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Pushing the boundaries

21/5/2013

18 Comments

 
​It was really muddy this weekend and the woodland tracks were almost impassable. Almost. It’s precisely the almost-ness that makes this sport so challenging and exhilarating. I’m not that skilled on a mountain bike. I can do enough to complete rough tracks on hilly ground without falling off too often. Last year I went over the handlebars, not on purpose, when I hit a tree root hidden by bracken. It left me breathless, yet the element of risk adds to the thrill and adventure.

Each time I go out, I get that bit better. My legs get stronger and I improve my balance. I skip over a log where before I would have stepped off the bike to lift it over. I wince less when I get caught by brambles, digging their thorns through my trousers and shirt. I get a better sense of which puddles to ride through and which to avoid. I push on ahead whereas in earlier days I might have given up. I’m improving my stamina, my fitness and my biking technique – and it feels great.

Spurred on by a friend who has also joined this cycling sport, I signed up this week for a sponsored ride for a UK charity (http://www.justgiving.com/Nick-Wright40). It’s a stretching target for me, the longest distance I will have ridden since I was 15. It feels like testing myself, seeing what I’m capable of, paving the way perhaps to even greater challenges in the future. I think that’s where the fun is, that ‘not sure if I can make it’ feeling combined with a gritted determination to succeed. 
 
I’m reminded of leadership, of parenting and of coaching. How can we keep ourselves and others at the cutting edge, the edge where we and they feel stretched and challenged yet most alive? How can we motivate ourselves and others to keep growing, to keep pushing boundaries of experience without feeling over-stretched or snapping? How can we develop our own and others’ resilience to persevere and to reach new heights that we or they would never have dreamed possible?
18 Comments
Bridget
21/5/2013 06:12:48 am

Hi Nick, Thanks for inspiring blog! That's the 2nd inspiring encounter in one day. I had lunch with a friend, who really inspired my faith which I am "exercising" more and more on a daily basis with amazing results. Feels similar to your cycling journey.

Your journey towards physical stamina is really inspiring and gives me hope of achieving more than I think I can. (I'm a bit behind you on this one!)

The other day I heard a prominent leader say that "leaders open people's minds to more possibilities which allows the Holy Spirit to take hold of their imagination".

Well done for doing that and I will certainly be sponsoring you. Great cause and a great idea!

Blessings, B

Reply
Nick Wright
1/6/2013 01:05:27 am

Hi Bridget and thanks for such encouraging feedback. Your note about 'exercising' your faith reminded me of a comment in the new testament of the Bible: 'Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come.' (1 Tim 4:8). Would you be willing to say more about what exercising faith looks like in practice and to share some examples of the 'amazing results' you have experienced? With thanks and best wishes. Nick

Reply
Bridget
16/6/2013 10:13:13 am

Hi Nick
I’m far from an expect in exercising my faith. However, recently I have once more become aware of how much I operate in my own strength, listening to my own rational wisdom or even other people’s wisdom rather than my own intuition (which often comes from the Holy Spirit within me) or the whisper of God. It’s not easy to discern what is God, what is you, what is something else. Being still and allowing yourself time to really experience the Lord’s presence and the inner promptings, which are often quite gentle, seem key to the process in my experience.
My recent examples are quite ordinary in some ways but demonstrate where I have chosen to please God rather than man (woman). I recently suffered a really bad bout of illness which knocked me off my feet. This was very inconvenient for me and my employer at quite a difficult time. It would have been easy for me to return to work before I was well and felt quite indulgent staying off until I was fully recovered. I nearly went back to work early but when I thought of doing so, the peace I had found in my inner being was replaced by a very uneasy feeling. I think if I had not experienced this, my sense of false-guilt or need for approval from my colleagues would have caused me to return prematurely which would have been bad for my health. Whilst I was off-sick and resting I felt at peace and was able to listen to more inner promptings from the Lord. I was becoming more aware of possibilities and ideas for my upcoming “sabbatical”. I sensed that the Lord wanted to start opening my mind to things at this time.
What I’ve noticed is that as I follow the inner promptings (whilst testing them against scripture and making sure I am not causing pain to others in my actions), life seems to get lighter and more hopeful and when I ignore them, I feel unease and sometimes a dullness in my spirit. These are small things but quite significant as feeling hopeful fuels more action and more faith. As I exercise my faith, more and more, daring to trust the Lord that I follow, I imagine that more and bigger possibilities will emerge, beyond myself.
I hope this make sense, Nick and was what you were looking for.
With many blessings
B

Lisa Pascoe
21/5/2013 01:47:48 pm

HI Nick, what a great event to have been involved in! So how do we keep ourselves on the cutting edge you ask? By removing boundaries, by bringing solutions, by fighting harder in our darkest times, by providing support where needed - and by keeping that important personal humility that reminds each and every one of us that as individuals we are strong but as a team we are stronger.

Reply
Nick Wright
1/6/2013 01:15:20 am

Hi Lisa and thanks for the thoughtful comments. I haven't taken part in the sponsored ride yet...it's in mid-July so I'm still building myself up for it! I liked the examples you shared, particularly around the value of providing support and of team. It reminded me of the great difference that facing challenge as a shared endeavour can make. With best wishes. Nick

Reply
Clive bacon
22/5/2013 05:05:45 am

I found this encouraging as yesterday I was feeling stretched. Will this work out, I'm out of my comfort zone. The possibility of failure can cause you to shrink back but it's that very same chance of failing that makes what you're doing worthwhile. Anyone can do the safe, easy thing!

Reply
Nick Wright
1/6/2013 08:56:17 am

Hi Clive. I'm pleased you found it encouraging. It's true, I think, that many new experiences that stretch our boundaries carry the risk of failure...and also the possibility of success. It often comes down to what decision we are willing to take in the moment. I'm interested in what makes different people take different decisions in what appear to be the same situations. Some leap into the unknown whereas others shrink back. Sometimes the same person acts differently in similar situations at different times of his or her life. I find it intriguing. With best wishes. Nick

Reply
Joanna link
22/5/2013 09:29:51 am

Boundaries are a great topic - but maybe it is more helpful to think of them as creative edges rather than cutting edges - the point where 'things' get blurred and new possibilities emerge, rather than the sharpness implied by a blade. There is some really interesting work done on motivation and danger by Michael Apter its worth taking a look at.

Reply
Nick Wright
1/6/2013 09:00:33 am

Hi Joanna and thanks for the note. Your comments on edges reminded me of a blog I found very inspiring by Rho Sandberg. See: http://www.nick-wright.com/1/post/2013/04/the-edge-of-experience.html. I found your comments on creative vs cutting interesting. I guess there are situations where cutting can be associated with break through or release. Thanks for the reference to Michael Apter's work on motivation and danger - did you have a particular book in mind? Sounds fascinating! With thanks and best wishes. Nick

Reply
Lisa Zaccagnini
23/5/2013 12:53:06 pm

Hi Nick. There are those tried and true methods that as coaches we use all the time like, keeping the client's agenda, staying present, asking powerful although sometimes uncomfortable questions, empathy. In tying into your article I think the act and desire to push ourselves to see what we are made of first has to come from deep within our core; being ready in every way to do such daring things. It is asking of ourselves to take a leap of faith and no matter the outcome to deeply accept and own the ecstatic experience.

Each step we take adds power to the next step. Our story of triumph or even "try" gives us the leadership power to help someone else in their quest of daring and leaps. Taking the unsure feelings and combining it with the grit and determination you speak so well of in your article is the first and most important push on the pedal of life in order to make things happen, in order for our story to really be something to tell. Holding on to the initial feeling that got us started feeds into the next phase or step in our journey. It doesn't hurt anything at all to have a partner, like a coach or friend, along for the ride to keep momentum going.

Reply
Nick Wright
1/6/2013 09:09:30 am

Hi Lisa and thanks for posting such an inspiring response. I really liked your emphasis on daring and leaps. It's as if each time we summon up the desire and courage to push through a personal boundary, it can strengthen us to take the next step forward. One of the roles and challenges for a coach is to help a person discover what matters most to them, what edges they want to expand, what risks they are willing to take, how they can cope with failure when things go wrong etc.

I liked your comment about having a partner along for the ride. I've found this valuable in so many aspects of my life and work. I've chosen to ride with a friend for the sponsored event so we can share the experience of training beforehand, face the challenge on the day, urge each other forward and look back on the experience together. With thanks again and best wishes. Nick

Reply
Jen Gash
23/5/2013 12:54:09 pm

Lovely blog Nick - I have just tweeted it:) Enjoy the ride.

Reply
Nick Wright
1/6/2013 09:10:28 am

Wow - thanks for your words of encouragement, Jen! With best wishes. Nick

Reply
Clara Pracana PhD MBA
1/6/2013 02:12:50 pm

Very good post, Nick. I liked the image of staying on the cutting edge. In fact, it reminded me of Somerset Maugham's book. The art of keeping challenged and streched is indeed worth learning.

Reply
Nick Wright
1/6/2013 02:14:04 pm

Hi Clara and thanks for the encouraging feedback. I haven't come across Somerset Maugham...did you have a particular book in mind? I would be intersted to hear more. With best wishes. Nick

Reply
Clara Pracana PhD MBA
2/6/2013 08:16:28 pm

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Razors-Edge-Vintage-Classics-ebook/dp/B0031RS73G/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1370203802&sr=1-1&keywords=the+razors+edge

Best
Clara

Nick Wright
2/6/2013 08:17:20 pm

Thanks Clara! Best wishes. Nick

Kizi 3 Game link
5/3/2014 08:22:47 pm

Happy to see your blog as it is just what I’ve looking for and excited to read all the posts. I am looking forward to another great article from you.

Reply



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    ​Nick Wright

    ​I'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? ​Get in touch!

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