It really hurt as I hit the ground, landed on twisted leg and snapped my kneecap out of place. I was just 5 miles into a ride for Sport Relief yesterday when I misjudged a diagonal kerb. Split seconds later I was flying, spinning, crashing down, rolling around in pain. I struggled to pull my leg back into place and grasped for my phone. A car stopped and called for an ambulance. Blue lights arrived, flashing, took me to A&E. 5 hours later, home with splinted leg and crutches. And now, suddenly, even the easiest tasks have become difficult. How to navigate a step. How to reach down to pick something up. How to get dressed and undressed. How to get up the stairs. How to make and carry a mug of tea. How to get on and off the sofa. How to get in and out of the car? How to get to work? Tasks I hadn’t even noticed before are now, unexpectedly, the focus of my attention, the challenge, the source of frustration, the source of relief - if I can achieve it. I’m suddenly, unusually, uncomfortably dependent on others. The compassionate car driver. The humorous ambulance crew. The professional doctor, nurses, radiographer and admin staff. The wife-nurse who raced to the scene, took my broken bike home, sat with me in A&E and is taking care of me now. The teenage daughters who laughed first then helped after playing excitedly with the crutches. The many friends who offered emotional and practical support - and laughter. The sunshine is out again today. I’m still annoyed I made such an obvious mistake on the bike. Disappointed to have failed on the charity ride. Frustrated to be off the bike when I was so close to reaching my by-Easter goals. Worried about permanent damage to the knee. Concerned about getting to work. Not enjoying my vulnerability at all! Yet, at the same time, a heartfelt Thank you to all those family, friends, strangers and professionals - and the gift of God I see in you all.
22 Comments
23/3/2014 06:28:41 am
Ouch! and on a charity ride no less. Reminds me of the sardonic expression "No good deed goes unpunished."
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Nick Wright
23/3/2014 06:39:06 am
Thanks Terrence. You made me laugh! Yes, I think I wrote this blog today as a bit of self-therapy. :) With best wishes. Nick
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AB
23/3/2014 06:41:19 am
Wonderful set of reflections, Nick. Thanks. Here's hoping to a positive period of recuperation and with none of your worst fears realised about ongoing injury.
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Nick Wright
23/3/2014 06:41:46 am
Thanks AB. Much appreciated. With best wishes. Nick
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Dawn Lesley Scott
23/3/2014 07:56:34 am
I broke my arm a few years ago and was dependant on others for the most basic of tasks. It really leaves you feeling vulnerable as you say. Sounds like you are surrounded by the best people so feet up and enjoy a bit of pampering just for a little while. xx
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Nick Wright
23/3/2014 07:58:08 am
Thanks Dawn. Yes, it certainly taps into feelings of vulnerability. I've got one foot up all the time now, propped on the chair arm and cushions! With best wishes. Nick
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GwenPage
23/3/2014 09:29:52 am
Yesterday I had an unusually busy, emotionally draining day & was at overload point when I saw your photos on FB... Today I've realised you had a pretty nasty accident & will be incapacitated for quite some time.
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Gwen
23/3/2014 09:31:09 am
PS: all best wishes for a good recovery too! :-)
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Nick Wright
23/3/2014 01:39:39 pm
Hi Gwen. Thanks for sharing your experiences and reflections too. Yes, you are sounding in therapeutic mood. ;) This could be a valuable - albeit at this stage unwelcome - experience and so I will try to approach the coming days and weeks open to fresh insight and challenge. Look out for further blog postings! With best wishes. Nick
Paul Breckell
23/3/2014 12:57:58 pm
Ouch. Sorry to hear that Nick.
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Nick Wright
23/3/2014 01:34:52 pm
Thanks Paul! With best wishes. Nick
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Gill How
24/3/2014 07:11:07 am
Hi Nick, so sorry to about your accident, it is a really big thing, isn't it. Twenty months on from breaking my elbow (also a bike ride on a charity ride as you may recall!) I am surprised at how much things still continue to get better and better - all quite hopeful! The vulnerability piece caused me to look at my relationship with control, now leaving me open to so many more opportunities, and richer ways of engaging with people. Of course, I would have liked this learning without the price - but, hey! Here ar/were my thoughts anyway:
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Nick Wright
24/3/2014 08:05:56 am
Hi Gill. Thanks for the note and the link. Yes, what is it about charity rides?! ;) I really like the depth of insight and honesty in your blog reflections and can certainly relate to the challenge of willingly letting go of control. I love your statement: 'now leaving me open to so many more opportunities, and richer ways of engaging with people.' I'm hoping for similar transformative insights and ways of being as I work through this current challenge. With best wishes. Nick
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Sohaila Rastan
26/3/2014 04:13:07 am
Very good blog, Nick.
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Nick Wright
26/3/2014 05:28:11 am
Hi Sohaila and thanks for the encouraging feedback. I too have become more aware of my frailties as I've got older and, perhaps, a little more forgiving of myself and accepting of them. I have to confess that, for me, a sense of gratitude tends to come afterwards on reflection, rather than necessarily in the moment! With best wishes. Nick
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Lisa Zaccagnini
31/3/2014 04:11:57 am
Stay courageous Nick. You are an inspiration.
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Nick Wright
31/3/2014 04:13:49 am
Thanks for such kind words of encouragement, Lisa. The knee is still very painful and I'm waiting for an MRI scan to assess the damage before the GP can arrange for remedial therapy. Here's hoping it won't be too long! With best wishes. Nick
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Diana Dema
1/4/2014 06:15:42 am
Wishing you a very quick recovery!! Have the best impressions form your passionate presentations and round talk discussions in the P&C Summer School in England, with World Vision. All the best.
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Helen KB
1/4/2014 11:24:39 am
It always makes me think when I have been debilitated, how difficult it must be to be like that all the time, what struggles some people face and with the grace of God, we get better. At the same time we don't forget those who won't or can't, because of not having access to facilities. Quite a humbling test for us methinks. x
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Cathy Ulbrick
4/4/2014 12:46:36 am
Ouch Nick - I felt your pain as I read your post.
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4/8/2014 07:06:58 am
Thank you for for sharing so great thing to us. I definitely enjoying every little bit of it I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you post nice post, thanks for sharing.
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Nick WrightI'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? Get in touch! Like what you read? Simply enter your email address below to receive regular blog updates!
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