Two years ago, I came off a mountain bike – badly(!) - during a UK Sport Relief charity ride. I demonstrated perfectly how not to fall, how not to land and, as a consequence, snapped my left leg sideways at the knee and ruptured two ligaments. During the next twelve months of leg splints, crutches and intensive physiotherapy, specialists told me I would never be able to walk up and down stairs again, never be able to swim again, never be able to ride off road again.
It was a shocking, painful and numbing experience. I kept playing over in my mind what had happened, what I could have done differently, what this could all mean for my life, how it could impact on my family and work. I felt angry with myself for making such a simple, stupid mistake, frustrated that I could no longer do activities I loved. And I realised I faced a choice. I could give in to the experience, accept my ‘fate’, or take what action I could to re-shape the future. Two years on, after months of (at times) agonising physio, dragging myself up stairs by hand rails etc, I managed to reach the top of a mountain without leg splints. Two years on, having learned to use a pull buoy float and hand paddles, I managed to swim 80 lengths with arms only. Two years on, with leg braced and lots of deep breaths, I managed to complete a 22 mile off road bike challenge. It has shed revealing light onto my attitude to risk. A reminder to hold onto hope. I thank God, family, friends, colleagues, professionals, neighbours - and even total strangers - who have supported me. It has influenced my thinking as a leader, coach and OD practitioner: how to support, challenge and increase the resource-fullness of people, teams and organisations. It has strengthened my conviction that we and others are often capable of far more than we know or believe. It has reinforced my faith that God stands with us in the midst of trials.
12 Comments
Stella Goddard BA (Hons) Registered MBACP (Accred)
23/4/2016 01:31:59 pm
Nick - what a powerful, moving and honest account. I say 'yes' to everything that you have shared. Victory through your struggle. What an incredible witness and encouragement to us all as we try to navigate life.
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Nick Wright
23/4/2016 01:36:12 pm
Thanks for such kind and encouraging words, Stella. To be honest, it has been an up-and-down struggle and yet has given me a glimpse into what life can be and feel like for people who face far worse challenges. I've also been humbled and moved by strangers and people I hardly know providing moments of compassion and practical support. Warm good wishes to you. Nick
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Stella Goddard BA (Hons) Registered MBACP (Accred)
23/4/2016 03:46:30 pm
Thank you Nick. Indeed pain hurts and when we fall we sometimes can't imagine how we are ever going to get up again, never mind walk in the way that we did before we got injured. I suspect that our walk, literal or metaphorical, will be different but if we go gently, accept the help that is offered to us, in time we will find a way forward. I have also experienced the compassion of strangers as well as those close to me. Sometimes our wounds are internal. When they are new they really sting, just like external wounds. In time they become scars and we are not as we were. Some hurts don't away - we try and manage them as best as we can. I do think that as Counsellors and Coaches we are in a good position to help others when we have truly faced (or are facing) our own struggles.
Nick Wright
23/4/2016 03:52:42 pm
Hi Stella. Thanks for these further reflections. Yes, I think you are right about internal wounds: 'scars...not as we were...some don't go away'. That has certainly been true in my experience. I believe this means that as counsellors and coaches, we need (a) to be hopeful yet realistic in our expectations and (b) to draw on supervision to avoid being unhelpfully 'triggered' by clients' situations and experiences. With many thanks again. Nick
Suman Singh
23/4/2016 01:37:05 pm
A powerful coach will be the one who has empathy factor grown through his/her own experiences.
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Nick Wright
23/4/2016 01:40:16 pm
Thanks Suman. In my experience, empathy in coaching can be a gift and a challenge! Here are some related reflections: http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/rescue and http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/just-enough All the best. Nick
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Suman Singh
23/4/2016 03:45:07 pm
I totally agree with you when you say that it both. A coach will not let it be limitation if he doesn't get affected and remains neutral having felt the empathizing emotions. It is guarding and limiting oneself of getting attached to the coachee and at the same time relating to him as well.
Nick Wright
23/4/2016 03:55:36 pm
Yes, Suman - I agree it's something about reaching out to establish genuine contact with the client whilst, at the same time, holding appropriate psychological and contractual boundaries to avoid confluence or creating unhelpful attachments. All the best. Nick
Mark Pybus
24/4/2016 12:17:21 am
Nick, not only are we able to do more than we believe, but, God is able to do immeasurably than we can think or imagine. When we put our faith and trust in him it is no wonder that the results are amazing, they are his results. I supposedly have knees that need replacing, however although I used to take huge qty's of tramadol; Through him I am now pain free and have not taken pain killers for my knees in over 3 years. Keep with the faith and keep improving. God bless you and Christ be with you.
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Nick Wright
24/4/2016 12:22:16 am
Thanks Mark - and for sharing such an amazing account of recovery. I saw a poster this week that said, simply, 'Everything I have, I owe to God'. That is true for me too. I honestly believe that anything I'm able to be or do is, in some (often mysterious) way, a result of God's gracious work in my life. Christ be with you too. Nick
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Helen Walker
24/4/2016 10:45:02 am
Great post - Like it.
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Nick Wright
24/4/2016 10:45:27 am
Thanks Helen. All the best. Nick
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Nick WrightI'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? Get in touch! Like what you read? Simply enter your email address below to receive regular blog updates!
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