A courageous spirit

19/11/2012

I don’t understand courage. It’s certainly not a quality that comes naturally or easily to me. I spent many of my school days trying to avoid the tough kids rather than face or confront them. It felt safer that way, even it if did mean walking home the long way round or trying hard to look inconspicuous. In later years, I took up karate to improve my confidence but even that felt like a show, a façade to hide my inner fears.

My lack of courage reached an all time low when working in a Palestinian hospital on the West Bank. An Israeli jet flew past at speed, causing a sonic boom that shook the doors and windows violently. I had just arrived a few days beforehand and, assuming we had been bombed, threw myself onto the ground against the wall. Moments later, a group of nurses walked into the room casually and looked at me, surprised and amused.

I have done some things that others considered brave at the time. I once broke up a fight between strangers in a night club and someone threw a glass tankard at me for doing it. I’ve done detached youth work on dangerous housing estates at night, hitch-hiked across Europe, taken relief supplies to a war zone, flown into a city just as it had been bombed, had secret basement meetings with guerrilla leaders.

Yet, if I’m honest, none of those things really felt scary at the time. Courage is about feeling the fear and doing it anyway. It’s about acting on an inner conviction, doing the right thing, even if the prospect of doing so feels terrifying. Christian teaching describes it as a spiritual quality, an admirable character trait, something to aspire to and to do. It calls for self-sacrificial choice, a step out of the safe zone.

And so I marvel at people who overcome their own self-preservation, who do something genuinely courageous. I want to be more like that, to do more like that, to emulate those who set such a noble example. It’s different to bravado because it implies humility, a willingness to trust in greater God or a greater good. So, when was the last time you felt fear yet exercised courage? What was your story and how did you do it?

28 Comments

Fiona

19/11/2012 12:35:50 am

Courage is in the eyes of others as I have done things that people have said are courageous but I just think they are a normal part of life. I find it easier to be courageous on behalf of my family. When my youngest son was 1 I knew there was something wrong with him I just wasn't sure what it was. I had to fight with health visitors, doctors to persuade them that all things were not as they should be. We were struggling as we did not understand what was happening but we never gave up. Finally at 3 we had a diagnosis of autism for our son but this was only after much pressure, phone calls and time. I cried with releif when we got the diagnosis at least now we knew what we were dealing with. Thanks to that strength we were able to now help our son with his condition and stretch him so that now he is in a mainstream class and most people are unaware of his condition. Autism can never be cured but I believe the early interventions we put in place for him has meant that he functions well in society. Some people have said that's brave and courageous but I am not sure and think its just being a good parent. So I think courage is something we admire in others but maybe if we asked them they would say I am just doing what I thought was right!!

Nick Wright

19/11/2012 12:56:14 am

Hi Fiona and thank you for sharing such a moving story of parental courage in the face of concern for your son and struggles with the various authorities. I found your reflection on courage as 'in the eye of the beholder' very interesting, especially because humility has a similar aspect to it. One of the other things that struck me was your perseverence and determination in the face of adversity. You didn't give up, even though the circumstances could have convinced you to give up. You demonstrated that 'overcoming' quality that seems to be at the heart of courage. With best wishes. Nick

Janet Quarry

19/11/2012 05:40:31 am

Dick Francis (that full of wisdom jockey writer!) said something along the lines of: having courage doesn't mean not being scared. It means being scared but carrying on. Hmm. I've just done 6 pages on the terror that has been engendered by my twice weekly psychotherapy over the last three years. Anyone want to read that I'm willing to post!

19/11/2012 10:02:18 am

Hi Janet. It sounds like it has taken great courage to face psychotherapy and to persevere with it, in spite of the terror each week. Psychotherapy typically confronts us with hidden material, issues and experiences we normally repress or shy away from. How have you found the courage to enter that journey and to stay with it for three years? What is it that motivated and sustained you? I would love to hear more. With best wishes. Nick

Karen Bailey link

19/11/2012 06:13:53 am

In my forties and lost two husbands. In death, to the other side, their voices ‘strong and wise’ still remain, guiding me through this complex life. So, yes I have faced life’s adversity, but I do not consider this courageous. It just is. One has to embrace this life offered to us.

And yes, I dabble with extreme sports. I’ve taken part in the ‘Everest’ of Canoe Marathons, more than once. I ride a mountain bike in wild and remote places. Again I don’t consider these things courageous. Yes there is a slight madness to it. But there is also a choice. At the top of a mountain I can choose to walk. I can even choose not to go. In the kayak I can choose to paddle to the bank and say ‘enough’. Yes there is a sporting achievement, but any sense of courage is probably just ego.

So why respond to the blog ‘courageous spirit’? It was very much a reminder of one of my MA papers. Whilst the paper was entitled “Space: The Freedom to be Creative” it was very much about courage. And so here is a little of it. It is fair to say that the paper was also an indulgence in some of Maslow’s work.

(Maslow, 1963) tells us the creative attitude requires courage, he intimate that fears disappear when we are courageous; and that fears are our biggest blocks to creativity. To have such courage we must trust in self and in the world. He says “It is also clear that this kind of trust in ourselves-facing-the-the-unknown-future is a condition of being able to turn totally naked and whole-heartedly to the present.” A form of self reflexive judgment.

Maslow defines ‘being in the present’ as a loss of ego which he says is one of the paths to finding one’s true identity, one’s authentic nature. He goes on to describe being in the present as having a number of qualities; such as ‘giving up the past’, ‘giving up the future’ and ‘narrowing of consciousness’. Maslow also includes ‘innocence’, where innocence is “naked to the situation, guileless, without shoulds or oughts without fads fashion and habits; innocent people receive what ever happens, react without surprise shock or denial. (Maslow, 1963)

Maslow also defines something he calls ‘primary creativity’ as “that which comes out of the unconscious, out of the deeper self”, (Maslow, 1958) suggests that “we are generally afraid of this portion of ourselves and therefore try to keep it under control”. He tells us how “from this unconscious comes the ability to play, to enjoy, to fantasy, to laugh, to loaf, to be spontaneous and creative.” The primary processes, those unconscious processes of cognizing, are very different from the secondary processes in which we are logical, sensible and realistic. In the 21st Century, in this very logical world, there is something about having courage to blend both primary and secondary processes.

And so, if I am to provide an example of “me” being courageous – then maybe it is this. Summer 2008, I found myself at the most northerly tip of Newfoundland, the place where it feels possible to touch Labrador; where there is a remoteness I have never experienced before. Totally remote. I found myself alone, genuinely alone. In this place I found “myself facing self” asking such questions as “what is this life I lead?” “Why am I alone here in this remote wilderness (what choices have I made)?” and “What impact do I want to have (in this world)?” Questions that require courage to answer them and even more courage to live out the answers.

And when I am being my most courageous – when I have the humility to be “present” and “innocent” and to stand up for what I believe in. It is about reflexivity, being aware of the personal, social and cultural context in which we live and work and to understand how these impact on the ways we interpret our world.

Leila

19/11/2012 09:24:44 am

Dear all, so many thoughts on courage from you while i reflect on mine! Is it in your words Nick, where i dare not venture into the dangers set by the world? Maybe i was shying away from so many while going through three wars, and a most difficult relationship that lasted fifteen years. Is it in your words Fiona, where i faced a sick daughter lying helplessly for four years in bed? Or is it in your words Karen, where we face the paradox of our existence in dread, while removing layer after layer of our deep unconscious processes to reach the bare truth in ourselves facing courageously our naked self. This self that is capable of everything and nothing. Where is courage i wonder? In our choices, in facing our demons, in going forward when the dread of our life calls us to end it? Yet, we go on. We go deeper into the primary and the secondary. We dive in the waters of fear not knowing what's next. Is Joshua the leader to another kind of salvation Ian? Are we leading now in this time of troubled earth, and where is our responsibility in this ocean of phantoms that are struggling while making a path towards total destruction? Or is it simpler really? Just trying to entrust someone with yourself when humanity is living through abuse as well as slavery. The ‘other’ enslaving the soul, the body, the mind and the heart while we trust blindly, courageously, and lovingly.

Karen Bailey

19/11/2012 10:08:16 am

Hi Leila. Mine is not a paradox of our existence in dread – however it is more of a playful creative space. By allowing our childlike self to emerge we change ourselves, which in itself will create a ripple effect with all those we have contact. So mine is a light space in which we grow into ourselves – a space of innocence. It is 'being' without expectation.

19/11/2012 10:28:12 am

Hi Leila. Thank you for sharing such honest and moving glimpses of some of the incredibly difficult experiences you have faced, and the courage you have demonstrated to face them. I like the vivid way you expressed courage as 'facing our demons...going foward when the dread of our life calls us to end it...diving in the waters of fear without knowing what's next'. It points towards deep inner qualities such as choice, faith and trust. There was something about your style and insights that reminded me of Kahlil Gibran who, as you may know, speaks of the relationship between courage and love. Perhaps love at some existential and experiential level can give us the strength to overcome our fear, and to act in the world? With best wishes. Nick

19/11/2012 10:11:47 am

Hi Karen and thank you for sharing such personal experiences and reflective insights. I felt struck by the relationship between courage and 'embracing' in your first paragraph in the face of intense adversity. It points towards choosing to go on, to continue being alive even when life itself could feel very bleak. I was also struck by the relationship you/Maslow drew between courage and creativity. Perhaps creativity always implies some kind of risk, the courage and curiosity to be truly experimental. And I loved the very vivid image you shared of standing in Newfoundland, the questions that experience posed for you, your courage in embracing a choice to respond. Thank you for sharing so personally and with such profound insights from your life experiences and studies. With best wishes. Nick

19/11/2012 10:32:50 am

Nick, not to chose to fully embrace my life would be illegal and immoral......
And so I find creativity and implicitly, playfulness... :-)

20/11/2012 06:28:18 am

Hello Karen, thank you for your note on playfulness. i do agree with you wholeheartedly that there is an element of child-like discovery involved. When the primary and secondary meet; it is the meeting of two giants trying to merge as one. This is a challenge that takes a lot of soul searching to align the two when they collide. For this; i call it a paradox. The paradox of human nature that seeks being and non being at once. It is the conscious logical conversing with the unconscious pure gold Jung spoke about. The way i see it at this stage in my life; this merging would be filled with courage, apprehension, dread and, yes, maybe playfulness at times. May you always have child-like experiences. Warmly, leila

Karen

20/11/2012 08:00:21 am

Leila, thank you for such a lovely description of paradox..... K

Ian

19/11/2012 07:31:12 am

I agree with Fiona's comment - I think that we rarely recognise a courageous act in ourselves, yet find it much easier to see it in others.

I quite like this, it definitely keeps my head from swelling (too much), and allows me to see the best in others, when so often its easy to be critical and pick fault.

The internet is a wonderful tool, I did a quick search for the definition of courage, and found the following as a Top Ten:

Courage is a sense of confidence.
Courage is a sense of fearlessness that no matter the outcome, one has sufficient coping skills to deal with a situation.
Courage is not stupidity and blindly charging into harm's way.
Courage is the ability to deal with negativity, including negative responses from others.
Courage is the ability to deal with rejection, abandonment and dislike of others.

I like all of these, not least because in this "Top 10" there are actually only 5!!

Not surprisingly I find it difficult to offer an example of a personal courageous act. Instead, I'd rather point you to a man of great courage, I offer the story of Joshua (found in the book of Joshua (I guess the clue is in the name!), Old Testament of the Bible), where i counted at least 10 times that God tells/instructs/reminds and encourages Joshua to be Courageous, as God has stuff for him to do, not least stepping into the enormous shoes left by Moses and leading the Israelite Nation. Its definitely easier to be courageous when we are not alone, when we are encouraged, and when we don't realise we are being courageous.

19/11/2012 10:40:45 am

Hi Ian and thanks for the note. I liked your Top 10(5) comment. ;) I notice how many of the 5 points you listed are qualities often associated with resilience, the emphasis being on 'ability to deal with'. I found this helpful, the notion of building capacity for courage rather than it just being a one off feeling or action. Perhaps its partly about taking courageous steps and, thereby, progressively desensitising onself to the underlying fears? It's interesting how the biblical account places such emphasis on courage, again in the face of adversity, and how courage is associated with trusting in God and taking decisive action in the face of threat and fear. I'm reminded too (in light of Leila's final comment) about how the new testament speaks of love driving out fear. Finally, I liked your final points about exercising courage in the context of a supportive and encouraging relationship or community. With best wishes. Nick

the courageous gp :)

19/11/2012 09:50:10 am

Courage is not a normal word I associate with myself. In fact, I have been called a "angst hase" (fearful rabbit) more than once.

In thinking about courage, I think that there is the element of not focusing on myself but rather on a "worthy cause". Once I take my eyes off this "cause", the fears return and I can be better described as the opposite of courage. For me, worthy causes are found in the good old book, especially in its discussions on loving mankind.

Lately, I have been thinking about the "cost" of courage as well as the need to be faithful in being courageous. By being courageous, I risk swimming against the tide, being exposed to risks that I don't yet understand, or even suffering for the so called courageous act that I have done. At each point in time, I can choose to turn away, and to decide otherwise.However, I believe that true courage is faithful in the completion of the cause. To continue with what I believe in despite the costs...

As a means of encouraging myself, I remind myself that courage is also a discipline. It gets easier as one stays stoic and does not give in to fear. With time and practice, what one is fearful of stops being scary as a tool of fear.

19/11/2012 10:52:18 am

Hi gp and thanks for the note. I haven't heard 'angst hase' for a long time...it reminded me of happy times in Germany! :) I like your emphasis on what we focus on, whether we focus externally on 'the cause' or internally on how we are feeling, and how that can affect how we may choose to act. I think you are right that courage necessarily implies risk, sometimes self-sacrifice or swimming against the tide, and that this can be very costly. Perhaps the issue is, as you say, choosing in spite of the cost. In that case, the cause must be something we consider to be more important than our own safety or an alternative path. I like your comment that courage is a discipline, something that can be learned and developed. It think it links to Ian's comments above about a growing 'ability to deal with'. With best wishes. Nick

Hannah Wright

19/11/2012 11:23:30 am

Hi Nick, I think this is brilliant. For one, I really like your writing style. It is easy to read, but still sounds very professional. I also like the content. I think that courage is an issue that many people struggle with as we are all scared of doing certain things, such as defending ourselves when people throw out hurtful comments or when people attack us. I sometimes struggle myself with courage, but this blog entry has inspired me to try harder to be a stronger person. :-)

19/11/2012 12:08:48 pm

Hi Hannah. Thanks for the note and for such encouraging feedback. I think you are right that many people struggle with exercising courage. Perhaps some people hide it better than others? Your comment about defending ourselves made me wonder whether there is sometimes courage in not-acting too, e.g. choosing not to act in a way that's inconsistent with how we want to be, in spite of a provocation. I'm pleased you felt inspired...your feedback has inspired me too. :) With best wishes. Nick

Kate

21/11/2012 06:40:39 am

You’ve called me a courageous woman, Nick, but I don’t consider myself that.
You know – as do some of your ‘followers’ - about some of the things I went through in the 18 months between the end of 2008 and mid-2010. It included the deaths from cancer of two of my best friends, and then the sudden deaths of two of my team members at work. That shook the whole organisation. But behind the scenes (and only very few people at work knew this) I was also going through the breakdown of my marriage. And by mid-2010 our organisation had been restructured and many of my team, including myself, had been made redundant. It was a very bumpy ride indeed.
But it didn’t take courage to get through it. For me it was a classic case of “keeping calm and carrying on” or as it’s been said: “if you’re going through hell, just keep going”! I was able to do that because I had support. This came from friends and people like you at work, who were just there when I needed you (classic 'en-courage-ment'), and especially my two incredible adult children. Importantly, it also came from an excellent counsellor. And this is where the link with courage may come in.
In thinking about this, I also looked up a definition of ‘courage’. The one that I liked (not in Ian's list above): the ability to confront fear, pain, uncertainty…. The key for me lies in the idea of confronting, and not just in getting through tough times. Getting through all of those things in those traumatic 18 months was one thing. Confronting my own inner fear, pain and uncertainty was different. The ‘getting through’ was mostly public, but the confronting was definitely very private and deeply personal. I had to re-connect with my deep inner self. It was an experience I will never regret, for it transformed me. So if there was courage, it was internal and very private, and not the bits that you knew about!

21/11/2012 11:13:51 am

Kate, reading your posting felt like looking in a mirror.
Best wishes Karen

21/11/2012 01:44:58 pm

Thanks, Kate, for being prepared to share so openly some of the deeply painful experiences you have faced. I found your distinction between simply 'getting through' and confronting very helpful. It sounds like a deeper choice, a deeper encounter with experience. I was encouraged and inspired to hear how your courage-to-confront has led to an inner transformation. That's an interesting dimension to courage that seems to link to Ian and gp's comments about developing courage or becoming more courageous (above), as if by exercising courage we become changed. With best wishes. Nick

Bridget

21/11/2012 01:51:59 pm

Hi Nick

Thanks for such a brilliant blog!

I agree with so much of what you and your followers have already said about the subject! I’m also really humbled by some of the examples quoted in these comments.

My example of courage seems very small in comparison and so it would be easy for me not to offer it but then I guess that is the very point you are making – courage is about doing the thing that we are afraid of and sometimes that thing may seem small to others but in our hearts we know that it was a courageous act. For me, there have been days when just getting up and walking out of the house has been a victory over fear.

It’s also very difficult for me to talk about courage without talking about faith as, without faith, I don’t think I would be very courageous!

One event in particular comes to mind for me...

I was all grown up and had left home years ago. I now lived a long drive away from my parents. Whenever I left them after a visit “home”, they would wave me off as I drove down their driveway off into the distance. Often my mum and I would be crying. Each time I left, I felt an increasing tug from God that I should hug them before getting into the car. However, I was doing a good job of ignoring the tug because the prospect of hugging my parents was excruciatingly embarrassing. Despite being a close and loving family, we didn’t really do hugging or any of that sort of stuff and the very idea of it made me cringe with fear.

Unfortunately for me, God wasn’t letting up. The tug had now become a prod. So, I knew that this time I left I had to give them each a hug. I knew it was important. But....I couldn’t face it so I just got in the car and they waved me off as usual. I felt terrible and God wasn’t too impressed. I drove for an hour and then decided to stop at a beauty spot and read my bible figuring that this would give God an ideal opportunity to show me his forgiveness, stop hassling me and make me feel better about the situation. Only the passage I read in the bible underlined the fact that I should have given my parents a hug. Worse than that... I felt that He was telling me to GO BACK and do it. AAAAAAAAAAAAAGgggggggggggghhhhhhh. So after trying for a while to dismiss this thought, I decided that I would indeed turn around and go back and hug my parents...

I was terrified. They would think I was nuts. I told God that I would go back and do this but I was just literally going to hug them and then leave and he would have to deal with the fall out as that was all I was capable of doing. (said in a petulant, “you want me to do this so you’d better come through” sort of way).

However, after getting over myself a bit, a funny thing happened. With each passing mile, I became less afraid and my whole being felt as though it was being strengthened. My fear, turned to peace which then turned into a kind of intrigue as to what God was going to do. I still had butterflies in my stomach but they were hopeful butterflies.

I finally arrived back at my parents’ house....two hours after I had left. Gulp! I got out of the car, went into the house, hugged them, mumbled something about wanting to say good bye properly and then left, got back into the car and drove off again. Strangely, they didn’t seem surprised or concerned by my return. They actually looked quite joyous! Had God prepared them? I have no idea. Had he blessed them? Absolutely! None of us have ever discussed this crazy incident but they look forward to their hug every time I leave now!

Is this a tale of "courage" or "en-courage-ment" from the Great Encourager himself??

Bridget

PS Nick, thank you for being one of the most encouraging people I know!

21/11/2012 02:06:42 pm

Hi Bridget. Thanks for such encouraging feedback and also for having the courage to share your own experience and insights. I was struck by your opening reflections on courage as an inner dynamic or action, in a sense unrelated to the apparent size of the task. In that sense it's a highly subjective phenomonon. It's about 'what it would take for me to do this' rather than what it would take for someone else to do it.

I loved your story about hugging your parents, partly because it brought back memories of a similar struggle I experienced in the past with my own parents. I remember well that feeling of awkwardness, that decision to hug them anyway and the similar response to that which you received from your parents.

That makes me wonder how enriched ours and others' lives would be if we were able to act more courageously more often, overcoming personal and cultural obstacles or reservations and acting on deeper convictions, just as you did in that situation. Having faith that God will guide, strengthen and act can certainly make a difference for some people (see Ian's comments above).

With best wishes. Nick

Leanne

21/11/2012 01:59:04 pm

Whew, feel really scared of posting after such wise words, and feel that my experiences are so slight compared to the challenges described by you wonderfully honest people. So this is taking a certain type of courage right now!! And to cement my image as a wimp, let me tell you that a week or so ago, I was sitting in a departure lounge so scared prior to a short business flight, that I was hyperventilating, weeping silently behind my sunglasses, face paralysed and barely able to whisper my terror on the phone to my husband back home, thats how fearful I was. Maybe the courage was getting on the plane nevertheless ? In the last few years I have faced cancer and the treatment for that, and faced the fear of dying and leaving my young children, and my lovely husband and all that is sweet about this world. I agree that in those circumstances, courage isn’t required as you simply do what you have to do, and follow instructions, and get through each day. If anywhere, the courage for me lay in deciding to declare the goodness of God in that situation, whether I lived or died. I wasn’t brave enough to declare that God would heal me but I knew emphatically that He would take care of me. People told me I was brave and inspiring and all that stuff - but it felt easy at the time. I think my children (aged 6 and 10) were incredibly courageous in their acceptance of all that was going on, and thier ability to be normal. Becuase I realise now that watching from the outside makes more of a call on your inner strength than simply enduring it yourself. So for me, courage is a very complex mix of things, which ebbs and flows at different times (often surprising times!). And it was clearly well in abeyance in that departure lounge!

21/11/2012 02:23:01 pm

Hi Leanne. Thanks for sharing something of your experience so openly and honestly. You have certainly faced some difficult challenges in life. I found myself wondering what it was about the recent flight that caused such terror for you. I believe that getting on the plane in spite of the fear was an example of courage.

I was struck by your reflections on how you felt and dealt with the threat to your health, that sense of just having to get on with it, and your courageous determination to act in a way that you believed was right and true (to declare the goodness of God) in the midst of, or even in spite of, what you were going through.

I was also struck by how that situation called for, perhaps evoked, courage in others around you. In that sense, I wonder if courage may sometimes be something evoked within us, not simply something we choose to exercise of ourselves.

Finally, I liked your observations that courage is a complex and that it ebbs and flows. It doesn't seem like a linear or rational phenomenon in my experience. I definitely feel more courageous, or able to act more courageously, at some times or in some situations more than others, and often I have no idea why.

With best wishes. Nick

Jane Holliday

22/11/2012 11:52:12 am

Hi Nick. I beleive that courage grows like a tree from a small acorn. I beleive it grows naturally, but not easily, it takes time and patience, and must be fed and nurtured. Like you at school i had so little courage but as god has allowed me to face bigger and bigger challenges and learnt that i could cope with bigger issues. I can reflect now that my courage has grown. When my mum died of cancer then 2 years later my sister also passed away, along with all the other stuff that comes with being a wife and mother, i confess i wondered if i had the courage do deal with this. Once i had managed to get through that i realised that i had confidence to go for my dream and go to university. Even with a disability "the world's my oyster". I have also notices that others can often see the courage you have before you do yourself.

22/11/2012 09:47:38 pm

Thanks for the note, Jane. I loved your expression, 'it grows naturally, but not easily'. You too have certainly faced difficult and painful challenges in life and thank you for sharing some of them so honestly here. I have always thought of courage as acting in the face of fear. Your comments, along with those from a number of other people here, make me wonder whether courage is broader than this, something like facing a challenge in the midst of adversity and stepping forward into that challenge rather than giving in or falling back. In this way, courage is closely related to resilience and determination.

I was struck by how you are able to look back over time and see how your courage and confidence has grown, enabling you to face and deal with greater challenges. This links to Ian's, gp's and Karen's comments above about developing courage or progressively learning to be more courageous. It's as if acting courageously is character-building, that we are changed, built up, strengthened by exercising it (see Kate's comments above). I notice that you, like some others above, notice God's presence or activity in what you have experienced which provides you with an inner strength and frame of reference to make sense of your experience.

I loved your final comments about having the confidence to go for your dream. It sounds like facing and learning to deal with challenges in your life has built your confidence in what you are capable of handling and doing and opened up new and exciting possibilities for you. Whereas courage is often associated with self-sacrifice, you have reminded me of the potential life-giving benefits too. With best wishes. Nick

22/11/2012 11:30:01 pm

Hi Nick I know this is only my theory but i beleive that resillience is a product of courage and they can grow hand in hand also that in most cases can breed confidence. From my work i can see that courage can be found in so many places and situation, for some clients getting out f bed, knowing what the day will bring, is amazingly couragous and as scarey and challenging as climbing a mountain for another person..