‘What are you willing to take responsibility for?’, ‘What are you willing to commit to?’, ‘What are you willing to do?’ These are important questions in leadership and coaching. After all, people may appear to agree or give passive assent to all kinds of things, especially if they believe that ‘Yes’ is the correct answer in that culture or context. It doesn’t necessarily mean they will do it or, perhaps, that they will do it e.g. in the spirit or timeframe or to the standard hoped for. Half-hearted efforts are sometimes worse than not-do, especially if they result in poor quality or dangerous short cuts.
Our willing-ness touches on deep beliefs, values, intention and motivation. If I am willing to do something, assuming I am able to do it too, it points towards a choice, a decision, an action, a behaviour. It’s the energy behind movement, the driving force that makes something tangible happen. We can often sense the ‘will’ emotionally and physically, a mysterious inner dynamic that propels us forward. It’s like shifting a car into gear, releasing the clutch, feeling that pull. Without the will, the best thoughts and ideas may stay in-principle and never become outworked in practice. This is the notion behind John Whitmore’s W (Will) in GROW and David Clutterbuck’s 4th I (Intention) in 4xIs in coaching. If we stop simply at, ‘What actions will you take?’, we risk a person drawing up an action list, a list of actions-in-principle. The ideas generated here may stay at head level and not touch the spirit or galvanise the soul. ‘What matters most to you in this?’ and, ‘What would make this worthwhile for you?’ tap into values and emotions. Moving from there to, ‘So - in relation to that, what are you willing to take responsibility for?’ creates traction, momentum and commitment.
20 Comments
Nick Ralph
29/8/2017 06:57:46 pm
I agree Nick. The human will can be very powerful, and can even have power over suffering and pain. A strong willed person can acheive great things, if that will /spirit is used to encourage, build up and do good. However, beware of a strong willed person who does the opposite!
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Nick Wright
29/8/2017 07:04:40 pm
Hi Nick. I think that's a good point. A strong will can be a double-edged sword! Perhaps it's not the will itself but the underlying beliefs, values and motivations and how we exercise them?
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Marion Duff Registered MBACP
29/8/2017 07:05:43 pm
A clear conscience, a reflective mind committed to truth, a compassionate heart, a good will responsible for service to others with care and kindness, knowing my limits.
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Nick Wright
29/8/2017 07:11:24 pm
Hi Marion. Those sound like great qualities to me. :) I'm curious - what does it mean for the will to be 'good'? We tend to use the expression goodwill to refer to a benevolent attitude, a positive intention. I wonder if 'good' refers to the attitude and intention rather than the will itself? I think of the will as a neutral ability - if ability is a meaningful word in this context.
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George Anderson MSW, BCD, CAMF
29/8/2017 07:17:33 pm
In contrast to Life Coaching, Leadership Coaching is not limited to questions. Skill enhancement in Emotional Intelligence is far more useful.
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Nick Wright
29/8/2017 07:21:14 pm
Hi George. I guess that depends on different models and approaches to 'life coaching' and 'leadership coaching'. I'm interested: do you have any examples from your own experience that show how enhancing emotional intelligence can contribute to 'getting a grip'?
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Dan Brown, PCC
30/8/2017 04:06:28 pm
Nick, this article reminded me powerfully of the importance of connecting action with purpose/values; critical to designing "actions" with clients. Love your distinction about actions in principle.
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Nick Wright
30/8/2017 04:07:07 pm
Thanks Dan. Well said.
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Barry Jackson
30/8/2017 04:08:13 pm
This is a really helpful approach. I like that sequence at the end. Makes total sense.
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Nick Wright
30/8/2017 04:09:07 pm
Thanks for your affirming feedback, Barry.
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Cath Norris
30/8/2017 04:10:04 pm
Such an important aspect of coaching, Nick, really listening for and working with clients on identifying how strong their will and intent is with regards to achieving a goal and supporting them to identify and work through their barriers. In a profession which is focused on goals I think that there can be a tendency towards too readily accepting and chasing down goals as opposed to doing the relational work around working on will and intent. I was taught to ask clients if they were willing to 'do what it takes', along with an exploration of perceived barriers. The response to that question, alongside really listening for reservations, gives good ground for exploration.
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Nick Wright
30/8/2017 04:18:58 pm
Thanks Cath. 'Are you willing to do what it takes?' is a good question. Another way of framing it could be, 'In light of what it would take/cost to do this...and in the face of all that could prevent you doing it...are you willing to take the next step?'
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Fraser Hay
31/8/2017 01:12:07 pm
For me, its interesting, many want to abdicate responsibility to others (some call it delegation ;) )and seek solutions on "how to" achieve something and want to hold others accountable. However, I think the first step is getting a grip on where they are now, and in identifying what needs fixing or addressing. They need to wake up to their situation by looking at the indicators around them which confirm their reality now. Their problems and challenges didnt just manifest themselves this morning, there have been many signs over recent days, weeks even months. They need to get a grip on these early warning signs, and then prioritise based on the human, technical and financial resources available in context of the goals and objectives they want to reach and the impact those issues, challenges and obstacles are having in preventing them from achieving the results they want.
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Nick Wright
31/8/2017 01:17:46 pm
Hi Fraser. Interesting comments. Yes, I find it fascinating to see the many and creative ways in which I and others seek to avoid responsibility, often without realising that's what we're doing! I like your comment that, 'problems and challenges didn't just manifest themselves this morning.' This is where exploring the story behind the story can be very useful for the client if it helps them to grow in awareness of, e.g. personal, relational, cultural or contextual influences and how to address them in order to effect change.
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John (Norval) Settle
31/8/2017 02:18:38 pm
Those often are excellent questions in mediation and coaching, but not "right out of the box." First, we must listen and try to understand their narratives and needs.
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Nick Wright
31/8/2017 02:19:55 pm
Thanks John. Another way of reframing it can be, 'First, we must listen so that they may understand their narratives and needs.'
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John (Norval) Settle
1/9/2017 01:45:42 pm
Nick -- of course -- both mediators/coaches and parties. Don't go all transformative on me, now --mediators and coaches are not potted plants :-)
Nick Wright
1/9/2017 01:46:00 pm
:)
Jonathan Kimber
8/9/2017 02:54:31 pm
Thanks very much for this, Nick. I especially like your phrase 'The ideas generated here may stay at head level and not touch the spirit or galvanise the soul'. And you suggest some very potent questions. Thank you.
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Nick Wright
11/9/2017 08:55:52 pm
Thank you, Jonathan - and lovely to hear from you.
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Nick WrightI'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? Get in touch! Like what you read? Simply enter your email address below to receive regular blog updates!
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