Framed

24/10/2019

Like it or not, you’ve been framed. You’ve framed others too. Not just some-one. Everyone you’ve ever met or imagined. Think: male, female, black, white, tall, short, extrovert, introvert, manager, staff, marketing, operations, rich, poor, educated, uneducated, leave, remain. Whatever category we apply to ourselves, or to others, creates an experience, an awareness, of same-as or different-to.

‘I’m a white, male, Christian from the North East of England. I like riding motorbikes.’ Notice what those descriptors evoke for you. Reflect on which draw you towards me and which push you away from me. Have those words created a sense of greater affinity with me or do they now make me feel more alien to you? How are they the same or different to the labels that you apply to yourself?

Why does this matter? Well, the categories, the frames of reference, we use are always selective and simplifications of a wider reality and, thereby, reductionist. They draw our attention to certain attributes and cause us to not-notice others. They carry personal-cultural value judgements and trigger emotional responses that influence, often reinforce, our beliefs, attitudes and behaviour.

So - what happens if we switch frames, re-frame? What then becomes possible?

How can I help you reframe your reality and relationships? Get in touch! [email protected]

54 Comments

Emma Setterfield

24/10/2019 05:52:42 pm

A very thought provoking post. I think it helped that I used to live in the North East of England and I can ride a motorbike. Actually thinking of getting another one at the moment.

Nick Wright

24/10/2019 05:54:36 pm

Thanks Emma. It sounds like the mention of the words North East and motorcycles created a sense of affinity!

Luigi Gerardi

24/10/2019 05:56:40 pm

Great. Beyond Gestalt images!

24/10/2019 05:58:00 pm

Thanks Luigi. Perhaps a different Gestalt image to the ones we ordinarily see in Gestalt textbooks?

Rhondre Giscombe

24/10/2019 06:00:25 pm

The ability to view someone in a positive or negative light comes from the angle in which we view it.

24/10/2019 06:03:17 pm

Hi Rhondre. Yes, and we can ask what influences the angle we adopt, what we perceive (and don’t perceive) from it and how we respond to what we perceive.

John (Norval) Settle

24/10/2019 06:05:10 pm

Love the pic -- a better variation of the crude "old-witch" picture demonstrating two-images-in-one that we've all used in communication training somewhere. Is it possible to get a full copy of this?

24/10/2019 06:12:04 pm

Thanks John. It sounds like the use of this type of familiar image created a sense of connection for you?

I’m always intrigued by the Gestalt images of, say, an old woman (or witch)/young woman as what people perceive in any image is so profoundly influenced by personal-cultural experience and sense-making.

For instance, someone from an entirely different cultural and contextual background may perceive the so-called old/young woman image as, say, mountains and a waterfall.

I’m not sure where to get hold of the original version of the photo on this blog. I found it on Google Images.

Krista Powell Edwards MA FCIPD

24/10/2019 06:18:55 pm

An excellent book about how we frame - how we scope and categorise is ‘6 blind elephants’ volume 1 and 2.

24/10/2019 06:23:12 pm

Thanks Krista. I haven’t heard of that book before. I’ll have a look. My favourite book on reframing, albeit at an organisational level, is Gareth Morgan’s Images of Organisation.

Luis A. Marrero, MA, RODP, LLP

24/10/2019 06:31:17 pm

My article on meaning calcification can support your proposition:
https://authorluismarrero.blog/2017/12/19/blocks-to-meaning-the-calcification-of-awareness/

See also: https://authorluismarrero.blog/2019/02/10/self-imposed-ignorance-motivation-consequences-and-solutions/

24/10/2019 06:33:18 pm

Hi Luis. So in supporting my proposition, I am guessing that resonances between my ideas and yours created a sense of affinity for you? Thanks for sharing the links. Interesting reading. 👍

24/10/2019 09:16:10 pm

This article explains the affinity, from a logoteleological point of view. https://authorluismarrero.blog/2016/08/09/meaning-meaningful-and-important-the-powerful-three/

24/10/2019 09:17:19 pm

Thanks Luis.

E.G.Sebastian - CPC, CSL

24/10/2019 06:52:34 pm

I didn't know you were a biker, Nick! 😎

Now I know that you'r a womanizer/player and might have a short fuse, and I'd better not get in a fight with you, or else you and your (Christian) biker gang will "gut" me.

[oh lody lody, did I just "frame" you based on your bike!??? 😱 Ouops! 🙄 -- what type of bike? Maybe I'll change my mind ]

24/10/2019 06:54:04 pm

LOL E.G. 😎 22 bikes and 19 bike smashes - to date. It’s a wonder I’m still alive..! 🙏

26/10/2019 12:26:56 am

Oh ma' lord🤯

26/10/2019 12:27:36 am

🙏🙏🙏

Lukasz Zawakzki

24/10/2019 07:11:27 pm

Hmm that's a really good question! Potential consequences of reframining are limitless...
The problem is too many people have fixed mindset doing, thinking and living the life always the same way. The don't even see the need to change such mindset.

24/10/2019 07:15:07 pm

Thanks Lukasz. That’s an interesting point. Is a fixed mindset a problem per se, or is it only a problem if it doesn’t serve the person or others well..? 🤔

Lukasz Zawadzki

24/10/2019 09:19:31 pm

You know... if someone is happy with his/hers life just the way it is and simply don't want anything more that's fine. In such case, this is not a problem.
But is it really happiness? Obviously, everyone has different definition of happiness. For me, progress and growth are necessary ingredient of happiness. But that's just me...

24/10/2019 09:21:08 pm

👍

Anne Archer

24/10/2019 09:08:06 pm

This beats the old witch and young woman with a fur stole round her neck.

24/10/2019 09:13:14 pm

Thanks Anne. Yes, what a great image. I’m struck by how the old witch/young woman are images that we perceive, based on our personal and cultural backgrounds. In that sense, what we see may say more about our personal and cultural experiences than what is in the image per se. In Gestalt terms, ‘the Figure makes sense in the context of the Ground.’

Kevin Cowley Assoc CIPD

26/10/2019 12:29:53 am

Nick, really like this. For me the reframing is so important. As part of an MA in Coaching & Mentoring I am studying with Oxford Brookes I have been looking at lot at transformative learning and the need for clients to challenge their world view where it no longer serves them. The idea of the sense of affinity drawing you to someone I also find interesting and I think can affect the coach as well as the client. As a coach I'm still human and I am going to make assumptions about the client but do I have enough information to support that assumption? Thanks for posting this.

26/10/2019 12:33:07 am

Thanks Kevin. Your course sounds fascinating! Yes, I think this is one reason why skilful supervision can be so important and valuable in coaching practice - as, too, in other complex people-related disciplines.

Stella Goddard BA (Hons) Registered MBACP (Accred)

26/10/2019 12:38:32 am

What an interesting article Nick. I noticed the heading 'Framed' caught my attention and curiosity. I also noticed reading your description of yourself and nodding internally at the things that I know about you from our conversations here on LinkedIn. Then I noticed a note of surprise when you mentioned you like to ride motorbikes. It occurs to me that obviously I don't know you at all really - only those things that you choose to reveal here and my interpretation of them.

I wonder if our framing of people is an unconscious process which is part of our survival mechanism that helps us work out whether we feel safe, whether we want to get to know the person or not, do they remind us of someone we know and like or someone who has caused pain? So we take an 'instant photograph' as a beginning. Of course we are all influenced by our own internal lenses. Having taken a photo I wonder how often we take a closer look at our initial impression and change or adjust our lens. Are we close up or standing afar?

Certainly in my work as I get to know my clients my frame of reference widens and gets sharper. How many times have we all put people in the wrong frame and been willing to put that right?

26/10/2019 12:44:52 am

Thanks Stella. I think you expressed and illustrated beautifully the points I was hoping to make in this blog piece. Thank you! I think the idea of survival mechanism is a very interesting one. I wonder too if it’s about simplifying complex perceptions and experiences, e.g. in order to enable us to focus, anticipate etc, without becoming overwhelmed? The risks include stereotyping and unconscious bias.

26/10/2019 05:53:06 pm

'I wonder too if it’s about simplifying complex perceptions and experiences, e.g. in order to enable us to focus, anticipate etc, without becoming overwhelmed? The risks include stereotyping and unconscious bias.'

Your words resonate with me Nick and I would concur. I think it is part of our human nature to make assumptions and generalise but it is what we do with those assumptions and generalisations that can make a profound difference. . If we are not feeling safe we will be responding from our back brain in survival mode. We need to be able to self regulate so that we can think clearly and go from there.

This is why self-awareness and a willingness to be teachable is so important.

26/10/2019 05:53:59 pm

Hi Stella. Well said.

Tsufit

26/10/2019 05:50:23 pm

What an interesting image, Nick.

26/10/2019 05:51:24 pm

Hi Tsufit. Yes, I think it's amazing. I wish I knew who to attribute it to!

Atul Chugh

26/10/2019 05:55:23 pm

Nick, very well written in such a simple yet meaningful way. Loved it. I struggle with being reduced by others and reducing others at the same time. Easy to see others more fully! How can I be seen by them more fully is the Q in my mind !!

26/10/2019 06:09:14 pm

Thanks Atul. 'How can I be seen by them more fully'. What an interesting question! Thinking of the Johari Window, one method is by self-disclosure. A bigger challenge could be how to get past or influence another's existing personal-cultural beliefs, assumptions, projections etc. What do you think?

Aurélie-Anne Contosta

26/10/2019 06:58:15 pm

I was drawn to read due to the picture. I like having the face + profile at the same time. Really catchy.

26/10/2019 06:59:38 pm

Thanks Aurélie-Anne. I think that's a great example of how images, like words, can attract or repel.

Edward Young

26/10/2019 07:40:02 pm

This is the foto-man:
https://designcollector.net/likes/jesus-gonzalez-rodriguez-face-illusions

26/10/2019 08:05:32 pm

Thanks Edward - excellent! 👍

John Gibson Doc. PW

27/10/2019 09:59:44 pm

Hello Nick and Hello Stella - a really interesting article Nick and response Stella. I've been reading lot of Stephen Proges - poly-vagal theory. I wonder if our 'unconscious framing fits with his idea of 'neuroception' i.e. our human propensity to constantly scan for safety is part of framing. Nick you have nicely brought consciousness to it for me. I appreciate that. And Stella, as an hobby photographer I like your changing lens metaphor.

27/10/2019 10:02:38 pm

Hello John

Thank you for adding to this interesting conversation that was sparked by Nick's thought provoking article.

I'm glad the lens metaphor resonated.

Humans are relational beings so it is important for us to be able to distinguish between those relationships or potential relationships which are safe and those which are not.

I wonder how we do this on LinkedIn and other virtual platforms?

27/10/2019 10:05:46 pm

Thanks John. More food for thought. I wonder if the idea of scanning for safety in some way relates to the Gestalt idea of noticing and paying attention to what matters most to us in any given situation?

27/10/2019 10:59:14 pm

Sounds like a different concept / process Nick. As I understand neuroception is outside awareness. Referred to as an embodied "story with out words".

Kathy Reesor Oevering

28/10/2019 10:08:46 am

Very cool.

28/10/2019 10:09:50 am

Thanks Kathy. 😎

Bonnie Chomika

28/10/2019 08:08:39 pm

Great insight, Nick. When we listen to our clients and then ask curious questions, we can help them to re-frame, which can indeed open up terrific possibilities.

28/10/2019 08:10:14 pm

Thanks Bonnie - and well said. I agree!

Chrystel Rouveure

29/10/2019 09:36:16 am

It's very interesting! Thanks for this insight! As coaches, we know the power of labels and how they shape us. Working on them means opening a range of new opportunities.

29/10/2019 09:40:38 am

Thanks Chrystel. Yes, it reminds us as coaches to notice and be aware of the words we use to describe ourselves and our clients...as well as to raise awareness of the client’s words too.

Gayle Smith

30/10/2019 11:12:57 pm

How we frame who we are, what we see and what we do in life, is much like your excellent illusion picture. It depends on how we perceive it.

30/10/2019 11:14:19 pm

Thanks Gayle. I'm always interested in what influences our (and others') perceptions too.

Angela Wells

2/11/2019 09:49:06 am

Love the ‘frame’ game!

2/11/2019 09:51:25 am

Thanks Angela! The book that first got me thinking about this, many years ago now, was Doel & Sawdon’s The Essential Groupworker.

Andrew Russell

18/11/2019 11:15:27 pm

Ask yourself 'why am I thinking this way?' Be particularly aware of first impressions and any gut reactions in your decision-making
#unconsciousbias

18/11/2019 11:15:53 pm

Hi Andrew. Do you have any examples from experience you could share here?

Framed

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