 How do you spot, address and avoid falling into the delusion trap? The problem with being deluded is that, when we’re in a deluded state, we don’t know we’re deluded. The word delusion comes from the same Latin root as deceived. If we knew we were being deceived when we are being deceived, we wouldn’t believe that which deceives us. So delusion can be something about being deceived and about deceiving ourselves too. It carries negative connotations of being firmly convinced of something that doesn’t correspond with reality or truth. The recent UK referendum on EU membership drew this phenomenon into sharp focus. After the results were announced, people on both sides of the debate commented that they were completely bemused that people on the other side had voted differently. Given that, in each side’s view, the ‘correct’ decision was clear, unambiguous and self-evident, they concluded that the most plausible explanation for the difference was that people on the other side had somehow been deceived. This begs interesting questions about who was deluded in making such claims and how we could know for sure what the reality and truth were in order to decide. Is there a definitive, unequivocal truth to be unearthed in such circumstances? Or is what appears to us as truth a reflection of how we construe complex and ambiguous ‘facts’ psychologically and culturally to create a coherent narrative that resonates with our beliefs and feelings and provides a sense of meaning for us? There are two important signals I have found it useful to look out for. If a person states an opinion as fact, I will challenge and invite them to personalise it: e.g. ‘This meeting is boring’ to, ‘I’m feeling bored in this meeting.’ If a person uses a word or phrase like, ‘Clearly’ or, ‘Obviously’, I will challenge them to reframe and personalise it too: e.g. ‘Clearly’ to, ‘It seems clear to me that’. This simple, practical technique can create a very significant shift in awareness, perspective – and choice.
45 Comments
Jan Moore
13/7/2016 01:08:19 pm
Do we really know why people voted the way they did? I'm an English woman living in the USA so I've been watching this from a distance. The media seems to have been pushing the view that the Brexit vote was purely based on immigration but this is a gross oversimplification. The main stream media is responsible for much of the deception and distortion of the truth that goes on in Britain and the US and unfortunately many politicians present their argument to support their own agenda. This makes it almost impossible for people to make informed decisions based on facts. When are awake to the global agenda you are less likely to be deluded because you question everything.
Nick Wright
13/7/2016 01:17:40 pm
Hi Jan and thanks for the note. Yes, the media plays a big role in shaping attitudes and beliefs, often based on a particular angle on an issue or story that appears more interested in creating drama than revealing 'truth'. I've been surprised to hear so many people in the UK comment that those who voted differently to themselves, 'Clearly had no idea what they were voting for.' It would open a very different conversation if we were to pause and ask, 'I wonder what convinced person X to vote so differently to me?' The challenge is, as you say, to be as awake as we can be to different truth claims and the assumptions and agendas that may lay hidden behind them. Not easy! I, like you, try to keep a global agenda in view because I'm aware that changing the frame of reference can change completely what sense we make of that which we see in front of us. All the best. Nick
Barry Jackson
14/7/2016 09:58:56 am
What a fascinating question. Thank you so much for making us think about it. My take on this is a little different. I'm not sure you can ever be certain that you're not deluded but I do think you can tell when you're vulnerable to being deceived (or to self-deception). It's natural to believe you're right, but the key question to ask yourself is, "Am I open to information that might lead me to change my opinion?" If the answer is "yes," you are a lot more objective than most. The next thing you need to do is to put that answer to the test with another question: "When was the last time I changed my mind about something and what prompted me to do so?" You may have answered "yes" to the first question but if you can't think of an example where you actually did so, you are definitely deluding yourself. "
Nick Wright
14/7/2016 10:08:37 am
Many thanks, Barry. I think those are great questions! It can also be useful to ask e.g. 'What am I not noticing?', 'Who or what is influencing what I am noticing and how I am feeling about this?', 'What deeply-held beliefs, values, interests, hopes or concerns is this tapping into for me?', 'What might somebody completely different to me (or in a completely different situation to me) be paying attention to in this?' So much depends on our willingness to entertain the possibility that we may be deceived or deluding ourselves - at least at some points - without even knowing it. All the best. Nick
Allison Dolan
14/7/2016 01:24:39 pm
Neuroscience can add some very interesting perspectives to this discussion. At times, the delusion is absolutely impervious to reality.
Nick Wright
14/7/2016 01:25:39 pm
Thanks Allison. I'm very curious - how can/does neuroscience show that? All the best. Nick
Robert Dallmann
14/7/2016 01:37:31 pm
LOVE TRUTH!
Nick Wright
14/7/2016 01:56:02 pm
Hi Robert - and YES to love Truth! I guess the challenge often lays in how to discern 'truth' in complex situations, especially where we can become deceived by our own blind spots, psychological defence mechanisms, cultural assumptions etc.
Robert Dallmann
14/7/2016 03:04:34 pm
I would ask a more basic and fundamental question
Carol Bleyle
14/7/2016 02:58:07 pm
Nick, this is a great topic to chew on. Your strategy of personalizing blanket statements makes tons of sense. And in larger issues, such as with the UK's referendum, I think it makes sense to acknowledge that even when facts are in evidence, different people will have different priorities which make those facts more or less relevant to a coming decision.
Nick Wright
14/7/2016 03:02:19 pm
Thanks Carol. I think it's also true that what we perceive as 'facts' are often representations of how a particular set of data, narrative or experiences can be selected and construed. All the best. Nick
Aramide Akisanya
14/7/2016 04:57:10 pm
Nick, I believe that different things matter to different people based on background, social status and current needs. Cases of delusion do not actually exist as an ideology is "truth" to the believer. Whoever wants to sell an idea that he/she believes is superior to that of others must first be able to empathize and also seek to understand the mindset of those with opposing views.
Nick Wright
14/7/2016 05:04:47 pm
Hi Aramide and thanks for the note. Yes, I believe that our background, social status, current needs etc. act, in effect, as filters for what we perceive and what sense we make of it. I think you pose an interesting challenge: 'cases of delusion do not actually exist as an ideology is 'truth' to the believer.' It best interesting questions about the nature of reality and truth and what can be known. If a person (or group) is unwilling and unable to see outside of its own viewpoint and, what's more, is blind to clear evidence that contradicts it, would you agree that could be conceived of as delusion? I agree that empathy is more likely to enable us to see different perspectives and create the relational conditions for working with people and groups with different views. All the best. Nick
Aramide Akisanya
14/7/2016 08:01:56 pm
I always enjoy reading your articles Nick, I learn so much. I see an opportunity for OD practitioners here, in which individuals/groups can be guided to identify their blind spots, and come to an appreciation of the the fact that there are different "truths" driven by several factors. Ultimately what matters is the health and performance of the organization rather than individual/group interests. When all are willing to put their differences aside and work together to build the organization, there are immense benefits to be derived by everyone on the long run.
Nick Wright
14/7/2016 08:06:38 pm
Many thanks, Aramide. I really enjoy and appreciate your insightful responses too. :) Yes, there can be very stimulating and useful conversations between OD practitioners that can help share ideas, surface assumptions, shift paradigms etc. For example, you could open a very interesting inquiry around your statement: 'Ultimately what matters is the health and performance of the organization rather than individual/group interests.' It begs so many interesting and potentially revolutionary questions that could be explored further. All the best. Nick
Melissa Lewis
14/7/2016 05:05:58 pm
Take your own thinking, draw a line, understand the thinking of the other side, draw a line, and figure out how to connect the two lines to make a circle.
Nick Wright
14/7/2016 05:07:12 pm
Hi Melissa. I really like the sound of that approach. It reminds me of managing polarities. Do you have an example you could share to illustrate what it could look like in practice? All the best. Nick
Dave Smith
14/7/2016 05:08:12 pm
People speak from one of three positions:
Nick Wright
14/7/2016 05:12:34 pm
Thanks Dave. I think another useful approach can be curiosity: 'How is it that I believe and feel what and how I do?', 'How it is that others believe and feel so differently?' and to be willing to entertain the idea that I may well be blind to something that others are able to see. All the best. Nick
Dave Smith
14/7/2016 05:17:50 pm
In terms of Brexit:
Nick Wright
14/7/2016 05:24:42 pm
Thanks for sharing such interesting perspectives on Brexit, Dave. I think you have illustrated well how people can become so convinced by their own perspective - especially when it taps into deeply-held beliefs, values, hopes, fears etc - that it can blind them to the possibility of seeing or appreciating any value in a different perspective. On a lighter note, you may enjoy this short video I saw today: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daB7np-RtOM :) All the best. Nick
Dave Smith
14/7/2016 07:23:28 pm
Hahaha - great! I also followed two further links from there, one possibly considered NSFW:
Fabio Polese
14/7/2016 07:26:35 pm
There are the facts and there are our ideas/believes about the facts. mediating between believes is not a winning strategy as they may be rooted so deep that challenging them may be perceived as a challenge to the person's self. fact, can however be dealt with. what I like doing is collecting as much relevant information as possible and present it to both parties... when they challenge it, I invite them to show me what they base their challenge on.
Nick Wright
14/7/2016 07:44:12 pm
Thanks for sharing such interesting insights, Fabio. I think you are right that, if we challenge fundamental beliefs it can evoke all kinds of defensive routines. Collecting and presenting relevant information can be useful in attempt to bring objectivity but it presents its own challenges too since 'relevant' depends on perspective and frame of reference.
Alubba Fenix
14/7/2016 07:46:26 pm
Beliefs should be firmly felt, but, loosely held. The key is to remain open to new information that would disprove your beliefs. I actually get excited when a person asks a question or offers new information that might cause a paradigm shift. Also, important to understand that absolute knowledge is unattainable, all we can obtain is practical knowledge that allows us to have an effect in the world. So the key question with belief is how does it enable myself or my client to have an effect in the world. Does it serve the desired Outcome, or does it hinder it. If it serves keep it, if not let it go. And always acknowledge that in an infinite universe, there will always be a belief that serves you better. We need to learn to dance at the intersection of knowledge and ignorance.
Nick Wright
14/7/2016 07:52:49 pm
Hi Alubba and thanks for sharing such interesting perspectives and ideas. I love your expression: 'we need to learn to dance at the intersection of knowledge and ignorance'. I too tend to feel excited when I experience a new insight or paradigm shift. It feels like a profound discovery. There are times, however, when I can feel less open to new or alternative ideas, especially if they fundamentally clash with beliefs and values that are precious to me. In those times, it is much harder to consider the possibilities in the other. So perhaps the challenge is to hold strongly to our beliefs and convictions, yet with a spirit of humility that helps prevent us becoming hard, dogmatic and closed. All the best. Nick
Victor Leon Ades
14/7/2016 08:08:03 pm
You are right Nick. Like the Quakers say we only carry a small piece of the whole truth. Some people take their beliefs as the real one and only true option and are not open to other´s . By doing so they get disapointed and deny the results not to feel deluded. This is so common in politics and ideologies for example...
Nick Wright
14/7/2016 08:12:04 pm
Thanks Victor. I may be right, in which case we are both right. I may also be wrong, in which case we are both wrong. Well, at least on this point! ;) I think your point about denial as a means by which to avoid a sense of delusion is very important. A common example in political circles is the dictator who appoints people who are only willing to tell him or her what he or she wants to hear. The opinions of others only serve to reinforce rather than challenge or illuminate the areas in which the dictator may be deluded. I believe the same phenomenon and dynamic can emerge in all kinds of power relationships. All the best. Nick
Lani Refiti
15/7/2016 08:57:11 am
It's another one of these constructs that is subjective in nature and is there such a thing as unequivocal truth? There is a verse from the Rig Veda "Truth is one..but the wise call it by many names" or essentially the plurality of truth. Going back to your question on how leaders know they're deluded? My take is support & being open to diversity. Surround yourself good people with diverse viewpoints and be open to the divergent ideas.
Nick Wright
15/7/2016 09:20:53 am
Hi Lani and thanks for the note. Yes, the idea of delusion as, in some sense, commitment to a belief or stance that is 'out of touch with reality' assumes a definitive reality or truth that is and can be known. That opens up a deeper, wider and fascinating conversation! :) In a leadership context, I think the Arbinger Institute's 'Leadership & Self-Deception' provides an interesting and useful insight into delusion by taking a more psychological than philosophical approach. Are you familiar with it? All the best. Nick
Míriam Silva
15/7/2016 02:21:49 pm
I believe that we as coaches need to develop but every day the significant ability to find the best words to reformulate thoughts and consequently the consciousness of our customers about something. I notice in this sense that the deepening of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) makes develop more and more this ability. What you presented in this discussion was in fact the practice of NLP.
Nick Wright
15/7/2016 03:59:55 pm
Thanks Miriam. Yes, there are certainly insights in NLP that can be useful, particularly mental maps: 'the map is not the territory' etc. All the best. Nick
Amy Murphy
15/7/2016 03:48:15 pm
Hey Nick - I like your practical reframing as quick "learns" (opposed to "wins") when working with clients. It starts to get people used to taking ownership of their own thoughts, feelings, and beliefs, and makes room for others to comment an opposing feeling. I often bring in Argyris' Ladder of Inference to remind that everyone has a different pool of data they are selecting from and to stay open to other's pools!
Nick Wright
15/7/2016 04:02:54 pm
Thanks Amy. Yes, Argyris' Ladder of Inference can be a useful tool for raising awareness of how assumptions are created and sustained as well as how they impact on perception, decision-making etc. All the best. Nick
E.G.Sebastian (CPC)
15/7/2016 08:48:59 pm
My brain spit out a reply instantly: "We are all 'deluded' - especially if you believe you are not..." :) - but you replied to the chatter in my head, right with your first statement "The problem with being deluded is that, when we’re in a deluded state, we don’t know we’re deluded. "
Nick Wright
15/7/2016 08:56:28 pm
Hi E.G. and thanks for the thoughtful reflections. Your comment about fanatics reminds me of the old expression, 'There are none so blind as those that won't see.'
Yolanda Gray
15/7/2016 08:57:10 pm
To some extent, E.G. Sebastian, what you said is true--we are all deluded. We have our own bias, beliefs, opinions--educated or not. One of the most powerful areas of life change is when I had a shift in thought or perspective. When I saw that the world was not as I saw it, but how I experienced it--wow, everything got different. This is especially important when dealing with addictions-which has been called the disease of perspective. It keeps addicts in delusion.
Cath Norris, MA, BA, Dip Couns
17/7/2016 10:39:09 am
Deluded implies seeing only what we choose to see. As a coach I pay attention to and name the story and signals which evidence a contradiction between a clients constructed perception and their secondary or marginalised experiences. Evidencing and exploring both aspects helps clients to identify and differentiate between their constructs, what these are based on and how they conflict with their marginalised needs and experiences. I trust and follow their signals, help to validate and unfold these and what we discover is a more authentic self.
Nick Wright
17/7/2016 10:42:16 am
Hi Cath. I LOVE the way you expressed that: 'I pay attention to and name the story and signals which evidence a contradiction between a clients constructed perception and their secondary or marginalised experiences.' Do you have an example from experience that you could share to show what that could look like in practice? Thanks and all the best. Nick
Cath Norris, MA, BA, Dip Couns
17/7/2016 11:39:44 am
It's lovely to be so warmly appreciated, thanks Nick :))
Nick Wright
17/7/2016 11:43:45 am
You are very welcome, Cath. :) Thanks for sharing such a great practical example from personal experience. All the best. Nick
Linda Szetoo
19/7/2016 12:10:26 pm
This is a good post. What is interesting is that people has been taught a certain value, beliefs, etc since they were a child. Challenging people to see that their values may be from the past and may not be from themselves, gives them a lot to chew on and digest. This also let the people realize they have choices to continue the same thinking or to change for something else that aligns with them.
Nick Wright
19/7/2016 12:14:11 pm
Hi Linda and thanks for the note. Yes, we certainly inherit beliefs and values from parents, school, peers, media etc. Knowing what values are genuinely our own - if that is even possible - is a profound challenge. You may find this related short piece interesting? http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/whose-thoughts-am-i-thinking Let me know what you think? All the best. Nick
Naomi Suzane
20/7/2016 02:10:24 pm
To build on the great comments made so far:
Nick Wright
20/7/2016 02:12:22 pm
Hi Naomi and thanks for the note. It sounds like you take personal accountability and reality-checking very seriously. You may find this related short piece interesting? http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/integrity Let me know if that resonates with you. All the best. Nick Leave a Reply. |
Nick WrightI'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? Get in touch! 
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