Someone just called me, ‘Nixit’. It made me smile. :) I had posted this piece (below) on Facebook as a direct and deliberate challenge to bitter vitriol, negative stereotyping and harsh demonising on social media of people who voted ‘Leave’ in the UK-EU referendum last week.
I feel a bit nervous because, with frayed tempers running high this weekend, it’s very hard to speak and be heard. I can say, however, that everyone I know who voted ‘Remain’ did so with sincere beliefs and honourable intentions. I hope some will feel able to hear me. I hope I will hear too. I voted Leave. ‘Leave voters are inward-looking.’ OK. I’ve been to France, Germany, Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, Switzerland, Lichtenstein, Austria, Italy, Albania, Yugoslavia, Czech Republic, Greece, Turkey, Lebanon, Israel, West Bank, Uganda, Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, Singapore, Australia, Canada, United States. You? ‘Leave voters are ignorant and uneducated.’ OK. I have a first degree with honours, a postgraduate diploma with distinction, a masters degree with distinction. I’m a fellow of a UK professional Institute, have had over 100 articles published in journals and have spoken at various UK and international conferences. You? ‘Leave voters are selfish.’ OK. I’m not Mother Teresa. However, I’ve worked my entire adult life with charities and international NGOs in countries including UK, Germany, Albania, Lebanon, West Bank, Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, Singapore, Australia, Canada, United States. I’ve been a lifelong supporter of numerous organisations including Amnesty International and Greenpeace. You? ‘Leave voters are right wing, xenophobic racists.’ OK. I’ve been a lifelong leftist, worked in political/human rights for Latino people in El Salvador/Central America, worked in a Palestinian hospital for Muslim children with disabilities, worked in anti-Nazi projects in Germany, taught English to Vietnamese refugees, taught East European people, worked with African people from vulnerable contexts and people from almost every country in Asia. You? ‘Leave voters are nationalistic fascists.’ I’m pro-European and pro-International; pro-refugee and pro-migration; pro-democracy and pro-human rights. Until 2 years ago, I was passionately pro-EU. I voted Leave because, among other things, I feel desperately concerned about rising nationalism across the EU and beyond which is, in my view, fuelled by EU strategy, policy and behaviour. A lot of good people disagree with me and voted Remain. Respect. A lot of good people voted Leave too. We may have more in common than we know. That is my hope.
28 Comments
Brian Casem
26/6/2016 05:54:14 pm
I am SO glad you wrote this, Nick Wright. I not only hear you; I see you, too. What you write is PERFECT in every way. Now...all the haters of your stance on "Leave" will hate you. Why? They are haters. That's what they do. Are they evil? Let me define to you what I believe is "essential" evil; what is the foundation of all evil.
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Nick Wright
26/6/2016 06:20:15 pm
Hi Brian and thank you for such warm and affirming feedback. You always have such profound and stimulating insights and ways of expressing these things!
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Brian Casem
26/6/2016 09:19:18 pm
You nailed it!
Brian Casem
26/6/2016 09:29:07 pm
Once I argued with a man of opposing view. When he could not persuade me he said, "Oh...but YOU are going to be responsible when it all goes to hell." I can not really describe the feeling I felt, but it didn't take long to turn to utter outrage and retaliation...regressed screaming, flipping the bird and walking away in a huff. Oh...by the way, this was my partner...and yea...we're still together!! LOL Just stick to freedom...there can always be made room for forgiveness...acceptance even in opposition. When I was outraged it was because I fell for the illusion...that I could possibly be responsible for the entirety of EVERYTHING WRONG. No. It's an evil trick.
Nick Wright
26/6/2016 09:37:17 pm
Beautifully said, Brian - and a real inspiration! All the best and thank you again. Nick
Gauhar Husain
26/6/2016 06:56:38 pm
Hi Nick! It is a nice article. But you know I try to look at things from different angle. I have been following this. At the moment the emotions are high, which is but natural. Further the extent of ownership to their opinion is credible. I do not want to go into the argument of who is right or who is wrong. These emotions will settle down and hopefully people will look into what they opted for and if they do so sincerely, next time they will make a better decision. Britons are one nation and it is now up to the wisdom of the leadership to steer them to calmer waters and look ahead for better future.
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Nick Wright
26/6/2016 07:00:32 pm
Thank you, Gauhar. You are a wise man. :) Yes, I agree, it is early days. People are understandably feeling strongly about things that are incredibly important to them. I too hope that things will settle down over time so that we can build positive relationships within and outside of the UK and fresh hope for the future. All the best. Nick
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Concetta Perot
27/6/2016 09:21:12 am
Posted on my FB.
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Nick Wright
27/6/2016 09:23:08 am
Thanks, Concetta - and great to hear from you after so many years. :) Let me know if you'd like to meet up in London sometime? All the best. Nick
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Ian Henderson
27/6/2016 10:21:34 am
A very well argued and balanced piece Nick. If only we would all be less judgmental of others before we get to understand their perspectives I believe this world that we inhabit for a short time would be a fairer and better place to live. I have friends and family on both sides of the EU debate, all of whom have valid opinions in my book. Does anybody have the monopoly on the 'truth of the situation'?
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Nick Wright
27/6/2016 10:37:28 am
Thanks Ian. I guess if feels difficult to be 'balanced' when we feel deeply and passionately about something that we perceive to have such massive implications for ourselves, others and the future. There were so many lies, distortions and half-truths on both sides in the lead up to the referendum that it left many people feeling confused and/or frightened.
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Hi Nick
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Nick Wright
27/6/2016 11:40:19 am
Hi Deborah and thanks for posting such an honest response. I've heard similar comments from lots of other people this weekend, many feeling afraid to speak up for fear of verbal abuse. That's one reason why I posted this blog. I can also understand something of the strong feelings of those who had voted Remain and are now frustrated or fearful of the future.
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John Whalley
27/6/2016 11:24:57 am
Kubler-Ross springs to mind plus the Chimp Paradox. Rational thought will follow. Peace and love!
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Nick Wright
27/6/2016 11:26:50 am
Hi John and thanks for the note. Yes, Kubler-Ross has been in my mind all weekend too! :) I've never heard of the Chimp Paradox but I'm intrigued. What does it mean? Yes to peace and love! All the best. Nick
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Stella Goddard BA (Hons) Registered MBACP (Accred)
27/6/2016 04:23:57 pm
Interesting thoughts John - When you say Kubler-Ross do you mean the 'Grief Cycle?' If so then yes, shock, numbness, bargaining, anger ... and eventually acceptance - of course we all know that this process is not linear.
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Stella Goddard BA (Hons) Registered MBACP (Accred)
27/6/2016 04:25:41 pm
Thank you for this article Nick - it is well reasoned and well expressed, in my opinion. I am saddened by vitriolic feelings on both sides that currently are making it nigh on impossible to have a reasoned conversation about the results of the EU referendum. Each side seems to be blaming the other. If you voted 'Leave' then apparently you're a racist and a fascist etc etc. If you voted 'Stay'... everything would be just fine. The general feeling from those who voted 'Stay' it would appear is that those who have voted Leave have caused the implosion that seems to be happening at the moment. I really do hope that we will all be able to talk to each other reasonably, calmly and respectfully even if the person we are speaking with and to has voted a different way. The situation is as it is now and all we can do is deal with the reality of that. I am glad that we have a democracy in this country - it is not so everywhere. Should we have had a referendum at this point? I really don't know I am not a politician. I do care though about the UK which is my country and about all the other people too - whatever nationality they are.
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Nick Wright
27/6/2016 04:28:51 pm
Thank you, Stella. Yes, there appears to be lots of heat and not a lot of light in the debate at the moment, partly fuelled by the media that loves a good drama in order to increase sales or ratings. Some of the predictions before the referendum caused a lot of fear. I hope that, when the dust settles and people realise that the sky hasn't fallen down, we can start to build a new vision and future together. Thanks again and all the best. Nick
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Stella Goddard BA (Hons) Registered MBACP (Accred)
27/6/2016 04:35:40 pm
Nick You are probably aware from the news that there are some questions about the 3m petition to run a 2nd referendum - apparently there are some concerns about who set this up, the number of names and whether it is genuine (can't recall just now where I read that - perhaps someone else will remember) I don't doubt though that there are many who would like us to have another referendum. I wonder too how that would impact democracy though I can and do understand the strength of feelings on both sides.
Nick Wright
27/6/2016 04:43:26 pm
Hi Stella.. Yes, I'm aware of the petition for a 2nd referendum. I can understand and empathise with the sentiment. However, in my view, the proposal and reasons I've seen that underpin it tear at the roots of liberal democracy. It begs all kinds of questions such as what it means to trust the electorate; what level of knowledge and understanding is required before a person should be considered eligible to vote; who decides which knowledge is true and relevant and whether a person has properly understood it - and its implications; what process should we use in practice to test that everyone qualifies according to whatever criteria we use above etc. And...if we did run with it...what would we do if it yielded the same result as the 1st referendum...and what impact would all the uncertainty have in the meantime on the UK-EU economies etc. Just a few thoughts..! All the best. Nick
There was a good article I read somewhere (FT I think) that also talked about the economic impact in the UK and how that was also leaving people with 'historic' roles feeling similarly disenfranchised; and some of the post vote behaviour is playing straight into that space. Out voters are stupid, uneducated, ignorant etc.
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Nick Wright
27/6/2016 05:07:50 pm
Thanks Adrian. I think that's such an important point. When we think about 'where the problem lies in society' politicians and media often point the proverbial finger at the disgruntled who feel marginalised and call them ignorant, racist etc. It's as if the 'problem' is located in the individual who doesn't support or identify with the mainstream, powerful or vocal voices, rather than looking systemically at what leaves people feeling and becoming marginalised in the first place. The flipside is to ask 'where the hope lies in society' and we may discover it's in the same people, if we are willing to listen and include. All the best. Nick
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Julian Srodecki
27/6/2016 05:10:51 pm
I Nick I think that a big thing for us to look at is not what Leave voters are or are not, but why did they vote Leave and what kind of a mandate is there to do what should happen next. Leave voters were a mixed coalition of interests that are not be compatible. Individuals may have voted leave as a positive statement of what should happen next. However as a group the only thing that they have in common is wanting to leave not what they want to leave too. It is also distressing to see how some key things that people were voting leave for have already been disowned by key figures in that campaign. (E.g. curbs on migration, more money for the NHS etc). As we move forward in the UK in the coming months it seems to me that currently no one has a mandate to say what will happen next. How we ensure that who ever takes next steps does have a democratic mandate is a minefield that will be an interesting challenge going forwards. We need people to support and vote for a vision that comes next - currently this is lacking. Wether this is via a general election, a new referendum or something else I do not know.
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Nick Wright
27/6/2016 05:33:21 pm
Hi Julian and thanks for the note. I think that's true that people will have voted Leave for all kinds of reasons. I believe that's the same for people who voted Remain too. I guess that's the same in any open democratic process, including a general election. People will coalesce around a common vision, idea or concern, especially since options are necessarily limited (e.g. between X, Y or Z political party or between Remain or Leave).
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Rob
27/6/2016 05:45:16 pm
Nick, I can really relate to this. I'm interested to know what your concerns are with the current EU approach.
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Nick Wright
27/6/2016 10:04:06 pm
Thanks Rob. This is a summary of my concerns about EU strategy and policy. It's complex, based on years of working in international and organisational systems, but I'll give it a go:
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Alex Swarbrick
8/10/2020 03:36:47 pm
Nick, it looks like you and I were inspired by similar factors. I too think of myself as “..pro-European and pro-International; pro-refugee and pro-migration; pro-democracy and pro-human rights.” I too “feel desperately concerned about rising nationalism across the EU and beyond…” and for all those reasons felt I had to vote ‘remain’.
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Nick Wright
8/10/2020 05:25:27 pm
Hi Alex and thank you for presenting such a thoughtful, personal counter-perspective and counter-stance. It struck me how we have shared some similar life experiences, looked on the same complex scenarios with similar passions and concerns, and drawn different conclusions on what best do to in response.
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Nick WrightI'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? Get in touch! Like what you read? Simply enter your email address below to receive regular blog updates!
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