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Non-directive

6/8/2021

28 Comments

 
‘A skilful, patient process of walking people to their own conclusions.’ (David Brooks)

I liked Claire Pedrick’s definition of coaching from David Brooks (above). It resonates well with Henrick Adams’ citation from Alexandra Trenfor on teaching: ‘The best teachers are those who show you where to look but don’t tell you what to see.’ That, in turn, reminds me of Tony Jeffs and Mark Smiths’ quotation from Bill Rosseter on the goal of education: ‘It’s about moving on in some way from point A, not necessarily to point B or C, but to some position beyond A.’ Madge and Tom Batten, community development pioneers, coined the phrase ‘the non-directive approach’.

Some years ago, I had the privilege of learning non-directive group facilitation alongside Catherine Widdicombe, author of Meetings that Work, co-leader of AVEC (‘with’) and a keen disciple of the Battens in this area. I use the word alongside deliberately because Catherine insisted on working-with, enabling and facilitating as the optimal route to developing my – and others’ – confidence, insights and skills. Her expertise lay in drawing out, encouraging experimentation and eliciting discovery rather than simply imparting her own acquired knowledge to passive recipients.

In later years, I trained in non-directive supervision and coaching, both of which reflect a process of working with an individual or team developmentally, often enabling and enhancing critical reflexivity and critical reflective practice. Subsequently, I trained in action learning, a form of peer-coaching in groups that draws on the same fundamental ethos and principles: an opportunity to pose and receive Socratic-type questions that enable a person to move on – with greater depth or breadth – in her or his thinking and practice. It’s as much about growing in wisdom as reaching solutions.

I often see Jesus using this approach in the gospels of the New Testament: evoking, provoking, revealing and releasing. I also see sports coaches, inspired by Timothy Gallwey’s The Inner Game, using it to great effect. When have you used a non-directive approach? How did you do it in practice? What impact did it have?
28 Comments
Mandy Worrall
7/8/2021 02:36:46 am

I do this as a hypnotist.

Reply
Nick Wright
7/8/2021 02:38:08 am

Hi Mandy. I’m intrigued. Can you say more..?

Reply
Mandy Worrall
7/8/2021 03:22:27 am

Hi Nick, I use solution focused neo Ericksonian strategic psychotherapy and clinical hypnosis. Essentially, we know that hearing common sense always sounds great, but until that Aha! Moment is personally experienced by the client, the conscious mind can brush things off, not own it and continue unconsciously engaging in cognitive dissonance. Permissive, non judgmental quantum language, rather than authoritarian language allows the client a choice.

Nick Wright
7/8/2021 03:48:24 am

Thanks Mandy. I have to confess that I have no idea what 'solution focused neo Ericksonian strategic psychotherapy' or 'quantum language' are! Do you have any examples you could share here to help me picture what they look like in practice?

I really like your reflection on a personal experience of an 'Aha!' moment. It's so different to passively accepting an idea in principle. In coaching, I often see that moment in a client's eyes, or in a shift in posture, that signals an insight or a shift in stance.

Mandy Worrall
7/8/2021 12:59:25 pm

Nick, ‘I don’t know how you are deciding to be more proactive, but you can do that now, or later, can you not?'

;)

Nick Wright
7/8/2021 12:59:57 pm

Erm…I don’t understand! 🤭

Mandy Worrall
7/8/2021 01:01:53 pm

Nick, it’s quantum language. Here’s what it means:

I don’t know how you are deciding - means the client is already actively deciding on their own process of deliberation about a subject such as proactivity. Permission - you can do that now, or later - means the client’s decision will be enacted beneficially at some point.
Can you not? - This is a question with a negative, but as the human brain doesn’t deal well with/process ‘not’, it is a counter intuitive question that is a question about whether they can. Again, permissive.

Nick Wright
8/8/2021 10:48:26 am

Hi Mandy and thanks for offering further explanation. I still don't think I've quite grasped it...but you have definitely sparked my interest! Are there any further learning resources you could point me to in this area?

Anne McGuire AMInstLM
8/8/2021 10:49:58 am

Promotes ownership - drives clarity - motivates action.

Reply
Nick Wright
8/8/2021 10:50:53 am

Hi Anne. Nicely - and succinctly - put. Do you have an example from experience you could share here?

Reply
Rev Dr Sally Nash
9/8/2021 08:46:42 am

Read most of what you have referenced and may add the Godly Play style wondering questions as an indirect approach, or at least how I have seen them used and tried them in my own reflections. Thanks for sharing.

Reply
Nick Wright
9/8/2021 09:54:13 am

Hi Sally. Thank you so much for pointing me to the Godly Play wondering questions. I hadn't heard of Godly Play before but have just had a glance at the Godly Play UK website (https://www.godlyplay.uk/) and found its approach fascinating.

I also found some useful Godly Play guidelines for wondering at: https://www.fgcquaker.org/sites/default/files/attachments/Guidelines%20for%20Wondering%20with%20Children%20in%20Godly%20Play_Gibson.pdf

On this theme, you may find this short related piece interesting, using a similar approach with adults? Learning to wonder: https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/learning-to-wonder

Reply
Rev Dr Sally Nash
10/8/2021 09:22:21 pm

Nick, that looks interesting, thanks. Here's a link to a brief article on how I used them in relation to shame, one of my specialist areas: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/shame-questions-we-ask-sally-nash-phd

Nick Wright
10/8/2021 09:28:12 pm

Hi Sally. Thank you for sharing such profound insights and reflections in this area. I particularly liked your reference to Bonhoeffer: 'we should not speak without taking into account the relationship within which the dialogue is taking place.' It reminded me of Jesus, depicted in John's gospel in the New Testament as full of grace and truth.

Ian Henderson
9/8/2021 12:13:33 pm

Nick, I love the idea that ‘The best teachers are those who show you where to look but don’t tell you what to see.’ I'd like to think that I have used that approach over the years.

Reply
Nick Wright
10/8/2021 09:20:12 pm

Hi Ian. It's certainly consistent with what I have observed in your training..! :)

Reply
Ian Henderson
12/8/2021 01:49:02 pm

That's nice to know, Nick. Thank you.

Nick Wright
12/8/2021 01:49:34 pm

Hi Ian. You're welcome - and keep up the good work.

Sue Jackson
11/8/2021 12:34:39 pm

Hi Nick, thanks for the question. There are a variety of ways a non-directive approach takes shape; a collaborative presence, connecting in nature and mindful, empowering silence (empowerment we identified in our book as having 3 pillars -awareness, information and learning) which is often a very profound experience for the client and can lead to authentic, embodied action.

Reply
Nick Wright
11/8/2021 12:36:57 pm

Thanks Sue. Would you be happy to share the title of your book...and do you have any examples of the principles you have shared that could show what it looks like in practice?

Reply
Sue Jackson
12/8/2021 08:47:39 pm

Hi Nick. The book is Empowerment in Health and Wellness https://www.panomapress.com/9781784529291/empowerment-in-health-and-wellness/
which is available from a range of bookshops and on Amazon. In the book the authors (12 of us) give examples of empowerment in practice. If you'd like anything further, please ask and thanks for your support in sharing this. Sue

Nick Wright
12/8/2021 08:48:18 pm

Thanks Sue. That looks interesting. You're welcome!

Suzanne Kellner-Zinck
12/8/2021 01:51:24 pm

It is always better when the patient/client is able to reframe their situations on their own - it has a much deeper meaning to them and therefore larger impact on growth. However, there are also times when helping a person to learn new ways of interacting with people, and other life skills are not only helpful, they are most appreciated - and for the great majority of my clients this is the aspect of our work together that they most appreciate - real tools and techniques to navigate their lives in a much healthier and happier manner.

Reply
Nick Wright
12/8/2021 08:43:51 pm

Thanks Suzanne. I really liked the way you framed: 'It is always better when the patient/client is able to reframe their situations on their own...' I'm curious - do you have any examples you could share of how you have used a non-directive approach to, say, introduce tools and techniques?

Reply
Dr. Elaine Rose
12/8/2021 08:49:12 pm

Nick, what you say resonates with me. We tend to mimic what others do or say. Guiding people to resources and making sure they have the necessary tools to find and do what they want or need is what I consider the keys to leadership and coaching.

Reply
Nick Wright
12/8/2021 08:52:01 pm

Thank you, Elaine. I'm intrigued - do you have any examples that you could share that illustrate how to 'guide people to resources and make sure they have the necessary tools' - non-directively?

Reply
Trevagh Stankard
15/8/2021 12:01:26 am

Just read it - it's a good read and brilliant techniques - thanks for sharing.

Reply
Nick Wright
15/8/2021 12:02:45 am

Thank you for the encouraging feedback, Trevagh. You’re welcome. 😃

Reply



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    ​Nick Wright

    ​I'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? ​Get in touch!

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