NICK WRIGHT
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Developing personal leadership

30/3/2013

69 Comments

 
​What is it that makes certain individuals stand out from the crowd? How is it that some people resist peer pressure, seize the initiative and radically break the mould? Is this kind of personal leadership, the ability to think freely, move proactively and act autonomously, something we should seek to attract and nurture in organisations? Could it release fresh energy, inspiration and innovation? The relationship between an individual, group and organisation is complex. Organisations as groups often foster consistency, continuity and conformity. We test people during recruitment for their potential fit, we induct and orientate people into the existing culture and we performance manage people to deliver preconceived products and services.

It’s a brave organisation that recruits and develops social revolutionaries, people who will instinctively challenge the status quo, think laterally, refuse to accept time-honoured traditions and push for something new. For leaders who operate in a conventional management paradigm, it can feel threatening, confusing and chaotic. The risks can seem too high and too dangerous. I worked in one organisation where we recognised our culture had become too settled, too complacent, too safe. People often commented on its warm, supportive relational nature but it lacked its former edginess, struggled to deal with conflict and desperately needed to innovate. The challenge was how to introduce and sustain a shift without evoking defensiveness.

Social psychologists offer some valuable insights here, for instance in terms of social loafing and diffusion of responsibility where individuals are less likely to act independently or with the same degree of effort if they perceive themselves as part of a wider group where responsibility is shared. A challenge in this organisation was how to stimulate personal initiative and responsibility. Social conformity is another social psychological factor where people are likely to act consistently with the norms of a group if it provides them with a sense of acceptance and belonging within that group, or the approval of a perceived authority figure. A challenge in this organisation was how to ensure that personal initiative and responsibility were valued and affirmed.

We took a four pronged approach. Firstly, we worked with the leadership team with a skilled external consultant known for his outspoken, courageous, challenging style to develop a more robust leadership culture, capable of open and honest conversations without fear that this would undermine relationships. This enabled the top team to model a new cultural style. Secondly, we introduced a simple behavioural framework that positively affirmed personal leadership in terms including personal initiative, personal responsibility, creative thinking and innovative practice. This framework was embedded into the organisation’s recruitment and performance development to attract, develop and reward these qualities and capabilities.

Thirdly, we held an annual ceremony where staff were invited to nominate peers for awards where they had seen positive examples of such qualities demonstrated in practice. The peer aspect helped raise awareness and reinforce personal leadership as a cultural quality valued and affirmed by the organisation and to capture real stories that illustrated what it looked like in practice. Fourthly, we created a new innovation post, appointed an innovation enthusiast and allocated a new budget to stimulate and enable creative thinking and innovation across the organisation. This created a culture shift and a tangible symbol of the leaders’commitment to move in this direction. A willingness to question the status quo became a cultural value.

A corresponding challenge was how to engender a spirit of personal leadership that took the wider system and relationships into account. If individuals only operated independently and didn’t take account of or responsibility for the implications of their decisions and actions on others, relationships would become strained, the organisation would become chaotic and it wouldn’t achieve its goals. To address this issue, we introduced the notion of shared leadership alongside personal leadership, emphasising and affirming the value of collaborative working alongside independent initiative. This too was reflected in the annual staff award ceremony and in recruitment, development and rewards. It was a matter of creative balance.

As a tool for developing greater personal and shared leadership, I have found the following questions can be helpful: Who are my cultural role models? Who have I seen demonstrate great personal leadership? What can I learn from them? What would it take to contribute my best in this situation? What will I do to make sure it happens? In the past 12 months, where have I shown personal initiative? When have I held back from saying what I really thought or felt for fear of disapproval? What are the impacts of my actions on others? How far do I take responsibility to help others manage the implications of my decisions? How can I work collaboratively to achieve better win-win solutions? What difference do I want my life to make here?
69 Comments
Julie Bullen
30/3/2013 03:47:21 am

Sounds like a great intervention - what happened? Did things change?!

Reply
Nick Wright
30/3/2013 12:32:55 pm

Hi Julie. Yes, things definitely changed. The executive team described the impact on its own relationships and effectiveness as 'transformational'. People were encouraged and supported to act more independently, to speak up and to take greater initiative which also implied greater risk. Embedding this ethos explicitly in performance development conversations certainly helped, as did affirming exemplars in staff awards. The organisation now has a number of innovations in progress, developed by staff within the organisation who took part in innovation workshops. My sense is that it will be an on-going journey towards greater degrees of personal and shared leadership, but it's a good start. Does that answer the question? With best wishes. Nick

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Celena Collins link
30/3/2013 08:15:47 am

I really like the notion of shared leadership, how was this introduced? Was it simply a concept or awareness that was discussed, or were there certain tools used to implement it?

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Nick Wright
30/3/2013 12:44:59 pm

Hi Celena and thanks for the note. That's a good question. We approached shared leadership firstly through emphasising the notion of inter-dependence in the senior leadership and wider leadership teams. I wrote up some of how we approached this in a recent blog: http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2013/03/everybodys-weird.html. We encouraged honest conversations about (a) how it felt to be a leader in the organisation at the time, (b) what each person was willing to contribute to the wider team and shared leadership task and (c) what each person would need from others to feel and be successful. Outside of leadership meetings, we also challenged people when they acted in ways that created problems for others without acknowledging, owning or taking responsibility for resolving them. This helped counter the potentially selfish side of personal leadership, where people may act autonomously without due regard for the impacts on others. I hope that helps answer your question? With best wishes. Nick

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Bob Larcher
30/3/2013 12:13:30 pm

This is the kind of leadership that we need more of; people "standing up and being counted".

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Nick Wright
30/3/2013 01:05:44 pm

Hi Bob and thanks for the note. I think 'standing up and being counted' is a good way to put it. My previous boss used to describe it as 'being prepared to have skin in the game' or to 'hold one's own feet to the fire'. With best wishes. Nick

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James Scouller
30/3/2013 12:14:19 pm

What is it that makes certain individuals stand out from the crowd?

It is presence - leadership presence.

And Nick, I use the same term - personal leadership - to refer to the practice of working on yourself to grow your leadership presence, knowhow and skill.

Just to be clear though, presence isn't the same as charisma...

Reply
Nick Wright
30/3/2013 01:09:56 pm

Hi James and thanks for the note. I too find the impact of presence very profound. You may be interested in this recent blog on that same topic: http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2013/02/the-power-of-presence.html. With best wishes. Nick

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James Scouller
30/3/2013 11:58:13 pm

Thank you Nick, I like that post. In turn, you may like this post on presence: http://www.three-levels-of-leadership.com/blog/self-mastery-2/what-is-leadership-presence/07/04/2011/

Nick Wright
31/3/2013 12:03:42 am

Hi James and thanks for sharing the link. I thought your article on Presence was excellent. I'll post a link to it under my own blog too. I particularly liked your comment: 'presence is an inner psychospiritual state with an outer reflection.' I think you expressed that very profoundly. With best wishes. Nick

James Scouller
31/3/2013 06:03:08 am

Thank you Nick.

Terrence Seamon
30/3/2013 12:15:26 pm

Good topic, Nick. Thanks for sharing your thinking and the experience you described.

There was one point that raised concern for me:

"Firstly, we worked with the leadership team with a skilled external consultant known for his outspoken, courageous, challenging style to develop a more robust leadership culture, capable of open and honest conversations without fear that this would undermine relationships."

The point for concern? The skilled consultant known for his outspoken, courageous, challenging style.

Though it sounds like it all went well, I could imagine it going exactly in the opposite direction because of the consultant's style. I went through such an experience some years back. It was an organization-wide culture change. All of the leader-level people were going through a highly intensive 3-day process. Run by "outspoken, challenging" external consultants. It was a very negative experience.

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Nick Wright
30/3/2013 01:19:53 pm

Hi Terrence and thanks for the helpful challenge. I can certainly understand your concern. In this case, the consultant was known to the executive team and they chose to contract him because of his particular presence and style. In other words, they knew and trusted him and that made a significant positive difference.

I made a mistake when we introduced the same consultant to work with the wider leadership group. Things had worked so well with the executive team that I assumed this consultant's style would work well for the wider group too. It got a very mixed response which created difficulty for the consultant and for the group.

Unfortunately, I hadn't contracted with the wider group and, understandably, some members pushed back strongly. They weren't so concerned about his style per se but resented an external person challenging them so directly without having established relationship, credibility and trust first.

It was an important lesson for me, obvious in retrospect but not so obvious at the time. I wonder if similar issues and dynamics were present in the situation you described. What made it such a very negative experience for those involved? What could have been done differently? With best wishes. Nick

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Terrence Seamon
30/3/2013 11:57:07 pm

Nick,

My intent is not to challenge you. Rather, your story reminded me of one of my own.

Your point that "(the wider group) resented an external person challenging them so directly without having established relationship, credibility and trust first" is exactly what went wrong in the case I am thinking of.

In general, I have an approach to being the invited facilitator. The role is to be "the servant of the group," purposeful and knowledgeable but humble.

Nick Wright
31/3/2013 12:12:33 am

Hi Terrence and thanks for the note. I liked your emphasis on servanthood and humility, that sense of being invited. It sometimes feels like stepping onto holy ground. It reminded me of an amazing Christian leader I once invited to lead a seminar on strategic thinking for a group of aspiring leaders in a different organisation. He opened his welcome with a sincere, 'I am here to serve you'. With best wishes...and happy Easter! Nick

Terrence Seamon
31/3/2013 02:01:11 pm

Thanks, Nick. Same to you.

Fay Sicker
30/3/2013 12:16:04 pm

Love your work, Nick, and always enjoy reading your posts. Like other posts, this one has got me thinking. You describe "personal leadership" as being something that some do not really possess, but can acquire. I have been doing some work on "leadership branding" recently and wonder whether this is true? Do leaders not have "personal leadership", or is the personal leadership style they currently possess just ineffective?

Reply
Nick Wright
30/3/2013 01:33:24 pm

Hi Fay and thanks for such heartwarming feedback. You pose some interesting questions. I hadn't really thought about personal leadership as something to be possessed, but rather as an outlook and behaviour that can be developed. In other words, I can choose to exercise more personal leadership more of the time, e.g. by showing greater initiative or greater personal responsibility.

The relationship between personal leadership (which, in my view, applies to everyone) and formal leadership, or those in leadership positions, is an interesting one. I would expect such leaders to demonstrate personal leadership and to behave in such a way that encourages, nurtures and supports it in others. I'm not familiar with leadership branding...sounds fascinating...could you say more?

With thanks and best wishes. Nick

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Fay Sicker
31/3/2013 02:03:14 pm

Hi Nick, Totally agree with your differentiation between personal leadership and formal leadership and also agree with your comments that leadership represents a set of behaviours which people can develop.
Leadership branding is an extension of the concept of personal branding and what this means within the leadership space. Refer the following article from Forbes magazine, written last year..... http://www.forbes.com/sites/dailymuse/2012/02/14/the-first-step-to-building-your-personal-brand/ .
By the way, thanks for sharing the case study in your last post! Great example of how to change the leadership culture within an organisation.

Nick Wright
31/3/2013 02:19:42 pm

Hi Fay and thanks for sharing the link. When I first opened the article, I wasn't sure what to make of it. Perhaps it was a concern about being authentic, not simply projecting an image that others would find attractive. Having said that, I found the questions it posed helpful: How do I make people feel? How do people benefit by working with me? What words to others use to describe me? What field or industry am I in? What words would I use to describe my work? Who is my target audience? What service do I offer people? What do I do that makes me stand out from everyone else? Great questions to consider when writing a CV, creating a social profile, applying for a job, setting up a business etc. With thanks and best wishes. Nick

Fay Sicker
31/3/2013 02:53:23 pm

I agree about your concern that leaders need to be authentic, rather than simply project a brand. Whether they realise it or not, leaders already have a brand - generated within the minds of the people they lead! In other words, those they lead often pay close attention to what the leader does. They know how the leader makes them feel and they know how the leader is different to others. If asked, they would already have a way to describe them. A leader may find it difficult to be genuine if they don't understand what their brand currently looks like. Of course it might not be the one they want. But if they want to change it, they first need to understand what it is!

Nick Wright
31/3/2013 02:56:56 pm

Hi Fay. Yes, your comment reminded me of something my previous boss used to say: 'We are always influencing, but not always in the way we would hope for...' With best wishes. Nick

Fay Sicker
31/3/2013 03:50:05 pm

Love it! Might use that phrase myself!

Rowena Wild
31/3/2013 06:03:53 am

I hve recently qualified as an executive coach at The Acadamy of Executive Coaching. John Learhy Joyce talks about Signature presence and its importance. This is about gaining an understanding of who we are , what we bring to the table and having a self awareness and responsibility of our presence at all times. I beleive this is a good platform to consider the development of personal leadership from. Very often individuals do not want to move forward into leadership as they are concerned about the consequences - failure, fear, critical appraisal and so on. Perhaps those individuals that are more willing to break the mould are less concerned ..or more able to manage some of their own perceived consequences?

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Nick Wright
31/3/2013 06:52:46 am

Hi Rowena and thanks for the comments. I agree there is a relationship between presence and leadership. I think you raise an excellent point about what holds people back from exercising leadership and how some appear less concerned or more able to deal with the perceived consequences.

Perhaps personal leadership, an ability to see and step outside of the norm, is a decision based on personality type, outlook, conviction, culture or confidence that enables the person to overcome personal and group reservations or intertia - and to act. What do you think? With best wishes and happy Easter! Nick

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Rowena Wild
31/3/2013 02:02:15 pm

Yes.. and also based on values, needs and wants, past experiences , culture and motivation. All of these are large areas for discussion and exploration !

A Happy Easter to you too!

David Kay
31/3/2013 06:04:55 am

Nick

Thanks for sharing and interesting debate. What is on my mind is there a difference between leadership and personal leadership. To me the are the same. Interested in others thoughts.

David
Dad &Taxi Driver

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Nick Wright
31/3/2013 06:43:58 am

Hi David. You raise an interesting question. For me, personal leadership is concerned primarily with how I conduct myself. Perhaps wider leadership is primarily concerned with how I influence others. What do you think? With best wishes and Happy Easter! Nick

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Alison Moody
1/4/2013 01:53:41 pm

Hi All, Yes I think in essence David you are right. However, I would say that personal leadership i.e. ideally having a clear set of standards for yourself which act as an internal compass is probably required before leadership of others.

Steven C Beeley
31/3/2013 02:45:27 pm

Authenticity, sincerity and integrity may have, IMHO, strong predictive capabilities. Just a hunch. Best, Steve

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Nick Wright
31/3/2013 02:51:03 pm

Hi Steve and thanks for the note. Are you saying that people who have and display authenticity, sincerity and integrity are more likely to exercise personal leadership? I think that's an interesting angle. With best wishes. Nick

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Steve C Beeley
31/3/2013 03:02:38 pm

Yup, I guess that's exactly what I am saying, Nick. They tend to be comfortable in their own skin, well adjusted, and carry less baggage from their past. Their futures, and that of their colleagues, are unadulterated by their past, increasing the possibility for transformational performance. They are, to coin a phrase, "in flow". Best, Steve

Sally Moore
3/4/2013 11:31:01 am

Steven, I respectfully disagree with you about less baggage or people being unadulterated by their past. I can only assume you mean in a negative way?
Significant life experiences are enormously influential in how people shape their lives and lead themselves. Obviously this can take various forms but those "battle scars" shape how you engage with the world and other people. They "build character"as some would say. There are many stories of success in the face of adversity, poverty etc. In many instances, it can be the very reason for and the key driver for personal leadership/ success - whatever that means.
Fate is what happens, destiny is what you do with it - survivor or victim?

Mary Duddy
1/4/2013 12:33:34 am

i have never been in a leadership position, therefore I am very interested in this topic. I particularly like the idea of shared leadership. It sounds like a difficult thing to do, perhaps because I come from an authouritarian background. I look forward to the comments. Thank you Nick for starting this.

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Nick Wright
1/4/2013 12:46:01 am

Hi Mary and thanks for the note. One way to think about personal leadership is of 'acts of leadership', that is, things we say and do that demonstrate a leadership spirit and approach, e.g. taking the initiative, role modelling ways of behaving that inspire others etc. This can be true for us, and something we can decide to do, irrespective of whether we are in a formal leadership position. Does that make sense?

I was interested to hear your comment about an authoritarian background...would you be happy to say more about it? In my experience, shared leadership, like any form of effective teamwork, takes courage and humility. Courage to step up and take the lead in one moment and humility to look for and support others' leadership in another. A willingness and commitment to share the opportunities and challenges and to share the burdens and rewards.

I would be very interested to hear if you have further thoughts on this. With best wishes. Nick

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Mary Duddy
1/4/2013 01:43:39 pm

HI Nick, no i have no problem talking about my upbringing/background. I grew up in a rigid, restricted very religious family. there was no discussion, only rules, many were covert. I don't remember positive reinforcement, just punishment, usually the strap or sent away from the rest of the family. Failure was expected, achievement not acknowledged, but also expected. My father worked very hard and became wealthy. i am not sure what i did "wrong" but i was disinherited by him and two of my three siblings refused to share. i felt and still feel abandoned. i have received counselling and have done a great deal of personal work.
you said that personal leadership is of 'acts of leadership', then i would say that i have had experience in personal leadership. i do however give way if i feel someone pressuring or indicating that they would do a better job. i realize that this is my perception, it may not be the reality.
i am embarking on a new venture and i shall carry this with me. it will be an amazing learning experience for me and i can now take my personal leadership skills of role modelling and inspiring.

Nick Wright
1/4/2013 01:50:48 pm

Hi Mary and thanks for sharing such an honest account of your family situation. It sounds very sad and painful. What I noticed in your final paragraph, however, is that you are not allowing such past experiences, no matter how painful, to control and constrain you. You are embarking on a new venture and this is, in my view, a good example of exercising personal leadership. I hope you will share more with us as your story unfolds. With best wishes. Nick

Trine Moore
1/4/2013 06:09:28 am

re resistence.. and resisting, requires strength of purpose, ie determination and flexiblity too to adapt to the changing circumstances and especially to recognise the emergent characteristics which we call change. ... "and The future is a thing of the past. In his new book, Present Shock: When Everything Happens Now, award winning author and media analyst, Douglas Rushkoff, introduces the theory of "presentism," the new ethos of a society that's always on, in real time, updating live.

,,,,,mash-up of the immediate moment. .... How do we keep up this fragmentation of our psyches? "

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Nick Wright
1/4/2013 01:30:52 pm

Hi Trine and thanks for such interesting comments. I haven't heard of the book you mention before but I do like the idea of 'presentism'. I will check it out as it sounds fascinating and very topical. With best wishes. Nick

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David Gibbons
1/4/2013 06:10:35 am

I am very interested in this topic as I have wondered for quite a long period of time what early experiences create the development of a leader. I thing you have highlighted a possible area of research.
I have been in Management (leader position) since the age of 21 years, Initially I encountered resentment from older members of staff that thought the position should have been their's. This resentment didn't other me. And in social settings I generally find that people ask my opinion or ask me to help arrange events etc.
As a child I was the family scapegoat - acted accordingly and rebelled at the unjust treatment I received, I soon realised from a relatively young age I had to rely, and stand-up for myself. I would be interested in comparing early development experience to compare present leaders / managers.

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Nick Wright
1/4/2013 01:40:47 pm

Hi David and thanks for introducing such a thought-provoking dimension to this discussion. I was interested to hear how your early experiences, including in the family environment, evoked a response that has influenced your ability to exercise leadership. It sounds like you took the decision at an early stage to act independently of how others treated you and thereby developed a kind of personal resilience.

I have a close friend who I find incredibly inspiring as a leader and he too had a rough time as a child, including at school. He too made a decision, I guess a repeated day-to-day, moment-by-moment decision, to act with personal vision and integrity in spite of what others projected onto him. It's as if there could be correlation between certain kinds of experience and how some individuals have chosen to respond to it.

I would be very interested to hear if you or others have any further thoughts on this. With best wishes. Nick

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Anne Hamilton
2/4/2013 02:19:39 am

Have a look at Deepack Chopras' notes on leadership
You can't get better than that

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Nick Wright
2/4/2013 02:21:48 am

Hi Anne and thanks for the note. What is it that has struck you most about Deepack's notes on leadership? Also, Deepack is such a prolific writer...did you have a particular book in mind? With thanks and best wishes. Nick

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Anne Hamilton
2/4/2013 02:25:59 pm

Deepak Chopra MD (official)
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The Conscious Lifestyle: Can a Leader Make His Own Luck?
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Pierre El-Hnoud
2/4/2013 02:27:29 pm

It would be interesting to take under consideration factors that are external to the organization; yet, they impact people’s behaviours directly at the work place.

I.e. someone who cannot afford to lose his or her job, consequently they seek more conformity and acceptance within the group. Would they be able to exhibit leadership and take more initiatives? If so, how can this be done.

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Nick Wright
2/4/2013 02:38:07 pm

Hi Pierre and thanks for posing such an interesting question. I've certainly worked with people from situations where taking personal initiative has been discouraged or frowned upon, sometimes because it would be politically dangerous and sometimes because of cultural norms and expectations such as deference to authority.

The factors you mentioned that could lead to increased conformity or compliance are quite complex. In some situations, a compliant response could lead to increased job security. In others, if personal leadership qualities are valued culturally, a shift towards greater conformity could prove inadvertently detrimental career-wise.

I would be interested to hear from you or others about how you or they have managed to find ways to exercise personal leadership in situations where it could prove risky or be considered culturally inappropriate. I would also be interested to hear about alternative forms of leadership that work well in such environments.

With thanks and best wishes. Nick

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Sonya Withrow
2/4/2013 02:41:27 pm

I believe it is the power of right thinking. Being able to tell yourself to keep quiet and listen.

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Nick Wright
2/4/2013 02:43:13 pm

Hi Sonya. Learning to keep quiet and listen can certainly be a powerful yet subtle way of being present and exerting influence. With best wishes. Nick

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Sonya Withrow
2/4/2013 03:02:06 pm

I have always been one to "rock the boat" I always will be but learning how to keep it from tipping over is the key. Thinking, Listening and Talking to yourself.... What do you believe is the difference?

Nick Wright
2/4/2013 03:05:05 pm

Hi Sonya and thanks for the note. Rocking the boat yet not tipping it over sounds like a word of wisdom to me. :) I liked your mind-bending question...what do you believe the difference is? With best wishes. Nick

Sonya Withrow
3/4/2013 01:17:12 am

When you talk to yourself you need to be sure that what you are saying is good information, then you need actively listen to what you are saying. If you are thinking about it, make sure it is good thinking, or you should turn off the thinking and listen to someone else.

Nick Wright
3/4/2013 01:18:48 am

Hi Sonya. I like! :) Nick

Kagiso Chirwa
2/4/2013 02:44:59 pm

Hi guys, well interestig topic, as i feel this is one of my greatest weeaknesses. My childhood was similar to that of Mary and how I cope was to hide, just didnt want to be seen. and now i need to be heard and seen in the position that i am, and it has proven to be very challenging.
I think the major fear is making a mistake, or being anything less than perfect, cos where i come from its not acceptable. I fear even trying cos i want a guarantee that it will be perfect. which has led me to not doing a lot of things in my life.
im seeking all ways possible to unlearn the habit as its holding me captive.

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Nick Wright
2/4/2013 02:57:39 pm

Hi Kagiso and thanks for sharing so honestly and courageously about some of the struggles you have encountered and are working through currently. I can certainly empathise with your fear of failure and how that can hold you back at times.

I had some coaching from a skilful professional with expertise in cognitive behavioural coaching and human givens therapy. It certainly helped, although it's still a struggle at times for me too. I also read a book that helped called 'How to Master Anxiety' by Joe Griffin & Ivan Tyrrell - have you come across it?

I had a very different background to Mary in terms of religious experience. I became a Christian at 21 from a non-religious background and my faith has given me more courage than I had known previously. I hope you will find people and ways that bring you the freedom and release you hope for.

With best wishes. Nick

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Kagiso Chirwa
3/4/2013 07:18:44 am

Thanks Nick! will surely look out for that book.
Christianity has indeed helped, truth of the matter is that there's also a healing process i need to undergo to actually break from the bondage, which i know will revoke all the pain as if the event happened yesterday. A lot of what i believed, and still do about myself is what i always heard which was not always the best of words, so i actually need a brain wash so to speak.
Work in progress...

Stella Goddard BA (hons) Counselling
3/4/2013 07:11:04 am

This is thought provoking. I wonder if there is something about our value system and our sense of worth within that affects our decision making. We often talk about negative peer pressure. Who do we look to for positive role models and what qualities do they have?

Reply
Nick Wright
3/4/2013 07:16:43 am

Hi Stella and thanks for the note. I think you make important points. I'm sure that our value system and perceived sense of worth within it, combined with the influences of wider team, organisational or cultural value systems, affect our decision making and, perhaps, our willingness to exercise greater personal leadership.

I agree that focusing on the example of positive role models and emulating their qualities can be helpful. I used to have a photo of a good friend on my desk who represents a very positive role model for me. When I faced situations at work that felt perplexing or anxiety-provoking, I would ask myself, 'what would he say and do in this situation?', then do it.

With best wishes. Nick

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Stella Goddard BA (hons) Counselling
3/4/2013 10:06:27 am

Thank you for your thoughts Nick. In my work as a Counsellor we often look at how early childhood relationships and experiences may have distorted clients self worth. In listening to and hearing the narrative clients are able to begin to make the links between past and present. It takes time to grieve the pain. As the healing begins clients are gradually empowered to make life enhancing choices and fulfill their potential.

Nick Wright
3/4/2013 10:10:29 am

Hi Stella and thanks for the note. Yes, I believe this is the kind of situation where counselling can be very empowering and releasing for a client. As I read your note, I wondered if you might find this reflection interesting, drawing on insights from transactional analysis? http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2011/12/whats-your-story.html. I would be very interested to hear what you think. With best wishes. Nick

Stella Goddard BA (hons) Counselling
4/4/2013 10:10:09 am

Thank you Nick for encouraging more reflection. Found your post and the comments of others really inspiring. I too am a Christian and am very interested in what gives people's lives meaning and purpose. I believe that we all have deep longings for security, significance and self-worth - we get these needs met in different in places but inevitably relationships will be part of this. How do we see ourselves? And how do we see ourselves in relation to others and the world? How is our story constructed? Who are we? the victim? 'not good enough' or a person of great intrinsic worth who has a responsibility to live with integrity towards oneself and others. I guess in some measure this is about taking the lead role in one's own story rather than being constrained by the scripts that we have internalised from significant others in the past that have limited our ability to grow and develop and be all that we can be. Will we be willing to try something new even though it might be hard and we might not do it perfectly? I wonder what others think?

Nick Wright
4/4/2013 10:19:46 am

Hi Stella and thanks for sharing further reflections. I liked the questions you framed. They reminded me of some thoughts I jotted down in this blog on existential coaching, some of which you may find interesting: http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2013/02/existential-coaching.html. I also really liked your comment that, 'this is about taking the lead role in one's own story rather than being constrained by the scripts that we have internalised from significant others in the past'. Thank you for the encouragement and hope in the final question you posed: 'will we be willing to try something new..?' With best wishes. Nick

Allison Spargo
3/4/2013 11:22:09 am

Hi Nick & co. Each "leader" is an individual, in their own right, with each person coming to the game with different capabilities, experiences, and "baggage" - both good and bad which directly impacts on their behaviour, as does their own values and beliefs? With regards to experience, in Personal Leadership terms, it is surely not solely about the type of experiences encountered during growth to leader (with the resultant baggage), both personal & professional, but how people deal with those experiences and the learnings taken away from them; again, good and bad; How they use that knowledge in their role as leader. It may be a good leader who knows when to bow to peer pressure and yet also knows when to stand his/her ground, based upon previous experience, or simple gut instinct. My favourite question with clients is "What's the worst that can happen?" Is this a calculated risk or a desire to dynamically combust ... There will always be consequences to actions ... What is their ultimate goal?
Other vital personal leadership qualities include influence and EI which I believe are essential and which should be considered ...
Another old, yet interesting question would be "Are you a born leader or do you grow to become a leader?"

Reply
Nick Wright
3/4/2013 11:27:28 am

Hi Allison and thanks for your comments. I agree with you that our sense of self and willingess or ability to exercise leadership is influenced not only by our experiences but how we have responded to them. What influences how we respond to our experiences is a far wider question! I guess I think about personal leadership less as fulfilling a leadership role and more about doing everyday acts of leadership, e.g. being proactive, taking personal responsibility etc, irrespective of what role we may hold. I agree that influence and EI are important qualities in leadership, especially for those fulfilling leadership roles. With best wishes. Nick

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Joan Johnson
4/4/2013 12:58:08 am

Like you, Nick, I think of personal leadership as how we choose to lead our own lives regardless of what position we may hold. To me it's about making carefully considered choices, based on deeply internalised values. EI and SI certainly expand one's ability to do this consciously and with discernment. I've been privileged to train and coach in this area for 10 years. I tell students of my 20-week coaching program that if they seriously try to incorporate the course material into their lives, it will realistically take at least 2 years. That is to say, developing personal leadership is a long-term, and even lifelong, effort.

I've found Stephen Covey's "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" to be an enduringly valid articulation of the basics required for personal leadership. And of course, all the newer stuff coming from neuroscience, positive psychology, and meditation practice - all of this is consistent with and supports an individual's ability to make high quality, proactive choices. It's great fun to introduce people to the concept that 'leadership' is everyone's prerogative and responsibility. And it's great fun to practice this myself - there's always new challenges and more to learn.

Reply
Nick Wright
4/4/2013 01:16:20 am

Hi Joan and thanks for sharing such helpful thoughts on this topic. I really liked your summary statement: 'It's about making carefully considered choices, based on deeply internalised values.' I found your connections with EI and SI interesting too.

That's certainly been true for me as my personal journey in developing personal leadership has been very much influenced by my Christian beliefs and faith. I was struck by Jesus' counter cultural outlook and approach and it really inspired me.

Steven Covey's 7 Habits is a great book for this topic, and he even describes Habit 2 as 'principles of personal leadership'. The opening activity he uses in that chapter, imagining end of life, reflects a meditation by St Ignatius in 'Spiritual Exercises'.

I like your attitude and approach to seeking to develop personal leadership yourself whilst challenging and supporting others to develop it too, and to introduce it with sense of fun so that it sounds and feels liberating. With thanks and best wishes. Nick

Reply
Joan Johnson
5/4/2013 01:23:18 am

Thanks, Nick ... your comment about a counter-cultural approach struck me ... I'm reading a bit about Integral Theory at the moment, and practicing with a community that uses an integral approach. I wonder if the deeper you go with personal development, the more counter cultural it becomes. To link it to Covey's proactive model - the more self-aware and connected to consequences we become, the more we are able to see through our cultural and societal miasma, and therefore the more able we are to make clear choices that are not strictly dictated by our culture.

; ) I'll have to go back and look at the activity in Chapter 2 now! Thanks again ... enjoy your day!

Nick Wright
5/4/2013 01:28:05 am

Hi Joan and thanks for the note. I haven't heard of Integral Theory but I would be very interested to hear more about it. Could you say something about its core ideas and what it looks like practising it in the community you mention? Sounds fascinating!

I think the relationship between personal leadership and culture is an interesting and complex one. Are you familiar with Kenneth Gergen's or Vivien Burr's writings on social constructionism? It's a field of study and practice I find absolutely intriguing.

Here's an example of a blog I wrote, trying to express some of its core ideas: http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2011/02/social-constructionism-applied.html. Let me know if it resonates with your own ideas about leadership and culture?

With best wishes...and have a good day too! :) Nick

Christine Anderson
5/4/2013 01:29:50 am

Nick, thanks for leading this discussion with so much compassion and kindness. It has certainly touched some individuals in a personal way, and gives us all cause to think deeply about ourselves and our personal attributes. Personality is something that absolutely fascinates me - it's what sets us each apart as individuals. Although we can recognize the role personality plays is events, science as of yet has a difficult time predicting personality formation. Some folks are just born initiators, and as Dave mentioned, this may be recognized even in early childhood behavior. I believe we must keep in mind that personality does not set in stone a rigid road from which no detour can be made. People can and do change during the course of their lives; individuals who may not seem like leaders early in life may find a passion or a direction later in life and run with it. The motivation to be a voice representing a specific concern may be strong enough to compel an individual to move past obstacles - including personality or learned behaviors - to accomplish goals. The question you pose as the opening of this discussion is one that I could explore at length: "What is it that makes some individuals stand out from the crowd?" Can we isolate that quality or factor that distinguishes one person from another? Is there a single factor? If so, can it be manipulated or controlled? Are some of us just destined through biology to be movers and shakers, or could it be that like caterpillars that turn to butterflies, God grooms us over time then places us in the right place and moment to accomplish something that He knew we would do all along, but may surprise those who knew us since we were young. I appreciate all the thoughtful and personal contributions from the respective authors - it's been a great discussion to follow.

Reply
Nick Wright
5/4/2013 01:36:59 am

Hi Christine and thank you for sharing such wise and encouraging reflections on this topic. I loved your comments that, 'People can and do change during the course of their lives; individuals who may not seem like leaders early in life may find a passion or a direction later in life and run with it. The motivation to be a voice representing a specific concern may be strong enough to compel an individual to move past obstacles - including personality or learned behaviors - to accomplish goals.' and, 'Are some of us just destined through biology to be movers and shakers, or could it be that like caterpillars that turn to butterflies, God grooms us over time then places us in the right place and moment to accomplish something that He knew we would do all along, but may surprise those who knew us since we were young.' I found those reflections profound and inspiring! With thanks again and for adding such richness to this conversation. With best wishes. Nick

Reply



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    ​Nick Wright

    ​I'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? ​Get in touch!

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