NICK WRIGHT
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One extreme to the other

17/12/2015

26 Comments

 
​Do your conversations ever feel dull, pedestrian? Do you find yourselves reaching agreement quickly but sense there’s a lack of inspiration, depth or stretch to what you’ve decided? There’s an idea in Gestalt coaching that involves experimenting with polarities. When exploring an issue or when people can’t think of useful options, try introducing opposite extremes.

I met with a leadership team this morning to look at talent management. Rather than opening with a proposal, a colleague and I sat at opposite ends of the table and role played a conversation in which each of us argued passionately for radically contrasting approaches. We invited the team to listen, to feel, to see what it evoked for as we played out the different scenarios.

Claire Pedrick uses a technique that involves opening the arms out wide to signify a polarity. ‘Let’s imagine this extreme (looking to one hand) involves doing nothing. Let’s imagine this extreme (looking at the other hand) is the ‘nuclear option’. What would the nuclear option involve doing in practice? Now let’s explore other options that lie in the space between.’

I sometimes use a polarities technique in leadership workshops. For example, if exploring directive vs non-directive approaches, I may walk an imaginary line across the room and explain at each end what that extreme represents. I then invite the group to stand along the line. ‘Where do you find yourself most of the time?’, ‘Where you would like to be?’

When using physicality like this, it can be very powerful to ‘do it’ rather than ‘imagine it’. So, if the group is standing along a line as above, I will invite them to move physically to where they want to be, rather than just talk about it. Then, ‘How are you feeling as you stand there?’, ‘What do you notice about where others are standing?’, ‘Have a conversation – where you are now.’

Another polarity technique is great for exploring the merits and risks of a proposal. Using a flipchart, I will start by inviting the group to brainstorm all the positive benefits. I will then use another flipchart and invite the group to brainstorm all the reasons why it won’t work. I use a final chart to brainstorm, ‘So, in light of that…what would it take to make it work?’
​
The benefits of polarising in ways such as these can include: stretching the imagination, discovering new/radical ideas, surfacing diverse views and feelings, experimenting with courage, testing different experiences and approaches, releasing fresh insight and energy. If you have worked with polarities, I’d love to hear from you. What did you do? What happened?

26 Comments
Steve Lee
17/12/2015 10:45:32 pm

Great post!

Reply
Nick Wright
17/12/2015 10:46:13 pm

Thanks Steve! :)

Reply
Mark Pybus
18/12/2015 09:22:01 am

Great post!

Reply
Nick Wright
18/12/2015 09:22:41 am

Thanks Mark! :)

Reply
Andrea Pink GAICD
18/12/2015 09:28:09 am

Nick. thanks for the blog. Loved it.

Another facilitation option that resonates with your idea of Polarities, is borrowed from Personal Construct Psychology. You ask the person you are working with to list a range of people, alike and different to themselves. You can even include "Ideal Self" or "Your Arch Nemesis". Write one each on card.

Then you get them to randomly select three of the "people cards" and group them.. Two alike, one different. Then you can ask.. what would the "alike" people do here and what would the "different" person do.

Keep cycling till you have generated enough thoughts to get moving with!

Reply
Nick Wright
18/12/2015 09:32:21 am

Hi Andrea and thanks for the encouraging feedback! I really like the idea of using cards and creative imagination in that way. It taps into tacit knowledge and awareness (including projections) and brings them to the surface so that that they can be drawn upon to elicit new ideas. Thanks for sharing. All the best. Nick

Reply
Kathleen M Vaughan MA ACC
22/12/2015 10:53:28 am

Sounds like a great technique to try!

Reply
Nick Wright
22/12/2015 10:54:37 am

Thanks Kathleen. Let me know how you get on! :) All the best. Nick

Reply
Amanda Lamont
22/12/2015 10:55:37 am

Great post!

Reply
Nick Wright
22/12/2015 10:55:57 am

Thanks Amanda! All the best. Nick

Reply
Tara Nolan PCC
22/12/2015 11:26:32 am

As a gestalt coach I use this practice and awareness opening process a lot with clients. They can immediately see they have more options open to explore and access to more of who they already are!

Reply
Nick Wright
22/12/2015 11:28:46 am

Thanks Tara. Yes, I first discovered this approach whilst taking part in a Gestalt coaching programme. We practised with physically acting out polarities (i.e. rather than discussing or imagining them) and the results were profound and impactful. All the best. Nick

Reply
Kathleen M Vaughan MA ACC
22/12/2015 12:52:08 pm

Nick and Tara, is there a good piece of reading that could accompany a peer coach learning session on this?

Reply
Nick Wright
22/12/2015 01:00:02 pm

Hi Kathleen. I can't think of a specific text off hand but it would be worth doing a Google search under 'Gestalt polarities' or 'Working with polarities'. Alternatively, you could practise using polarities in the peer coaching learning session. There's something about 'doing it' - an experiment - that feels very different to thinking about it. See what happens! Let me know how you get on. All the best. Nick

Reply
Jim Cooper
24/12/2015 12:52:19 pm

There is a very useful book on this topic, Polarity Management: Identifying and Managing Unsolvable Problems (http://tinyurl.com/pggx5ep) I like to use the idea to challenge the idea that there is a "right" answer to every issue.

Reply
Nick Wright
24/12/2015 12:56:28 pm

Hi Jim and thanks for the note and the book reference. I used an idea from that book earlier this year when two teams I worked with found themselves taking apparently diametrically-opposing views on an issue. It helped them to find a new position from which they could work together more effectively. Thanks for the reminder! With best wishes. Nick

Reply
Laurie Fitzpatrick
24/12/2015 12:58:05 pm

At GISC we work with polarities a great deal, especially when identifying well-developed competencies as well as those less-developed areas many clients wish to go to. Learning to help the client really appreciate their well developed polarity and how it serves them (even though they might wish to change it), opens them to learning and movement along that "imaginary line" toward where they want to be. In early 2016 GISC will be releasing a 3-hour ICF-certified blended-learning program on Polarities in Coaching (video+live teleconference), led by Mary Anne Walk, MCC and Stuart Simon, PCC. A fantastic, useful approach to working with polarities! http://www.gisc.org/practitioners/

Reply
Nick Wright
24/12/2015 12:59:48 pm

Hi Laurie. Intriguing! I'd love to hear a bit more about what 'help the client really appreciate their well developed polarity and how it serves them' could look like in practice. Do you have a practical example that you would be happy to share? With thanks and best wishes. Nick

Reply
Vince Lunetta
24/12/2015 06:19:20 pm

Nick, "On the one hand we can see a solution and on the other are many challenges that prevent us from..." is an example of polarity that I use. This tactic works all the time to help people move! Your invite "to stand in line" is a great tool that I'll add again to my work! It helps others relate to people in a new non-threatening way.

Reply
Nick Wright
24/12/2015 06:23:12 pm

Hi Vince and thanks for the note. I like the question you pose. Anything that helps surface apparent 'opposites' at the extremes can bring fresh options between the extremes into view. I find there's something about physically enacting polarities that can bring things into awareness experientially. It can be far more powerful than discussing them. With best wishes - and Merry Christmas! Nick

Reply
Cathy Singleton
27/12/2015 09:19:58 am

Thanks everyone! I regularly have these conversations with coaching clients, and this conversation has given me a couple of ideas about how to physicalise this conversation in a group workshop context.

Reply
Nick Wright
27/12/2015 09:21:48 am

That's great, Cathy. Will be interested to hear what you try and what happens! All the best. Nick

Reply
Lakshmidevi
28/1/2016 06:53:48 am

Dear Nick, great post.
Like the way how you related it to physically being present there.

I resonated this with dance. We sit and look at something which looks simple and when we actually do it, makes all the difference.

Have a lot of co-relation between "Dance & OD" from chaos to stillness. Will blog about it soon!

Regards,
Lakshmi

Reply
Nick Wright
3/3/2016 09:34:22 pm

Hi Lakshmi and thanks for the encouraging feedback. I would love to read your blog on 'Dance and OD'. I hope you will post the link! All the best. Nick

Reply
Ian Jenner
3/3/2016 09:31:28 pm

Enjoyed the post thank you... Jane Kise is taking this further take a look at..http://www.bapt.org.uk/11-april-intentional-leadership.html

Reply
Nick Wright
3/3/2016 09:32:25 pm

Hi Ian. Thanks for the note and for sharing the useful reference. All the best. Nick

Reply



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    ​Nick Wright

    ​I'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? ​Get in touch!

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