Procrastination

15/8/2018

It’s different to waiting, constructive waiting, when waiting itself is the wise and expedient thing to do. Procrastination is more about putting things off, not doing the constructive thing, avoiding what we need to or should do. It’s as much a psychological state, an oft debilitating stance, as an action or inaction. It’s the topic of reams of jokes too – suggesting that is has resonance, raising that awkward smile-when-found-out feeling, personally and culturally. We know it and recognise it in ourselves.

Yet why do we do it? Why do we put something off until tomorrow – or forever – that we know, at some level, would be better done today? Think of all those tasks, conversations, unresolved issues and that unfinished business that crowd in on us mentally and emotionally, running like background programmes that drain us. Think of how much energy it takes to avoid, to hold off, to delay rather than to do. We convince ourselves it’s about priorities – ‘the urgent and the important’. Maybe.

Think of it this way. Procrastination achieves or safeguards something for us. It fulfils a conscious or subconscious need. It could be a need to feel safe if a conversation feels too risky. It could be a need to feel self-esteem if a job feels too big or too hard. It could be a need to feel in control if an array of tasks feels too overwhelming. It could be a need to feel purpose-ful if our work seems meaningless. It could be a need to feel loved if a relationship appears at stake. It could be that we are just…tired.

So, what can we do if we notice a spirit of procrastination creeping insidiously into our clients? How can we help break the lethargy, the corrosive downward spiral it can create over time? 1. Acknowledge the need (above). 2. Challenge to decide. (The act of deciding is energising: ‘Optimism of action is better than pessimism of thought.’) 3. Challenge to act. 'Don’t overthink. Just do it – Now.' 4. Offer support to snap out of it, to jolt into action, if the client feels stuck. 5. Notice – and celebrate – achievement.

56 Comments

Dan Pegler

15/8/2018 01:05:28 pm

Thanks Nick. I'll read this later.

Nick Wright

15/8/2018 01:06:16 pm

Thanks, Dan, for responding so promptly. You made me laugh! :)

Stella Goddard BA (Hons) Registered MBACP (Accred)

15/8/2018 03:56:50 pm

Nick...l love the image you have used for this article. We like our information to load quickly. We don't like those blue circles on our devices to go round and round while we watch and press more buttons to hurry things along.

Why do l procrastinate sometimes? Overloaded, tired, too hard, fear of failure or other people's response....

Antidote....Get some rest so that l can think more clearly. Do what l can and be willing to ask for help.

15/8/2018 04:10:27 pm

Thanks Stella - and for such an honest personal response. Yes, I think procrastination is one of those weirdly paradoxical psychological phenomena. We sometimes don't do things because we don't fell we have the energy to do them...and yet not doing them saps us of what little energy we have left. Catch-22.

I've seen this a lot with some of the clients I work with, particularly with those who are, say, long-term unemployed. Help from others really can enable us to break the downward spiral, the vicious cycle...and it often starts with small decisions and small steps - an act of doing rather than a process of thinking.

15/8/2018 06:10:14 pm

You are very welcome Nick. Yes I do think that sometimes we procrastinate and then we procrastinate some more - and then we feel bad about that and maybe other people are 'keeping on at us' to 'get on it with it 'so we feel bad about that too. I always encourage self-compassion, trying to work out what's really wrong and then asking 'I wonder what one small step you might think about doing.' The balance of kindness with therapeutic challenge needs to be managed carefully which is why a solid professional relationship can make a big difference.
I would also add that I think that as a society we are so overloaded with the fast pace of life and expectations to 'do more' than we don't always get a chance to be still and reflect and we end up chasing our tail and full of anxiety.
Your article reminded me of one that I wrote a while ago https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/procrastination-why-do-we-ba-hons-registered-mbacp-accred-/

15/8/2018 08:46:23 pm

Hi Stella. Yes, I too wonder if there are cultural and contextual dynamics that influence procrastination, including the sense of feeling overloaded and overwhelmed that you describe well here. Thanks too for sharing the link to your blog on this theme. I liked your reflection that some people like to leave things until the last minute, the last second. They could be viewed as procrastinators by others, whereas they may simply be outworking a preference. I have had experiences in other cultures that we may consider 'unorganised' or 'disorganised', whereas they may simply have found ways to work in far more fluid and less predictable or manageable circumstances than our own - or placed value on other things (e.g. people and relationships) over holding rigidly to pre-determined deadlines.

16/8/2018 10:47:35 am

Nick I wanted to add a little more ....when we are feeling low due to our circumstances such as the one that you described our brain is in survival mode (fight, flight, freeze, flop). In this state we are unable to think clearly. I am finding that using psycho education together with tools to help clients relax is making a difference - one example is using a self-soothing box which contains healthy items which help them to feel good - e.g. self-affirmation cards, a journal, something that smells nice, some music etc. I suggest that when they are in a good place they make this box and then when they are feeling unmotivated they go and find their box and see what item they need in that moment which will help them feel better. We can't think properly if we are upset . Finding ways to calm ourselves empowers and motivates us to take small steps. Certainly connecting with other people personally and professionally can be enormously helpful.

I think you are right about cultural and contextual dynamics. Sometimes what seems important to one person in their worldview may not hold the same level of relevance in someone else's. When my children were young l had endless conversations with other mothers about why they wouldn't tidy their rooms etc. I was often met with sighs of 'l will do it later.' A wise person pointed out to me that tidying their rooms was low in terms of importance and being with their friends and having fun was more appealing.

16/8/2018 10:49:27 am

Thanks Stella. Those insights are certainly consistent with ideas in Human Givens psychology.

Kathrin

15/8/2018 07:57:39 pm

Aufschieben heißt oft, keine Lust oder Zeit haben oder keine Schwierigkeiten bekommen wollen.
Aufschieben kann aber auch bedeuten, dass ich noch nicht die Kraft oder den Druck habe, eine wichtige Sache zu tun. Für manche Menschen ist aufschieben gut, denn nur unter Druck können sie zu sehr guten Ergebnissen kommen. Dafür müssen sie sich aber selbst sehr gut kennen, um zu wissen, dass das funktioniert.
Nicht schöne Sachen aufschieben, heißt meistens Stress haben. Manchmal braucht man zur Erledigung der eher unangenehmen Sache die Hilfe anderer. Manchmal reicht der eigene Mut. Auf jeden Fall muss man es nicht allein bewältigen!

15/8/2018 08:57:54 pm

Hi Kathrin. Yes, I agree - sometimes we may put off doing something because we do not (yet) have the strength or the courage to do it...or at least we may believe that we don't. Sometimes we discover the strength and courage - and surprise ourselves - when we step out in faith and do it. In that sense, we sometimes discover, create and become who we by facing situations, making decisions and noticing what we do!

(Hallo Kathrin. Ja, ich stimme zu - manchmal verschieben wir etwas, weil wir (noch) nicht die Kraft oder den Mut haben, es zu tun ... oder zumindest glauben wir, dass wir es nicht tun. Manchmal entdecken wir die Stärke und den Mut - und überraschen uns selbst - wenn wir im Glauben heraustreten und es tun. In diesem Sinne entdecken, erschaffen und werden wir manchmal, wer wir sind, indem wir uns Situationen stellen, Entscheidungen treffen und bemerken, was wir tun!)

Gabriella Kovacs ACC

16/8/2018 01:28:35 pm

Related to points 3 and 4: create a safe space to explore the alternatives to not doing and imagining ideas, actions that ring positively... The territory of dreams maybe, but dreaming is the first step towards reality... Great you did not refer to the comfort zone.

16/8/2018 01:37:49 pm

Thanks Gabriella - and well said. In my experience, when clients are procrastinating, they often appear either completely disengaged or, conversely, completely transfixed. In the latter case, part of a coach's role can be to enable the client to break their gaze. I like your way of describing this: 'explore the alternatives to not doing and imagining ideas, actions that ring positively...the territory of dreams'.

Bob Larcher

16/8/2018 02:45:06 pm

I need to think about this one, I'll post something tomorrow; or maybe the day after.

16/8/2018 02:46:07 pm

Come on, Bob. Don’t overthink. Just do it – Now. :)

Cath Norris

17/8/2018 09:40:36 am

I've heard procrastination being linked to a reliance on instant gratification an avoidance of putting in the necessary work to reach a gratifying position. I like your take though Nick - your appreciation of how it can safeguard. It resonates when contextualised in a world of push and shove where free will and self determinism are so rarely valued or encouraged.

My sense is that when procrastination has become a generalised default position, there's value in exploring the experiences and resulting response behind that. So I'd start with the not doing as that's what's showing up. For me, there's something about regaining momentum through really acknowledging the stuckness.

17/8/2018 09:48:18 am

Thanks Cath. Really appreciate your thoughts. Yes, if procrastination has become a general pattern of behaviour and is perceived by the client and/oror others as problematic, the pattern itself can be worth exploring too as something that is showing up. I guess what is also showing up is what the client is doing, as well as what he or she is not-doing. In one sense, the doing represents a choice and may be where useful energy lies. If the client understands what they are doing and why, they may find valuable keys there that unlock their own stuckness,

Sudeer Raveendran

17/8/2018 09:49:16 am

Excellent Sir!

17/8/2018 09:49:49 am

Thank you, Sudeer! :)

Della Menechella

18/8/2018 01:04:44 am

When I have a client who is getting stuck by procrastination, it's usually because she feels overwhelmed. I help her chunk down the project into small, manageable tasks so that she can begin taking action on them.

18/8/2018 01:09:17 am

Hi Della. Yes, if we feel overwhelmed, it can trigger a fight-flight-freeze response. It can leave us feeling paralysed. Breaking the task down into smaller parts can help release the sense of frozen-ness psychologically as well as practically.

John b. May

18/8/2018 11:22:56 pm

OUR WORST ENEMY? PROCRASTINATION !
Let's not put off until tomorrow what should be done today. Procrastination prevents us from acting, from completing our projects, from achieving our goals, and worse, from losing confidence in ourselves. What to do?
-First check that the task corresponds to our objectives.
-Consult our "to do" list and start with the most difficult things (or what we do not want to do). We will feel so much better after having crossed them off the list.
-If it is a big job or a project, build programmed ‘milestones’ into a daily and weekly schedule.
-Reward ourselves at the end of each stage. No effort without reward!
Nevertheless, allow ourselves to procrastinate from time to time. Example: if we block, without ideas and inspiration, sometimes the best solution may be to turn off your computer and put off until later.

18/8/2018 11:24:16 pm

Hi John. Interesting idea to choose the most difficult things first. It sounds like your last point is more about constructive waiting than procrastination..?

Lisa Brochey

18/8/2018 11:25:45 pm

Great perspective Nick!

18/8/2018 11:26:05 pm

Thanks Lisa! :)

Harold Russell

20/8/2018 12:20:28 pm

Also worth exploring how they have learnt the art of 'procrastinating', and what they are actually doing when 'procrastinating'. Makes it easier to unlearn whatever it is they have taught themselves.....

20/8/2018 12:21:17 pm

Hi Harold. That's an interesting angle: unlearning the art of procrastination!

John (Norval) Settle

20/8/2018 03:50:00 pm

I'm gonna read this later.

20/8/2018 03:50:35 pm

Hi John. "Do it Now!!" ;)

Sekararajan Balagurunathan

24/8/2018 05:31:42 am

It is because lack of clarity on the matter to be decided upon.

24/8/2018 05:34:09 am

Hi Sekararajan. Yes, a lack of clarity could certainly be a factor...as could be delaying or avoiding seeking the clarity needed to move forward..?

Yasser Peña

24/8/2018 05:35:14 am

The only way to stop procrastinating is start doing. So simple!!!!

24/8/2018 05:37:20 am

Hi Yasser. So...how do you work with a coaching client to move from procrastinating to doing - where doing is their own choice and, for whatever reason, they are not doing it?

Haya Spring

24/8/2018 05:38:14 am

Procrastination it's a way to escape duties and the things the person has to do to get the results they want a strategy I use with my clients who wants to overcome that is to let them remember the what will happen in 1 yesr/5 years if they keep procrastinate what's matter to them? How they're life will be in the future comparing of what they want it to be as real freedom comes after achieving things,and I'll make make a reward if they do that thing and punishment for themselves if they didn't.

24/8/2018 05:47:17 am

Hi Hiya. So it sounds like you focus on potential implications of procrastinating vs taking action in relation to potential future rewards. One way to do this can be through vivid or dramatic visualisation. If the person is able to create a vision of the future that they find sufficiently convincing and compelling, it may be enough to break them out of the grip of procrastination by drawing them powerfully forward, a bit like a psychological/emotional magnet!

Chris Hallet

24/8/2018 05:48:06 am

I had a great example whilst helping someone get their job application completed. Just keep dragging them back to the one thing that is going to make a difference.

24/8/2018 05:49:40 am

Hi Chris. Sounds intriguing. Can you say a bit more vis a vis 'the one thing that is going to make a difference'?

Karen DELAHAYE

24/8/2018 05:50:44 am

Interesting article,
I tend to use the TIC TOC Technique.
The TIC TOC technique replaces your task-interfering Cognitions with Task-Orientated Cognitions.
Meaning that I get my client to :
-To list all negative thoughts
-To list his or hers objective and positive thoughts
Helps defeat the negative thoughts and provide a positive action.
-To Rationalize the results - replacing negative thoughts with positive actions.
So far this method seems to work with my clients.

Take Care,
Karen

24/8/2018 05:54:16 am

Thanks Karen. I haven't heard of TIC TOC before. It sounds like it has resonances with cognitive behavioural coaching? You may find these related short pieces interesting?

http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/cognitive-behavioural-coaching
http://www.nick-wright.com/fresh-thinking.html
http://www.nick-wright.com/gestalt-meets-cognitive-coaching.html

Let me know what you think!

Jean-Albert Brière

24/8/2018 05:55:07 am

The underlying need part is pretty well worded, well done Nick. Inspiring ✅

24/8/2018 05:56:11 am

Merci, Jean-Albert! :)

Tony Wood

25/8/2018 11:44:16 am

How do you deal with procrastination? I’ll get back to you on that. 😜

25/8/2018 11:45:22 am

Thanks Tony. I will look forward to it. ;)

Julia Menaul

25/8/2018 11:48:25 am

I have personally been using Mark Forsters 10 min end effect for years, when I am having one of those days.

25/8/2018 11:49:12 am

Hi Julia. That sounds intriguing. What is it? Do you have an example you could share to illustrate what it looks like in practice?

Maureen L Teasdale

27/8/2018 01:49:14 am

Sometimes the human mind and body needs to take a rest, a rest for the purpose of recharging the batteries. Sadly a few people call this procrastination, but as we are all human we must remember that we are not superhuman. I would also like to add that when training concerns award bonuses and awards to staff, they must remember that this is not always motivating for those who pick up nothing, especially if they have done all the work and they are not justly acknowledged with as much as a thank you. What I'm saying is that some organisations have their favourites and this blinds the bosses to massive amounts of work others do. So if procrastination exists in your organisation the organisation needs to look at its ways of motivation and rewards.

27/8/2018 01:56:52 am

Hi Maureen. Yes, it really could be that we are just...tired. On that theme, you may find these related short pieces interesting?

*http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/cycles
*http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/pit-stop

I think you raise an interesting point about what to do if an organisation notices procrastination, especially if it is a recurring pattern or theme. It could reveal all kinds of influencing factors, e.g. workload; work-life balance; cultural attitudes towards risk and 'failure'.

29/8/2018 03:01:39 pm

Spot on Nick. Pit Stop is the better of the two articles as every now and then I have to stop myself, take stock of what I am doing to ensure that I can deliver at my best. That is also without the caffeine kick. We also need to learn how to be good to ourselves, so if something works out well don't keep looking for perfection because if something is working well you have almost found it. So reward yourself with a hot chocolate, an earlier finish. You can also use the positive things that have worked out well, to sell your skills further more clients or offering a different subject or a different angle on a subject. CPD is also important to anyone who is a coach, a tutor or a teacher. Take note of when a certain certificate runs out and remember to take it again. If a tutor is totally dedicated to what they do, she or he wouldn't have time to procrastinate.

29/8/2018 03:10:42 pm

Thanks Maureen. 'Be good to ourselves.' This is where I believe positive psychology can be very useful. For instance, I worked with an English language student recently who was berating himself for having made, in his view, so little progress with his studies. The harder he was on himself, the less he could find energy and motivation to do what, at heart, he wanted and needed to do. He was procrastinating.

I worked with him to reflect on his language journey to date: where he had started, what he could now do that he could not do before, how far he had progressed, what had made the greatest positive difference for him so far etc. This shifted the focus from where he had 'failed' to what he had achieved. He left the conversation brimming with fresh confidence, hope and motivation to continue. One week later, he had already taken significant steps forward.

Mads Pleman Rossau

27/8/2018 02:02:21 am

I resonate with what you are talking about in the post, having too much going on in the back of our minds and feeling with the task on hand is too big. Thank you for the tip you give in the post.

27/8/2018 02:03:40 am

Thanks Mads. I like your comment, 'having too much going on in the back of our minds.' It reminded me of a satirical poster I saw on Facebook yesterday: 'My mind is like my internet browser. 19 tabs open, 3 of them are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from'! 😃

Ram Kumar

28/8/2018 12:26:33 pm

Hi Nick.. Is the ' urgent ' important or 'important ' urgent... people procrastinate because they don't identify the difference... Thanks for sharing.. Good read.

28/8/2018 12:36:15 pm

Thanks Ram. My sense is that, sometimes, people do identify the urgent and the important and yet still, at times, hesitate to do them. This is where exploring, understanding and addressing underlying psychological, cultural and/or contextual (e.g. systemic) dynamics can be useful.

Anne De Smet

28/8/2018 08:24:14 pm

I once wrote a blog about this same issue, which is indeed an often seen complaint with coaching clients; http://momentum-coaching.eu/en/everything-you-always-wanted-to-know-about-procrastination-but-kept-procrastinating-to-look-up
What I have also noticed is that procrastination most often occurs with people who are what Gretchen Rubin describes as Rebels in her book 'Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of our Everyday Life'.
What has helped for clients with procrastination issues is to dig into their values and Life Purpose. When you can really bring them in touch with their own resonance, and act as an accountability partner for them, you often get them in action.
Another approach which I find valuable but which can be lengthy is the method described in 'Immunity to Change' by Kegan & Lahey. Often there's a hidden commitment and deeply rooted assumption preventing them to start doing what in their core, they long for but never seem to achieve.

28/8/2018 08:31:21 pm

Hi Anne and thanks for sharing such interesting comments. Can you say something more about 'Rebels'? That sounds fascinating! Yes, I believe that sometimes digging deeper into life purpose can make a significant difference to intrinsic motivation and, therefore, to movement forward in practice. I like your link to 'Immunity to Change' - I hadn't made that connection.

Anuraag Surany Raman

22/11/2018 11:32:03 am

This really resonated with me, especially point 4 - I have a tendency to overthink at times.. so much that I postpone the task or just end up getting tired with the excessive mind work. Thanks for posting!

22/11/2018 11:32:35 am

Hi Anuraag. Thanks for such an honest and personal response!