Crossing cultures

3/8/2016

Working cross-culturally can be a fascinating, illuminating and enriching experience. Picture this: here is an interview panel for a job in the UK. The candidate is from South East Asia and the lead interviewer asks her to comment on her strengths and weaknesses. The candidate bows her head. Her long hair falls across her face and she falls into silence. The interviewer restates the question, this time enunciating each word slowly and clearly in case she hadn’t understood. Still silence.

The interviewer now looks awkward. I feel curious so I ask the candidate, gently, ‘Is there something about the question that makes it difficult for you to answer?’ She lifts her head and responds in apologetic tone: ‘Yes. In my culture, it would feel very immodest to talk about my own strengths in this way.’ I say, ‘OK…so if we were to ask you to leave the room for a moment and to invite your colleagues into the room, what kind of things do you think they might say to us about you?’

Her face brightens immediately and she reels off a list of things she excels in and things she could develop further. It was as if, culturally, it was OK to talk about herself in this way from a third party perspective but not OK to talk about herself directly. Plaister-Ten (The Cross-Cultural Coaching Kaleidoscope, 2016) talks about this type of encounter and experience as working with the cultural self and cultural mandates. It’s about learning to navigate cultural beliefs, assumptions and norms.

Plaister-Ten also offers some interesting culture-based coaching and interview questions, e.g. ‘What do you think members of your family would think about that?’ (if respect for elders and allegiance to family is high); ‘What do you think your boss would do in such a situation?’ (if power-distance is high); ‘If you were in a position of power in the government, what would you do about that?’ (if deference to institutions is high). So, I’m curious – how well do you navigate different cultures?

16 Comments

Eberhard Bohrisch

3/8/2016 10:33:12 am

A very nice example for circular questioning, one of the many systems-thinking-based ways to change perspectives and to irritate and overcome personal or cultural habits. Thanks for the interesting example!

Nick Wright

3/8/2016 10:38:11 am

Thanks Eberhard. I would be interested to hear more. Do you have any other examples of 'circular questioning' or 'systems-thinking-based ways to change perspectives' that you could share from your experience? All the best. Nick

Stella Goddard BA (Hons) Registered MBACP (Accred)

3/8/2016 10:34:03 am

Another excellent post Nick. I work with many cultures and have much personal experience of this. I had an interesting experience with a client who insisted that I went through the door first as we first entered my consulting room. There was a moment of awkwardness as we both said 'no, after you.' The awkwardness turned to smiling as we talked about it and in the end were able to compromise. I think being open about it helped build the therapeutic relationship. It is good to ask other people how things are for them. Being curious and genuinely interested builds relationships.

3/8/2016 10:41:59 am

Many thanks, Stella. Yes, it would be fascinating to explore in any therapeutic relationship - and perhaps even more so when working cross-culturally - what 'entering the room first' could signify in terms of personal and cultural beliefs, values and experiences (and wider contextual systems) and in relation to the therapeutic relationship itself. All the best. Nick

Cath Norris, MA, BA, Dip Couns

3/8/2016 10:35:22 am

Hi Nick, this such an important subject. Thanks for the great example that you used. I studied for a couple of years in a small group comprised of folks from 10 cultures. What stood out for me as a white British woman was the need to develop awareness of cultural privilege and dominance. I was blind sided by my own privilege and found to be patronising. There's a lot about being willing to admit to our ignorance and daring to be vulnerable when we are used to the security which our privilege affords us. I mean genuinely emotionally and psychological vulnerable in order to authentically relate with what it really means to come from a marginalised culture there's a frequently unspoken power dynamic playing out beneath privileged and marginalised cultures. I had an Asian manager who straight off the bat named the dynamics "I'm your manager and I'm Asian' which provided invaluable food for thought. I've done the same thing in my coaching and facilitation and find that it brings an audible sigh of relief and acknowledgement. Further more it invites those dynamics to be made explicit and worked with consciously. It opens us up (if we hold cultural privilege and dominance) to the aforementioned vulnerability as we invite feedback on our potentially negative use of unconscious privilege.

3/8/2016 10:47:58 am

Many thanks, Cath. Rich experiences and interesting insights! Yes, power dynamics (including historical and geo-peolitical) certainly play a part in how cultures are formed, experienced, what assumptions they hold and how they interact with one-another. I'm curious - what do you think lay behind the statement from your manager, 'I'm your manager and I'm Asian'? What cultural message do you think your manager intended to convey through that statement and through the way in which it was expressed? All the best. Nick

Shanti

3/8/2016 03:11:07 pm

Interesting post Nick! I am currently engaged in a project where my role to bridge cultural gaps between a European Donor and an Indian implementing organisation. Navigating through the dynamics of power and perceived authority is quite a challenging and tiring experience too!
I agree with Cath Norris about our privileges, prejudices, ignorance and vulnerabilities surface while working with cross cultural teams. Being aware of them and dealing with them, especially with my affinity towards my country, has been quite a struggle initially. However, voicing the concerns and making them explicit has helped me immensely.

3/8/2016 05:49:14 pm

Hi Shanti and thanks for the note. I worked for 15 years or so in the international NGO sector so can relate to some of the donor-implementer dynamics you describe, especially when each party operates from the basis of its own interests, goals, stakeholder expectations, cultural assumptions etc. Complex indeed!

Navigating between the parties in your kind of role can be, as you say, challenging and tiring. In my experience, it means that being clear with ourselves and others about our role and how we will approach it is really important.

If, for instance, I see it as my role and responsibility to resolve any tensions that may arise (which can be exhausting), that is very different to seeing my role as holding up a mirror to the parties involved, enabling them to reflect on tensions between them and facilitating them, where possible, to find their own solutions.

Does that resonate with your experience too? All the best. Nick

4/8/2016 12:59:13 am

That's helpful because I guess i was trying to resolve differences and mediate instead of facilitating. Thank you.
I am enjoying the frequency of your blogs and these discussions. I feel enriched. Thank you, Nick.

4/8/2016 09:07:57 am

Thank you, Shanti. I enjoy and appreciate your insightful contributions too! All the best. Nick

Julie Bullen

5/8/2016 09:51:41 am

Nice example! Any tips for helping a French and English Joint Venture understand each other even better? Julie

5/8/2016 10:13:52 am

Thanks Julie! I don't have any specific experience of enabling French-English joint working. Have you seen Geert Hofstede's classic work in this area? It could have some useful pointers. In my experience, having open conversations from the outset - which sometimes itself takes skilful facilitation - makes such a big difference. Posing questions such as,'What is possible (for this team, this venture) if we do this well?', 'What have been your most successful working relationships in the past?' (and invite to share actual stories) 'What was it about them that made such a positive difference?' (e.g. attitudes, behaviours, ways of working) 'What are the top 5 things you want and need from your partners in this venture to ensure that, from your point of view, the team relationship and venture are successful?' The goal here is to surface implicit cultural beliefs, values, assumptions, expectations etc. I would also ask, 'Since things will go wrong from time to time, how will we signal to each other if it does happen?, 'How shall we agree now to deal with it when it does happen?' And finally, 'How will we review the partnership on route as well as progress with the venture?' This positions the partnership and venture as a learning experience (a bit like action research). Hope that helps? Let me know how you get on! All the best. Nick

Carl Bishop

5/8/2016 10:15:50 am

It is unreal the things that we as humans use to justify behaviors. When I say unreal, what I really mean are the varying expectations set by the multitude of cultural norms. I by nature am a modest person, to me. Although I may not be that modest based on another one's observations. I think, in the scenario the rewording was perfectly constructed based on the interviewer's understanding of the situation. We would all be wise to remain cognizant when in such scenes. Thanks for the stimulus.

5/8/2016 10:28:57 am

Thanks Carl. Could you say a bit more about what you mean by 'unreal'? I haven't understood what you mean yet but I would like to.

I like your comment, 'I by nature am a modest person, to me. Although I may not be that modest based on another one's observations.' There is so much about e.g. personal and cultural beliefs, values, perspective, assumptions, inferences, interpretations etc. that can make interpersonal and cross cultural work interesting...and hard work!

You reminded me of my when I first visited and started working with people from the United States. At times, I felt quite bemused by what I encountered. My boss at the time who had far more international experience than me quoted the famous expression, 'Two nations divided by a common language' then said something I found very profound and useful.

He commented on how we tend to take extra care when working with people from different cultures who speak a different language to our own. It's as if the 'culture' issue is very explicit. He then said how we need to show the same sensitivity and generosity when working with people who speak the same language and yet whose culture could actually be quite different.

It was a good challenge. I had been making subconscious judgements based on my own cultural outlook and experience and it helped me to approach relationships with my US colleagues with greater openness, humility and curiosity. All the best. Nick

Frank Heath link

6/3/2018 11:28:01 am

Well, crossing culture is an exhilarating mind-boggling experience that provides functional trappings on initiating discussions and building tie-ups with different cultural peoples in the community. It facilitates training to under-trained pathfinders. I think the aim of the cross-cultural program is to enhance the effectiveness of a line-up and make each member of the workforce feel confident with their approach that they are implementing for dealing with the peoples across different cultural backgrounds. A leader must understand this concept to take his leadership performance to the peak level.

Arama Mataira link

11/4/2019 11:42:56 pm

A perfect example of indigenous people who are expert at navigating cultures meaning, we often have to put our cultures to one side to adjust to Western cultural norms. So these understandings across cultures are important and from my perspective, are like part of grounding a relationship (even in a short time like in the interview). Going beyond cross-culture (intra-cultural) and in to working between cultures (intercultural) is where I facilitate.