 Accidents happen. How do you respond to incidents that knock your carefully-made plans sideways? I felt a bit nervous as I entered the office and, then, decidedly embarrassed as I accidentally tipped a hot cup of tea down my smart white shirt. The client looked bemused, as if trying to stifle a smile, before racing out of the room to return with a bright yellow t-shirt. Kind man. Not to be out-done by this, my brother went to a formal, tense business meeting with a client. As he approached their office, a car mounted the pavement and hit him, sending him flying into a wet, muddy gutter. His case burst open and his papers went everywhere. It almost broke his thigh but it also broke the ice. It’s funny how, sometimes, when things go wrong – paradoxically – it makes things go right. In both cases, what felt like a complete disaster in the moment turned out to be the very thing that enabled a different type of contact, a positive bridge of human empathy and relationship and a better outcome. An emotional experience of humour or relief melted the rational, technical barriers that could otherwise have proved more difficult to navigate. Yet how many of us would welcome such ‘accidents’ when they arise, or see only how they wreck our plans, expectations or delicate egos? It calls for a different kind of awareness, expectation and stance in the world. It means being open to possibilities, opportunities and potential in whatever happens. It’s far less about being planned and more about being prepared. It’s consistent with Professor Richard Wiseman’s view of what makes some people (apparently) ‘luckier’ than others (https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p06t5w4d). In coaching, we call this developing a client’s resource-fulness. Often, it entails enabling a person to approach the world, work and relationships with open hands, mind and heart; faith, hope and love. So – how do you respond to serendipitous ‘accidents’? How do you build clients’ resourcefulness? How can I help you to be more resourceful? Get in touch! info@nick-wright.com
24 Comments
Tara Parker
15/5/2019 07:31:23 pm
Nick, this is a great perspective! What a perfect way to look at making a deeper connection upon first impression! This will have me being more mindful of my initial interactions with others!
Nick Wright
15/5/2019 07:39:06 pm
Thanks Tara - yes, and especially when things appear to go so wrong!
Berit Ladefoged
15/5/2019 07:37:42 pm
What a great blog - you make people smile and feel awesome :-)
Nick Wright
15/5/2019 07:39:30 pm
Thanks for such kind feedback, Berit! :)
Kathrin
15/5/2019 09:26:13 pm
Wenn am Ende alles gut ist, dann kann man die unangenehme Situation später als nicht so schlimm sehen. Vielleicht kann man sogar darüber lachen. Denn man ist sehr dankbar, dass alles zu einem guten Ende gekommen ist.
Nick Wright
15/5/2019 09:44:05 pm
Hallo Kathrin. Ja, das wird im Englischen als "der Vorteil der Rückschau" bezeichnet. Vielleicht können wir im Zuge der Entwicklung einer größeren Widerstandsfähigkeit einen Vorteil der Voraussicht erlernen: eine positive Vorwegnahme, wenn sich etwas als „falsch“ herausstellt?
Marita Jane Laxa
16/5/2019 07:18:43 pm
Love this!
Nick Wright
16/5/2019 07:19:30 pm
Thanks Marita! 😀
Linda Davis
16/5/2019 07:20:33 pm
Reminds me — when I was in high school in Colorado Springs -/ a group of guys put an administrators car on top of a flag pole.
Nick Wright
16/5/2019 07:21:40 pm
Hi Linda. I would love to see how they did that! I remember, while in theological college, seeing someone's bike in a tree top. I couldn't work out how they had managed to do that either.
Kristine Hart
16/5/2019 07:22:23 pm
Whoops 💫
Nick Wright
16/5/2019 07:22:41 pm
Hi Kristine. Indeed.
Suzanna Smith FCIPD
16/5/2019 07:23:49 pm
Great stories Nick and shows resilience to overcome the unexpected. Drastic but excellent ice-breakers too, to suss out who you will enjoy working with ...& not. (Hope you enjoyed wearing your yellow T-shirt with pride!)
Nick Wright
16/5/2019 07:28:09 pm
Hi Suzanna. Lovely to hear from you after such a long time! Yes, it certainly reveals character in ourselves and in others. And yes, yellow is my favourite colour. :)
Emma Bernard
17/5/2019 09:39:15 am
How I understand and appreciate this, thanks Nick!
Nick Wright
17/5/2019 09:40:26 am
Thanks Emma. It sounds like you may have had similar experiences! Would you be willing to share some here?
Emma Bernard
17/5/2019 09:50:46 am
Nick - all the time! That is life! Being open to « accidents », accept it and more of that, consider it as a new possibility to reach each other is so refreshing and strong! I feel it!
Nick Wright
17/5/2019 10:23:59 am
Hi Emma. Well said. Here's a short piece I wrote about a person who most inspires and challenges me to live in this way: http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/look-out.
Neill Hahn
19/5/2019 11:20:11 pm
Very thought provoking Nick. I had never thought about the way that accidents often bring people together by arousing empathy and interest (as drama will do), even if it is often just temporarily. (From now on I will take more interest in that aspect of accidents & at least build up my own resource-fulness.)
Nick Wright
19/5/2019 11:22:51 pm
Thanks Neill. That’s very honest and encouraging feedback!
Suzanna Smith
20/5/2019 09:17:49 pm
Your “Accidental” article reminded me of the time I was interviewing in the little room beside our kitchen area at Tearfund on a hot and sunny day – I was interviewing with you. In between the short turnaround slot of saying goodbye to one candidate and another panel member collecting the next candidate from Reception, I had quickly taken the opportunity to go to the kitchen for a new set of drinking glasses and to re-fill the water jug.
Nick Wright
20/5/2019 09:18:44 pm
Hi Suzanna. Long time no see! Yes, very funny memories from those days. Great to see that you haven’t lost your zany sense of humour!! 🤪
Dr. Rohan Karpe, PhD MA BEng
17/6/2019 10:23:09 am
Beautiful are the humans with cultivated temperaments, at ease in the emergent, the contingent, the fleeting, the unpredictable, the accidental, and even in the face of the monumental!
Nick Wright
17/6/2019 10:24:07 am
Hi Rohan. Very poetic! Leave a Reply. |
Nick WrightI'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? Get in touch! 
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