Marathon

8/5/2018

On the face of it, the hottest early May bank holiday on record in the UK wasn’t the ideal time to run a marathon. After all, the risks of dehydration, heat stroke and exhaustion were high. I went, not to run but to support and take photos of my friend and mentor, Adrian Spurrell, as he and other athletes set out in high spirits to grasp this intense challenge. 20 miles in, I watched person after person stagger past, bathed in sweat, struggling ahead but determined to finish. Charity logos emblazoned proudly on their t-shirts, they were unwilling to give in to the sun’s relentless heat.

After a while, I noticed one man stop at the side of the path. He was desperately weary, bent over, clearly out of energy, rubbing his cramped hands up and down his painful thighs. He looked depressed, dejected and defeated. After a few minutes, however, two other runners appeared behind him. One paused briefly, smiled, put his hand reassuringly on the man’s back and spoke calmly but assertively, ‘Don’t stop. Keep walking. You can do this.’ The man’s face brightened a little, a glimmer of hope – and he stood straight, started limping…and walking…then broke into a jog.

It felt moving and inspiring to observe. The empathy and compassion, support and challenge of a fellow runner, a total stranger. What a difference it made. I would like to think that exhausted man finished the race, collected his medal and went home feeling proud of this great achievement. And what a wonderful example of a ‘good Samaritan’, the person who was willing to notice, to pause in that moment, to think beyond himself, to act decisively on behalf of the other. What a fantastic role model and metaphor for leaders, coaches, L&D and OD too. I want to be more like him.

32 Comments

Clifford Morgan

9/5/2018 07:45:13 am

A kind word of encouragement never goes a stray. Many a leader and their team could do with a simple word of encouragement on a more regular basis.

Nick Wright

9/5/2018 09:01:38 am

Hi Clifford. I agree!

Stella Goddard BA (Hons) Registered MBACP (Accred)

11/5/2018 10:17:34 am

Marathons resonate with me. I remember clearly on my third one hitting the wall at 20 miles and feeling really unwell. A wonderful runner l didn't know came along side and encouraged me and we finished the race togther. I have a wonderful photo of both of us at the finish with our arms around one another. That race taught me so much more than the first two marathons.

It also occurs to me that in my clinical work l support my clients when they are exhausted and in pain. There is something really powerful about connecting with people at their point of need.

As always Nick your articles are rich with much to reflect on - thank you.

11/5/2018 10:20:02 am

Thanks Stella. I wish I could say things like 'on my third one', when it comes to running marathons! :) Thanks for sharing such a wonderful personal account. It certainly resonates - and fantastic that you took a photo together to capture that special moment and experience.

11/5/2018 11:18:30 am

Thank you Nick - Some experiences you never forget even if they were a long time ago. I am so glad that I did them. The photo is very special. When people see it they ask if the other runner and I are friends. Then I tell the story. All I know about her is that she is called 'Christine' and I am still grateful to her for her kindness to me when I was struggling. We really can make a difference to others whether we are in their lives for a brief moment or longer.The lessons I learnt from the marathons help me so much as I navigate life and all that it holds. Life is a gift even though sometimes it is really hard. I agree with Clifford Morgan that 'a kind word of encouragement never goes astray'

I have a vague sense that you do cycling endurance events. Am I right?

11/5/2018 11:20:07 am

Hi Stella. Yes, I love cycling...although I haven't done much this year. I plan to dust off the bike and take it out for a spin this weekend - weather permitting. :)

11/5/2018 03:45:28 pm

Nick - l hope you enjoy your bike ride. Being outside is so special. I find it wonderfully relaxing and a time to switch off from the fullness of the day's responsibilities.

Rachel Broome

11/5/2018 03:42:32 pm

Was that the Milton Keynes one by any chance? My sister did it this year, I've done it the last 2 years but luckily took a break this year - I wouldn't have survived the heat! Yes that was a really lovely moment you witnessed. It is true - running is all in the head - if you think you can, you can. If you think you can't - the same. I wrote a blog after last year's marathon experience https://tallrachel.wordpress.com/2017/05/06/mind-games-and-marathons/
- am planning on being back on it next year though!

11/5/2018 03:43:45 pm

Hi Rachel. Yes, it was the MK marathon! 29 degrees. Serious. Thanks for the link. You may like this short piece too? http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/run

Siobhan Turney

14/5/2018 08:47:32 am

Great story of compassion and of resilience. Thanks for sharing. Recognition should also go out to the exhausted man for responding with courage and determination. It would have been easy to have said thanks and retire.

14/5/2018 08:49:21 am

Thanks Siobhan. Yes - I agree!

Marion Cole

14/5/2018 08:52:55 am

A perfectly apt description for community support. As a runner I have literally had someone place their hand on my back as I ran and it made an amazing difference. We are all running our own marathons in this line of work...

14/5/2018 08:55:50 am

Thanks Marion. You made me wonder about the cultural origins of expressions such as 'a pat on the back' as a physical representation of encouragement and support...and the impact of using it literally rather than simply metaphorically.

Denise Valk Faisst

14/5/2018 08:57:04 am

Thanks for sharing this great example of a random act of kindness Nick Wright.
Kindness goes a long way and brighten even a tired heart.
We all should be more like that person.

14/5/2018 08:57:34 am

Thanks Denise. I agree. Well said.

Royce Holladay

14/5/2018 08:58:25 am

Nick, thanks for sharing this...It's lovely!

14/5/2018 08:59:59 am

Thanks Royce. You're welcome...and your kind feedback felt like a hand on my back! :)

Dave Gregory

14/5/2018 09:01:45 am

Great story and one that is repeated in every marathon I've ever witnessed. The true leaders pick up others even when it means slowing down themselves.

14/5/2018 09:03:49 am

Thanks Dave. I wonder why that happens so often in marathon events? Something about hard challenge, common endeavour, radical empathy..?

Catriona Futter

15/5/2018 05:42:25 pm

I love this too - the short time it takes to give a specific word of encouragement or support can bring so much blessing and renewed hope. The key is noticing - when we learn to pay attention to what is going on around us, and lift our eyes off ourselves and our busyness, we notice more where we can be the ones to bring a word or a smile, or a shared moment of empathy for someone else. Great reminder, thanks.

15/5/2018 05:44:36 pm

Thanks Catriona. I agree. Noticing is the key. Perhaps it starts with a desire and a decision to notice...and then, having noticed, to act?

16/5/2018 11:25:44 am

Absolutely. The phrase in my mind a lot at the moment is simply 'pay attention'. And then being bold enough to act, but that is often the fun/exciting/encouraging part!

Jeanne Schulze

16/5/2018 11:27:11 am

Just the thing I needed today, Nick. Not running a literal marathon, but definitely running this way in my work. Thanks for being a Good Samaritan today. Jeanne

16/5/2018 11:28:46 am

Thanks for your encouraging feedback, Jeanne. Hope you successfully reach the finishing line soon! :)

Sekararajan Balagurunathan

17/5/2018 10:25:22 am

Live along with peers.

17/5/2018 10:25:57 am

Hi Sekararajan. Say more..?

Tara Parker

17/5/2018 02:36:46 pm

Nick,

Though we all don't like to admit, or even realize it, reassurance is a necessity for the healthy mentality. Your experience reminds me of my sweet friend who gave birth to her first child two months ago. The child was to received a 2-month check up which would include a serious of inoculations via syringe. This young mother was nervous for her baby, anxious at the pain she would feel from the point of the needle and how her baby would respond with cries and tears. This mother has merely only begun her marathon and yet she was already trying to debate if she should stay in the room and comfort her vulnerable child or leave the room to, essentially, comfort herself. As I recognized and recalled similar feelings I reminded her that she could do what she felt was best and that ultimately, she would see her wee one through much more pain than a vaccination. I asked her where she would want her mother to be. She chose to stay in the room with her daughter.

While this is no marathon it is an example of how sometimes the right words come from the person we least expect or are of strange nature to us. These moments are to remind us that there is a need for one another. That need may be limited or could be long-term. We are all here to serve one another to some capacity.

Tara

17/5/2018 05:25:19 pm

Hi Tara. What a great story. 'I asked her where she would want her mother to be.' What a great question!

Lynne Davidson, Ph.D.

18/5/2018 09:49:03 am

I always love Nick words ...Nick, I remember the one about the motorcycle folks all in the backroom and praying as I remember...Wish you would put put all of your verses in a book. Nick, I just put your hand on my back!
Lynne Davidson, Ph.D.
President, Davidson Coaching and Consulting
President, New York Society of Emotional Intelligence

18/5/2018 09:50:15 am

Many thanks for such encouraging words, Lynne. I felt your hand on my back too. :)

Kathrin

18/5/2018 06:11:49 pm

Meine Gedanken zum Marathon:
Der Marathon kann ein Symbol für viele anstrengende Dinge im Leben sein. In diesen Momenten ist ein gutes Wort oder eine Tat von anderen Menschen hilfreich, um wieder Kraft oder Mut zu bekommen um weiterzumachen.

Manchmal erwartet man aber eine bestimmte Reaktion und ist enttäuscht oder verletzt, wenn sie nicht passiert. Gerade, wenn man sie gebraucht hätte. Aber nicht jeder Mensch hat das Gefühl für die passende Reaktion. Ich hoffe für mich, dass ich es immer besser und immer mehr lerne, wann der Moment richtig ist, anderen Mut zu machen und an ihrer Seite zu sein. Auch wenn es nur ein kurzer Moment ist.
Nochmal danke für deine tollen Gedanken!

19/5/2018 02:43:28 pm

Thanks Kathrin. What you describe here sounds like a great example of emotional and social intelligence and action, particularly in relation to empathy and compassion. I hope to be more like that too!

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