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‘That was hard work. Exhausting. How to keep thinking of good questions…and then even more good questions??’ I hear this time and again from coaches and from leaders who are keen to develop a coaching style. The pressure is on to create a magical experience, find a ground-breaking solution, that leaves the other person feeling totally dazzled and impressed. Or at least that they found it useful enough to warrant paying you a fee - if you’re coach or trainer in private practice(!)
But what is really going on here? Whose conversation is it? Who is responsible for any outcome that is achieved? Is it really all down to the leader, coach or trainer to make something happen? What part does the client play in enhancing their own performance and development? In my experience, these are really important questions to think though, discuss and contract around with the client. It clarifies and manages mutual expectations and forms a healthy, effective relationship. A key principle is to build the client’s capacity to make best use of the resources, the opportunities, that are available to them through me and, by extension, in other situations. This often entails supporting and challenging them to develop their personal leadership: that is, their ownership, proactivity, resourcefulness and influence over their own learning and growth. This could involve, say, working to develop a curious, assertive stance in place of a more defended, passive one. So, in practice, irrespective of the person’s presenting issue, we will spend time negotiating and contracting explicitly around, e.g. ‘What are we here to do?’, ‘What do you want to be different?’, ‘How shall we do this?’ and ‘What are you willing to take responsibility for?’ This reinforces what we do as a coactive process in which the client, rather than coach, takes a lead role. And, critically, it ensures that we focus our attention and approach on what the client will find most useful.
101 Comments
Philip Dyer
9/4/2016 09:25:48 pm
Great article Nick; I find there is often an unspoken conflict between commercial sense (getting paid and being asked back) and being forthright and challenging (seeking changes in behaviour). Ownership must always lie with the client 😊
Nick Wright
9/4/2016 09:47:05 pm
Many thanks, Philip. I agree and I often see that same tension for internal coaches and OD practitioners too. How to challenge whilst retaining the relationship, the income...or the job! The tension can be compounded by a mismatch of expectations or understandings of what, say, coaching is, how it works or how it can bring benefit. Clients often engage a coach because they are looking for solutions and look to the coach to provide them. This is where clear and explicit contracting can make such a difference and, if the relationship continues, yield greater results. With best wishes. Nick
Jayne Harrison
9/4/2016 09:26:20 pm
Great piece of writing Nick. As so often is the case - all roads lead back to contracting.
Nick Wright
9/4/2016 09:52:09 pm
Thanks for the encouraging response, Jayne. Yes, I agree. Contracting (and re-contracting where needed) is so important. I find that I sometimes need to contract with myself first to clarify and affirm my own beliefs, intentions, ethics, boundaries etc., before contracting with the client. This helps me to avoid inadvertently being drawn into inappropriate, compromised or unworkable arrangements and to keep my own and the client's sense of respective roles and responsibilities clear. All the best. Nick
Stella Goddard BA (Hons) Registered MBACP (Accred)
9/4/2016 09:27:29 pm
Thank you Nick. I do think that there is an overlap between counselling and coaching. I see my role as a Counsellor as strengthening and empowering my clients towards making choices that are right for them in the timing that is right for them. We work together to help the client gain insight into patterns of thoughts, feelings and responses.Where negative automatic thoughts lead to stuckness and feeling disempowered we work towards challenging and changing these. My hope is to help clients find resources within themselves that perhaps they had forgotten about or not realised were there. My understanding of coaching is that it is more directive than counselling (do correct me if I am wrong) Both are collaborative. Both have the client in the driving seat. This I believe helps the client to take ownership of and responsibility for their journey.
Nick Wright
9/4/2016 10:05:27 pm
Hi Stella and thanks for sharing such interesting insights. Yes, I agree that there are similarities between coaching and counselling, particularly in terms of skills...although I would need to clarify that there are many different approaches to coaching just as there are to counselling! So it really depends on what you are comparing with what, if that makes sense. :)
Jeff Porterfield
9/4/2016 09:28:13 pm
It is essential that the client "take the lead". The role of the mentor/trainer is be the "mirror". His job is to provide a true reflection of the clients leadership style to the client. And all those questions ... they should be coming from the client. He may not know how, at first, to critically examine himself. This, too, can be trained, by asking the initial questions. But leadership always begins the same way; becoming a leader of one; learning how to become the sort of leader one would follow. Once that happens, just look behind yourself and you will find that you are being followed by others.
Nick Wright
9/4/2016 10:34:45 pm
Hi Jeff and thanks for the note. I really like your statement: 'All those questions...they should be coming from the client. He may not know how, at first...' There is something about building the client's ability to discover and develop their own resources and resourcefulness, both in terms of asking their own questions and, similarly, in terms of 'managing' their own coaching process - or at least playing a proactive role in contracting with the coach around it.
Lisa Rendell
12/4/2016 09:06:55 am
I agree Nick, sounds like you have a similar approach to me with the content of verbal contracting upfront and how you maintain it during a coaching programme.
Nick Wright
12/4/2016 04:37:11 pm
Thanks Lisa. That's encouraging to hear. In my experience, many coaches contract with their clients around what the client would like to discuss and work on. Some coaches also contract with the client on how they will work together. Fewer coaches appear to focus explicitly on building the client's capacity to exercise personal leadership in the context of their coaching experience. Does that resonate with your observations too? All the best. Nick
Jackie Le Fevre
16/4/2016 06:08:53 pm
Ooooo this is where both coach and client having insight into the vision values of the individual can be transformational! There is temptation for the client to keep the conversation rooted in their focus values - the stuff they are busy with and that gets them through the day/the task/the problem... but the vision values move us to another place, they characterise the future in which we would like to live. So I love the 'what do you want to be different' question and values can give us fresh vocabulary for describing how that difference might look/sound/feel when we get there. All good stuff Nick - keep it up!
Nick Wright
16/4/2016 06:14:58 pm
Hi Jackie and thanks for posting such inspiring insights. I love the idea of 'vision values' in contrast to 'focus values'. I have been co-facilitating co-active appraisal training over the past couple of weeks that has focused on a similar theme, moving away from forms and systems to consider personal vision, values, stance, intention, attitude, contribution, influence etc. and how these can dovetail with those of the wider organisation. The impact has been amazing, especially to see people who started out feeling overtly sceptical becoming energised, inspired and motivated to own and exercise personal leadership. All the best. Nick
Bob Nordlicht
16/4/2016 06:19:30 pm
I don't think dazzling, and ohh soo impressed, are the keys to personal leadership. I think effective communication skill , intelligence, knowledge develops within those you are teaching... Listening and effectively tailoring your presentations of management to those in your presence. is far more effective than dazzling.. Why you ask???? because it isn't about you....It is ALL ABOUT THEY!
Nick Wright
16/4/2016 06:21:33 pm
Hi Bob and thanks for the note. Yes, perhaps we could say that when a client starts to feel justifiably dazzled and impressed by learning to exercise their own personal leadership, that would be a better outcome than focusing on the insight and skills of the coach? All the best. Nick
Bob Larcher
16/4/2016 08:25:36 pm
Good question! I have an answer but it's a bit long.
Nick Wright
16/4/2016 08:28:26 pm
Many thanks, Bob. I really like the way you expressed that. Having read the nutshell, had a glimpse, I'd love to hear more about how you do it in practice. Do you have a case example you'd be happy to share, e.g. how you helped someone to discover where their personal leadership lies..? All the best. Nick
Bob Larcher
17/4/2016 11:17:20 am
Firstly, let me clarify what I mean by leadership; for me leadership is, essentially, “one’s capacity to influence others to work toward some kind of vision” and I’m quite happy for the word influence to be replaced by, encourage, inspire, motivate …. etc.
Nick Wright
17/4/2016 11:23:24 am
Thanks for such an inspiring and thought-provoking response, Bob! Much appreciated. I love the analogy of the guitarist. Alongside influence, I tend to think of personal leadership as stance, attitude, spirit, initiative, proactivity, resourcefulness etc. I really like your way of approaching this, including the invitation to participants to stand differently - a physical experiment and manifestation of stance - along with change of words, framing etc. All the best. Nick
Nick Wright
17/4/2016 11:27:17 am
Oh...and I also really like your reflection on how different people express their personal leadership - and thereby contribute - differently. Personal leadership looks different in different people and this is where, I think, exploring the realities and potential of e.g. distributed leadership, co-active leadership and team leadership can be particularly powerful. Thanks again. Nick
Bob Larcher
17/4/2016 02:11:02 pm
One of the problems with leadership development today is that people seem to be "model orientated" - we need to be "transformational" or "authentic" or "agile" or "ethical", etc. and incarnate all the behaviours that go with the model.
Nick Wright
17/4/2016 02:13:40 pm
Hi Bob. I can certainly empathise with that point, especially when working cross-culturally. It's one thing to define a set of leadership competencies in the abstract. It's quite another thing to ask (as Alex Swarbrick expresses it): 'What is construed as leadership in this context?' and to inquire and act from that place instead. All the best. Nick
Shirley Schulz-Robinson PhD
17/4/2016 11:07:49 am
Its nice when the conversation flows, questions just pop out, and the client is engaged. That is energising.
Nick Wright
17/4/2016 11:13:08 am
Hi Shirley and thanks for the note. Yes, those can be energising experiences. When the client engages with their own development - when they lean in rather than sit back as passive recipients - it's an example of the client taking personal leadership in the process. In my experience, when they take that stance their own questions are more likely to emerge for them - often leading to increasing their personal resourcefulness. All the best. Nick
Vikas Chhibber
17/4/2016 01:24:07 pm
Well articulated... thanks Nick
Nick Wright
17/4/2016 01:25:01 pm
Thanks for your kind feedback, Vikas. All the best. Nick
Tim Dodd
17/4/2016 02:07:57 pm
Leadership/Coaching 101; Leadership is a relationship, a two-way street, and coaching needs to be also.
Nick Wright
17/4/2016 02:09:37 pm
Hi Tim and thanks for the note. I agree. The question is how the leader or coach inspires, encourages, challenges, develops that stance and capacity in others. Do you have any examples from your experience you would be happy to share? All the best. Nick
Tim Dodd
20/4/2016 11:58:18 am
I'm a big believer in the Leadership Practices Inventory; Model the Way, Inspire a Shared Vision, Challenge the Process, Enable Others to Act and Encourage the Heart. My best example, or personal best leadership moment, came when I was the news director at a small news/talk radio station in Vermont. I was hired to help change the format and it was challenging to get some of the existing staff on board. The vision was to create the best radio news product in the state relying heavily on local news and sports coverage. Through lots of coaching and spending nights at the station when big stories demanded it, (9-11, election nights, etc) the crew saw that I was absolutely dedicated to the task. They bought in, and all began to raise our collective game. That year, we won the Vermont Associated Press award for the best daily radio newscast and the Vermont Association of Broadcasters Radio Station of the Year.
Rosa Zubizarreta
17/4/2016 02:53:57 pm
Brilliant, Nick! I really needed to hear this reminder, right now...
Nick Wright
17/4/2016 02:54:48 pm
Wow - thanks Rosa. What an inspiring response! :) All the best. Nick
Marita Jane Laxa
17/4/2016 03:23:46 pm
Amen! Yes, well-articulated and very true!
Nick Wright
17/4/2016 03:25:07 pm
Thanks for such affirming feedback, Marita. Sounds like it resonates with your experience too? All the best. Nick
Bonnie Poppe
17/4/2016 04:39:43 pm
Great point......if you, the coach, are exhausted after a session, it's a good sign that the agenda was the coaches and not the clients. If you are busy thinking of the next great question, you're missing the beauty of listening to your clients response to your last one.
Nick Wright
17/4/2016 04:44:33 pm
Hi Bonnie and thanks for the note. Yes, I've sometimes noticed that the coach is trying too hard to think of and pose good questions and the coachee is struggling to reflect or get a word in edgeways! It's sometimes better simply to ask the coachee e.g. 'What questions is this raising for you?' or 'If I were to as you a really useful question at this point, what might I ask you to move this forward?'. This helps ensure that the coach stays in facilitating mode rather than driving the conversation to focus on the questions and issues the coach finds most interesting or pertinent. All the best. Nick
Kathleen M. Vaughan, MA, ACC
17/4/2016 10:38:23 pm
The last paragraph is really powerful and a good reminder about the foundation from which the conversation is co-designed.
Nick Wright
20/4/2016 10:17:31 am
Thanks Kathleen. I worked with a similar principle with a training group over the last couple of weeks. As part of the workshops, I invited people mid-way through to evaluate my performance as trainer (in the group) and to reflect on what criteria they used to evaluate it. It surfaced the co-active aspect of a training experience and the part participants can and must play in creating and owning responsibility for their own learning. In my experience, if participants are willing to own that responsibility, it makes contracting with the individual or the group far more purposeful and energising. All the best. Nick
Linda Aspey
18/4/2016 06:53:06 pm
I completely agree!
Nick Wright
20/4/2016 10:20:40 am
Thanks Linda! All the best. Nick
Anthony Onyeador
18/4/2016 06:56:27 pm
Very true. When clients are faced with difficulties, the rapport we've with them should enable us to bring out the "client" part of the coach before leading him to the solutions as a therapist. In that way, the follower and the leader trait of the coach is adequately used!
Nick Wright
20/4/2016 10:23:59 am
Thanks Anthony. Interesting reflections on coach as 'client' and on following and leading within the relationship. All the best. Nick
Keara Byrne
18/4/2016 07:02:38 pm
Interesting points Nick. It certainly isn't just about "magic questions" and both the coach and coaches have responsibilities for how the sessions go. It isn't just about questions either, it is also about goal attainment and using an evidence-based framework for coaching rather than simply relying on anecdotal pieces to inform our coaching. If we can help people to move forward towards their goals, achieve insight and self-regulation we can measure ourselves as successful coaches. The skill of the coach also relies on his or her ability to engage the coachee in the meaning making process where the coachee is at. This is where coaches demonstrate their skill as coaches.
Nick Wright
20/4/2016 10:31:21 am
Hi Keara and thanks for the note. I'm curious about who and what would drive the need for an 'evidence base' in a coaching context. Is that about, say, reality-checking the coachee's perceptions and how they construe experiences and situations? That's where I believe the importance of meaning-making is particularly important. 'What sense is the client making of what they are perceiving and experiencing?' is a very different question to 'What happened?'. I'd be interested to hear more! All the best. Nick
Kathleen (Kathy) Marcino
18/4/2016 07:12:11 pm
Well said, Nick! For me and my clients, a lot depends on what motivates the individual to reach their goal. Everyone has a unique and preferred behavioural style. At the start of any engagement, we do a DISC Personality Assessment.
Nick Wright
20/4/2016 10:41:01 am
Hi Kathy and thanks for the note. Yes, I agree that motivation plays a significant part in what happens and how in a coaching relationship. A good friend, Ian Henderson (Eagle Training) loves using DISC profiling too when working with groups. I'm interested to hear more about how you and the client use the results of the DISC profile to influence and inform how you work together? All the best. Nick
Kathleen (Kathy) Marcino
22/4/2016 08:45:07 am
One of the best results was with a client in a new Director role. He had his own way of "directing" his team, and was increasingly frustrated with their lack of compliance. After he and his team took the assessment(which I strongly recommend completing together), he found that many of the team members really didn't understand his message, based on their own styles. We also found that some of the members were not in the right roles to succeed. There were many 'a ha' moments that day! This tool is incredibly valuable, and so easy to adapt.
Nick Wright
22/4/2016 08:47:48 am
Many thanks for sharing such a great example, Kathy - and with such great results! I agree with you that using a tool such as DISC can be very powerful when used with a whole team. It can raise awareness and bring critical-to-success issues into the team conversation. All the best. Nick
Penny Simpson TAP.cert
20/4/2016 10:42:25 am
I really like the DISC concept, it is snappy and practical.
Grace Hudson
18/4/2016 10:59:11 pm
The desire to enable change can lead coaches and mentors to want to "do" the change "for" the client or mentee.
Nick Wright
20/4/2016 10:51:38 am
Hi Grace. Thanks for the insightful comments. I think you expressed that really well, especially: 'The desire to enable change can lead coaches and mentors to want to "do" the change "for" the client or mentee.' You may be interested in resonances with a similar blog: http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/rescue All the best. Nick
David Loughnan
19/4/2016 05:13:40 am
Well said, Nick! Thanks for this. Cheers!
Nick Wright
20/4/2016 10:52:55 am
Cheers, Dave! :) All the best. Nick
Chris Penson
20/4/2016 10:08:56 am
Thanks Nick. I agree, it should be all about the individual not the coach... and thank you for the reminder that we should Always Be Contracting. I find the times I am anxious to see the person have a 'light bulb moment' are the times I've tried coaching them without properly agreeing it with them first!! Helpful thought-provoking article as usual. Thanks.
Nick Wright
20/4/2016 10:57:01 am
Thanks for the kind feedback, Chris - and great to hear from you again! :) I can certainly relate to that sense of trying too hard at times to ensure the client has a 'light bulb moment' - and the temptation to attempt to switch the light on for them if they don't seem able to do it for themselves..! All the best. Nick
Laura Lingle
20/4/2016 10:43:05 am
Read The Last Days of Socrates.
Nick Wright
20/4/2016 10:43:39 am
Say more...Laura? All the best. Nick
Laura Lingle
28/4/2016 10:37:38 am
Hi Nick - Not sure what happened to the response I posted. The Last Days of Socrates, written by Plato, is about what the title implies. Ever heard of the Socratic method? :-)
Bharati Rathod
20/4/2016 10:45:41 am
That was very enlightening. Thank you for sharing Nick
Nick Wright
20/4/2016 10:46:20 am
Thanks for your kind feedback, Bharati. All the best. Nick
Dyllis Faife
20/4/2016 11:02:38 am
Helpful summary of the issues.Totally agree that coaching is about 'supporting & challenging people to develop their personal leadership'. Had a classic illustration of this issue in this morning's coaching session, where the focus for the client was about exploring what it means to be a confident & effective leader.One of the key outcomes for them was the recognition that being a 'confident and effective leader' included their own personal & role responsibility to challenge & to question. And in this particular case to challenge and question their own manager's decision! In a supportive and constructively challenging way, of course, which they worked out how to do. From their starting point , which was one of concern & a feeling of lack of confidence & experience, they finished the session feeling confident about owning the issue, being aware of their own resourcefulness, with a proactive action plan and an appreciation of their own learning and how to share the learning with others.
Nick Wright
20/4/2016 11:09:15 am
Many thanks for sharing such a great case example, Dyllis. I often invite challenge within the coaching relationship itself, especially if a client appears passive. This gives them a here-and-now experience of challenging and often creates a willingness to challenge others (including themselves) as well as opportunity to practise skills -with feedback - that they can use in other situations too. In my experience, it's often about e.g. increasing sense of self/'calling', ownership, intention, initiative and resourcefulness. It will be interesting to hear what happened when your client followed through on learning from your conversation! All the best. Nick
Jennifer Cyr, M.A., Psy.D.
20/4/2016 11:10:38 am
I think the "what are you willing to take responsibility for?" Question is very important. Not only does it set boundaries, it also adds internal intrinsic accountability for change.
Nick Wright
20/4/2016 11:17:04 am
Hi Jennifer. I agree. Well said! In a similar vein, I had an interesting conversation with a training group yesterday about feedback. They were thinking about 'appraisal conversations' and mechanisms for feedback. I invited them to step back from the mechanics and to consider, e.g. 'What are you here to do?', 'What's important to you in this?', 'What feedback would you find most useful?', 'How might you invite honest feedback?' and, critically, 'Do you really want to know??' It touched on existential/spiritual questions such as, 'Who am I?', 'What difference to I want to make in the world?' and, from that place, 'What am I willing to take responsibility for in this place?' It was a powerful conversation, at times emotional, and had a dramatic impact in the group. All the best. Nick
George Anderson MSW, BCD, CAMF
20/4/2016 11:20:03 am
The idea that powerful questions lead to change is really the problem. My firm providers leadership coaching for physicians. We focus on emotional intelligence skill enhancement for leadership. We use Pre and Post EQ assessments along with a written curriculum. Therefore, we can determine the success or lack of success for each client.
Nick Wright
20/4/2016 11:22:40 am
Hi George and thanks for the stimulating response. I do believe that questions can lead to change. I've experienced that very personally - so I'm intrigued! Are you challenging the notion that posing questions alone is sufficient? I'm interested to hear more. All the best. Nick
Patrick Agergaard
20/4/2016 11:23:34 am
George, I like your point. What do you use in order to measure clients' EQ?
John P Morgan
20/4/2016 11:24:25 am
Great point, Nick. Good reminder to put the onus on the client to bring more leadership to the conversation.
Nick Wright
20/4/2016 11:26:45 am
Thanks John. Yes, in my experience, enabling clients to learn how to get the best from their own coaching relationship and experience - which entails taking personal leadership within it - can significantly enhance their engagement and resourcefulness as well as wider benefits that emerge from it. All the best. Nick
Andy Scantland
20/4/2016 11:29:07 am
Thanks for this article- I think it's an important question and reflects the requirement for tangible results from the coaching. I believe we develop the personal leadership capacity of our clients by using the coaching process to help them unveil their genuine, authentic and most powerful selves. When we are being conscious about our decisions and making decisions based on our personal values, we are leveraging our own personal capacity. When we make decisions out of routine or habit, we forego our ability to optimize our own power. Our job as coaches is to create the structure and safe space to allow clients to find their power and build processes for regularly accessing it.
Nick Wright
20/4/2016 11:33:46 am
Many thanks, Andy. I really like the way you expressed that - especially the stark contrast between conscious practice and doing things out of routine or habit. I think this is where using coaching as an opportunity for here-and-now reflective practice can be very powerful indeed. I find insights from Gestalt particularly useful in this area, for instance in terms of how to increase the client's 'contact' with e.g. themselves, God, the coach, the issue, their environment etc. Its a bit like a waking experience from default/auto-pilot. All the best. Nick
Paul Slater
20/4/2016 01:31:11 pm
Keeping in mind what the client needs and responding to those needs 'in the moment' is what makes coaches really effective. If you think it's your responsibility to take your client through a pre-defined number of stages you aren't a coach, you're a trainer.
Nick Wright
20/4/2016 01:33:36 pm
Thanks Paul. In that sense, we can model personal leadership for the client - e.g. proactivity and responsiveness - and invite the client to do the same. All the best. Nick
George Boulden
20/4/2016 03:34:33 pm
I agree. It seems to me that the answer is always in the question; the trick is of course, finding the right question. I find the Japanese five 'why's' approach very useful.
Nick Wright
20/4/2016 03:40:40 pm
Thanks George. I agree that the '5 x why' technique can be very useful. In my experience, it's less about me finding the right question and more about, insofar as I can, enabling the client to find their own question - the question that, if they were to face and address it, would create the greatest awareness and shift. This sometimes means asking things like, say, 'What's the most challenging question I could ask you?' or 'What's the question you're hoping I won't ask you?' The idea is to raise to the surface those questions that the client may hold and discover within themselves when prompted - and that can have the greatest positive impact. All the best. Nick
Kirsty Macari
21/4/2016 09:25:25 am
Found this a really helpful reminder as I find my way in this.
Nick Wright
21/4/2016 09:26:17 am
Thanks for your encouraging feedback, Kirsty. All the best. Nick
Justine Daunis, VP
21/4/2016 09:29:13 am
Great dialogue in this thread. As a learning professional and certified coach so often leaders and Human Resources look outward for solutions. The answers are all within and it's our role to help the client uncover blindspots that shadow potential, then hold them accountable to build personal leadership capability. Assessments serve as a mirror to reveal areas of opportunity. The key is to unlock the identity gap deep seated within the brain.
Nick Wright
21/4/2016 09:52:59 am
Hi Justine. Thanks for posting such a stimulating response. It raises all kinds of interesting questions for me! I like your language about 'blind spots that shadow potential'.
Ulrich Schweiker
21/4/2016 09:30:40 am
This discussion reminds me of our (students') questions in 1981 when we "studied" coaching in sport psychology at the United States International University in San Diego (now Alliant) - it was more experiential learning since there was little documented knowledge at that time. - In a nut shell: then and now I do believe that leadership consists of a small (about 10 %) portion of "unknown" (maybe genetic component), 30 % of personality (compressed swallowed and digested previous experience no longer easily accessible to reflection - i.e. beyond psychoanalytic hard long work), 30 % of the dynamics of the environments (mostly of those being led or reluctant from being led or opposing to being led!), and 30 % the matching of leaders with their "followers" (and non-followers respectively). Consequently coaching consists of a combination of working with those areas with different agendas: yes, putting questions helps partially. Listening as well. Also joint understanding, of the environment.
Nick Wright
21/4/2016 10:05:43 am
Hi Ulrich and thanks for posting such a fascinating response. Lots to think about!
Richard (Sam) Dalton
22/4/2016 08:49:39 am
Leadership is personal each individual has to overcome their own unique challenges. Group coaching touches the surface and provides food for thought for many. many individuals in positions are there not because of their leadership skills but by circumstance or connection of course they can learn something a lot are there not through a passion for leadership bug because they have been told that this is something they need to do as part of some matrix. coaching groups is about instilling passion for leadership and showing them the benefit to them of mastering and improving their approach to people on a level that will make a connection plant a seed of empathy that gets people to listen actively.
Nick Wright
22/4/2016 01:52:02 pm
Hi Richard and thanks for sharing such interesting insights. Yes, when leadership is associated with job, post or position, we sometimes find people in leadership roles that lack leadership qualities or skills. Similarly, where leadership is associated with qualities and skills rather than job, post or position, we sometimes see examples of great leadership irrespective of a person's formal role. I like your emphasis on instilling passion. Perhaps, for me, it's something about evoking or, at times, provoking a leadership spirit in individuals and teams, out of which culturally and contextually specific leadership outlooks, attitudes and behaviours follow. All the best. Nick
Richard (Sam) Dalton
22/4/2016 11:40:18 pm
Hi Nick I know what you mean provoking leadership spirit I often find provoking people who are not comfortable can go both ways but again that is individual. Team dynamics are harder there will naturally be a dominant force in any team dynamic and two dominant forces can be counterproductive. Do we want our teams full of leaders I don't think that is practical But a dominant personality that is also a leader can achieve much. In some occasions I have seen a leadership style that allows for a dominant character to drive progress while controlling the decision making process in the background A leader knows how to use the elements in his team to the best of their advantage. Teach understanding of motivation and approaches towards guiding decision making non confrontational. A leader should guide not dictate. Most believe that they have to be larger than life and forceful in leadership But the mark of a leader is cooperation motivation respect and in the end Positive results.
Esther Blanche Scheidler
22/4/2016 12:51:22 pm
I strengthen the truthfullness and responsibility. Without truth all is just a show and that creates fear-not good.
Nick Wright
22/4/2016 02:00:18 pm
Hi Esther and thanks for such a stimulating response. Your emphasis on truthfulness reminds me of ideas in William Glasser's 'Reality Therapy' which emphasises the importance of reality, responsibility and relationship. It also reminds me of ideas in Jim Collins' 'Good to Great' which emphasises the importance of paying attention to brutal facts. A challenge in this area is to consider how 'facts' are identified, construed, interpreted etc. which often reveal more about the individual and culture than objective truth or reality per se. Kenneth Gergen poses some interesting ideas in this respect in his book, 'An Invitation to Social Construction'. All the best. Nick
Esther Blanche Scheidler
22/4/2016 03:48:03 pm
Hi Nick- I did not mean a focus on facts though, but to align with an inner truthful narrative, which includes the absence of lies of course.
Nick Wright
22/4/2016 03:49:07 pm
Thanks Esther. I find your perspective fascinating. Do you have an example from practice that you would be willing to share? All the best. Nick
Esther Blanche Scheidler
22/4/2016 11:41:12 pm
One example came to my mind- a woman who was in therapy and coaching with me: she was settled in a normal life with a diplomat as a husband and two children ect- she had a longing to be an artist and to have "adventures"-something that was simply not in her...
Richard (Sam) Dalton
22/4/2016 11:42:08 pm
hi Esther great outcome, We seek validation and reinforcement of our belief systems. It is hard when someone we love challenges our view and does not support our dreams and desires and in avoiding conflict or challenge we often surprise our needs one the perceived needs of those we love or look up to. This unfortunately causes inner conflict and in the end there is a spiral into lack of self worth and doubt. Reinforcing our natural beliefs and desires helps us grow in the end as you have facilitated :)
Linda Narbeth
22/4/2016 03:06:53 pm
A really good read thank you for the reminder.
Nick Wright
22/4/2016 03:07:35 pm
Thanks Linda. All the best. Nick
Sharon Wilson
23/4/2016 10:32:07 am
Amen!
Nick Wright
23/4/2016 10:33:04 am
:) Sharon! All the best. Nick
Pedro Martins
23/4/2016 10:33:59 am
Thanks.
Nick Wright
23/4/2016 10:34:38 am
You're welcome, Pedro. All the best. Nick
Ulla Stigring
23/4/2016 11:30:21 am
Interesting, important to remember🍀
Nick Wright
23/4/2016 11:34:19 am
Thanks Ulla - and all the best to you. Nick
Timothy Lynn Burchfield
24/4/2016 08:01:32 pm
Good word Nick. Coaches and leaders do not own the responsibility for personal leadership development for emerging leaders. Coaches have never been able to take credit (and should not take credit) for the success of a leader. Coaches simply give wisdom and direction as the leaders develops themselves. Emerging leaders need direction and encouragement along with honesty. Hard conversations are necessary as they develop. Times of serious and honest engagement give emerging leaders the courage to continue. Most find the cost of becoming a great leader too high.
Nick Wright
24/4/2016 08:09:20 pm
Hi Timothy and thanks for such a stimulating response. The picture that came to mind as I read your comments was that of a coach alongside a person as they travel their own leadership journey. That resonates well with the idea that taking responsibility for one's own development is inherent to personal leadership. In my experience, contracting around developing the person's personal leadership in the context of a coaching relationship, experience and opportunity is very different to simply working with the client on an issue they bring to coaching to resolve. Does that make sense? All the best. Nick
Timothy Lynn Burchfield
29/4/2016 02:45:18 pm
Word to the COACH. Commit to personal excellence, read the latest thoughts on leadership, go back to school for executive certificates in leadership, organize your message and be able to deliver it in 17 minutes (Ted Talk Format)
Andy Scantland
26/4/2016 10:10:56 am
Akin to other responses, my approach is to draw forth the authenticity in my client. People step into their strengths when they are comfortable in their own skin and expressing themselves fully. One woman I'm working with had just been promoted into senior management (a major goal for her) and received lots of positive feedback in her first few months in the new job. But she found that the compliments weren't helpful and overall, she wasn't nearly as fulfilled as she expected to be. We worked together on determining where her genuine values lie and what is it about management that attracted her; turns out, for her, it's not about the title or money or status or control, but simply around being available for her subordinates and exceeding expectations. Once she understood what was driving her, she was able to be intentional about taking value in the feedback and learning to set aside time for those things she enjoys about her job (learning new skills and coaching up her staff!).
Nick Wright
26/4/2016 10:19:41 am
Hi Andy and thanks for sharing such a great case example. I like the way you worked with the client to enable them to understand their values and to exercise leadership from that place. In my experience, this is where personal leadership can be at its most authentic, influencing and sustainable. All the best. Nick Leave a Reply. |
Nick WrightI'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? Get in touch! 
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