‘The only exercise some people get is jumping to conclusions.’ (Hal Elrod) A recurring theme in psychological coaching/OD is that of enabling a person or a team to grow in awareness of what they are believing, assuming, hypothesising or concluding. This could be about, for instance, themselves, another person, a relationship or a situation. In Yannick Jacob’s words, ‘Human beings are meaning-making machines’ (An Introduction to Existential Coaching, 2019). We are wired to see things as complete wholes and, where there are gaps, to fill them subconsciously – and therefore, by definition, without noticing we are doing it. This reflects a core concept in Gestalt psychology; where you may be familiar with, say, an image of black shapes on a white background that viewers typically see as a ‘panda’. This assumes, of course, that the person seeing the image already has an idea of panda in mind – i.e. what a panda looks like. We join the dots or, in this case the shapes, to create something that we already know. In doing so, we superimpose meaning onto the image and, at the same time, exclude alternative interpretations. It’s as if, to us, if the image is self-evidently that of a panda. Full stop. This panda-perceiving phenomenon can help us to understand how we, as individuals and as cultural groups, construe our ideas of reality at work. Drawing on limited data, we fill-in any gaps (e.g. with our own hopes, anxieties or expectations) to create what looks and feels, to us, like a complete understanding of a situation. Yet, in Geoff Pelham’s words, ‘The facts never speak for themselves’ (The Coaching Relationship in Practice, 2015). If we enable a person or a team to revisit the gaps and to hold their hypotheses lightly, fresh insights and opportunities can arise. First, pay attention to how a person is feeling, or the mood in a team. Acknowledge the emotion without necessarily seeking to change or to resolve it. Instead, invite a spirit of curiosity, a desire for discovery. Next, facilitate a process of critically-reflexive exploration: e.g. of what meaning they are making of their experience; of what needs it reveals; of what strategies they are using to address them. Now, offer support and challenge to test assumptions, stretch boundaries, shift a stance. Be prayerful and playful. Release the panda to emerge as something new.
28 Comments
Richard Simpson
15/11/2020 10:05:33 am
As ever, a very thought provoking blog, Nick. It seemed particularly pertinent given the death a couple of days ago of the UK serial killer, the so-called Yorkshire Ripper and how the police investigation was hobbled from the outset by a mass of unconscious assumptions about the victims and a fatal distraction which put them off the scent of the real killer for 18 months. Hopefully the police are more critically aware nowadays. It also reminded me of my interest in anthropology and the role culture plays in our interpretation and understanding of the world. I was once told about a missionary in South Africa reading a synopsis of Hamlet to Zulus. When he asked them what they thought the story was about they unanimously agreed it was about witchcraft. I love that story precisely because it challenges my own culture's preconceptions.
Reply
Nick Wright
16/11/2020 11:26:30 am
Thank you for such encouraging feedback, Richard. I do appreciate it.
Reply
Ryan Haylock
16/11/2020 12:50:00 pm
Thanks Nick. A very good article. You’ll be pleased to know that this way of thinking is becoming ingrained into my DNA and I’m learning to be curious rather than jumping to conclusions that match my view of the world - and the situation.
Reply
Nick Wright
16/11/2020 01:46:05 pm
Thank you, Ryan. That's good to hear. :) In my experience, it can be difficult to know what we're assuming until, say, working with a coach - or encountering a very different culture where things look and feel strange. On the curiosity theme, you may find this short related piece interesting? http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/curiosity
Reply
Ryan Haylock
16/11/2020 04:21:27 pm
Another great article - thanks Nick.
Nick Wright
17/11/2020 04:51:49 am
Thanks Ryan! 😃
Ian Henderson
16/11/2020 04:15:29 pm
I'm sharing that one Nick - thanks old mate!
Reply
Nick Wright
16/11/2020 04:17:02 pm
Thanks for sharing, Ian! I’m pleased you found it useful. 😃
Reply
Bob Larcher
26/11/2020 03:26:30 pm
Love the quote, Nick.
Reply
Nick Wright
26/11/2020 03:27:09 pm
Thanks Bob. 😃
Reply
Lana Wildman
26/11/2020 03:28:39 pm
I agree that it's important to acknowledge them where they are before trying to widen the view. Otherwise, you're likely to end up with resistance. Good stuff, Nick - thanks!
Reply
Nick Wright
26/11/2020 03:31:18 pm
Thanks for the encouraging feedback, Lana. Yes, I try to remember this principle: Empathy before Understanding or Analysis. I'm not always good at remembering to do it though!
Reply
John Lodder
26/11/2020 09:13:08 pm
The only way some of us exercise our minds, is by jumping to conclusions. I use this quote from the writer Cullen Hightower since some 15 years in my workshops and it is a great one 'to break the ice'. 😊
Reply
Nick Wright
26/11/2020 09:15:38 pm
Hi John. It sounds like Hal Elrod and Cullen Hightower were working off the same page! Do you have any examples you could share from your workshops' experience, of how you enable people to move beyond jumping to conclusions?
Reply
John Lodder
30/11/2020 12:56:58 pm
“You can make a first impression only once”.
Nick Wright
30/11/2020 01:02:13 pm
Thanks John. I like your ice breaker idea. I sometimes use a similar activity at the start of a workshop, inviting participants to guess the answers to 5 questions about me. I pose the questions to the group, one at a time (e.g. 'Which newspaper to I read?', 'Which political party do I vote for?'), then ask them to draw an emoticon-type face beside each answer that indicates whether their answer draws them towards me, or pushes them away from me. It's a fascinating (and often entertaining) way to surface first impressions, assumptions and associated feelings/responses.
Joshua Freedman
26/11/2020 09:17:03 pm
This is an excellent example and well explained - our brains love certainty... and some “I assume” and “I know” conflate.
Reply
Nick Wright
26/11/2020 09:21:08 pm
Thank you for such affirming feedback, Joshua. Yes indeed. There are some interesting insights in cognitive-behavioural psychology, about how when feeling anxious or stressed, we are more likely to experience 'cognitive distortions' - that will, at the time, appear real and true to us. It's one of the reasons why listening and empathy can be so powerful, allowing a person to relax enough to be able to think differently.
Reply
Pramila Thapa, RN, BSN, B.Ed, M.Sc Nursing, MPA.
27/11/2020 09:39:27 am
Thanks for sharing! It would be good & better if a team develop awareness what they think, respond and make a conclusion. if we can greater with something worthwhile, with beauty, with truth, with belief, with knowledge. experiences give strength, confidence, and understanding.
Reply
Nick Wright
27/11/2020 09:45:15 am
Thank you, Pramila. You're welcome! I think you expressed that beautifully. Here's a short related piece that may be of interest? It responds to the question of how to raise this kind of awareness with individuals, teams and groups: https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/spots
Reply
Pramila Thapa, RN, BSN, B.Ed, M.Sc Nursing, MPA.
27/11/2020 01:51:40 pm
We all can show our uniqueness in our workplace. There are many factors that can help guide us. Talking about myself, sometimes I encounter instances where I feel unaware or overwhelmed while I am interacting with my colleagues and boss which doesn't allow me to achieve good results and I get frustrated about what I could have done to arrive at something better. If I experience such scenarios, usually I take time or postpone a decision. At the same time, I also search for peaceful and calm areas where I can get refreshed and cool down. Then I think deeply about the decision by myself and ask the people i trust before finalizing my decision.
Nick Wright
27/11/2020 02:00:13 pm
Hi Pramila. Thank you for sharing personally from experience. Those sound like great coping strategies, that enable you to address a situation constructively and in the way that you would want to. On a sense of risk of feeling overwhelmed, there are some resonances in this short piece: https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/catharsis
Alisa Kawase
17/12/2020 10:44:41 am
Wonderful and deep post Nick! I do agree that as a humans we do live in our present and future bubble based on our past experiences and background. And this is what exactly prevent a lot of people to open a door in their mind, and go outside to look for "unknown" which new people, new opportunities, new ideas and new perspective in life. Life has a lot to offer, yet we are too blind and scared in mind to go and go for it. Thank you for your post!
Reply
Nick Wright
17/12/2020 11:31:56 am
Hi Alisa - and thank you for such affirming feedback! On the theme of 'blind and scared', you may find this short related piece interesting? https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/spots
Reply
Alisa Kawase
17/12/2020 11:33:41 am
Thank you a lot, will have a check!
Nick Wright
17/12/2020 11:34:25 am
You're welcome, Alisa. Let me know what you think?
Yildiz Sethi
17/12/2020 10:52:06 am
Very funny and true. Consideration and thinking deeply are going out of fashion in some areas. Not so here it seems? You may be interested in reading my article of the problem with some of our good intentions in mental health
Reply
Nick Wright
17/12/2020 10:54:48 am
Hi Yildiz. Thank you for sharing the link to your article. There are some strong resonances in what you wrote with a short piece I wrote for the UK's BACP last year that you may find interesting? https://www.nick-wright.com/turning-point.html
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
Nick WrightI'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? Get in touch! Like what you read? Simply enter your email address below to receive regular blog updates!
|