A ‘check engine’ warning light flashed up on my car dashboard this week. It turned out to be a false alarm – a warning that was, apparently, triggered by jump start last week. I know that now. The unnerving part was the not-knowing in-between. What is there was something seriously wrong? How am I to know if a warning symbol can be ignored or if it’s highlighting a genuine cause for concern? In this case, I was able to take the car to a local mechanic to have it checked out. When, however, we experience ‘warning lights’ psychologically or emotionally, it can be harder to discern. A manager is invited to present to an Executive Team and feels deeply anxious. Is that a false alarm or, perhaps, an intuition that is flagging up what ought to be considered a genuine risk? A team member is asked to give critical feedback to a colleague in another department and feels worried about how they may react. Are they being over-sensitive or should they be concerned? Here are some insights to help when making a judgement call. 1. Has the person experienced similar situations and associated emotions in the past? If so, their past may be re-triggering feelings in the present. 2. Does the person have any tangible evidence that supports their concerns? They may be making hypotheses or assumptions. 3. Would different others be likely to feel the same if faced with a similar situation? It may be a personal or cultural narrative the person is telling themself. A tricky part is that it’s not always an either-or phenomenon. The anxious manager may have experienced something similar in the past and the Executive Team may be demanding unrealistic levels of performance. The team member may be highly-sensitive and their colleague may react defensively. How do you distinguish between a false alarm and something that’s real? Do you trust your your feelings or intuition most, or lean more towards evidence or reason – or something else?
24 Comments
Michael Parise, MDiv, MA, CSD
9/12/2021 06:18:44 pm
Excellent article Nick! It’s that fight-freeze-flee response in yet another form. And when there may not be anyone trustworthy or knowledgeable to consult immediately what does one do? I try to recall similar experiences from the past as a starting point to offer me some degree of familiarity to the present situation. That’s my starting point to calm me. Yet I must admit that if it’s an entirely new experience, I do feel the panic rising and my rational brain shutting down. I look forward to responses here!
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Nick Wright
9/12/2021 08:40:32 pm
Thank you, Michael - and for such an honest response! Yes, one of the activities I use in change leadership and resilience workshops is to invite participants to tell stories to one-another of situations in the past that felt very difficult at the time, yet worked out well in the end. Even if the new situation itself is very different, it enables them to connect with feelings from the past that resonate in the present, and to create a greater sense of calmness, confidence and hope.
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Michael Parise, MDiv, MA, CSD
9/12/2021 09:17:48 pm
Nick, excellent approach. Nice hearing from another empath!
Nick Wright
9/12/2021 09:23:24 pm
Thanks Michael. I'm not sure how naturally empathetic I am. As a follower of Jesus, I try to tune in deeply to people's lived experiences in order to offer love and hope. In other words, I think it's a good and right thing to do. As one of my team colleagues posted on the back of my chair after a Myers Briggs Type Indicator workshop, "I think, therefore I feel." :)
John (Norval) Settle
9/12/2021 06:19:31 pm
This gets into the realm of limits on reason and the effect of "cognitive biases" of which there are many (including confirmation bias, sunk-costs bias, implicit bias, egocentric bias, affinity/stereotype bias, etc). Some of these are of long-standing origin, "designed" by nature as survival devices -- but also able to affect our reason and skew how we interpret "evidence"!
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Nick Wright
9/12/2021 08:49:35 pm
Hi John. Yes, on cognitive biases, this short related piece may be of interest? Art of deception: https://www.nick-wright.com/art-of-deception.html
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Elena Perella
9/12/2021 06:20:19 pm
Intuition most.
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Nick Wright
9/12/2021 08:33:04 pm
Hi Elena. You reminded me of some research by Eugene Sadler-Smith. He found that leaders often make critical decisions intuitively, then post-rationalise them to justify the decision if working in cultures dominated by 'rationality'.
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Elena Perella
11/12/2021 09:00:19 am
Nick, interesting research.
Fabiana Pérez
9/12/2021 08:34:12 pm
I agree Elena, intuition is the most important thing, specially when you know yourself, when you are connected with your inner self.
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Nick Wright
9/12/2021 08:55:16 pm
Hi Fabiana. I'm not sure - and I'm curious. If intuition is something like tacit knowledge, based on a subconsciously-distilled lifetime of experience, is it possible that our 'intuition' could at times be mistaken just as our 'reasoning' could be too? Perhaps we need a balance of intuition and reason - each sense-checking the other? What do you think?
Nick Wright
11/12/2021 09:05:10 am
Thanks Elena. I really liked your comment: 'Problems arise when there are feelings that interfere with our intuition.' It's a tricky one. Intuition is, in a sense, a 'felt experience' - yet not necessarily an emotional experience. How to discern the difference..?
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Elena Perella
11/12/2021 06:22:55 pm
Thank you for sharing your article, Nick. I understand your point of view. Great discussion, btw.
Nick Wright
11/12/2021 09:25:11 pm
Thanks Elena. Wow - so much food for thought! The illustration you shared of turning right on the road, and thereby avoiding an accident that happened later on the road to the left, sounds more to me like a kind of 'spiritual' discernment, rather than intuition per se? Interesting.
Elena Perella
13/12/2021 10:28:07 am
You're welcome, Nick!
Nick Wright
13/12/2021 10:33:17 am
Hi Elena. I see intuition as, essentially, tacit (subconscious) knowledge, based on a lifetime of experience. It often surfaces, and is experienced, physically rather than rationally - e.g. a 'hunch' or 'gut feeling'.
Ella Hydes
9/12/2021 08:58:59 pm
False alarms exist in many different areas. If it's about my health or technology, I should have everything clarified. But at work, if I don't feel good in the morning, if I have doubts about my preparation or if I don't feel like going to work, then I shouldn't let these "false alarm feelings" win, but try to make the most of the day or the meeting .
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Nick Wright
9/12/2021 09:11:26 pm
Hi Ella. It sounds like you are differentiating between those things that can be fact-checked, or perhaps known empirically with certainty, and those psychological experiences that are necessarily more subjective in nature.
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E.G. (Ervin) Sebastian - CPC, CSL
10/12/2021 10:10:18 pm
That's a tough one, Nick. You know I'm a ninja and I stay calm in the hottest situations... but that also means when there are gun shuts around me (which happened in the past, except it turned out they were not gun shuts); while others will duck and panic, I'll stand calm... which also means I could be shot... later I think, "Dang! I should have ducked" 🦁
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Nick Wright
10/12/2021 10:18:07 pm
Hi E.G. I always find your insights and experiences so profound, entertaining and intriguing! I love that your comment, 'Yes, there's a chance that intuition guides me, but I do not know that...I just do.'
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E.G. (Ervin) Sebastian - CPC, CSL
11/12/2021 09:06:42 am
Nick, LOVE IT! (Jasmin's response)
Nick Wright
11/12/2021 09:11:26 am
Thanks E.G. I love the way in which you are able to share from personal experience in such an inspiring and energising way! Quick question - is HDHD the same, or similar, to what is known as ADHD in the UK, or something different altogether?
E.G. (Ervin) Sebastian - CPC, CSL
11/12/2021 09:29:45 pm
Nick, ehmmm... it is ADHD 🐒
Nick Wright
11/12/2021 09:30:59 pm
Hi E.G. OK - that makes sense! :) Leave a Reply. |
Nick WrightI'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? Get in touch! Like what you read? Simply enter your email address below to receive regular blog updates!
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