Blank sheet

2/8/2016

The best bit about the first day of a new year at school was getting a brand new exercise book. I remember writing my name v…e…r…y carefully on the front cover, trying to make my writing as neat as possible. And then the first page, blank and clean. I remember the feeling too as I wrote on it for the first time. The new page was a thing of perfect beauty. I didn’t want to make any mark that could spoil or detract from it. The pen would glide smoothly on the soft, fresh paper. Exquisite.

The new book represented a fresh start for me. No matter what successes or mistakes I had made in the previous year, no matter how many scribbles on the cover or crossings out on that year’s tattered pages, it was all behind me now. I could start all over again. All that new day, the future, held for me now was potential. And that experience, that awareness of endings and beginnings, has stayed with me, firstly when I became a follower of Jesus and then in my professional life too.

Gestalt psychology places interesting and helpful emphasis on ‘closure’. It marks the ending of one phase, one episode, one experience and thereby creates positive psychological and emotional space and energy to transition healthily to another. There are parallels in personal development and change leadership too. It’s as if by pausing, acknowledging and honouring one stage of our lives or work, it can enable us to face, invite and embrace the future with open arms, minds and hearts.

So what does this mean for leaders, OD, coaches and trainers? 1. Plan for key milestones, e.g. in strategies, projects and personal lives. 2. Invite people involved to say how they would love to mark them. 3. Create space to address the past, e.g. celebrations, failures and learning as well as thanks, apologies and forgiveness if needed. 4. Pay careful attention if people feel stuck, unable to move on. 5. Engender a sense of blank sheet and renewal as people move forward.

43 Comments

Petra Bindoo

2/8/2016 02:34:29 pm

Wonderful read. It is truly an empowering experience when we are not fearful to examine our past and embrace our successes, and it is even more enlightening when we acknowledge our mistakes (even the really bad ones we want to forget) ...

Nick Wright

2/8/2016 02:34:54 pm

Thanks for your kind feedback, Petra! All the best. Nick

Lesley O'Rourke

2/8/2016 02:35:37 pm

You have captured so eloquently what we all miss from grade school. So often I hear people comment about the hamster wheel of work. Perhaps if we were more intentional about recognizing and celebrating milestone events, creating closure on past milestones, and then looking forward to that new book or chapter, work would feel more energizing that it often does. Thanks for sharing!

2/8/2016 02:36:04 pm

Thanks Lesley! Yes, the image that comes to mind for me is the difference between a sentence or a paragraph with no punctuation vs the same with punctuation. There's something about the punctuation that creates space, mood, variety etc. that enriches and makes reading experience feel more interesting, engaging and sustainable...if that makes any sense? All the best. Nick

Eric Taylor

2/8/2016 02:36:39 pm

Thank you, Nick for this insight. An empty page, whether it is a brand new Moleskine or a blank Word document, represents endless possibilities to me. This idea of closure and new beginnings is especially poignant right now as I find myself in “career transition.” I have been given the opportunity to remember my accomplishments and reflect on what I could have done better while eagerly anticipating the future.

2/8/2016 02:38:47 pm

Thanks Eric. I can relate to your sense of ‘endless possibilities’ when I encounter a blank page. :) Sounds like you are in such a place at the moment. I hope you are encouraged by your reflections and excited by the possibilities that lay ahead. All the best. Nick

Robert Hodge

2/8/2016 02:39:53 pm

Both psychologists as well as change facilitators use the stages of grief - denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. That works for grandmothers as well as the "way we have always done things". In projects, we often celebrate what we did and how we did it, remembering that it was great for the time. With a new season, we must do things differently. It is not anything about doing it better, because that suggests that we have done poorly. Rather, it is neutrally about doing our best in this new season. For people, the best advice given to me when I left an organization to pursue coaching yet without my first client - "Take your wife out to dinner and celebrate." "What will I celebrate?" "That the good Lord loves you and is in control." Indeed, that is always enough and worthy of celebration.

2/8/2016 02:40:19 pm

Well said, Robert! :) All the best. Nick

Sekararajan Balagurunathan

2/8/2016 02:40:54 pm

There is a fear of future days and how well it would be and what benefits it going to produce amidst rumors of variety from every body till it bring you on to the right track.

2/8/2016 02:41:31 pm

Hi Sekararajan. Yes, in times of certainty, all kinds of anxieties can be triggered and rise to the surface. One way we can help people develop their resilience for the future is to help them pause and reflect on what they have achieved and worked through in their lives so far. It can help to build their confidence in their abilities to cope and thrive in the future too. All the best. Nick

Deniece Donaghy

2/8/2016 02:42:34 pm

Refreshing and insightful read.

2/8/2016 02:43:02 pm

Many thanks, Deniece!

Yolanda Gray

2/8/2016 02:43:47 pm

New beginnings, transition, closure--we're all passing through these times; that describes my favorite client/group. Those who want a fresh start, a new way of living. Thanks for the reminder!

2/8/2016 02:44:22 pm

Thanks Yolanda. I'd love to hear more about how you approach it! All the best. Nick

2/8/2016 02:44:51 pm

One of the most powerful ways is to share my story, Nick Wright. I interweave it with the ways we can move through to new beginnings.

2/8/2016 02:45:18 pm

Thanks Yolanda. Excellent. :)

Agnes Branecka

2/8/2016 02:45:51 pm

The closure is a very important part, as doubts can truly ruin your future no matter what you select.

2/8/2016 02:46:17 pm

Thanks Agnes. Yes, our past certainly influences our outlook and attitude towards the future. Acknowledging and resolving issues from the past, as well as we are able, can free us to approach the future afresh. All the best. Nick

Thandi Mvakali

2/8/2016 02:47:04 pm

Sometimes one swings back and forth. There is sometimes a tendency to go back to the old,(even though it no longer serves you well), because it offers the comfort of familiarity ....

2/8/2016 02:47:29 pm

Thanks Thandi. That's very true! All the best. Nick

Stephen Blakesley

2/8/2016 02:48:34 pm

Walk away and into taking a new direction.

2/8/2016 02:48:55 pm

Hi Stephen. You reminded me of wise words from an African friend: ‘The past exists only in the memory; the future only in the imagination. The only true reality is the here and now’. All the best. Nick

Shanti

3/8/2016 02:16:26 am

Thank you Nick ... i needed this. Much gratitude!

3/8/2016 12:23:14 pm

Thank you, Shanti. I'm encouraged to hear it! All the best. Nick

Funmi Johnson

3/8/2016 12:22:26 pm

Yup, I remember that lovely blank, fresh exercise book feeling, from every new school year. A feeling that you could do anything, become anyone. Not sure when it made the transition from optimism to trepidation though. Perhaps as we grow older, we know more, have more experiences of failure behind us and so become much more risk averse.

3/8/2016 12:27:53 pm

Hi Funmi. I think that's such an interesting and stimulating insight. Yes, I'm sure that our attitude, feeling and stance towards the future are influenced by our experiences to date, consciously and subconsciously. Whether it makes us more courageous or risk averse may depend on what we have been through, how it felt, how it impacted on us, what its consequences were, what sense we made of it, what life story we and others have constructed personally and culturally around it etc. I'm reminds of Ellis' ABC Theory of Emotion. Are you familiar with it? All the best. Nick

Melba Cumplido

4/8/2016 09:23:45 am

Excellent example!

4/8/2016 09:24:12 am

Thanks Melba! All the best. Nick

Steve Kopp

5/8/2016 10:30:36 am

Nick, thanks for the article. I would only add that I encourage people to be thoughtful and reflective even when it's not a 'key milestone' That makes the focus on the larger and frequently more difficult transitions. Sometimes having people mark small transitions helps them to gain mastery and confidence in their journey through transitions. As you're reading this, cells in your body are dividing and growing, dying, changing. Not that we celebrate that small a transition, but noticing and learning through gentle transitions builds resources for the larger transitions that we will eventually encounter.

5/8/2016 10:38:07 am

Thanks Steve. I think that's a useful insight. It resonates for me with on-going awareness (insofar as that is possible), noticing (and not-noticing), sense-making, resilience, resourcefulness and reflective practice. You have also prompted me to think about how what may be an 'objective' key milestone in an overall project sense may not be the same thing that represents, subjectively, a key personal milestone for individuals on route. Paying attention at both levels can be so important and life-giving, especially during times of significant change. All the best. Nick

Anji Marychurch

5/8/2016 10:39:06 am

Thoughtful comments Steve which echo with my own work with execs in career transition....reflection is honoured as part of the process of valuing what has already been achieved and acquired through experience. This always comes before any action and builds resilience and confidence in an individual to move forward successfully to the next phase.

Irma Thierry

19/8/2016 04:06:34 pm

Hi Yes I agree with Nick .We are in the here and now..Kind Regards. Irma Thierry

19/8/2016 04:07:01 pm

Thanks Irma. All the best. Nick

Eric Lynn

20/8/2016 12:21:54 pm

Great post Nick. I often feel a sense of 'diffuseness' (if this word exists) with this Question. The transition is just this - transition - which for me does not necessarily mean closure of the old but rather decreasing the space it holds in life. When we're talking about real Closure (capital C), it's transformational, with no possibility of reverting back to the old. Here, we're standing at the edge ...

20/8/2016 12:23:57 pm

Thanks Eric. I think the contrasting experiences of 'diffuseness' and 'edge' express well something of what I was trying to articulate here! All the best. Nick

Susan McNeal Velasquez

22/8/2016 05:07:56 pm

Hi Nick. I love the blank page analogy! Such an important topic. Most of us have never been taught that an integral part of any 'cycle of action' is going to 'nothing' which is that pause that acknowledges completion. I notice with my clients that often there is a fear of stopping ( letting go, relaxing, breathing out) and is often an unconscious fear of death/the unknown. If that pause is ignored or consistently avoided the result is often chaos...like keeping our foot on the gas pedal of our car and stopping only when a wall appears that we crash into so that we are stopped and the choice point is out of our hands.

22/8/2016 05:12:16 pm

Thanks Susan! I love the way you express the 'nothing' and some of the reasons why people may avoid it. Fascinating insight. You may relate to some of the ideas in these related short pieces? http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/pit-stop; http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/cycles. I'd be interested to hear what you think. All the best. Nick

Zette Villaflor BSBM, MSL

23/8/2016 08:48:16 am

Hi Nick, great post! The part where you stated, "there are parallels in personal development and change in leadership too. It's as if by pausing, acknowledging, and honouring one stage of our lives or work, it can enable us to face, invite, and embrace the future with open arms, minds, and heart", is exactly the story of my life. After relocating to FL, within 6 months my life changed 360. You see, I've always been an adaptable person in any given day or environment. But for some reason, the tragedy was hard for me to adapt. It was as if I lost myself (i.e. character with open arms, etc.). But with perseverance and motivated myself, I found away to welcome my new life beginning of this year. The stage from moving to one phase to another was the hardest thing to do in my life. Your post reminded me of how far I've come and succeeding slowly but, better than nothing. Your 5 list on your latter paragraph were exactly I did at my last employer leaving a legacy, which I didnt know until a few months ago. The only thing I would add to your list as #1 is being adaptable. Without the skills of adaptability at any given moment, things will only fail if one didn't have the capability to be adaptable. As we know we can plan accordingly and meticulously, but when things doesn't happen according to the plans, it can be hard for some people to be able to get backup. I saw this from my personal and professional experience. Adaptability is the key to hold the 5 list you mentioned, bc it gives a person to pause and clear the mindset so the person may fulfill the list. Thanks for your post! Zette

23/8/2016 08:51:30 am

Thanks for your note, Zette, and for sharing something of your personal experience in this area. It sounds like you have been working through some profound changes in your life...and it's good to hear how you are steadily moving forward. Yes, I agree that adaptability is important too. Thanks again! All the best. Nick

Aleksandra Nosalik

23/8/2016 11:36:15 am

Nice topic. I was starting from beginning '' hundred '' times already. This feeling of being really close to final destination and loosing it suddenly to start all over again made me feel helpless and even sick sometimes. Moving on can be hard but we need to go forward. Being stuck to the past has no positive results at all but from the other hand these burned bridges seem to look like lost opportunities and I found it hard to write my new blank page without looking back or regrets. There is always something on my mind what partially influence presence steps or close future.

23/8/2016 08:16:55 pm

Hi Aleksandra and thank you for posting such an honest personal response. Yes, it can be hard to move on from the past sometimes - to truly leave it behind us. It's as if the past can feel very present. At times, the past can almost flood the present, sometimes painfully and unexpectedly. This is where I have found insights from Human Givens therapy helpful - are you familiar with it (http://www.hgi.org.uk/)? A wise African friend said to me: 'The past only exists in our memories. The future only exists in our imagination. The only true reality is now.' I'm learning to focus on the new page, the blank page, and to write a new story in my life. All the best. Nick

Martella Diederiks

24/8/2016 09:51:57 am

I so many times hear 'new beginning, clean page' but I never looked at it the way you have painted the picture for me. It is really a transition from the then to the now and what makes it more relevant is that a closing for me is the re look at what was with the amazing opportunity in front of me to change the direction of my life's story.

24/8/2016 09:52:47 am

Thank you, Martella. You expressed well what I was trying to express here! :) All the best. Nick

Blank sheet

Leave a Reply.

Nick Wright

Archives

Categories

Blank sheet

Leave a Reply.

​Nick Wright

​Archives

Categories

Nick Wright

Archives