NICK WRIGHT
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New year resolutions

2/1/2013

13 Comments

 
​Did you make New Year resolutions this year? The new year marks a symbolic new beginning, an opportunity to leave the past behind and to create a fresh and hope-filled future. Our resolutions focus our attention and efforts on things we want to do or to change for the better. We could think of them as goals or aspirations, a chance to break a habit or to do something new.

There are principles we can draw from coaching that improve our chances of success. For example, if I focus on something that really matters to me, I’m more likely to be motivated to achieve it than if I focus on something more trivial. So I can test my goals with something like, ‘On a scale of 1-10, how important is this to me?’ or ‘What would make this really worthwhile?’

The clearer my goal is, the more likely I am to achieve it. Say, for example, if I decide to get fitter (one of my actual goals for this year), I’m more likely to do something about it if I’m more specific, e.g. I will cycle 10 miles every weekend, or 500 miles by the end of the year. I can make myself accountable by making it public and creating a visual, colourful wall chart to mark progress.

I’m also more likely to achieve it if I consider what could prevent me doing it. This is a personal reality check. What will get in the  way? What will stop me achieving it? I can ask myself questions such as ‘What got in the way when I’ve tried to do similar things in the past?’, ‘What has helped me persevere in the past?’, ‘What will I do practically to overcome obstacles this time?’

So for instance, since one of my resolutions is to get fitter by cycling, what will I do if it rains or if I’m too tired? I need to make contingency plans. ‘If it rains on the day I plan to cycle, I will swim 25 lengths at the pool instead’, or ‘If I’m too tired, I will cycle on the following day instead.’ It builds in flexibility that helps me to stay on track and avoid losing momentum.

Enlisting others to support us can make a great difference. This is one of the benefits of doing things with a peer group, people sharing similar interests or goals. Alternatively, we may find someone who is prepared to cheer us on as we make progress, challenge us if we go astray or encourage us if we start to lose heart. Seek out e.g. family, colleagues or friends – or God.

Finally, make a point of choosing motivational rewards for yourself as you achieve key milestones on route and the final goal itself. These rewards enable us to celebrate progress, are a way of pausing to notice how far we have moved on and incentivise us for the next steps. It’s about maintaining focus, energy and determination, often over a period of time. Keep on keeping on!

13 Comments
Michael link
2/1/2013 09:36:29 am

Really enjoyed the article, Nick, especially about building in contingency plans when our ideal activities are not possible. My last light-hearted blog is very related to it. You'll find it at: http://www.mhconsult.com/blogs/christmas-tale-change

Reply
Nick Wright
2/1/2013 10:06:06 am

Hi Michael and thanks for the encouraging feedback. Yes, I find that the contingency planning aspect often makes quite a difference to facing reality, at least as far as we can predict it, and addressing it before or when it happens. Thanks for sharing the link to your related blog. I liked the way you approached the challenge in such a creative way. With best wishes. Nick

Reply
Terrence Seamon
2/1/2013 09:57:58 am

Good one, Nick.

Reply
Nick Wright
2/1/2013 09:59:31 am

Thanks Terrence! Nick

Reply
Bridget
2/1/2013 11:50:46 am

Hi Nick

I used to hate New Year. The thought of making resolutions made me depressed as I remembered all the previous years that I’d made the same resolutions and failed!!

However....now I really like this time of year. Christmas is fun and it’s great to be around family but I find myself yearning for some space and reflection time, to get close to God and hear what he is saying about the coming year. New Year’s Day and the days after that are a great time to do this & only today I was taking time to process, pray and plan. So, in more recent times, New Year has been a time of gaining insight and inspiration for the future rather than getting depressed about past regrets or failures.

I love your emphasis on new hope. I especially like the contingency plan – it’s easy to be overly optimistic when starting afresh too and think we can conquer the world. A nice feeling but usually unrealistic. I like your idea of thinking about what has helped and hindered in the past so I am more prepared this time. It feels robust & intentional rather than just a bout of wishful thinking and passive dreaming which may well quickly fade with the first bit of discouragement.

I’ve heard the acronym HALT used a lot when trying to change habits, etc. It stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired – it’s a sort of red flag that at these times you definitely need a contingency plan!

I'm wondering... Do you think that this blog connects with your “courage” blog? Changing habits and making new commitments often involves taking a courageous step or decision?

"I said to the man who stood at the Gate of the Year, 'Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown'"

Enjoy the cycling, Nick!

B






Reply
Nick Wright
3/1/2013 12:44:30 am

Hi Bridget and thanks for the inspiring comments. I liked the way you reframed New Year as 'a time of gaining insight and inspiration for the future' and found your emphasis on prayer helpful.

Jesus teaches (e.g. in John's gospel) that we can't grow spiritually or achieve anything of genuine spiritual value without being rooted deeply in God. That feels like an important call and challenge.

Your reflections on past failures reminded me of the power of forgiveness in enabling us to let go and move on. This could be forgiveness from God, from others or even from ourselves.

I also liked your HALT acronym as it captures the types of situation where we are most likely to go astray or give up on our resolutions. It's something about awareness, leading to action.

I agree that some resolutions demand courage (http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2012/11/a-couragous-spirit.html). They may also call for vision, faith, imagination, self-discipline and determination.

With best wishes for 2013. Nick

Reply
Debra Parker
3/1/2013 12:55:53 am

Thanks Nick, like the contingency planning component of goal setting outlined - this is the part that is often forgotten and the downfall to achievement. Vision boards are also a crucial step - see it - achieve it.

Reply
Nick Wright
3/1/2013 01:08:08 am

Hi Debra and thanks for the note. Yes, I build the contingency aspect into coaching and workshops. E.g. 'Having looked at what would make the biggest difference, let's look at all the reasons why it won't happen in practice..!' It can be done with humour and it enables the client or group to evaluate whether its chosen actions are realistic and worth the effort, and to plan contingencies that will increase the chances of success. I too like vision boards, especially using colourful graphics that will inspire, focus and motivate. With best wishes. Nick

Reply
Funmi Johnson link
3/1/2013 02:55:53 am

Hi Nick,

Another wonderful piece. I really look forward to your posts! I've given up making New Year's resolutions because like Bridget, I kept making the same one's and breaking them by the end of January :)

This time I've gone for a personal mission statement, which is "powerfully practising my purpose, from a place of peace". Everything i plan to do, every opportunity that comes my way, will be measured against this to see if it will help me to do that or distract me. My post this week expands on this idea, would love your feedback on it. www.b2bbeautiful.blogspot.com

Have a blessed and prosperous New Year.

Reply
Bridget
3/1/2013 03:33:57 am

Hi Funmi,

Glad to hear that you are a fellow-quitter of resolutions! I like the idea of one statement guiding everything you do. It makes life much simpler which is much needed in our complex lives.

It reminds me of when I passed my driving test, eventually, after two failed attempts. My instructor simply told me to "drive safely" which I found so much more releasing than remembering "mirror, signal, manoeuvre" and all the other technicalities!

Have a great 2013!

Bridget

Reply
Nick Wright
3/1/2013 10:28:07 am

Hi Funmi and thanks for your kind and encouraging feedback (again!). I really enjoyed reading your blog, especially your emphasis on an overall personal mission, how you normally feel about planning ('lie down in a darkened room, accompanied by a very large bar of chocolate') which I can certainly relate to, your emphasis on passion and your account of learning to drive at night. It inspired me and made me smile, both at the same time. :) With many blessings in 2013. Nick

Reply
Graeme Heyes
3/1/2013 09:38:20 am

Professional
Pass onto the second year of my PhD and become published in a journal.
Help the organisation I am working with to implement at least one 'noteworthy' change in their operations.

Personal
Cycle 300km in 24 hours and raise at least £5k for charity in the process.
Run 10k in under 40 mins.
Pass a beginners Italian course.

Reply
Nick Wright
3/1/2013 09:39:17 am

Hi Graeme - impressive goals! Keep us posted on how you get on? With best wishes. Nick

Reply



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    ​Nick Wright

    ​I'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? ​Get in touch!

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