Choose wisely

5/6/2019

What principles, beliefs or values guide your most important decisions? Olson (below) sounds a word of caution and Nickols offers a useful grid. Let me know what you think!

‘There are no solutions; there are only trade-offs.’ (Thomas Sowell)

It was a critical juncture in my life so I met with a friend and mentor, Adrian Spurrell, to think things through. I had lots of ideas and some concerns but struggled to clear the mental fog that was amassing in my head. What to choose, what to do, when there are so many issues and options in the frame yet no clear and definitive way forward? Adrian challenged me by drilling down hard to my values, to what (for me) is non-negotiable and what isn’t, to sift the proverbial wheat from the chaff. The serious conclusions I reached in that conversation 2 years ago have guided my major life decisions since.

This approach resonates with Dr Deborah Olson’s view in Psychology of Achievement (2017) who comments that: ‘When clarifying your goals, be clear about what you want – and consider the things you don’t want to risk.’ Don’t want to risk adds a useful and important dimension to more conventional goal-orientated conversations that focus solely on what we hope to obtain or achieve. I worked with one organisation where the founder lived an aspirational life and achieved amazing things at work but lost sight of his family. His daughter committed suicide. The ethical stakes can be very high indeed.

Fred Nickols offers a simple and practical tool called a ‘Goals Grid’ that can be used to help identify goals and priorities (https://www.nickols.us/versatiletool.pdf) at personal, team and organisational levels. It poses two key questions: ‘Do I/we have it?’ and ‘Do I/we want it?’, places these questions on the axes of a 2-by-2 grid, adds the alternative responses of ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ against each question and proposes an action for each domain. The resultant combinations and options are: Have + Want = Preserve; Have + Don’t want = Eliminate; Haven’t + Want = Achieve; Haven’t + Don’t Want = Avoid.

Nickols’ model can be applied flexibly and creatively to incorporate a diverse range of helpful angles in leadership, OD, coaching and training conversations; e.g. strategic-visionary, spiritual-existential, psychological-relational and tactical-systemic. It ensures that trade-offs are made as conscious decisions with transparency and awareness. It also reminds that, when reaching towards a brighter future, to notice, value and protect who and what matters most. ‘Not jeopardising what we already have can matter as much as gaining new things.’ (Olson, 2017). Always keep values in sharp view.

32 Comments

Chris Lever

5/6/2019 04:25:28 pm

Enjoyed the article Nick. Just written a book about navigating change which draws on experience in Business and as a former commercial captain. Navigation is all about a continual set of choices many of which although framed in regulation are trade offs. So your paper resonated and a fresh way of looking at goal setting. So thanks. Hope you are keeping well. Chris

Nick Wright

5/6/2019 04:28:21 pm

Thanks Chris. Your book sounds interesting. What's it called? Has it been published yet? Good to hear from you again after such a long time!

6/6/2019 11:38:18 am

Hi Nick. The book is published and available as a hard copy at present and in a couple of months as an e version from Amazon. Its feel and design are very contemporary which is why the publisher needs time to convert into their format.

Its called Navigating Change. A Leaders Guide.

It is uncompromising but filled with hope that things can be different. Henley Business School have adopted it as core reading for all of their post grad studies. You can read it on a flight to the US or between Dubai and Hong Kong.

We all worked very hard to write something that was relatively short, easy to read and packs a punch. Feedback has been good and is having most impact with Leaders who are wrestling with stuff and are open. We currently sell them through our website which also is new on www.teleiosconsulting.com

6/6/2019 11:39:24 am

Thanks Chris. I look forward to reading it! On a related theme, you may find this short piece interesting: http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/waves

Tara Parker

6/6/2019 01:41:37 am

Nick,

Always a pleasure to read your work! I like the direction you went with this piece as it reminds me of Dr. Susan David (Emotional Agility) who talks about being connected with our values to help guide our decisions and using emotions as data to our situations. Often times situations become a driver for worrying versus a recognized opportunity for strategy. By referencing our values and accepting our emotions we are able to move through the darker moments of our lives to the light at the end of the tunnel.

This is why coaching is so important.

Nick, how do you advise others to keep their values in the forethought versus the hindsight?

Tara

6/6/2019 02:52:02 pm

Thanks Tara. I found your reflections on emotional agility interesting. The question I most often pose to bring values to the forefront of a client's awareness and attention is, 'What is most important to you in this?' I may also use the '7 Whys' technique which involves posing the question 'Why' to each of a client's responses to a question. You may find this related piece interesting? http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/existential-coaching

Des Reddy

6/6/2019 11:32:53 am

Love this Nick 👍

6/6/2019 11:33:42 am

Thanks Des! 😀

Robert Williams

6/6/2019 02:41:39 pm

The Bible is my guide.

6/6/2019 02:45:28 pm

Hi Robert. Do you have any examples of using the Bible for guidance that you could share here..?

Adrian Brown

6/6/2019 03:12:50 pm

Enjoyed the post, Nick. What many business leaders, at all levels, fail to recognise is that growth is a sacrificial act.

Without being clear what they are not willing to sacrifice they blunder through the fog and only realise what they have lost when it is gone.

Maybe a bit of a cliche...but how often do we hear about entrepreneurs burning out?

The role of a leader is to create the environment for everyone under their leadership to thrive and perform at their peak, this includes themselves.

6/6/2019 03:19:36 pm

Thanks Adrian. That's an interesting perspective: 'growth as a sacrificial act.' We often think of loss in change leadership - as in leaving behind that which we believed and felt was important in the past to move on to a different future - but useful to consider counting the cost in advance of growth too.

8/6/2019 04:09:51 am

Nick, the challenge is being able to choose what is sacrificed.

8/6/2019 04:11:20 am

Hi Adrian. Yes, especially as the ‘what’ often implies a ‘who’ too.

Neill Hahn

6/6/2019 03:13:51 pm

Great article Nick, and by coincidence, Nickols model was introduced to me during a discussion on decision making, over lunch just this week. The person explaining it couldn't remember what is was called, so thanks for the name and link to it. One of the important points that isn't highlighted by the the model (although you leaned toward it in your discussion) is how powerfully emotion affects our motivation. So although we may think that we are consciously and wisely considering actions within those quadrants we can be inadvertently diverting our direction. The square marked Don't Have, Don't Want / Avoid can hold traps to watch out for. So many times I have asked clients about what they want to achieve (or wanted to, before things went wrong) and then heard them unhesitatingly explain all the things they DON'T (or didn't) want, believing they are answering the question. I call that Working for What You Don't Want, and is an important (and common) mix up to watch for and avoid. (Avoid avoidance!) I read and hear this motivational mix up in many "why" explanations from politicians, parents etc. Once we start working-for-what-we-don't-want (avoidance driven) people start going backwards, cornering themselves in ever increasing avoidance traps. My advice is always this: work only for what you DO want (which means stopping and identifying that) and then manage what you don't want. These are both positive, 'do-able', measurable actions, whereas avoidance takes forever, and achieves nothing satisfying. [An example of a don't want: "What do you want out of this relationship" Common answer "It's important that I don't end up divorced!" Of course it is, but to make plans in that direction doesn't give anyone anything to actually achieve or dream about achieving.]
Thought I'd mention it because that space in the model seemed to be downplayed in the article as if it's unimportant, (my lunch friend wasn't sure what that 4th option was about), yet it is where too many people put their focus; fear-motivated toward what they are trying to avoid. Understandable, but not helpful for making wise moves forward.

6/6/2019 03:30:17 pm

Thanks Neill. I think that's a fair challenge and a very helpful addition to the conversation. I agree that emotion can play a very powerful role in motivation and decision-making. In my experience, we sometimes don't know what our true beliefs and values are until we feel an emotional and physical response to them being affirmed or threatened. Your comments about working towards what we do want rather than what we don't reminds me of the contrast between solutions-focused and problem-solving approaches.

You reminded me of some words I once wrote to open an article:

'It’s amazing how different things look when you’re cruising at speed just 10 metres off the ground. "Don’t look at the trees, don’t look at the fence. You steer towards whatever you focus on so keep looking straight ahead!" I could hear the words of my instructor resounding in my head as I clung desperately to the handgrips on my first solo flight with a paraglider, dangling helplessly in mid-air with wind rushing past and a gritted determination not to embarrass myself by hitting a tree or any other bone-breaking object at full velocity.'

7/6/2019 12:51:33 pm

Great description Nick! It's a good job that your Do Want: "...keep looking straight ahead!" over-rode your Don't Wants "Don’t look at the trees, don’t look at the fence" else it might not be such a good story (or perhaps have a less intact story teller 😜).

7/6/2019 12:53:52 pm

Thanks Neill. It might have been a more exciting and dramatic story...if I had lived to tell the tale..! 😎

Jeff Ikler

6/6/2019 04:37:41 pm

Especially like #4 - "eliminate" People and companies are often "additive" – they take on more without pushing something else to the side. It's a major reasons behind burn-out at work and at home. As my good friend and mentor, Amnon Levav, taught me years ago: eliminate rather than dilute.

6/6/2019 04:40:52 pm

Hi Jeff. Yes, that is especially true in the sector in which I have spent most of my working life: organisations with a social purpose that are driven to make a difference in the face of overwhelming needs and demands. People in such organisations are often highly motivated and, equally, at high risk of burnout owing to an unwillingness to say 'no'.

Charmaine Camille Sherlock, BA, ATC, MCOD

6/6/2019 04:42:06 pm

Thanks for this Nick- very timely for me!

6/6/2019 04:43:39 pm

Thanks Charmaine. That’s very encouraging to hear! 😀

V.S. (Leadership Coach) Kumar,MCC.(ICF)

10/6/2019 07:54:53 pm

Thank you sir for making it more clear and doable.

10/6/2019 07:55:23 pm

Thanks V.S. You're welcome!

Tim Page

13/6/2019 09:32:06 am

"consider the things you don’t want to risk" ... wise words, and useful grid tool. Thank you.

Always interested in values exercises for clients - any recommendation re values inventories or questionnaire welcome!

13/6/2019 09:34:51 am

Thanks Tim. I would highly recommend Jackie Le Fevre at Magma Effect for values-related tools: http://www.magmaeffect.com/ She's great!

16/6/2019 01:25:51 pm

Thanks Nick.

16/6/2019 01:26:34 pm

😀

Adrian Spurrell

17/6/2019 08:47:30 am

As I recall a key question in the conversation was along the lines of 'what is it that frightens you', or it may have been 'what is it you fear most' when we were talking about the future. Either way, surfacing that fear seemed to play an important role in enabling you to move forwards.

17/6/2019 10:21:17 am

Hi Adrian. Yes, I remember that felt like a very powerful question at the time and tapped into Olson's 'What don't you want to risk?' and, thereby, into my deepest values.

Ian Henderson

26/6/2019 10:18:46 am

Insightful as ever, Nick. Thank you for sharing. We have used this grid on many projects and it has usually had very positive feedback.

26/6/2019 10:19:12 am

Thanks Ian. That's good to hear!

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