NICK WRIGHT
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Perception

17/1/2019

44 Comments

 
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‘My English is terrible,’ he said, despondently, in near-perfect English. ‘I feel like I’m going backwards rather than improving.’ This recent, brief conversation with an asylum-seeker student typified a phenomenon that leaders, coaches and trainers often encounter in people and groups. A German social worker friend describes it as: ‘Eine Frage der Wahrnehmung’, which is, translated, ‘A question of perception.’ It’s something about perspective, belief what we notice and how we construe it.

In this vein, Dr. Terrence Maltbia commented astutely in a LinkedIn post this week that coaching and facilitation are ‘as much about mind-sets as skill-sets.’ This student (above) was far more competent, more skilful, than he realised. Yet his own assessment of his performance affected his confidence badly. This, in turn, affected his emotional state and what he believed himself capable of doing. The immediate coaching challenge was, therefore, to address his mind-set, not his language skills.

I asked and gestured: ‘Imagine a box. The box contains everything you know in English. How big was the box when you arrived in the UK?’ He gestured the shape and size of a tiny box. ‘And now..?’ He gestured a significantly larger box. ‘And so..?’. A wide smile broke out on his face. He sat up straight and his voice became stronger as he spoke: more confident, able and hopeful. In that moment, his perspective had changed and everything had changed with it. Eine Frage der Wahrnehmung.

Why is this important? A person’s performance at work can be regarded as a dynamic product of 4xCs: commitment, competence, confidence and credibility. Commitment: what we are willing to do; competence: what we are able to do; confidence: what we believe about ourselves; credibility: what others believe about us. In my experience, confidence is a critical recurring factor in enhancing or inhibiting a person’s effectiveness. So, I’m curious: how do you enable a change in perception?
44 Comments
Gabriella Kovacs ACC
17/1/2019 09:43:20 pm

As a language coach, using scaling can often support positive perception change, also many other tools. Asking clients to actively get feedback from their network on their target language as perceived by members of the network proves useful too.

Reply
Nick Wright
17/1/2019 09:47:13 pm

Hi Gabriella. That sounds fascinating. Do you have any examples you could share here?

It reminds me of the value of asking stakeholder feedback, not just in terms of 'What am I doing well?' or 'What could I improve?', but 'On a scale of 1-10, how well am I doing?'

This type of scaling question provides a sense of perspective and can open other scaling-related questions such as, 'OK, you rated me at 6. What would it take to move it up to a 7?'

Reply
Osvaldo Torres Cruz
17/1/2019 09:50:02 pm

Good point. Unfortunately some leaders are not interested enough in their followers' perception about the vision and mission of the company.

Reply
Nick Wright
17/1/2019 09:52:39 pm

Thanks Osvaldo. Interesting point. I'm curious - why do you think they are not interested? Is that something about their own perception of what is most important (or not important) too?

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Martine Bolton
17/1/2019 11:57:51 pm

Great article Nick, as always 🙂. I like to ask questions such as "Is there another way of looking at this?"; "How might (XXXXXXX) perceive this situation?"; "How might past experience be influencing your perception?" and so on.

Reply
Nick Wright
18/1/2019 12:01:48 am

Thanks Martine. :) 'How might X perceive this?' reminds me of the SOGI model - to invite a client to perceive (by imagination) e.g. a goal, situation, issue or relationship from the perspective of Society (or stakeholders); Organisation; Group (or team) and Individual (or other key individuals) - and to see what fresh insight that reveals.

Reply
Richard M. Kiernicki
18/1/2019 12:03:05 am

...i'd like to add "ask better questions"...dig deeper...and listen...

Reply
Nick Wright
18/1/2019 12:04:13 am

Hi Richard. Do you have any examples of 'better questions' you could share here...perhaps questions that clients have found most useful?

Reply
Richard M. Kiernicki
18/1/2019 03:03:35 pm

...Hi Nick...sure...for example...many of my prospects/clients/advisors have a tendency to answer questions in a manner that identifies an opinion versus a fact or an objection...so instead of trying to "educate" I will ask " Why do you believe or think that way about...?...

Nick Wright
18/1/2019 03:08:06 pm

Thanks Richard. You may find this related short piece interesting..? http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/good-question

Sara J. Sanderson
18/1/2019 12:05:20 am

Everything is perception even who you think you are. When you recognise that your world changes!

Reply
Nick Wright
18/1/2019 12:08:01 am

Hi Sara. That perspective resonates well with social constructionism. Are you familiar with it? It also resonates well with an insight from Tony Clark that I share here: http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/perception

Reply
Rami Harb
18/1/2019 12:09:27 am

I was looking for this for a while now... excellent explanation ... and the 4Cs are the core of it.

Reply
Nick Wright
18/1/2019 12:09:53 am

Hi Rami. Thank you for such encouraging feedback!

Reply
Bob Larcher
18/1/2019 10:42:02 am

I’m a great fan of questions, Socrates’ (no less) reputation was built around his ability to ask questions
There are questions for aiding clarification:
Could you put that another way?
Let me see if I understand you: do you mean X or Y?
How does this relate to our discussion/problem/issue?
There are uestions that probe assumptions:
What are you assuming?
What is Karen assuming?
What could we assume instead?
There are questions that probe reasons and evidence:
Could you explain your reasons to us?
Is there reason to doubt that evidence?
What led you to that belief?
There are questions about viewpoints or perspectives:
How would other groups/types of people respond? Why? What would influence them?
Can/did anyone see this another way?
What would someone who disagrees say?
There are questions that probe implications and conséquences:
What are you implying by that?
What effect would that have?
Would that necessarily happen or only probably happen?
There are even questions about the question:
Do we all agree that this is the question?
Can we break this question down at all?
What does this question assume?

Reply
Nick Wright
18/1/2019 10:52:59 am

Hi Bob. Thanks for such a detailed response! You reminded me of John Heron's '6 Category Intervention Analysis' that identifies different modes of intervention with a client or group, available to a leader, trainer, facilitator, mentor or coach etc: prescriptive; informative; confronting; cathartic; catalytic; supportive. Are you familiar with it?

Reply
Bob Larcher
18/1/2019 12:40:48 pm

No, not familiar with "John Heron's '6 Category Intervention Analysis", at least not as far as I am aware.
I'll Google it!

Nick Wright
18/1/2019 12:42:42 pm

Hi Bob. Heron's book, 'Helping the Client' (2001) is worth a glance. It explains each of the intervention categories in turn and provides examples of what they could look (and feel) like and involve in practice.

Bob Larcher
19/1/2019 12:21:25 pm

This post might add some ideas: https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6492361694696738816

Nick Wright
19/1/2019 12:22:44 pm

Thanks Bob. It reminds me of cognitive-behavioural psychology.

Bob Larcher
19/1/2019 02:35:04 pm

Our thoughts clearly have an impact on our feelings and our behaviour.

Nick Wright
19/1/2019 02:35:53 pm

Hi Bob. As do our feelings and behaviour on our thoughts etc..!

Bob Larcher
19/1/2019 05:43:17 pm

Hence the notion of "vicious" and "virtuous" circles.

Nick Wright
19/1/2019 05:43:30 pm

Absolutely.

Matthew Harris
18/1/2019 10:55:08 am

Hi NIck,
Your article reminds me of a time during my student placement year, I was working in the weee small hours and listening to some random radio chat.
A chaps wife was in hospital and he had brought a small plain box in. He described the box then asked all his listeners (approx 20,000) to visualise the box and spend 10 seconds placing positive, get well thoughts / emotions into that box.
The husband then took that box to his wife in the hospital and explained to her what was in the box..
What did that box mean to the lady and is that box still in use?

Reply
Nick Wright
18/1/2019 11:02:20 am

Thanks Matthew. What an intriguing story!! I love your evocative question at the end too. :) It opens up all kinds of interesting questions about social-psychological dimensions to health, wellbeing and healing.

You may find this related-ish short piece interesting? It received some fascinating responses! http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/disrupt

Reply
Matthew Harris
18/1/2019 12:43:56 pm

Thanks Nick, I'll check out your link... Have a good weekend.

Nick Wright
18/1/2019 12:44:16 pm

Thanks Matthew. You too!

Suze Gurmeseva Assoc CIPD
18/1/2019 11:02:56 am

Thank you for the article. I would love to see comments from change experts...

Reply
Nick Wright
18/1/2019 11:03:44 am

Thanks Suze. I would love to hear your thoughts too..! :)

Reply
Suze Gurmeseva Assoc CIPD
19/1/2019 12:17:06 pm

Nick, to be honest I was thinking hard about your ending question and thought the answer is not very straight forward. Depending on the situation I would say, some perspectives require more time than others. It also depends on the person that is in question. Some people might be quick to see the bigger picture and respond with changing or adjusting their attitudes towards the given situation. While others will be so set in their ways that would require a lot of time and effort.

For example most of the perspectives we have on life in general have already been set deep within our psyche since childhood. And to change one person's perspective sometimes may require going back to the root of that perspective. Getting people to think about the reasons why they see or react to things in a certain way, might open the door to changing their perspectives.

I could go on 😅

Nick Wright
19/1/2019 12:17:47 pm

Hi Suze. You sound like a change expert to me..! :)

David Shaw
18/1/2019 11:05:19 am

Mindfulness helps. Depth Typology (looking at all eight function attitudes and not just the ego side) offers another path. I always know I'm contributing my best when I hear a client saying "I see this differently now". Patience also has a major place in this.

Reply
Nick Wright
18/1/2019 11:06:28 am

Hi David. It sounds like you have some valuable knowledge in this area. Do you have any examples you could share from experience here to illustrate the models and approaches you mention?

Reply
Kathrin
18/1/2019 04:06:44 pm

Jedes der 4 c's ist wichtig. Doch wenn ich kein Vertrauen in mich und mein Können habe, dann werde ich auch keinen Mut für neue Aufgaben haben. Ich nehme mich als unwichtig und schwach wahr. Den Mut bekomme ich dann, wenn mir Freunde oder Kollegen zeigen, dass ich meine Aufgaben gut mache. Ein nettes Wort oder eine Mut machende Geste sind kleine Dinge, die aber viel bewirken können. Bei mir, aber auch bei anderen, denen ich so zeigen kann, wie wertvoll ihre Arbeit ist. So wird unsere Wahrnehmung positiv verändert und Selbstbewusstsein gegeben.

Reply
Nick Wright
18/1/2019 04:18:46 pm

Hallo Kathrin. Ich denke, Sie haben das schön ausgedrückt. Einige Sozialpsychologen glauben, dass wir nicht wissen, wer wir sind, bis wir uns selbst in den Augen anderer sehen, sei es Gott, Familie, Kollegen oder Freunde. Ich denke, das ist ein Grund, warum Ermutigung und konstruktives Feedback als Unterstützung - und Pflege - so wertvoll und wirkungsvoll sein können. Ich stimme zu, dass Mut oft mit Vertrauen zusammenhängt. Wenn mir das Vertrauen fehlt - sei es aus meinem Inneren oder aus dem Vertrauen, das andere mir anvertrauen -, wird es für mich viel schwieriger, den zukünftigen Herausforderungen und Möglichkeiten mit Mut und Hoffnung zu begegnen.

[Hi Kathrin. I think you expressed that beautifully. Some social psychologists believe that we don't know who we are until we see ourselves reflected in the eyes of others, whether that be God, family, colleagues or friends. I guess that's one reason why encouragement and constructive feedback as support - and care - can be so valuable and impacting. I agree that courage is often related to confidence. If I lack confidence - whether that be derived from within myself or the confidence that others instill in me - it will be far harder for me to face future challenges and opportunities with courage and hope.]

Reply
Terrence E. Maltbia
18/1/2019 05:54:24 pm

Nick, thanks for sharing this recent post and enjoyed reading your blog and seeing yet another version of the 4 Cs, I've familiar with: (1) Clarity (of intent/expectation), (2) Conditions (attending to relevant context - enablers and barriers), (3) Competence (i.e., can do); and (4) Commitment (i.e., will do).

Reply
Nick Wright
19/1/2019 12:26:04 pm

Hi Terrence. You're welcome. Thanks for your LinkedIn post and for sharing a useful variation of the 4xCs. Here's another variation that shares some commonalities with yours: http://www.nick-wright.com/paradigm-4c-dynamic-model.html

Reply
David Head
21/1/2019 12:58:42 pm

Giving a broader perspective and alternative perceptions helps to shape and challenge a narrow perspective. Working on internal narrative and underlying beliefs comes next. Why do you perceive a, b, c to be true? where do you think this comes from? what are the implications of this view? Helping to modify or get rid of unhelpful, self fulfilling expectations will help to square the circle.

Reply
Nick Wright
21/1/2019 01:03:44 pm

Hi David. Yes, and cultural narratives and beliefs if we are working with wider systems. We can also challenge fixed perceptions or beliefs by introducing or exposing the client to unexpected perspectives or paradigms, e.g. 'If that's what it would take to square the circle, what would it take, in this situation or relationship, to circle the square?' You may find this related short piece interesting? http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/disrupt

Reply
Ian Henderson
16/2/2019 04:39:44 pm

Really useful insight on perception and its power Nick.

Reply
Nick Wright
16/2/2019 04:40:19 pm

Thanks Ian - appreciated!

Reply
Kelly Huckaby
9/3/2019 11:09:53 am

It is amazing how important confidence is! I had an employee that I remember being a rock star at her job, but she just didn't believe in herself and she didn't believe me when I told her she was great. It took a couple of years to finally get her to have the confidence she should have had all along. I chipped away at it every month during 1on1's asking her to self-evaluate and then hear feedback from others.

Reply
Nick Wright
9/3/2019 11:11:24 am

Hi Kelly. Thanks for sharing such a great example from personal experience of the power of perception!

Reply



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    ​Nick Wright

    ​I'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? ​Get in touch!

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