Listening for a voice

15/1/2022

Coaching is listening for a voice. More accurately, at deeper levels, for 4 voices. Firstly, the voice of the client: his or her concerns, aspirations, thoughts and feelings. This is the traditional focus of coaching and counselling, seeking to hear the client, to listen, pay attention, help the client to hear his or her own voice more clearly.

Secondly, the voice of the client’s environment: his or her background, experience and context. It’s what Gestalt calls the field. The introjects, assumptions, cultural norms and systemic constructs that shape and speak implicitly through the client’s outlook and experience. The hidden voices behind the client’s voice.

Thirdly, the voice of God: revealing, guiding, challenging and consoling. The clear, confusing, mysterious voice of God who whispers in sound, in silence, through the visible and invisible. The God who is the Word, who speaks the eternal Divine language behind human language, calling us inwards, outwards, towards and beyond.

And finally my own voice: my learning, intuition, experience and discernment. It’s about listening for a resonance, a dissonance, a sense of harmony with the client, with his or her world, with God. It’s an art, a science, an energetic struggle, a dance. It’s a precious and challenging call, but the potential for transformation is significant.

16 Comments

Naomi

15/1/2022 10:10:06 am

Very profound!

Nick Wright

15/1/2022 10:10:57 am

Thank you, Naomi. I experience these things as very profound too.

Joan Johnson

15/1/2022 10:11:34 am

Beautifully articulated, Nick ... and why I am also compelled to coach.

15/1/2022 10:12:12 am

Thanks Joan. I like your use of the word 'compelled' as it resonates for me with the notion of feeling 'called'. I sometimes think of compulsion as an inner push and calling as an outer pull. My work in coaching feels like a dynamic combination of both.

David Bayne

15/1/2022 10:13:05 am

Nice, Nick and I was listening to the late Wayne Dyer this morning during my exercise and he was talking about "silence". In silence you will find the answers and the voice! Thanks.

15/1/2022 10:15:40 am

Thank you, David! On that theme, you may find these short related pieces interesting?

*The silent way: https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/the-silent-way

*Sounds of silence: https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/sounds-of-silence

Frank Bolaji Irawo

17/1/2022 12:39:06 pm

Love the expansion of 4 voices
Client
Clients environment
The Universe - God
Coache's voice

17/1/2022 12:48:45 pm

Thank you, Frank. I would reframe the 4 dimensions and voices as: client; client's environment (inc 'universe'); God; coach.

This approach has resonances with the Gestalt concept of working with 'field' in coaching practice - are you familiar with it? In case of interest, here's a link to a classic article on this theme by Michael Parlett:

https://static1.squarespace.com/static/572d003b40261d2ef97e5b0b/t/5bdb37b76d2a73d30dc2c6ef/1541093307600/Parlett+Unified+Field+in+Practice.pdf

In practice, it means I now have 'Prayer - Presence - Participation' written above my laptop as an aide-memoire!

Stella Goddard

20/1/2022 02:18:50 pm

A thought provoking piece Nick. Much to reflect on. Thank you. My sense is that voices are a creative force - what is said, the tone, the situation, the intention. What are we creating with our voice? There are so many voices - some are really loud and may drown out the inner voice leading to a sense of 'I am not important' 'I have nothing to say that is of importance' I would suggest that we need to be wise about which voices we choose to listen to and be influenced by.

20/1/2022 02:27:09 pm

Thank you, Stella. You have have given me much to reflect on too.

For instance, we can introject voices from the past that appear to us, now, as if they are our own voice speaking. Learning to discern and evaluate voices is a critical-reflexive skill - and not always easy to do without support.

You have reminded me too, of this short related piece that has become even more resonant and important in the midst of clamouring voices on social media: https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/whose-thoughts-am-i-thinking

Hugh Albright

20/1/2022 11:19:29 pm

Coaching spirituality is a slippery slope.
A coach must never impose their beliefs. They can only listen and guide.
Politics and religion are landmines.

20/1/2022 11:29:27 pm

Hi Hugh. I would certainly agree that imposing any belief system on a client would be both unethical and counter to the spirit and practice of coaching. Some would argue that offering guidance is too, especially since it isn't possible to offer guidance that is beliefs or values-neutral.

This depends, of course, on a person's coaching philosophy, style and approach; what specifically has been contracted with a client; boundaries with e.g. consultancy or mentoring etc. I believe authentic spirituality can significantly enhance the potential and outcomes of coaching practice.

This short related piece may be of interest? https://www.nick-wright.com/strike-a-pose1.html Let me know what you think!

21/1/2022 10:01:25 am

Thank you for your detailed comments. They are 100% valid.

21/1/2022 10:02:04 am

Thank you, Hugh. You're welcome.

John Vanek

1/2/2022 12:06:25 pm

Coaching for me is a kind of beautiful empty space that is filled by the act of listening to the client. It might contain spirituality via the client, it might not. The space is open and many depths can be reached through the act of listening.

1/2/2022 09:54:55 pm

Hi John. 'A kind of beautiful empty space'. I like that!