Accidental

15/5/2019

Accidents happen. How do you respond to incidents that knock your carefully-made plans sideways?

I felt a bit nervous as I entered the office and, then, decidedly embarrassed as I accidentally tipped a hot cup of tea down my smart white shirt. The client looked bemused, as if trying to stifle a smile, before racing out of the room to return with a bright yellow t-shirt. Kind man. Not to be out-done by this, my brother went to a formal, tense business meeting with a client. As he approached their office, a car mounted the pavement and hit him, sending him flying into a wet, muddy gutter. His case burst open and his papers went everywhere. It almost broke his thigh but it also broke the ice.

It’s funny how, sometimes, when things go wrong – paradoxically – it makes things go right. In both cases, what felt like a complete disaster in the moment turned out to be the very thing that enabled a different type of contact, a positive bridge of human empathy and relationship and a better outcome. An emotional experience of humour or relief melted the rational, technical barriers that could otherwise have proved more difficult to navigate. Yet how many of us would welcome such ‘accidents’ when they arise, or see only how they wreck our plans, expectations or delicate egos?

It calls for a different kind of awareness, expectation and stance in the world. It means being open to possibilities, opportunities and potential in whatever happens. It’s far less about being planned and more about being prepared. It’s consistent with Professor Richard Wiseman’s view of what makes some people (apparently) ‘luckier’ than others (https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p06t5w4d). In coaching, we call this developing a client’s resource-fulness. Often, it entails enabling a person to approach the world, work and relationships with open hands, mind and heart; faith, hope and love.

So – how do you respond to serendipitous ‘accidents’? How do you build clients’ resourcefulness?

How can I help you to be more resourceful? Get in touch! info@nick-wright.com

24 Comments

Tara Parker

15/5/2019 07:31:23 pm

Nick, this is a great perspective! What a perfect way to look at making a deeper connection upon first impression! This will have me being more mindful of my initial interactions with others!

Thank you for this!

Tara Parker

Nick Wright

15/5/2019 07:39:06 pm

Thanks Tara - yes, and especially when things appear to go so wrong!

Berit Ladefoged

15/5/2019 07:37:42 pm

What a great blog - you make people smile and feel awesome :-)

15/5/2019 07:39:30 pm

Thanks for such kind feedback, Berit! :)

Kathrin

15/5/2019 09:26:13 pm

Wenn am Ende alles gut ist, dann kann man die unangenehme Situation später als nicht so schlimm sehen. Vielleicht kann man sogar darüber lachen. Denn man ist sehr dankbar, dass alles zu einem guten Ende gekommen ist.

15/5/2019 09:44:05 pm

Hallo Kathrin. Ja, das wird im Englischen als "der Vorteil der Rückschau" bezeichnet. Vielleicht können wir im Zuge der Entwicklung einer größeren Widerstandsfähigkeit einen Vorteil der Voraussicht erlernen: eine positive Vorwegnahme, wenn sich etwas als „falsch“ herausstellt?

[Hi Kathrin. Yes, that is known in English as 'the benefit of hindsight'. Perhaps, as part of developing greater resilience, we can learn 'a benefit of foresight': that is, to have a positive anticipation when things appear to go 'wrong'?]

Marita Jane Laxa

16/5/2019 07:18:43 pm

Love this!

16/5/2019 07:19:30 pm

Thanks Marita! 😀

Linda Davis

16/5/2019 07:20:33 pm

Reminds me — when I was in high school in Colorado Springs -/ a group of guys put an administrators car on top of a flag pole.

Will never forget that day -/ thanks for the reminder. Loved it then. Love it now.

16/5/2019 07:21:40 pm

Hi Linda. I would love to see how they did that! I remember, while in theological college, seeing someone's bike in a tree top. I couldn't work out how they had managed to do that either.

Kristine Hart

16/5/2019 07:22:23 pm

Whoops 💫

16/5/2019 07:22:41 pm

Hi Kristine. Indeed.

Suzanna Smith FCIPD

16/5/2019 07:23:49 pm

Great stories Nick and shows resilience to overcome the unexpected. Drastic but excellent ice-breakers too, to suss out who you will enjoy working with ...& not. (Hope you enjoyed wearing your yellow T-shirt with pride!)

16/5/2019 07:28:09 pm

Hi Suzanna. Lovely to hear from you after such a long time! Yes, it certainly reveals character in ourselves and in others. And yes, yellow is my favourite colour. :)

Emma Bernard

17/5/2019 09:39:15 am

How I understand and appreciate this, thanks Nick!

17/5/2019 09:40:26 am

Thanks Emma. It sounds like you may have had similar experiences! Would you be willing to share some here?

17/5/2019 09:50:46 am

Nick - all the time! That is life! Being open to « accidents », accept it and more of that, consider it as a new possibility to reach each other is so refreshing and strong! I feel it!

17/5/2019 10:23:59 am

Hi Emma. Well said. Here's a short piece I wrote about a person who most inspires and challenges me to live in this way: http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/look-out.

In fact, as I write today, she is re-visiting the community that was devastated to take more relief supplies and oversee repair work to the home of a family who were among the most vulnerable.

Neill Hahn

19/5/2019 11:20:11 pm

Very thought provoking Nick. I had never thought about the way that accidents often bring people together by arousing empathy and interest (as drama will do), even if it is often just temporarily. (From now on I will take more interest in that aspect of accidents & at least build up my own resource-fulness.)

19/5/2019 11:22:51 pm

Thanks Neill. That’s very honest and encouraging feedback!

Suzanna Smith

20/5/2019 09:17:49 pm

Your “Accidental” article reminded me of the time I was interviewing in the little room beside our kitchen area at Tearfund on a hot and sunny day – I was interviewing with you. In between the short turnaround slot of saying goodbye to one candidate and another panel member collecting the next candidate from Reception, I had quickly taken the opportunity to go to the kitchen for a new set of drinking glasses and to re-fill the water jug.

Mike had had a plumber in, to check/fix something and unaware that the water pressure had been knocked to “high” for testing, when I turned the tap on, the water shot out like Niagara Falls and completely drenched my upper body.

I was wearing a pink silk shirt so ended up looking like a Bay-Watch Babe coming out of the ocean, but holding a tray and wearing a skirt. I quickly ran to my HR colleagues, borrowed Gill’s jacket to cover myself up; asked Gill and Rob to mop up the kitchen for me and then rushed back to the interview room to display the jug and glasses, just before you entered the room with the next candidate. It was hilarious! Still makes me laugh thinking about it.

20/5/2019 09:18:44 pm

Hi Suzanna. Long time no see! Yes, very funny memories from those days. Great to see that you haven’t lost your zany sense of humour!! 🤪

Dr. Rohan Karpe, PhD MA BEng

17/6/2019 10:23:09 am

Beautiful are the humans with cultivated temperaments, at ease in the emergent, the contingent, the fleeting, the unpredictable, the accidental, and even in the face of the monumental!

17/6/2019 10:24:07 am

Hi Rohan. Very poetic!

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