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A gift of appreciation

24/7/2013

24 Comments

 
​The weather this year has been crazy. First we had months of rain, now we’re baking in the heat. I’m glad to live where the weather changes from season to season, from day to day. There’s something about contrast that enables us to appreciate something…or someone, afresh. Confucius said, ‘If the land was always filled with sunshine, it would soon turn to desert.’ How right he was. A life without diversity, without contrasting experiences, would feel bland and boring and lack perspective.

Take, for instance, any type of food that you really love, that gives you greatest pleasure. Now imagine eating that same food for every meal for the rest of your life. Every day, every meal, same thing, day in, day out. Or imagine listening to your favourite album all the time. Just one album, same sound, same lyrics, no change…ever. The expression ‘too much of a good thing' comes to mind. It’s as if we need contrast and variety to truly enjoy and appreciate something, anything.

Perhaps there’s a point here, a truth embedded deeply in the human psyche, that should cause us to pause and reflect. Next time something or someone doesn’t meet our hopes or expectations, perhaps it can help us to appreciate more when something or someone else does. Perhaps our disappointments and failures can provide a backdrop that helps our successes shine more brightly. Perhaps our experiences of godlessness can help us appreciate those times when God feels near.

A friend jokes ironically, ‘every silver lining has a cloud’. It’s as if no matter how good things are in the moment, there’s a shadow side or it won’t last. There will always be a change in the weather, the mood, the circumstances that surround us. Perhaps, paradoxically, there’s a dimension of hope in this, an opportunity to reflect on what matters most to us, on our transient human life and experience, and to discover richer veins of happiness than we would ever have thought possible.
24 Comments
Margarita
26/7/2013 01:53:37 am

Tthanks for the gift. I recently knew abt Gestalt. A friend of mine told me her experience and the importance of having finding Gestalt´s knowledge. I read your gift appreciation and it cough me, it touched me, it took me to a safe place. I was needing it today. Thanks again. Margarita

Reply
Nick Wright
26/7/2013 01:54:57 am

Thanks, Margarita, for such heart-warming feedback. With best wishes to you. Nick

Reply
Coach Bethania Escotto link
26/7/2013 07:26:56 pm

Thank you Nick! Very good as usual!

Reply
Nick Wright
27/7/2013 09:47:14 am

Hi Bethania and thank you for your gift of appreciation! With best wishes. Nick

Reply
Liz
28/7/2013 12:48:42 am

It's helpful to realise and remember that we need balance in our lives, and that "there is a time for every purpose under heaven" (Ecclesiastes, and sung by Simon & Garfunkel). thanks Nick

Reply
Nick Wright
29/7/2013 01:53:17 am

Hi Liz and thanks for the note. As I read your quotation from Ecclesiastes, it reminded me of a phenomenon in Gestalt psychology known as 'figure' and 'ground'. It's as if our dark times may provide the backdrop or context against which we are able to fully notice, experience and appreciate the light times. I think this dynamic has important spiritual parallels too. With best wishes. Nick

Reply
Helen Chilvers link
31/7/2013 04:59:53 am

Thank you Nick. Wise words and useful reminder. Including all aspects of life - the gestalt approach to me reminds me to be present - to not resist but yield, learn and appreciate whatever is... Thank you for the excellent reminder. Lovely! H

Reply
Nick Wright
31/7/2013 12:08:09 pm

Hi Helen and thank you for such kind and affirming words. Yes, there's something about living in the here and now (sometimes easier in principle than in practice!) that can enable us to be fully present to and appreciative of the present moment. With best wishes. Nick

Reply
Frauke Eicker
2/8/2013 05:12:42 am

Hi,

I saw your post and really liked it as well as your website. It's good to know that there are others out there who combine coaching and christian values in a way that's real and down to earth.

Frauke

Reply
Nick Wright
3/8/2013 08:11:44 am

Hi Frauke. Many thanks for your encouraging feedback - much appreciated. With best wishes. Nick

Reply
Alex Smith
5/8/2013 01:40:14 am

Hi Nick, first time I have paid attention to your work and wish to say a big thank you, not only for this post on appreciation which resonates loudly with me, but also for the generosity with which you share great articles on your website. I loved the gestalt case study with Sally. I am committed to work appreciatively in organisational life, I find too little appreciative dialogue takes place and indeed it can feel a little scary to encourage more of it in some organisations! Alex.

Reply
Nick Wright
5/8/2013 01:42:50 am

Hi Alex and thanks for such generous feedback! I would be very interested to hear more about your experiences of using appreciative dialogue, including those moments when it can feel a little scary. With best wishes. Nick

Reply
Sarah Veall
6/8/2013 06:21:41 am

Thank you for sharing these lovely, calm thoughts. Very in line with many of the NLP pre-suppositions not least that everyone has their own map of the world and a great way of "synthesising" happiness (what we create when we don't necessarily get what we want) and strengthening the left side of our pre-frontal cortex!

Reply
Viviane, coach link
7/8/2013 06:26:25 am

Which Eastern philosophy does state that "the only thing that does not change is change"? This is what, creating imbalance, keeps balance, allows to evolve, gives salt to life. Of course, sometimes there is too much or not enough salt: thus we keep looking for what really suits us... Thank you so much for sharing this Nick. Viviane

Reply
loola link
26/12/2013 08:37:01 pm

Hello, I like the way you post on this topic, which is useful information

Reply
friv 6 link
9/1/2014 09:16:52 pm


Weather changes from season to season and your adaptation can bring experience and feel interesting repercussion of each passing season are memorable.

Reply
frivjuego link
16/1/2014 10:31:29 am

Many thanks for what you have brought to us. Thank you for the gift. A friend of mine told me of his experience and the importance of having Gestalt search of knowledge. I need it today. Thanks again. Margarita. We love and expect from you.

Reply
Para juego link
12/2/2014 08:17:17 am

A good review really gives a good feel for the amount of time you can be certain, it really can make you have a heart that can best confront this new thing.

Reply
mr bean games link
10/6/2014 10:27:14 am

A life without diversity, without contrasting experiences, would feel bland and boring and lack perspective.

Reply
wwe game link
17/6/2014 07:54:12 am

Or imagine listening to your favourite album all the time. Just one album, same sound, same lyrics, no change…ever.

Reply
Claudia Andrea link
15/7/2014 09:18:03 am

truth, your reflection about the weather is great, because if we compare the various situations of life based learning search, joys, sorrows, triumphs, failures, significant experiences, all of which are part of the nuance of life, charm and learning eternal mysteries to challenge and learn to understand and decipher on earth as human beings,
     have much reason to say that life would be very boring without nuances, but eh there the ability of every human land passer, the art of deciphering riddles and face the existence in the best way possible as we have come to this life to be born grow to learn to be happy, fulfilling a mission and then we are called to regreo home through the eternal sleep. life is very short, we are transient passengers on this train of life, so enjoy this privilege while our energy remains vital to our existence Pro

Reply
friv 3 link
6/8/2014 02:24:43 am

What's even more comfortable when you are entertaining after a day of hard work.

Reply
tai game co tuong apk link
3/9/2014 10:58:05 pm

"If the land was always filled with sunshine, it would soon turn to desert." - I like this.

Reply
kizi link
24/12/2015 01:20:30 am

When your free time, what are you offen do? With me, can listen to music, watch Film or play games online if have SmartPhone.

Reply



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    ​Nick Wright

    ​I'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? ​Get in touch!

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