In my first encounters with the Philippines, I was surprised by how often people asked me about my meals. ‘Have you eaten?’ This included during conversations online. I learned, over time, that the question arises out of an economic context in which food is often scarce owing to high levels of poverty, and a cultural context in which the health and well-being of one’s neighbour is considered important. It means the question is literal and it calls for a literal response. If I answer ‘no’ while I’m there physically, I’m likely to be offered and given a meal; even if the person who’s asking is poor. Rudo Kwaramba, a Zimbabwean colleague, explained a similar dynamic whilst working together on an assignment in Uganda. I had been invited there to help an NGO address a key challenge: that managers in rural community-based projects were, apparently, bad at addressing poor performance. Rudo reflected: ‘In wealthy countries, if you can’t earn an income or lose your job, your government provides you with financial support; if you become injured or unwell, your health system or insurance covers you. In poorer countries, people can only look to each other for support.’ It means that, in such contexts, to establish and maintain positive relationships with one’s extended family and neighbours is essential for survival. It also means that to support the health and wellbeing of one’s neighbours is critical too. There is a sense of radical interdependence, a pragmatic-ethical need, that drives cultural behaviour. Against that backdrop, we discovered that managers who were living and working in the same communities as their staff felt unwilling and unable to address poor performance – in case it damaged the network of relationships. It was the core issue for them. This insight moved the culture-shift question in the work from a simplistic-transactional, ‘How to change the performance management system’, to a deeper-relational, ‘How can we hold honest conversations that don’t harm community?’. It proved transformational. As I focus back on South East Asia, I notice that as some countries have grown in wealth, they have experienced a corresponding shift towards individual-orientated cultures. It's as if: the richer I am, the less I need you. ‘Have you eaten?’ is often retained, yet as a simple greeting, not as a literal inquiry or as an invitation to a meal. So, I’m curious: what have been your experiences of working cross-culturally? What have you learned?
17 Comments
Alison Simmons
5/3/2022 04:34:41 pm
That is fascinating insight Nick, thank you for sharing it. I haven’t had the experience of working quite so dramatically across different cultures.
Reply
Nick Wright
5/3/2022 04:43:50 pm
Thank you for such encouraging feedback, Alison. I have had the immense privilege of a partner from the Philippines, a sister-in-law from Malaysia and a lifetime of experience working with international NGOs in different parts of the world.
Reply
hannah barron
6/12/2024 11:00:47 pm
As a newbie to cryptocurrency, I lost a lot of money. I would like to express my gratitude to Expert Bernie Doran for their exceptional assistance in recovering my funds from a forex broker. Their expertise and professionalism in navigating the complex process were truly commendable. Through their guidance and relentless efforts, I was able to successfully retrieve my funds of $150,000, providing me with much-needed relief. I highly recommend him on Gmail ( Berniedoransignals (@) gmail (.) com) or whatsApp + 1 424 285 0682 to anyone facing similar challenges, as their dedication and commitment to helping clients are truly impressive. Thank you, Bernie doran, for your invaluable support in resolving this matter. i also invested $5000 with his guidance and got a good ROI profit using his signals and strategies
Reply
Mark Pickering
6/3/2022 10:40:19 pm
Thanks Nick. Very interesting insight. As wealth and the reliability of the systems around us increase, our direct reliance on others reduces, but often so does our concern for them and our drive to maintain good relationships with them.
Reply
Nick Wright
7/3/2022 03:17:34 pm
Thank you, Mark. Yes, it's interesting how we find other ways to fulfil a need and create a sense of community, e.g. via online social media, networks, games etc., that provide a sense of human connection without, necessarily, calling for a corresponding sense of responsibility or commitment.
Reply
Jeroen V.
6/3/2022 11:46:28 pm
Hear it often yes 😊
Reply
Nick Wright
7/3/2022 03:18:21 pm
Hi Jeroen. I'm guessing you are in Asia? :)
Reply
7/3/2022 09:59:59 am
Great article Nick and delighted that Jasmin is now your partner it seems!
Reply
Nick Wright
7/3/2022 03:28:06 pm
Thank you, Chris, for such encouraging feedback and for sharing from personal experience too. I was intrigued by the Shona reply: 'I am well if you are well'. It resonates well with the spirit of Filipino community and interdependence, particularly in the poorer communities. It's a bit like saying, 'I'm OK if we're OK' or 'We're both OK insofar as we're all OK.'
Reply
Alex
10/3/2022 11:19:08 pm
Thanks Nick. What fascinating insights. The food greeting was certainly typical when we lived in Nepal. You might arrive at someone’s home and the greeting would be along the lines of “Have you come having eaten?”
Reply
Nick Wright
11/3/2022 12:47:58 pm
Thank you, Alex. What fascinating insights from Nepal. I find it interesting that the same kind of greeting, based around food, applies there too. It sounds like 'our people' suggests a sense of corporate identity, a meaningful belonging, with all the mutual benefits and obligations that flow from that. It reminds me of the radical interdependence between relatives in extended families in the Philippines and other Asian countries.
Reply
Mary O'Brien
15/3/2022 09:03:11 am
Interesting Nick. Yes, I've seen that in a couple places. In the poorest countries, they will share all they have even when they don't have much. You are enriched by the spirit of the people giving food, love, and pure humanity. It's a beautiful experience. I go to these places and don't want to return to the States. I've had people ask why on Earth would I want to visit such poor areas? That's why. Because they are richer than the richest nations. The lessons you learn from people in these areas are unmatched and it's wealthy living. It takes a village. 🏡🏘💗
Reply
Nick Wright
15/3/2022 09:09:00 am
Hi Mary and thank you for sharing from your personal experience too. My sense is that the sharing of food etc. in the poorest countries and communities is often motivated by a complex combination of faith, alturism and pragmatics. I really liked your final comment 'It takes a village.' Perhaps there's something about poverty that creates interdependence, and wealth that enables people to drift apart?
Reply
Mary O'Brien
11/4/2022 04:32:42 pm
Not necessarily... I think it's more in culture. Your friend Jasmin comes from a culture as seeing everyone as part of a whole. Eastern philosophy looks at everyone collectively. We are all connected by 6 degrees of separation around the world. "What I do effects everyone else around me." Western philosophy focuses more on the individual. "What I do is my business." When you see everyone as part of the whole and each action effects the next person, you are more likely to be kind to your neighbor and share what you have. There is no expectation but you know that someday you will need help too and it will be repaid. It's also on the basis, "one man's trash is another man's treasure." I may not need this now, but it will benefit someone else.
Nick Wright
11/4/2022 04:34:56 pm
Thank you, Mary. I agree. Paradoxically, Jasmin's lifestyle is viewed by many people in her own context as radically counter-cultural. In other words, she's not living consistently with her own culture but, in many ways, in stark contrast to it.
Paul
25/3/2022 06:49:04 am
I once attended a Catholic mass presided by a missionary priest who was assigned for several years in South Korea. When it was time to give his homily, he blurted, "bap meogeosseoyo?" or "have you eaten?" According to him, some Korean phrases are confusing because they have cultural subtleties. Others, like proverbs, can have deeper meanings. Even native Koreans find it difficult to understand even harder to explain. Later, I found out that Korea was destroyed after the war and food was scarce. Hence, to show concern for someone's well-being, you'd ask if they had eaten. Today, Korea's economy is one of The Four Asian Tigers. That phrase has been carried on to this generation as a greeting to show concern for other people.
Reply
Nick Wright
25/3/2022 10:21:56 am
Hi Paul. Thank you for sharing such fascinating personal insights. It's a great example of how a phrase that originally had a literal meaning has evolved, as circumstances have changed, into one that has a more symbolic meaning.
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
Nick WrightI'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? Get in touch! Like what you read? Simply enter your email address below to receive regular blog updates!
|