‘It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.’ (Henry David Thoreau) Psychologist Albert Ellis, widely regarded as the founding father of what has today evolved into Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, noticed that different people responded differently to what were, on the face of it, very similar situations. Previously, you might have heard, ‘Person X feels Y because Z happened’. It assumed a direct causal relationship between emotions and events. Ellis’ observations challenged this, proposing that something significant was missing in the equation. After all, if this assumption were true, we could expect that everyone should feel the same way in circumstance Z. Curious about this, Ellis concluded that the critical differentiating and influencing factor that lays between emotions and events is belief. It’s what we believe about the significance of an event that affects most how we feel in response to it. Here we have person A who hears news of a forthcoming redundancy with fear and trepidation. He believes it will have catastrophic financial consequences for himself and his family. Person B receives the news with positive excitement. She believes it will provide her with the opportunity she needs to pursue a new direction in her career. Drawing on this insight, organisational researchers Lee Bolman & Terrence Deal proposed that, in the workplace, what is most important may not be so much what happens per se, as what it means. The same change, for instance, could mean very different things to different people and groups, depending on the subconscious interpretive filters through which each perceives it. Such filters are created by a wide range of psychological, relational and cultural factors including: beliefs, values, experiences, hopes, fears and expectations. This begs an important question: how can we know? Hidden beliefs are often revealed implicitly in the language, metaphors and narratives that people use. To observe the latter in practice, notice who or what a person or group focuses their attention on and, conversely, who or what appears invisible to them. Listen carefully to how they construe a situation, themselves and others in relation to it. Inquire in a spirit of open exploration, ‘If we were to do X, what would it mean for you?’; ‘If we were to do X, what would you need?’ This is about listening, engagement and invitation. Attention to the human dimension can make all the difference.
18 Comments
Andrea Walker
26/10/2022 03:16:59 pm
Hi Nick. Thanks to you for explaining such complicated psychological things so simply!!
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Nick Wright
26/10/2022 03:17:27 pm
Hi Andrea - and thank you for your encouraging feedback!
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Paul Anderson
26/10/2022 03:19:17 pm
Hi Nick. Now I understand why so many change efforts fail. We apply 'one size fits all' to everyone. Then we wonder why people resist of disengage from change.
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Nick Wright
26/10/2022 03:22:00 pm
Hi Paul. This is where I find questions such as those proposed in the final paragraph of the blog so powerful. They show respect for individuals, acknowledge diversity and draw people and groups into co-creating their own solutions.
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Hans Vogel
26/10/2022 03:22:58 pm
You are wrong. Reality is not perception. Reality is actuality.
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Nick Wright
26/10/2022 03:28:41 pm
Hi Hans. That's an interesting philosophical and psychological challenge! On that theme, this short related piece may be of interest?
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Sally Watts
26/10/2022 03:30:24 pm
Wow - what a great explanation of CBT! Thanks Nick.
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Nick Wright
26/10/2022 03:32:48 pm
Thank you, Sally. As you can imagine, CBT as a whole is a larger and more complex field than I have outlined in brief here. However, I do believe Ellis' insight into the impact of belief on emotion and behaviour is very powerful indeed.
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Katrina Smith
26/10/2022 03:33:38 pm
‘It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.’ I love that!
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Nick Wright
26/10/2022 03:37:19 pm
Thank you, Katrina! On that topic, you may find these short related pieces interesting?
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Mark Robson
26/10/2022 03:41:15 pm
Hi Nick. I don't like CBT because of its simplistic and unethical way of challenging the client's reality.
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Nick Wright
26/10/2022 03:43:38 pm
Hi Mark. I read a thought-provoking article recently on 'The Conversation' (March 2022) that may share your concerns:
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Phyllis Ellis
26/10/2022 05:36:43 pm
Hello Nick. CBT is about changing thoughts. ACT is about accepting thoughts. Which is better?
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Nick Wright
26/10/2022 05:40:47 pm
Hi Phyllis. That's a good question. I'm not a therapist and, therefore, not really qualified to answer it. However, I saw this interesting short article on the Chelsea Psychology Clinic website that introduces and compares-contrasts the two approaches:
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John Paul
26/10/2022 05:42:53 pm
Who would ever have thought that leading and managing change is so complex. Thanks for sharing.
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Nick Wright
26/10/2022 05:48:00 pm
Thanks John. Yes, one of the most helpful thinkers I find in this field is Harvard professor Rosabeth Moss-Kanter who writes extensively on the human side of change.
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Michael Bellingham
26/10/2022 06:16:51 pm
Hi Nick, there are so many ways to experience and react to a situation. A joke can suddenly become trouble, a well-intentioned word can trigger a crisis, but also: a spontaneous gesture, an unplanned word, an unexpected meeting can suddenly give hope and take away sadness.
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Nick Wright
27/10/2022 05:24:04 pm
Hi Michael. Yes - and well said. There are so many different factors that can influence how a person or group responds in any given relationship, situation or moment. This level of dynamic complexity means that approaches such as active listening and co-active partnership are so important. We can't possibly know or anticipate every potential response in advance. On that theme, you may find this short related article interesting? https://www.nick-wright.com/when-rubber-hits.html
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Nick WrightI'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? Get in touch! Like what you read? Simply enter your email address below to receive regular blog updates!
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