NICK WRIGHT
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Impostor syndrome...and other role conflicts

31/1/2013

30 Comments

 
A good friend in the police service once commented how he would arrive at work each day, put on his uniform and spend the rest of the day ‘impersonating a police officer’. He had a clear idea in mind of how a police officer would typically speak and behave and so consciously acted it out. It was like playing a role in a theatre with the uniform acting as both costume and psychological prop.

A young girl working as a prostitute on the streets of Bangkok told me how she always used a pseudonym when working with clients. This name kept her real identity hidden and provided her with an alternative persona. By doing this, she was able psychologically to disassociate and protect her ‘true inner self’ from the separate persona that was engaging in sexual acts with strangers.

A priest spoke of the pressures he felt to live a public life under constant moral scrutiny. By wearing a dog collar, he identified with a faith, a role and a calling that demanded high levels of personal integrity. Over the years, he struggled and found ways to live a more integrated and authentic life commenting that, ‘the real question is not how to be a priest but how to be oneself who is a priest.’

The first example here is of a person who found ways to fulfil a role by copying the behaviours of role models within that specific professional culture. The second is a person who learned to survive by deliberately separating herself psychologically from her persona-in-role. The third is a person who sought to find ways to live out a role by becoming more truly himself within that role.

I’ve worked with numerous leaders who have experienced similar challenges. How to live and cope with one’s own expectations of leader and leadership as well as those imposed by the organisation or culture, not to mention the actual or imagined expectations of the board, peers and staff. It can feel stressful, daunting, isolating, debilitating and anxiety-provoking. It can result in burnout.

Sometimes it’s a case of ‘impostor syndrome’ where a person believes he or she has been appointed to a role under some assumed false pretext or mistake. In such a situation, the person may put on a brave face and live in continual fear of being found out. ‘Sooner or later, they will discover that I’m not as good or capable as they think I am.’ It’s a form of exaggerated negative self-evaluation.

I’ve experienced similar pressures myself, especially 6-12 months into a new job. During the first 6 months, I tell myself it’s OK not to know everything because I’m new. There comes a point at which, however, I risk placing expectations on myself that I should now know more than I do. It’s a type of personal anxiety (fear of failure) combined with social anxiety (fear of being negatively evaluated).

One coping strategy is to wear a metaphorical mask like a stage actor. The problem is that it’s the same phenomenon the word ‘hypocrite’ points towards: literally, one who pretends to be what he or she is not. It lacks reality and authenticity, takes considerable energy to sustain and can lead to stress and exhaustion. It prevents the person being and contributing their best, as they really are.

There are spiritual parallels in Christian theology where people are both challenged and encouraged to ‘move into the light’ or to ‘live in the truth’ where everything is exposed for what it really is. It’s as if we need to find a space, a relationship, where we can see clearly and be totally honest, real and accepted in order to build out from that place. It’s about learning honesty, integrity and peace.

It’s like the equation: ‘trust = risk + support’. A person is more likely to open up, to be real (which can feel risky) if, when he or she takes such a step, they experience genuine acceptance and support. It reduces anxiety, helps the person think more clearly and creatively, fuels their energy and motivation, enables them to hear critical feedback and builds trust for the future.

Various coaching and therapeutic schools draw on similar principles, e.g. providing unconditional positive regard (e.g. person-centred); enabling a person to question and test their beliefs and assumptions in order to get a better sense of what is real (e.g. cognitive behavioural); experimenting with new behaviours to discover new experiences and ways of being and doing (e.g. gestalt).

In my coaching work with a leader, I may encourage him or her to explore and grow using a range of approaches, e.g. draw graphic images, select objects/symbols or strike physical poses that depict (a) their idea of the leader they believe the organisation or others expect them to be and (b) the leader they believe they are or aspire to be, then explore the commonalities and differences.

Alternatively, I may encourage the person to experiment wearing different types of clothing, to practice holding themselves in a variety of postures, to speak in different volumes or tones of voice to explore which they feel most comfortable with, to find a physical expression that best enables them to be who they are.

I may encourage the person to brainstorm what they believe others expect of them, believe about them as a leader and to test those assumptions openly with others. I may encourage the person to vividly imagine themselves as e.g. a humble, confident, capable leader and to role play it focusing on real scenarios, reflecting on thoughts, feelings, behaviours and responses as we do it together.

I may provide the person with toy figures and invite him or her to create a configuration of their current key relationships (e.g. leadership team), then ask them to move the figures into different configurations to reflect on how that feels and what insights emerge. I may also invite them to reflect on past life or work experiences that have felt very similar (e.g. family, previous teams).

I may encourage the person to step back and consider what their own experience might point towards culturally or systemically. If, for instance, the leader feels unsafe to be honest, what light does that shed on, for example, what is considered acceptable and unacceptable culturally within that environment and what can the leader do practically and realistically to influence positive change.

I would be interested to hear of others’ experiences in this area and how you have worked through them. Have you experienced 'imposter syndrome'? Have you struggled to reconcile who you are with the role you find yourself playing? Have you coached, mentored or trained others working through similar personal or professional challenges? If so, I would love to hear from you.
30 Comments
Luis Cochofel
31/1/2013 08:01:20 pm

Wonderful post, again...Nick.

I need to go to sleep, so I will not act as if... but I have to state that my sleep will surely be guided by the thought you've just offered me:

‘the real question is not how to be a priest but how to be oneself who is a priest.’

I'll have to read your post again and will come back with my 'awaken' comments on this wonderful piece of 'life'.

Thanks for being there and being yourself!

Reply
Nick Wright
31/1/2013 08:58:22 pm

Thanks for your kind words of feedback, Luis. I found those reflections on, 'the real question...' profound, inspiring and thought provoking too. I read them in a book by Michael Hollings whilst studying in theological college. I can't remember the title but I think it may have been Living Priesthood (1977). I will look forward to hearing your 'awaken' comments! With best wishes. Nick

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Brian Basham
31/1/2013 08:18:14 pm

Hi Nick

I think we all play 'roles' in our life. I know that, while I love teaching, there are days where I could do with not being in the class. So, I pretend to be the instructor I am. The only problem is that I get so stuck in the role, it is hard to get out of it at times.

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Nick Wright
31/1/2013 08:47:19 pm

Hi Brian. Thanks for the note and for the great example from your teaching experience. Yes, I agree that we all play roles in our lives. I could certainly identify with the feeling you described and how you may sometimes deal with it, e.g. 'pretend to be the instructor I am'. I've also sometimes imagined and acted out, e.g. how I thought a confident colleague may approach a situation I feel nervous in.

Nicky Hayes has some interesting comments on roles in the opening chapter of her book, Principles of Social Psychology, including how we play multiple roles, how the roles we learn are learned and internalised and how the social roles we play are in the context of others who play reciprocal roles. In a different social situation, the same people could play different reciprocal roles.

I was intrigued by your final comment that you 'get so stuck in the role...it is hard to get out of it at times.' Could you say more? I'm not sure if you mean something similar by it but I remember doing supervision training some years ago (where I was in student-practitioner role) and being told by a friend to stop trying to 'supervise' her when when she raised an issue outside of work.

There are also situations where a person may become so identified with a particular role that it becomes integral to their sense of who they are. This type of intrinsic identification with a role can make it hard to change, e.g. if someone over-identifies with a job role and loses that job, he or she may thereby lose sense of who they are and what alternatives they could enjoy and be capable of.

I'd be very interested to hear if you have further thoughts. With best wishes. Nick

Reply
Brian Basham
1/2/2013 12:42:43 am

Hi Nick

Happy to elaborate. I work at a police academy where the recruits are compelled (yes, compelled) to refer to me as Mr Basham. They are required to sit to attention as I come and go in the classroom. Often I have left that environment and went to my TAFE college and conducted myself like I would at the Academy. . Often now, I make my TAFE students (who are all adults studying after hours) of what the Academy is like and if slip into that character, to let me know. It doesn't take ling for someone to point out to me that I am at TAFE :-). I now make a routine of getting to TAFE early and spending some time just relaxing.

Other times, when I have left the classroom and returned to my office of 9 other instructors, and still in the teacher head space, I have gone into full on lecturing mode when asked a question. It also doesn't take my colleagues long to let me know - and often in phrases one does not repeat in polite company.

At home, my wife - a serving member - often tells me that I speak like her manager; and my kids often tell me that they are not my students and I need to be less formal with them.

Often the roles we play are really extensions of who we are, but we also need to remember to us - whatever that is?

Brian

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Nick Wright
1/2/2013 01:06:53 am

Thank you, Mr Basham. ;) I really like the personal examples you have shared because they illustrate very well what social psychologists call social scripts or schemata, i.e. consciously or subconsciously expected norms, conventions, rules or patterns of behaviour that apply in specific social relationships or contexts.

The police academy classroom, police academy office with peers, the TAFE college, your marriage and your relationship with your children are all great examples of 'social relationships or contexts'. Each has its expectations of normal behaviour and the reactions you have received when acting in the 'wrong' role are common. :)

Confusion or conflict can arise if we behave 'our of role' in a relationship or situation. Most people and groups appear to prefer social conformity. Its essentially the same reason why navigating between cultures can be tricky and disorientating, especially if we don't know what the norms are within the new culture.

I found your closing comment interesting...'often the roles we play are really extensions of who we are'. Perhaps we typically choose social relationships and contexts (where choice is an option) where we are most easily able to act out roles that feel most natural for us according to our own background, personality, preferences etc.

I also liked your ending...'but we also need to remember to be us - whatever that is?' I reflected on a similar question in this short blog which you may find interesting: http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2011/05/who-are-we.html. Thanks again for sharing such great personal examples. With best wishes. Nick

Reply
Eric Bot
1/2/2013 07:21:28 am

Nick,

I love how you touch upon phases in the development of multiple personalities, which as it appears on occasion happens to tempt everyone person on earth.

Getting stuck in these alternative personalities I believe can last a lifetime of which even better examples are found in politics.

Do you agree that:

The one that manages to develop self-knowledge in order know who he/she is and stick to this one personality best throughout his/her life will not only grow better and more throughout life but also develop authenticity even though one might not always be the best performer if it comes to social fit/compliance in this everyday society?

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Nick Wright
1/2/2013 09:32:27 am

Hi Eric and thanks for posting such intriguing reflections on this topic. You certainly got me thinking! The notion of multiple personalities is an interesting one. I guess it firstly depends on what we mean by 'personality'.

Social constructionists, for instance (e.g. see Vivien Burr, Social Constructionism, 2003) challenge whether any individual has a unified, coherent personality or whether the whole idea of it is essentially socially/culturally constructed.

In that case, multiple personalities might simply mean something like how we find ourselves being, thinking, feeling, behaving etc. in any specific set of circumstances. Perhaps it's a contextual expression or interpretation rather than a fixed characteristic.

It sounds like you may have been thinking more along the lines of people acting out different personas or roles, perhaps putting on different masks to suit different circumstances and purposes? It's as if doing so is inauthentic or lacks integrity.

In that case, I would agree with you that learning who we are and being true to ourselves, at least the self we believe we are and choose to be, is often a good route to healthy growth and personal authenticity - even if, as you say, it can carry its own costs too.

I suppose there are exceptions where acting out a role can be constructive and strengthen rather than somehow belie the person we are and choose to be, e.g. where we copy a positive role model in order to become more like that person.

I would be very interested to hear if you have further thoughts on this topic. With best wishes. Nick

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Keri Phillips
1/2/2013 07:59:11 am

Again Nick, you raise a very interesting topic. I have followed the conversation so far on your web-site, and there are three additional comments I would make.
1. DEGREES OF AWARENESS . Sometimes, as you have shown, there may be a high degree of awareness in the taking on of a role; deciding that one is or somehow needs to pretend/ be an impostor. I suggest that often the decision is outside awareness. For example, the person achieves a senior role and feels " somehow uneasy" ; that it is not a totally comfortable fit. One possible explanation is that the person, without realising it, has reached the point where she is breaking the family script; an unspoken family rule, ' Don't be successful that is simply showing off'; or ' If you are more successful than me, your Dad, I won't love you any more'.
Possible intervention, assuming that there is not a risk of moving into therapy/ counselling : a) encouraging the client ( coachee) to engage in some child-like activities - imagery, play. As indeed you suggest in your examples. b) using a transactional analysis script questionnaire.
2. WHICH IS THE REAL SELF ? On occasion, what may seem role- playing or pretence may in fact simply be the process of inhabiting a different aspect of self ; an aspect which essentially is no more real than any other facet of one's way of being.
Possible intervention: encourage the client to experiment with seeing the ' pretence' as part of a learning process and ' trying things on for size'. After all, people often feel awkward/ unreal in the early stages of learning a new skill. This might also link to psychosynthesis ( Roberto Assagioli) and the idea of putting energy into various aspects of self: parent, lover, friend etc; this would lead to an important and well- known distinction between ' being an angry man' and a ' man who chooses to be angry'.
3. NON-MEANING. The sense of being an impostor may be a reflection of ' I do not know who I truly am'. For whatever reason ( possibly obvious, such a being made redundant or getting an unwanted promotion), the person may be unclear about her purpose and what she truly wants. She may be over--eager to grasp a new role and identity.
Possible intervention: support the client in recognising the value of ' non-meaning' ;that it is qualitatively different from 'meaningless'. From here the client may enjoy 'encouragement to experiment, but without any obligation'. There might be many possibilities here, both directly and indirectly linked to role and identity : a different leadership style; travelling to work in a different way; different styles of dress ( as you mention, Nick) ; trying out different types of food etc etc.

Reply
Nick Wright
1/2/2013 10:13:05 am

Hi Keri and thanks for responding with such typically profound insights and ideas. I really like your three additional dimensions. I agree that leaders sometimes experience an intuitive sense of unease then somtimes find or create ways to explain or rationalise it for themselves and others. As I read somewhere once, 'what passes for rationality is often irrationality in disguise.' We sometimes don't know what's influencing us and I can see how the interventions you suggest could help with raising awareness.

Which is the real self is such an intriguing question. I have posted some related blogs you may find interesting, e.g. http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2011/05/who-are-we.html; http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2011/03/where-did-i-come-from.html; http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2011/02/whose-thoughts-am-i-thinking.html. I really like the idea of 'trying things on for size'.

I liked your comments on non-meaning and, in particular, the qualitative distinction you make from meaninglessness. In my experience, such questions and feelings often arise during times of sudden or dramatic change in a person's life (e.g. change in job or family circumstances). I found your emphasis on 'encouragement to experiment, but without any obligation' particularly helpful.

With best wishes. Nick

Reply
Eric Bot
4/2/2013 03:56:36 am

Nick, glad to extend as I was triggered by your piece and feel strongly about the topic. let me elaborate on my thinking.

It made me think of people with none or little self-knowledge and subsequent -esteem, so called followers, the average majority of people that become what they do or at least get greatly influenced by behavioral effects they experience in and from their professional performance in the outside world.
This in contrast with:
The essence of knowing who you are, the what, where, how and which way question as to your self, the self-esteem you derive from it and how and to what extent, beyond the primary instincts you stick to staying close to yourself, to manage and steer your own development.

Long sentences I know, but it is very hard(at least for me) to capture the essence in words alone.

My thinking is to the extent of influences or incoming stimuli and the effects this has on your programming versus the percentage you can actively control steer and manage.
I find that very few people seem to have some kind of "gatekeeper" or sanity-check to filter and find relevance in the incoming information to actually actively manage and guard their conscious mind, as well as their values and beliefs systems.

Many I feel neglect this type of maintenance and in a way disrupt or pollute the connection between their "self" and their exposure or experience they gather from the outside world.
Having clear receptors and pathways provides for a healthy and happy mind in which experiences provide a higher degree of satisfaction and sense of direction, so more of a self-fulfilling prophecy if you will(this to paint a mental picture).

The perception that one needs to have a social fit in society to me is one of those devious seducers, you hardly notice its effects; "social rules" being the average majorities values and beliefs can hardly be inspiring, creative or induce brilliance and happiness.

In other words the level playing field of social acceptance is boring and has a numbing effect.
As a way of escape I think people act out in certain ways, they believe are socially accepted if they were to act as a lawyer, accountant, bank clerk, civil servant, waiter, salesperson or customer services representative and do this long enough to become one even in private life.
So the protective measures to cope smothers the original personality and in the end little happiness about the way you have experienced your life, should you at retirement finally get around to some self-reflection.

Any time spent "acting" to me is time you will have given away, maybe in return for something, maybe not, anyway you will have robbed yourself from experiences which when you were young were clean crisp, innocent and pure.

that's what your story triggered in my mind. See what you did? Ha.



Reply
Nick Wright
8/2/2013 09:52:27 pm

Hi Eric and thanks for sharing further thoughts on this topic.

It sounds like you are contrasting (a) people who have a clear and strong sense of self identity and purpose and who live their lives, make choices etc. from that base with (b) people who have a less clear and strong sense of self identity and purpose and who are more shaped, influenced etc. by prevailing external influences.

It reminds me of conversations in social psychology about how people in different cultures perceive themselves and others and how they hold different beliefs and values about, say, self-as-autonomous vs self-in-community. The former prizes individuality and the latter prizes adherence to prevailing cultural norms.

Nevertheless, as far as I can tell, most individual-orientated societies have some kind of social ethic and most collective-orientated societies have some kind of personal ethic. As a Westerner, my own cultural background has certainly influenced me towards the individual-orientated end of the spectrum.

In light of this, I find myself instinctively agreeing that a healthy individual develops a clear and strong sense of self and makes choices rather than living on auto-pilot or being swayed uncritically by the proverbial 'crowd'. I would also want to add an ethical dimension to avoid individualism at the unhealthy expense of others.

With thanks again for such thought-provoking reflections! Nick

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Jacquie
4/2/2013 06:23:08 am

While it is important to understand yourself and how you fit in your work environment, I feel it is also vitally important to feel connected to your team. I worked with a group of imposters and it was funny how, in the end, they led me to look inward at my own life and chosen profession. I realized that I was not being true to myself. For years I was the "police officer" and it served me extremely well. I was very successful in my career. I followed the right role models and gained a tremendous amount of knowledge and hands-on experience. However, in later years when I was in a new organization I realized that the model for success changed. Higher value was paid individualism and in my opinion teamwork suffered. I personally felt slighted and I thought that our team was fake, much like the prostitute. We portrayed the team that had it all together but behind the curtain it was a mess because nobody worked together. I lost respect for my colleagues and began viewing them as the imposters. I became very resentful of the fact that they didn't have the knowledge, skills or level of experience to do their jobs and they hid their ignorance behind the shield of our leader who would come to their aid and rescue them on a regular basis. As a result, individual survival prevailed and teamwork took a back seat. This brought me great sadness professionally and personally because I truly believe and have experienced the tremendous value of sharing information and the power of building on the knowledge and expertise of the team. True team success comes from acceptance of the individuality of the members but falls short when members puts themselves above the betterment of the team. I was naive in thinking when I joined the organization that our team would actually perform as a high performing team. One that promotes open and honest communications and regular feedback. I believe that for true success that team members must balance the need for individuality and team. At times it is appropriate to wear a mask for the betterment of the team while at the same time maintaining your individuality. For example, the extrovert must hold back from blurting out thoughts to give the introvert time to express theirs. Likewise, the introvert needs to give the extrovert wide berth during brainstorming sessions because they won't be able to contain themselves in the moment. One day I looked up and realized that without a leader to set guidelines for teamwork that the team was doomed and it was then that I realized that I was the imposter. I wasn't being true to myself because I needed an effective team to be truly happy in my job. After 20 years in a field that I loved and 6 years in a successful organization that didn't recognize my contribution, I walked away from my professional success. I realized how important team work was to me and that it was of little value to my colleagues (not to be confused with my team of direct reports which I felt very connected to and received great satisfaction). Why wasn't I happy? I didn't respect nor did I have the respect of my work team. We were displaying the basic pitfalls of any ill performing team and it was at that moment that I became the priest and decided that I needed to learn to be true to myself. At that moment I decided to put fear aside try something new.

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Nick Wright
8/2/2013 09:24:25 pm

Hi Jacqui and thanks for sharing such personal and profound experience and reflections on this topic. I really like your emphasis on social-relational aspects, in this case in the context of a team and wider organisation.

I found your differentiation helpful between (a) modified behaviours that aim to serve the best interests of others, the team and its work and (b) behaviours that mask, avoid or collude with hidden or unacknowledged dysfunctionality within the team.

I also liked your final comments...'I needed to learn to be true to myself' and 'I decided to put fear aside to try something new'. A courageous step. I hope the 'something new' feels more reflective of who you are and aspire to be. With best wishes. Nick

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Particia Stokke
4/2/2013 08:34:44 am

You offer a unique approach to "becoming" a leader. It takes the imagining into a reality that reinforces the desired behaviors.

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Nick Wright
8/2/2013 08:46:17 pm

Thanks Patricia. Yes, I believe there is a profound relationship between imagination (/revelation) and action (/behaviour) that influences who we are and become. I would be interested to hear if you have any further thoughts or experiences in this area. With best wishes. Nick

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David Reeson
4/2/2013 08:35:32 am

Is this where the phrase "Fake it till you make it" comes from? ;-)

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Nick Wright
8/2/2013 08:39:58 pm

Hi David. I guess so! :) With best wishes. Nick

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Keri Phillips
4/2/2013 08:38:29 am

Hi Nick, I found myself reflecting further on our ' discussion' and this led me to pay a flying visit to Wikipedia.
What briefly follows is very my my thinking out loud ( as I do on my own blog : @ keriphillips1).
The term ' impostor syndrome' was apparently coined by Pauline Clance and Suzanne Innes in 1978. This was then contrasted with the Dunning-Kruger effect ( 1999, and research at Cornell University) in which people find it impossible to believe in their own INcompetence. They are in fact incompetent because they believe in their own superiority, rating their ability much higher than the average. Linked to this they fail to recognise the genuine skills that others have.
From this point, I then began to reflect on the ideas from a transactional analysis perspective. It would seem that the person with Impostor Syndrome probable finds it easy to give himself negative strokes; he may also, as a matter of habit, read negative strokes into the responses of others - e.g assuming that if somebody is being quiet then she is inevitably feeling adversely critical towards him.
The Dunning-Kruger person would presumably find it very easy to give others negative strokes, whether implicitly or explicitly; there would also, I guess be some self- delusion e.g. Blaming others if something goes wrong, rather than looking at self.
With either of the above, as a client/ coachee, then there could be interventions which focus on stroking patterns towards self and others, perhaps encouraging going to extremes in the coaching room. For example, with the Impostor Syndrome client, encouraging her to be even more self-critical to the point where she realises: 1. she has a choice 2. she laughes. Clearly positive psychology points to a very different, alternative strand of intervention. With the D-Kperson it might be encouraging him to identify, during the forthcoming week, 6 strengths that a particular colleague has.
I feel on rather less solid ground when I then consider possible links with the Drama Triangle - Persecutor, Rescuer and Victim. Arguably the Impostor Syndrome person may find it quite easy to put herself in the Victim position ( I-U +). Similarly the D-K person may quite easily get into the Persecutor position ( I +U-). However, one of the key ideas within the Drama Triangle is that people can shift, often quickly, between the positions; for example, the Resuer suddenly switches to Persecutor. From my limited reading so far it does not seem that such switches are compatible with current descriptions of D-K or the Impostor Syndrome.

Reply
Nick Wright
8/2/2013 09:06:30 pm

Hi Keri and many thanks for sharing your further reflections on this topic. I really like your contrasting of imposter syndrome with the D-K effect and your linkages with TA. It made me think about social environments and influences alongside personal disposition and, psychodynamically, what/how different people introject and project.

I also liked your ideas on how to address this experientially in coaching, e.g. by exploring extremes. I could imagine inviting the client to imagine a polarity across the room and to physically move along the continuum as they imagine and experience the different extremes. A great way of raising awareness and critical reflection.

Interesting thoughts on possible resonances with the drama triangle. I wonder in that frame if an imposter syndrome person is also more likely than a D-K person to act in rescuer/saviour mode owing to, potentially, a greater likelihood of empathising with others? Not sure! With best wishes and thanks again. Nick

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Keri Phillips
9/2/2013 02:01:33 am

Good point Nick, I'm not sure either. Thee might be something about people being drawn to that which they most fear / despise. e.g. Reaction formation, and the evangelical and puritanical preacher who rages against the sins of the flesh during the day and then ravenously indulges them at night. So, it is possible that the person with Arrogance Syndrome ( D-K effect), might on occasion be more likely to move into the Recuer role if it represents that which he most wishes to avoid. I am also reminded of somebody, I think it might have been that wonderful transactional analysis writer/ teacher/ theoretician, Graham Barnes, who wrote of the Victim position as being the existential centre of gravity for all who enter the Drama Triangle.
I am also thinking about the process by which empathy can evolve into entrapment - of self and others. But that is probably a whole new story !! Regards Keri

Susan Kelly-Lord
5/2/2013 11:37:13 am

an excellent piece of work Nick

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Nick Wright
8/2/2013 08:20:34 pm

Many thanks for your encouraging feedback. Susan - appreciated. With best wishes. Nick

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Julie Bullen
5/2/2013 11:37:58 am

Lovely thoughtful piece Nick, thankyou. I experienced Inposter Syndrome when I first was becoming succesful professionally - I managed somehow to crystallise it into an image - which was - a heavy hand falling on my shoulder from behind, accompanied by a bellowing voice saying "Oi, how did you get here, You're supposed to be on the checkout in Tescos" This made me laugh and helped me identify class issues as being key to my discomfort - I was the first in my family to go to university and get such 'posh' work. I then started to talk with others and found that everyone seemed to feel it - which brought more laughter - and about that time Elton John's song came out "looking like a real survivor, feeling like a little kid"....and hey, I realised this was part of the human condition! and it helps to talk about it and build support around you. Lots of my clients experience it. I believe there is a book out called Imposter Syndrome - just telling clients that helps. I haven't read it - yet. Best Julie

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Nick Wright
8/2/2013 08:35:06 pm

Hi Julie. Thanks for your kind feedback and for sharing such a great personal example. I could certainly identify with the experience you describe, having being the first in my own family to do something similar.

I was really struck by your reflection on 'class issues as being key to my discomfort'. It made me wonder how far social and cultural issues influence (a) who is more likely to experience imposter syndrome and (b) under what kinds of circumstances.

I like the way you have found ways to deal with the syndrome, including being able to laugh about it. Humour can have a great way of putting things into perspective, as can talking about it with others who are supportive.

You prompted me to have a glance at Amazon to look for books on Imposter Syndrome. It seems there are quite a few! I'd be interested to hear if you have any further reflections on this, including the social and cultural dimensions. With best wishes. Nick

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Julie Bullen
17/2/2013 12:12:58 pm

Happy to discuss further - not so happy to type further as typing is a bit of a slog for me and too slow for thinking - if you'd like to arrange a phone call via email happy to do so.

Carl Roodnick BA HDip
8/2/2013 08:01:22 pm

Who said: "I think, therefore I am"? It may have been the Holocaust survivor and philosopher Victor Frankl.
The Book of Proverbs includes the following wise saying by King Solomon: "As a man thinks in his heart (soul), so is he".
A close friend and recent Law graduate, shared how as a students of Law, he and his classmates were inspired and literally transformed in their professional identities by their Professor. Apparently the Prof encouraged them to think and carry themselves as Professional Lawyers instead of mere professional students of Law. This had a profoundly positive effect on my friend who at the time was recently transferred from another University as an undergraduate, where the prevailing mentality had been one of a professional academic.
Having been there quite recently, I can also relate to your earlier statement: "There are also situations where a person may become so identified with a particular role that it becomes integral to their sense of who they are. This type of intrinsic identification with a role can make it hard to change, e.g. if someone over-identifies with a job role and loses that job, he or she may thereby lose sense of who they are and what alternatives they could enjoy and be capable of."
In my case, the reading of the book "Starting a High-income Consultancy" by James Essinger, turned me loose enough to pursue my own self-actualising consultancy, drawing on the various skills, expertise and experiences that I acquired over a quarter-Century of formal employment.
The Apostle Paul expressed it so well when he exhorted believers "... not to be conformed to this world but to be transformed, so that you may know what is that good and perfect Will of God" - Romans 12:2.
Could it be that "much learning make one mad"? As one Roman official commented to same Paul of Tarsus.
But who I am? Well that's anyone's guess really!

Reply
Nick Wright
8/2/2013 08:14:59 pm

Hi Carl and thanks for sharing your thoughts on this topic.

I really liked your example of the professor who encouraged the students to think and carry themselves as professional lawyers rather than as professional students and the positive impact it had on them. It's as if the views and beliefs we hold of ourselves can really impact on who we are and become and what we find ourselves capable of.

I was interested too in your reference to Romans 12v2 in the New Testament of the Bible. I once wrote a short reflection on that same verse, drawing on insights from social psychology. If it's of interest, here's the link: http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2012/02/am-i-too-normal.html.

With best wishes. Nick

Reply
David Reeson
11/2/2013 01:07:28 am

Hi Carl, I cannot remember who wrote "I think, therefore I am", but it wasn't Victor Frankl. Google attributes the phrase to René Descartes. Nevertheless, some excellent observations.

Also, I have read Romans 12:2 as "And do not be conformed to thie world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God" - NKJV. Still, basically the same meaning - change the way you think, and completely change yourself. Paul is of course exhorting the Romans to change their thinking from wordly thinking to Christ-like thinking.

Reply
fast loans link
14/10/2013 03:50:29 pm

To do two things at once is to do neither.

Reply



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    ​Nick Wright

    ​I'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? ​Get in touch!

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