‘We are always influencing, but not always in the way we hope.’ (Richard Marshall) We do well not to underestimate the power of role-modelling. Who has most influenced your thinking and practice? What are you role-modelling for people you work with? I remember that night vividly. I was alone at an event in St James’ Church in London, an event aimed at raising support for Central American refugees in the UK. I was, serendipitously, sitting next to the Nicaraguan ambassador. At the end of the evening, a group of refugees went forward for a photo shoot. They were being guided and directed by a vivacious woman wearing a nun’s habit who, with warm, wide smile and open arms, gestured me forward to join them. I felt humbled to be invited. This was my first encounter with Sister Isabel. With five degrees and a PhD to her name, this truly remarkable Spanish woman, who worked as a psychotherapist with traumatised people, became a close friend and inspiration in my life. We met up regularly to chat, discuss, argue, laugh, support and encourage each other in our respective work. She reached out persistently beyond the strict boundaries of her formal role to touch people’s hearts and lives with love. Last night…she died. So today I feel a strange emptiness. Wordless, struggling to find words to pay tribute to a life that left such a mark on my life. But I don’t want to be silent. Isabel would say all that matters is Jesus, yet I want to show a glimpse of her spirit too. When we met, I was working with a Central American political action organisation. She challenged its revolutionary spirit: ‘You are willing to fight for the people but are you willing to die for them?’ Disconcerted faces all round. She would be – literally. True to this point, she travelled to Latin America to work with students who were suffering torture under a brutal dictatorship. It was a harrowing experience and she returned even more convinced: ‘My therapeutic training could only take me so far. What these people needed more than anything was love.’ Later, she had a stroke that left her partially-paralysed, yet she limped on with her work with determined patience and conviction. Her final prayer: ‘I’m ready to go now, to be with Jesus.’ What a woman. What an inspiration. Sister Isabel Maria Montero
38 Comments
Deborah Pearson (Long)
17/4/2019 10:07:14 am
A very beautiful, touching tribute to, what sounds like an amazing lady.
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Nick Wright
17/4/2019 10:27:42 am
Thank you for the warmth in your words, Debbie. Much appreciated.
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Roger Mannell
17/4/2019 04:48:46 pm
Nick, sorry for your sad loss. She was obviously a remarkable woman from the things you said about her.I can tell she meant a lot to you.You have a remarkable talent for meeting these very special people. God bless you and long may it continue.
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Nick Wright
17/4/2019 04:49:12 pm
Thank you, Roger. You are one of those very special people. May God bless you too.
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Megan Davies
17/4/2019 04:49:51 pm
So sorry Nick. She sounded like a remarkable lady.
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Nick Wright
17/4/2019 04:51:07 pm
Thanks Megan. Yes, she was! ⭐️
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Coleen Hunter Wallmann
17/4/2019 10:51:38 pm
Sorry to read this Nick. You will always have precious memories of her. x
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Nick Wright
17/4/2019 10:52:27 pm
Thank you, Coleen. Yes, that’s true. 🙏
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Mark Coupe
17/4/2019 11:12:06 pm
It is one of the great quandries of Christian life when we lose people to a better place. There is a conflict of joy for them and loss for us. Thank goodness for happy memories and fellowship. God bless you.
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Nick Wright
17/4/2019 11:16:17 pm
Thank you, Mark. Yes, we feel the loss but not despair. God bless you too. ⭐️
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Jayne Harrison
18/4/2019 11:08:45 am
I am so sorry for your loss Nick. What wonderful woman; she is right. Love soothes all ills.
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Nick Wright
18/4/2019 11:13:37 am
Thanks Jayne. Yes, I remember Isabel recounting a time when she encountered a young person who had been badly tortured and then released. As he entered her office, he looked completely broken. She said, for a moment, all her psychotherapy training flashed through her mind and yet felt so inadequate. Instead, she stood, walked across to him and simply hugged him. They both cried. It was the start of a long journey of healing.
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Jayne Harrison
20/4/2019 12:25:47 pm
Being a compassionate human before the tools and techniques, job title etc.
Nick Wright
20/4/2019 12:27:35 pm
Hi Jayne. Yes, and profoundly present: http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/the-power-of-presence
Lakshmidevi Vasudevan
18/4/2019 11:56:57 am
My mentors Ram and Vasu in OD. Two different people but extremely inspirational. It took a long time for me to feel their heart! Great people for knowledge, experience and love! They both have transformed many lives. It is a great blessing that I could meet such souls who guided me/guiding me and shaped me in to what I am today!
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Nick Wright
18/4/2019 11:58:57 am
Thank you, Lakshmidevi, for sharing such great examples of role models and the impact and influence they have had in your life and work!
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Maïa (Maya) Barghout
18/4/2019 01:10:21 pm
Love is, the answer. When we care everything else we know, everyone we interact with, including ourselves just flows like a charm...
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Nick Wright
18/4/2019 01:11:22 pm
Hi Maïa. Yes, I believe that is true. Yet I don't always find it easy to do.
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Glenda Thomas
18/4/2019 03:25:43 pm
My condolences to you. My mother inspires me Fannie Mae Fleming. We called her Madea, short for Mother Dear. She passed away in 1989. She fed the poor, counseled married women and loved studying and discussing Gods word. She lived Jesus and she was Spirit led. She lived according to what she believed to be right.
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Nick Wright
18/4/2019 03:27:28 pm
Thank you, Glenda. It sounds like your Mother was a great role model for love and integrity. 🙏
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Heather Prince
18/4/2019 03:29:31 pm
What an amazing story and so sorry to hear of her loss. Her work here was complete.
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Nick Wright
18/4/2019 03:30:51 pm
Thanks Heather. Yes, at the end, I think that’s how she saw it too.
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Benoît Couture
18/4/2019 07:24:46 pm
When it comes to role model, here's the most inspiring clip I've seen so far: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_fDhqRk_Ro
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Nick Wright
18/4/2019 07:27:05 pm
Thanks Benoît. My favourite part of the clip is where the student says, 'Thank you, Sir. You saved my life.'
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Benoît Couture
20/4/2019 12:33:25 pm
Yes Nick, how can there be better confirmation that it was all worth it. This is one of the best movies of front line role modelling.
Nick Wright
20/4/2019 12:35:42 pm
Hi Benoît. One of my favourite movies along those lines is Dead Poets' Society. Are you familiar with it? You may like this short piece too? http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/because-of-this-man
Benoît Couture
20/4/2019 03:31:35 pm
Yes Nick, I enjoy Dead poets society much. We plant and water the Seed and the Lord's makes it grow. Identity and Presence feeds from His Testimony Who radiates through our witness of His Salvation...
Nick Wright
20/4/2019 03:34:21 pm
Thanks Benoît. I liked your reflections on 'empty space'.
Martine Bolton
18/4/2019 07:28:23 pm
Hi Nick - I think most of the positive messages and examples I've been influenced by have been from writers rather than people in my immediate environment (probably including yourself, actually!) There are a few people in my life that I have learned a lot from - I have some very learned, wise and intelligent friends - but to be honest, I think I have learned as much from the bad examples (about how not to be, or go about things!) as I have from the good - the former being higher in number 😄!
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Nick Wright
18/4/2019 07:30:47 pm
Thank you, Martine. ☺️ Writing and writings inspire and influence me too.
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Ian Henderson
20/4/2019 12:28:23 pm
Hi Nick. Really sorry to hear that someone so important in your life has passed on mate. Your words about role models are spot on. When I think about the people who have influenced my life probably don't know the powerful impact that they have had on me and all that I have achieved. I wish I could now thank them. Unfortunately, in some cases that is no longer possible but I'm sure they knew anyway!!! God bless.
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Nick Wright
20/4/2019 12:31:47 pm
Thanks Ian. Yes, that's true. Just think of how many people's lives you have impacted too. It's as if those who have inspired and influenced you have played a part in inspiring and influencing others through you. God bless you too, especially at this Easter time.
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Nina Cooke
22/4/2019 08:02:07 pm
Good job!
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Nick Wright
22/4/2019 08:03:17 pm
Thanks Nina. Isabel definitely lived a life worth living.
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Tara Parker
22/4/2019 09:11:09 pm
Nick,
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Nick Wright
22/4/2019 10:54:55 pm
Thank you, Tara. I think you expressed that beautifully. I hope and trust that something of Sister Isabel's life will continue to resonate throughout my own life and touch the lives of others.
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Michelle Rogers
23/4/2019 04:43:29 pm
What an inspiring woman! Your words have reminded me how important it is to talk to people and thank them for the impact they have on us. Thank you.
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Nick Wright
23/4/2019 04:45:55 pm
Thanks Michelle. Yes, I wish Isabel could be alive today to hear how she has inspired people too. I try to make a point of thanking people who have inspired and influenced me. It can be a great encouragement and, conversely, it's an awful feeling to be too late.
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Nick WrightI'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? Get in touch! Like what you read? Simply enter your email address below to receive regular blog updates!
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