happens in our world that triggers a sensitivity - the colleague not saying Hi - is very insightful. Brene Brown has done a lot of work in this area and she talks about 'the story I am telling myself right now' - have a read of this http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/Brene-Brown-Rising-Strong-Excerpt

6/7/2016 01:50:51 pm

Hi Jackie. Thanks for the affirming feedback and for sharing the link. I think that, 'the story I am telling myself' is a great way of expressing this phenomenon. :) All the best. Nick

E.G.Sebastian (CPC)

6/7/2016 04:05:52 pm

Great one!!! I'll have to come back to this later (and make it Featured on LinkedIn for a few days). Powerful and critical question!

6/7/2016 04:06:43 pm

Thanks EG!! :) I will look forward to hearing your thoughts. All the best. Nick

Robert Hodge

6/7/2016 04:07:21 pm

We use a simple model with the metaphor of the person's arm - ARM. We explain that one can judge Actions because they are obvious e.g. you were speeding. We can judge Results e.g. you got a ticket. We may not, however, create our own sense of your Motives e.g. you scoff at the law. In fact, you may be rushing to the hospital to a dying loved one, clearly speeding yet setting a priority between two parts of your life that you highly value. Later, I may just have to wave my arm at a coachee to back them away from making up motives of other people. In most difficult conversations (there is a book by that name), we usually start by asking a person's motives or intent. Much can be gained by that, yet it requires an honest inquiry within the heart as well as voice inflection . "Tell me what you were trying to accomplish and why" is quite different than "What in the world were you thinking?"

6/7/2016 04:09:42 pm

Thanks Robert. I really like the ARM acronym and the way you use it physically to signal when assumptions are being made. It sounds like a great way of creating and reinforcing awareness in the room. All the best. Nick

7/7/2016 08:29:23 am

Robert, are you familiar with the Steven Covey's story on paradigm shift (from his 7 Habits book?) - very similar to your concepts... Sometimes we judge and condemn; but when we hear the story behind the actions, we experience a Paradigm Shift, and instead of judging and condemning, now we understand and want to help (and even wonder how come they didn't go more "crazy," given the circumstances).

Yolanda Gomez Gray

6/7/2016 05:15:06 pm

I was just reading this morning in Ruiz's The Four Agreements about Assumptions. Hmmm....there's a message somewhere in this. Thank you Nick and Robert Hodge; I like the simplicity of ARM.

6/7/2016 05:16:04 pm

Thanks Yolanda. Intriguing.. What does Ruiz say on this topic? All insights welcome! All the best. Nick

Hannah

6/7/2016 06:03:01 pm

I found this blog really interesting and helpful, it totally shifted my perspective! Thank you! :)

6/7/2016 06:11:00 pm

Thank you for your encouraging feedback, Hannah. All the best. Nick

Carol Bleyle

6/7/2016 06:45:29 pm

I think you're right here. Patrick Lencioni mentions "fundamental attribution error" in his book The Advantage. It refers to how we think attribute our own negative behavior to external forces, but attribute others ' negative behavior to bad intentions. Even if we don't get to the 3 Hypotheses, just becoming aware of our unconscious reactions can make a huge difference.

6/7/2016 06:46:27 pm

Thanks Carol. Yes, Lencioni expresses it well! All the best. Nick

Ericka Krystalyn

7/7/2016 08:20:22 am

"What is more, we tend to notice things that confirm and reinforce the belief we already hold and don’t notice things that would challenge or contradict it. All kinds of misunderstandings can occur and these can prove limiting or damaging to relationships." Story of my life!

7/7/2016 08:23:27 am

Perhaps the story of all of our lives, Ericka! ;) In my experience, confirmation bias is a common human trait. Perhaps knowing that can make us more open to our own psychological filters and more willing to test and challenge them. Thanks for such an honest response. All the best. Nick

E.G.Sebastian

7/7/2016 08:28:06 am

Don Miguel Ruiz is the best - life changing. We've been reading (my kids and I) his "The Voice of Knowledge" book. It's an eye opener.... if you read it with an open heart :), and you'll never see the world the same way after reading it... His Mastery of Love as well is a masterpiece - I highly recommend it. I believe every couple should read it (and soak it in / live it).

7/7/2016 08:31:05 am

Hi E.G. and Yolanda. OK, you've convinced me to check out Ruiz! :) All the best. Nick

Cath Norris, MA, BA, Dip Couns

7/7/2016 08:31:41 am

I really appreciate the potential applications for this Nick but I just got triggered. Assuming positive intentions and external drivers is pretty much what every person who stays in an abusive relationship does. Ouch. I don't believe for a moment that you're implying that should happen but it does raise a cautionary note regarding which circumstances and actions we stay with long enough to investigate intentions and drive.

7/7/2016 08:41:50 am

Hi Cath - and thanks for posing such a good and important challenge! You've got me thinking. Behaviour in abusive relationships can be driven by a whole range of complex psychodynamic and social/cultural phenomena. If we think of abusive relationships as 'exceptional' rather than the norm, thereby demanding a different outlook and approach, I think that Latting & Ramsey's approach can still work well in many 'normal' situations. I would be very interested to hear how we might approach this differently in an abusive context. What do you think? All the best. Nick

7/7/2016 09:32:28 am

Nick, I agree that the differentiation is essential. I'm reminded of when my unacknowledged Western privilege was experienced as abusive by folks from marginalised cultures. What supported dialogue was the presence of a meta-witness (facilitator) and my willingness and ability to take on the accusations and acknowledge and process them. It went beyond explaining my intentions - there was only space for that once the injured party had been able to create the space within themselves through having the room to vent their hurt and be accurately acknowledged. Sometimes our intent and motivations must take second place to acknowledging the impact of our actions.

When there is a power dynamic at play we need awareness of how that impacts on our own and others position within any interaction. We need to recognise this aspect of interactions. A boss who is late for meetings is in a very different position to a subordinate who is late or waiting on their boss. Recognition of this is key to supporting folks to reach a point where they can see another's motivations or express their own. The dynamic needs to be acknowledged and worked with accordingly to clear the path. Hope that helps :)

7/7/2016 09:39:26 am

Thanks for sharing such profound insights, Cath. Approaching the conversation, the relationship, the dynamic through the lenses of impact and power rather than, say, intention can itself shift the conversation, the relationship and the dynamic. I think the assumptions and intentions dimension can play an important part here too, e.g. to clarify our intentions in holding such a conversation, to explore what implicit or explicit assumptions each party brings to the conversation etc. Thanks again - lots to think about. All the best. Nick

13/7/2016 12:06:49 pm

Yes definitely Nick. I don't want to do down the incredible impact that staying open to exploring our own and others intentions can have. I'm interested in how we clear the way for such valuable work. The practice of clearly recognising and stating our own intentions supports transparency and authenticity in ourselves and others. It can help to reveal common ground and build respect for diversity. It can bring rank, privilege and power dynamics to the forefront and allow them to be acknowledged and worked with constructively as we reveal and explore how such factors impact on our intentions and interactions Thanks for sharing on such a stimulating subject :)

Dave Smith

7/7/2016 09:44:55 am

Confirmation bias - seeing only the things that reinforce our assumptions and rejecting those that challenge it - is a blinkered mindset. An open one would notice those "anomalies" and question if they were on the right track, rather than stubbornly assume they were and proudly conflate the right signs as evidence.

This is a similar concept I brought up when delivering Systems Testing courses: developers use test data that shows it works, testers tend to use test data to show where it fails - or, in other words: developers submit code believing it to be correct, testers accept it believing it to flawed - and run tests that attempt to prove it.

Similarly, there is an absence-of-errors fallacy here: testing can only show evidence of errors; if an error emerges, you can state with certainty one exists. If, after tests, no errors emerge, can you say with certainty that no errors exist? Generally you would look at flawed tests that discovered nothing.

So.. returning to the point: we can only guess at someone's intentions or feelings, we don't know for certain what they are but we must also not fall into the trap that no indication of a specific behaviour does not necessarily imply that behaviour does not exist, only that it has not been displayed.

A final point about our assumptions versus others' behaviour: I've always maintained that the only person you can change is YOU. And in changing your behaviour, you influence the way others see - and then - behave towards you. You cannot control someone's attitude, but you CAN control your own reaction to it.

7/7/2016 09:48:00 am

Hi David and thanks for the note. I'm intrigued by your comment that, 'we must also not fall into the trap that no indication of a specific behaviour does not necessarily imply that behaviour does not exist, only that it has not been displayed.' Can you say a bit more about what you mean, perhaps with an example to illustrate it? Thanks! All the best. Nick

13/7/2016 09:17:12 am

A simple example is: just because I'm not smiling, it doesn't mean I'm not happy.

Smiling generally implies happiness, but some falsely assume that a lack of smile indicates a lack of happiness - i.e.: the person is sad.

I recently read an article where someone was deep in thought and a stranger shouted "smile!", interrupting that train of thought because the stranger falsely assumed the person was unhappy.

It's a situation where someone doesn't realise their well-intentioned interference is unwelcome and counter-productive, and may then get defensive about a seeming lack of gratitude when in fact it was their decision based on a flawed analysis of the situation that caused it - not an ungrateful recipient.

13/7/2016 09:19:50 am

Good point Dave about attributing motivations to the absence of a behavior as well. If someone doesn't respond right away to an email or request, for example, we often assumed they are purposely blowing us off, when that might not be the case at all.

David Evans

13/7/2016 09:09:58 am

Thanks for these thoughts, Nick; great brain-fodder. I like the work of Richard Barrett and have used his values-based "cultural transformational tools" several times in order to surface the unseen and develop a root-cause analysis approach to change. It is amazing that focussing on values and beliefs provides such a rich canvass on which to build new beginnings, for teams, individuals and organisations.

13/7/2016 09:15:22 am

Hi David and thanks for your encouraging feedback. Yes, I agree on the rich canvass. I would be very interested to hear more about Barrett's cultural transformational tools. Could you share a bit more? Thanks and all the best. Nick

Laura Lingle

13/7/2016 09:24:58 am

The Four Agreements
by Don Miguel Ruiz

13/7/2016 09:26:14 am

Thanks Laura. Yes, Ruiz sounds interesting. What are the Four Agreements? Intrigued! All the best. Nick

Aaron Bradley

13/7/2016 09:26:55 am

a great model I have used is "the ladder of inferance"details the phsycology and thinking process we often go through without realising it.

demonstrating how our belief sytem and other factors can impact out ability to come to logical outcomes resulting in assumptions and jumping to conclusions.

13/7/2016 09:28:55 am

Thanks Aaron. Yes, Argyris' Ladder of Inference can be a very useful tool for surfacing beliefs and assumptions. All the best. Nick

Adam Morris

13/7/2016 10:11:10 am

Interesting piece Nick. I would add a fourth hypotheses which is to consider the language being used by the person to possibly offer some insight or idea about what internal circumstances (our internal narratives, identity conclusions and taken-for-granted beliefs) are influencing their behaviour and decisions.

13/7/2016 10:13:44 am

Thanks Adam. I agree that language can provide a real window of insight. Reflecting back and exploring language can act as powerful tools for awareness-raising. I'm curious - how might you frame that as a hypothesis? All the best. Nick

13/7/2016 01:46:23 pm

Using your format, I'd say "assume the person is driven, often unconsciously, by internal beliefs and narratives".

Then an approach is to pay attention to the language used by the person, being curious and co-enquiring into why they use that language and explore positively - and as safely as possible, the constructs underpinning their narratives and beliefs while at the same time challenging your own assumptions of them and their actions/words.

13/7/2016 01:47:12 pm

Many thanks, Adam. I really like that! :) All the best. Nick

13/7/2016 03:01:42 pm

Hope it's helpful. If you've not read it, I recommend "Dialogic OD" by Gervase Bushe and Robert Marshak (Berrett Koehler, 2015) strongly. It's a helpful and engaging read.

13/7/2016 03:07:08 pm

Thanks Adam - I'll order a copy now! All the best. Nick

Lisa Gentile, MS, CPLP

13/7/2016 10:16:35 am

In the 3 Hypotheses Technique I would swap the word assume for the word ask.

13/7/2016 10:23:42 am

Thanks Lisa. I believe that Latting & Ramsey's are using the word 'assume' to mean 'to entertain the possibility that' as a way of creating a psychological and emotional state that can enable a person to approach a person or situation with greater openness. To ask, where that is possible, would enable a person to test whether any particular hypothesis they hold is true - depending, of course, on whether they receive a true response and whether they believe it - which is a much bigger topic! I'd be interested to hear more about what 'to ask' holds for you. All the best. Nick

Jim Mondry

13/7/2016 10:24:46 am

Nick - this is good, but it stops short of truly expanding the awareness of your target for this post: what is needed is to explore the values and motivations of the other person. It's not enough to to assume they are trying their best (yes, they are trying their best). When we open ourselves up to others perspective and values, we can get stretched into new potentials for our relationships at work (and beyond), learning how to leverage the best of each other.

13/7/2016 10:40:00 am

Hi Jim and thanks for posing such an interesting challenge. I would not propose that to assume someone is trying their best is always enough in a relationship. That itself would be an assumption or, in this context, a fantasy. In some situations, it would be unhelpful too. However, surfacing and testing assumptions, e.g. by posing challenging alternative hypotheses, can be a useful way of opening up fresh possibilities - especially if we or the other are 'stuck' in our assumptions, blind to them and unable to move from that place. Beyond that, I agree with you that exploring values and motivations can be very useful, not least because beliefs and values often lay behind the assumptions we make about the world and about other people. Let me know if I've missed the point you were making! All the best. Nick

Michael Duffy

13/7/2016 12:07:43 pm

Really great topic. ..so many angles to explore. ..got to read more of this...thanks for the post!

13/7/2016 12:08:56 pm

Many thanks, Michael. Let us know any insights and ideas you discover on route! All the best. Nick

Lollo Mofolo

13/7/2016 12:11:25 pm

NLP also tells us that the 'map is not the territory', thereby encouraging us not to assume, make generalisations and form distortions. Thank you Nick and Cath for useful insights.

13/7/2016 12:12:25 pm

Thank you, Lollo. Yes, I think that's a really useful insight from NLP. All the best. Nick

13/7/2016 12:13:37 pm

Nick and Cath... I just enrolled in an online Masters degree in Psychology - as soon as I get my degree, I'll come back and read your comments again :)

[ok, be nice and don't call me a "smart ass" - it's just a loving teasing :), as I enjoy reading how deep you go with analyzing this... and I even understand half of what you are saying :) - Do you both have a Therapist/Psychology/or Psychiatry background? ]

13/7/2016 12:17:16 pm

Lol, E.G. You made me laugh! :) Are our backgrounds really that obvious..? ;) Enjoy the Masters degree. :) All the best. Nick

13/7/2016 12:18:47 pm

All the best with that EG. Thanks for your appreciation...given as ever in your own wonderful, inimitable style!

I trained in life development counselling and psychotherapy for 5 years, applied the model that I learned to organisational development and one to one work. I then did a master's in somatics (roughly translates as what it takes for us to feel alive in our bodies) then did another masters in process work psychology applied to working with conflict and organisational change. I'm a learning junkie. More recently began studying 'the Art of Hosting collaborative conversations.

Looking forward to sharing in your learning :))

John Gianni

13/7/2016 12:20:27 pm

Head on, with the group, if the assumptions are vocalized you have no choice but to deal with them. Collaboration to a resolution has always worked well. You must ensure that it doesn't take o er the class

13/7/2016 12:21:21 pm

Thanks John. I'm curious - what would do to deal with them 'head on'? Do you have any examples? All the best. Nick

Steven Kramer

13/7/2016 12:22:09 pm

Reframing helps and various exercises that improve awareness.

13/7/2016 12:23:36 pm

Thanks Steven. Do you have any examples of exercises that would improve awareness? All the best. Nick

Meenakshi Badhwar

13/7/2016 12:24:48 pm

Trainer always carries sharp observation skills to get other's assumption ..While interacting with the audience it gives you as a trainer a instinct to feel or understand it.

13/7/2016 12:26:52 pm

Hi Meenakshi and thanks for the note. Yes, observation skills are important. Do you have any examples of how you have surfaced and addressed assumptions in a training group? I would be interested to hear more. All the best. Nick

Heather Joseph

13/7/2016 12:27:47 pm

A Trainer can often make an assumption about a person as soon as they come into a room, but if you are a good trainer you may often put this particular assumption at the back of your mind but be still aware. I once made an assumption and during the session I found that the assumption I was making was in fact valid but at the end of the session the trainee made the time and effort to speak to me afterwards and explained, how I made her feel inclusive with everyone in the room.

13/7/2016 01:01:11 pm

Hi Heather and thanks for sharing such a personal experience. I remember an impacting experience early in my training practice. Someone entered the room who appeared very cocky, arrogant and boisterous. I commented to my co-trainer that this person could be 'trouble' - too 'full of himself'. My co-trainer challenged me gently but firmly: 'Everyone has their own way of dealing with anxiety.' This simple reframing of the situation and the potential meaning behind the person's behaviour changed my own attitude completely and has always stayed with me. All the best. Nick

Linda Kepschull-Boes

13/7/2016 01:02:04 pm

Far too often the assumptions are left unchecked when and where possible I believe heavily in the pregnant pause as it brings to the surface those issues just slightly hidden. When a moment like it happens the rest of the group often feels more trust and commitment to the course 👥

13/7/2016 01:05:15 pm

Hi Linda and thanks for the note. Yes, I have a good friend, Rob Abbott, who is a masterful trainer. He has an amazing way of simply pausing-with-presence in such a way that raises all kinds of things to the surface that would otherwise lay hidden. All the best. Nick

Tim Oakleaf

14/7/2016 08:32:12 am

I have recently learned to count to 7 Mississippi to allow them time to collect their thoughts and begin to express themselves. That's a minimum.

14/7/2016 08:33:59 am

Thanks Tim. I like that. There's something unique about the power of silence in the presence of another to surface awareness, insight and ideas to the surface including, at times, awareness of assumptions-being-made. All the best. Nick

Phillipus Jacobus Blignaut

14/7/2016 08:35:47 am

Good evening Nick sometimes student's and learners will get under your skin and it's your responsibility have a clear set of rules laid out before the session begins, don't compromise on those rules as time management is one of our key factors in getting the job done. I have recently encountered the same issue of having to have a mister know it all in one of my lectures which I had to deal with, I had him agreed to let the training session run its course and asked Mr Know it all to assist the learners who were slower than what he was. During the session I managed to get all my topics covered and at the some time I had the other students find confidance.

After the students built-up confidance in him I request him to assist in the practical aspects and he informed me that he had know time for it as it would be a waist of his time. I then proceced with the practical session by operating the equipment first and my learners to follow my lead, after we all finished I requested Mr Know it all to step up to the plate we discovered that he had know knowledge or expirrance in operations which lead me down to the basics of education. There has always been practical and theoretical people and very few which have both. As a trainer you should remember to set the rules,follow the time and control the croud, if training was easy every body would be doing it.

14/7/2016 08:43:59 am

Hi Phillipus and thanks for sharing such an interesting example from personal experience. It sounds like the person you describe arrived at the training with beliefs, values, assumptions, expectations etc. that could have been useful to explore? Agreeing and sticking to ground rules for behaviour and ways of working can help ensure a group achieves its task on time. Exploring and addressing assumptions around areas such as, 'what are we here to do?', 'how shall we do this?', 'what is possible if we do this well?', 'what will this call for from us?', 'are we willing to do it?' can be powerful to increase engagement too. All the best. Nick

Makarand Orpe

14/7/2016 08:45:28 am

In a group, Trainer drops (unexpectedly in a casual manner) an "Open statement" which is an unbiased statement relevant to the Subject of discussion and carefully observe the responses or reactions of a group while continuing his discussion. This will give an opportunity to a trainer to silently perceive Assumptions in a Group. The beauty is that the Good Trainer gets a very useful guidance from those surfaced "Assumptions in a Group" which help him or her to reach easily to his group of participants and to deliver his subjects interestingly.

14/7/2016 08:49:27 am

Hi Makarand and thanks for the note. I think that is a very interesting way of surfacing assumptions. I guess the risk is that the trainer could (will) make assumptions about the group's assumptions, based on what the trainer perceives and interprets from their responses. What are your ideas about how the trainer could test that with the group to avoid misunderstandings? All the best. Nick

14/7/2016 08:50:58 am

As professional coaches we are, by definition, obligated to come from a place of questioning. When we recognize our own biases surfacing during a coaching engagement we decide how to not make it a burden for the client. Projections have to be cleared out. If we want to test the thought as a possible insight regarding the client's agenda, we have to find a genuinely empathetic way to ask the client whether the idea applies. So holding the word "ask" matters.

14/7/2016 08:55:41 am

Thanks Lisa. I really like your way of expressing that, especially the notion of 'how to decide not to make it a burden for the client' and how 'to test the thought as a possible insight'. Many thanks. All the best. Nick

Allison Francis Barksdale, MBA/CPLC

15/7/2016 08:43:39 am

These are good ideas, but I am concerned about the use of "assume" (whether positive or negative). I think it far better to checkin with ourselves if we are feeling an uneasiness - our instincts are the best guide. If there is a concern, about someone else's behavior, it is also best to check in with the other person to clarify and confirm. If we truly have an intention for a positive interaction and growth on the part of our client, we have the power to ensure it. By checking in, it is easier to correct and move forward. I am not being naive to the fact that people do not always readily admit their motivation. So observation of verbal and nonverbal clues help in an atmosphere of trust.

15/7/2016 08:54:29 am

Hi Allison. I think you pose a valid challenge to the idea of 'assuming' and I agree with your approach to checking in with ourselves and the other person. Latting & Ramsey propose the 3 Hypotheses Technique in the context of 'being in the question'. It's about one way of creating a psychological and emotional state and stance from which a person may feel more open and able to engage in the kind of inquiry you are advocating. II wouldn't encourage a person to 'assume' instead of inquire but, for some people in some relationships (especially where there are e.g. power dynamics they find intimidating or they are unable to access the person immediately or directly), it could be a useful preparatory approach. Does that make sense? All the best. Nick

Frederic Stansfield

15/7/2016 09:47:08 am

We have to recognise that we cannot free ourselves of all our hidden asumptions, specifically the ones we are unaware that we have. However, tools such as the 3 Hypotheses Technique are good because they make us more self-aware and therefore less biassed. The fundamental rule is that we should always work in partnership with the client.

15/7/2016 09:51:14 am

Thanks Frederic. Yes, a challenge can lay in the assumptions we and/or the client are unaware of. You may be interested in this related blog: http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/delusion I would be interested to hear your comments. All the best. Nick

Deb Barnard

15/7/2016 11:43:52 am

Nancy Kline's (Time to Think) work can centre on working with assumptions: are they true, false or possible. e.g. People might laugh at me. 'That's true, people might laugh at you, and what are you assuming behind that?' She works to find, what she calls, the bedrock (subjetive) assumption. http://www.timetothink.com/uploaded/Coaching%20in%20T.E.%20N%20Kline.pdf

15/7/2016 11:51:50 am

Thanks Deb. That's a great article on raising awareness of limiting assumptions. Many thanks for sharing. All the best. Nick

Chrissy Derrer, SPHR

16/7/2016 02:02:37 pm

Love the 3 hypotheses technique- start from the heart, assume the best- if leaders would reinforce these simple habits, workplace productivity would soar! Thanks for sharing.

16/7/2016 02:03:24 pm

Thanks Chrissy - you're very welcome! :) All the best. Nick

Sue Anderson

18/7/2016 12:33:32 pm

Interesting article. Thanks!

18/7/2016 12:34:11 pm

You're welcome, Sue! All the best. Nick

Rosie Miller

18/7/2016 12:34:56 pm

Thank you for this interesting article. I like the way you remind us all that most change starts with creating possibilities that things could be different from what we automatically thought/assume or even fear. Right now, post the Brexit vote, there is a lot of us in the UK needing to keep remembering this approach to what is happening around us.

18/7/2016 12:37:34 pm

Thanks Rosie. Yes, the UK Brexit situation has demonstrated very graphically how fantasy - especially when driven and dramatised by media/social media - can go wild. You may be interested in this related blog: http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/delusion Let me know what you think? All the best. Nick

Annette Segal

19/7/2016 04:16:32 pm

Thanks Nick Wright for pointing our attention towards the murky area of assumptions - murky because it is here we often get into trouble. My own coaching urges people to get very curious and ask questions from the energy of openness, so this post was welcome! Thank you.

19/7/2016 04:19:17 pm

Thanks Annette. Yes, it can be a challenge to know what we are assuming, especially as assumptions often lay under the surface, behind what presents itself as 'objective' information, truth etc. You may find this related short piece interesting? http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/delusion Let me know what you think? All the best. Nick

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