NICK WRIGHT
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Racoonish

21/7/2016

80 Comments

 
​‘What language does a racoon speak?’ This young girl looked at me intently, clearly expecting an answer. I felt compelled to respond quickly, in the moment. ‘I don’t know. I guess…Racoonish?’ That seemed to satisfy her curiosity, at least for now. The thing that struck me most in this brief encounter was her wide-eyed, uninhibited enthusiasm for exploration, discovery and learning. She clearly felt unfettered by adult-type assumptions, e.g. by a belief that she should already know.
​
I sat in an HR team meeting where participants became preoccupied with how best to store annual leave request forms. They proposed various systems and procedures and evaluated them for their relative pros and cons. As the conversation progressed, along with the time it was taking for the team to resolve this, I felt increasingly curious and bemused and so interjected, quite innocently, ‘Why do you keep annual leave forms?’ Blank faces all around. Oh. End of that item. Move on.

But what was going on here? These were bright people in professional roles. A real risk is that ‘professionalism’ can lead to ever-increasing demands for sophistication. Instead of asking simple questions, seeking simple solutions, we can become too complex, too complicated and miss key issues and ideas that lay hidden in plain sight. We associate child-likeness with childishness and therein lies a big mistake and a lost opportunity. Jesus said, ‘Be like children’. I say, ‘Amen.’

So here is a suggested antidote. A colleague describes coaching as the ‘art of the obvious’. There is important truth in that. When we face a situation, whether in leadership, OD or coaching, ask, ‘What would a child ask?’ (or even better, ask a child), ‘What’s the most obvious question that we’re not asking ourselves?’ e.g. ‘Why on earth are we doing this?’ Be willing to laugh and experiment too: ‘What would be the most radical, unorthodox, playful, creative solution to this?’ Give it a try!
80 Comments
Cath Norris, MA, BA, Dip Couns
21/7/2016 05:07:32 pm

Yes!

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Nick Wright
21/7/2016 05:08:20 pm

Thanks Cath. Yes! to which bit in particular? :) All the best. Nick

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Gareth Russell
21/7/2016 11:47:03 pm

Great stuff, Nick. I really enjoyed the distinction between childlike-ness and childishness. I've seen some very intelligent people act dismissively towards questions they didn't consider 'intelligent enough' to be merit worthy.

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Nick Wright
21/7/2016 11:48:34 pm

Many thanks, Gareth. I think what you describe demonstrates well the difference between 'intelligence' and 'wisdom'..! All the best. Nick

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Lisa Bakker
25/7/2016 11:25:43 am

Website does noet allow me to triple like this post.
Awesome truth, packaged in a great manner...great pick of image
Inspiring start of the week. Tnx!

Reply
Nick Wright
25/7/2016 11:26:43 am

Thanks for such inspiring feedback, Lisa! :) All the best and have a great week. Nick

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Lisa Bakker
25/7/2016 03:00:33 pm

Before addressing your question Nick....
Here a new word that came up ...Simplex ;-)
the ability to stay connected to simple when inside complexity

seems like a valuable future skill - simplex - to add to the coach toolbox ;-)

Nick Wright
25/7/2016 03:01:46 pm

Hi Lisa. 'Simplex'. I love it!! You could develop that as a brand. :) Thanks for sharing your moment of inspiration! All the best. Nick

Lisa Bakker
25/7/2016 03:23:21 pm

Hey Nick, tnx!
Yep could follow up on your suggestion, I'd rather co-create the word into a coaching movement.....coaching for the new civilization :-)
anybody....?

Ramesh Sood
25/7/2016 12:12:10 pm

I am so happy to have read it.. Resonates with me a lot.. I love to keep things extremely simple because actually they are. Like someone said, " I can't get up early to go to Gym. What should I do?".. My reply was, " Get up early..and only you can do that. You have to get up early and go. So yes, get up early.. ".. Simple. Yet complicated gets appreciated. If I had replied him with a full essay which in any case he would not have remembered, I might have got an applause from him.. Simple couldn't get that appreciation.. RS

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Nick Wright
25/7/2016 12:20:13 pm

Hi Ramesh. Thanks for sharing such a great example from personal experience. I think you raise an interesting point that people often associate greater complexity with greater value. This can drive a professional practitioner to use, say, more complicated language or to prescribe more complex-sounding solutions in order to create confidence in the client. The risk here is that, in the kind of situation you described here, the professional can inadvertently collude with the client. In my experience, sometimes complexity is needed. Sometimes, simple is good and enough. The wisdom lays in knowing the difference. All the best. Nick

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Elizabeth Margaret Godgson
25/7/2016 03:02:39 pm

So true we do often get caught up in the process we don't even know what the issue or the reason is . Maybe we all need the inquisitive raccoon posted as a reminder .

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Nick Wright
25/7/2016 03:06:24 pm

Thanks Elizabeth. Yes, I think that if, as a coach, we are feeling 'caught up in the process' (or in the client's story), it can serve as a cautionary note that we've lost the plot, have allowed ourselves to step out of role or to get too drawn into detail. The metaphor of 'wood and trees' comes to mind. I'm pleased the racoon picture is proving to be such a source of inspiration! :) All the best. Nick

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Yolanda Gray
25/7/2016 03:07:01 pm

Excellent; something I've been thinking about as I am learning to sharpen my coaching skills.

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Nick Wright
25/7/2016 03:08:06 pm

Thanks Yolanda. I'm curious - which aspect have you been thinking about? I'm interested to hear more...and to sharpen my coaching skills too. All the best. Nick

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Yolanda Gray
25/7/2016 07:30:05 pm

Nick Wright, this is what I was referring to from Lisa's excellent post--"professionalism’ can lead to ever-increasing demands for sophistication. Instead of asking simple questions, seeking simple solutions, we can become too complex, too complicated and miss key issues and ideas that lay hidden in plain sight. We associate child-likeness with childishness and therein lies a big mistake and a lost opportunity. Jesus said, ‘Be like children’. I say, ‘Amen.’ The art of the obvious...I love this!

I've been involved in coaching since the early 2000's and it seems to be getting more and more complex, everyone screaming the lingo, best practice, getting bogged down in the details of how-to, it's been a job to weed it all out and go back to true communication. Listening, reflecting and allowing the person to come to their solutions with a little coaching from their coach.

Nick Wright
25/7/2016 07:37:05 pm

Hi Yolanda. I can certainly relate to that. I worked for a couple of years recently with Claire Pedrick at 3D Coaching (http://www.3dcoaching.com/about-3d/3d-our-people/claire-pedrick-mcc) and was really struck by Claire's emphasis on keeping it simple. Minimal interventions, e.g. So..., And..., Go on..., And now..? without getting drawn into the client's story. I learned a lot from Claire and it has helped me to focus more on process than content in my own coaching practice. All the best. Nick

Nick Wright
25/7/2016 07:45:58 pm

P.S. Yolanda. I was just reminded of this quotation that Claire introduced me to: 'Learn your theories as well as you can - but put them aside when you touch the miracle of the living soul.' (Carl Jung) That strikes me as poignant in this discussion too. All the best. Nick

mohan srivastava
25/7/2016 03:09:33 pm

Excellently put across a simple problem of corporate sector. we need leave from work to support our family needs. Say parents. teacher meet where both are needed not for school but to know children attitude and if we ignore than we are to be blamed in case children fail to become good citizens.
Early age we didn't have common language yet people communicated with eyes and heart. lets take modern age I go as tourists and fall in love with a girl who can not understand due language barriers but we do communicate. How love does not need language.
In corporate world there are rules and people are trained regularly to flow in work stream. Bharatiya UPNISHADS essence of Bharatiya philosophy states clearly societal rules and they become complex as we ride the ladder of hierarchy. So we have to abide with set rules but in case we understand language of heart we can run a happy team of motivated subordinates.
Complexities thus we can make simple Regards.

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Nick Wright
25/7/2016 03:14:26 pm

Thanks Mohan. I love your idea of communicating with eyes and heart. It avoids being draw into over-complicated language. You may be interested in this short piece I wrote on a similar theme to that which you are proposing: http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/see-hear-sense Let me know what you think? All the best. Nick

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John b. May
25/7/2016 04:05:25 pm

Why think in human terms? They can certainly 'communicate' with eachother and with us with sounds,inflections,facial expressions and body language (like all animals,including us)

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Nick Wright
25/7/2016 04:27:28 pm

Thanks John. You are talking about racoons (not HR professionals), right? ;) Perhaps that's what it is to 'speak' racoonish. Transposing that metaphor into organisational life, perhaps there's something there about paying attention to unspoken language. Words can convey, create and, at times, get in the way of human relationships and meaning. You may find this related piece interesting? http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/see-hear-sense Let me know if that resonates with the point you are making? All the best. Nick

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Yolanda Gray
26/7/2016 09:31:54 am

Thanks, Nick. I've had some great story-tellers for clients haha and it's so easy to listen intently like I'm watching a movie; I have had to not let it go there. Thank you for your insights here.

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Nick Wright
26/7/2016 09:33:36 am

Well done, Yolanda. Easier said than done sometimes! Let me know what you think of this short piece - if it resonates with your experience and practice too? http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/just-enough All the best. Nick

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Yolanda Gray
26/7/2016 02:55:39 pm

Thank you everyone for your comments; this is all helping me to become a better coach. Nick I read the article you suggested. Right on. In my world we use the term enmeshed--you used embedded--unhealthy entanglement either way. And it serves no one. Thank you.

Lisa Bakker
26/7/2016 09:34:49 am

What beautiful words...."the miracle of the living soul"

Understanding process vs content is such a gift a coach brings to the table. Imho it is greatly underestimated, whilst it has the potential to catapult a client into "the flow" ...or rather enable them to embrace themselves as "that miracle"...

Can only imagine Nick how the work Claire does must have deepened your own. Tnx for the link.

Reply
Nick Wright
26/7/2016 09:39:37 am

Thanks Lisa. Yes, I love those words too. One of my favourite process questions from Claire is, 'If we were do do something really useful right now, what would we be doing?' It's a great contracting question that ensures the responsibility is shared with the client, not left with the coach. All the best. Nick

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Sally Humphries
26/7/2016 01:19:46 pm

This is probably the best article I have read in a very long time. Thank you Nick. Excellent!

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Nick Wright
26/7/2016 01:20:59 pm

Wow - thank you, Sally. That is probably the most encouraging response I've read in a very long time! :) All the best. Nick

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Anne Goodridge
26/7/2016 08:04:45 pm

A wonderful post...ask the simple question....coaching at it's best.

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Nick Wright
26/7/2016 08:05:50 pm

Many thanks, Anne. Much appreciated! Yes, I think in the coaching community, we need to get past the idea that simple = simplistic. All the best. Nick

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Larry Tyler
27/7/2016 02:57:05 pm

Eyes, heart and soul

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Nick Wright
27/7/2016 02:57:40 pm

Thanks Larry. Say more..? All the best. Nick

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Nicki Eyre
27/7/2016 04:29:20 pm

Great post. I hope you've let the young girl know how much she inspired you - and the rest of us!

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Nick Wright
27/7/2016 04:30:00 pm

Thanks Nicki. Yes - she is pleasantly surprised! :) All the best. Nick

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Jacqueline Mays
27/7/2016 10:00:15 pm

I totally agree with your insights, Nick. Thomas King's "The Authenticity of Cant" takes the idea of simplicity even further by demonstrating how language can be used to include some people while excluding others. While some "sophisticated professionals" might see themselves as speaking the language of their profession, such an action can speak to others, such as potential customers of the general public, as elitism.
Using the RIGHT word rather than the most complex goes a long way toward generating genuine, long-standing relationships, both professionally and personally!

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Nick Wright
27/7/2016 10:02:30 pm

Thanks Jacqueline. I'm curious. I haven't heard of King's work. Can you say a bit more about what, 'The Authenticity of Can't' means in practice - any examples? All the best. Nick

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Monah Crenn
27/7/2016 10:03:43 pm

What Mohan is saying really gives depth into life perception, back into a forgotten reality that words dont speak the truth, but eyes and hearts do.
It's totally romantic to read you say you fell in love with someone you can't communicate with but still the truth spoke through the eyes.
In a professional environment, we have to talk, we are trained to talk, whereas most of the time we just need to be there for the job and for our team.

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Nick Wright
27/7/2016 10:08:11 pm

Thanks Monah. Your comments reminded me of this very short reflective piece I wrote a while ago: http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/something-about-the-eyes Let me know if it resonates for you too? All the best. Nick

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Monah Crenn
28/7/2016 02:16:46 pm

We do no longer dare to make eye contact in the train or in the street and of course we can no longer smile unless the person thinks back we are trying to get something on a selfish level!
But I do stare at people, I need it sometimes, to feel I'm not alone, not the only one having life as it is.
People dont look in the eyes because it's easier to see what's in our heart, and our heart is most of the time so fragile, needs a whole body to protect it...

Nick Wright
28/7/2016 02:24:43 pm

Thanks Monah. I love the way you are able to express your insights and experiences so incredibly honestly and evocatively. I particularly liked your comment, 'I do stare at people, I need it sometimes, to feel I'm not alone, not the only one having life as it is.' In Gestalt language, it sounds like reaching towards, inviting in, making 'contact' at the deepest psychological, physical, spiritual and emotional levels. Joseph Zinker wrote a book called, 'Creative Process in Gestalt Therapy'. You may like some of the insights, experiences and experiments he describes there? All the best. Nick

Monah Crenn
30/7/2016 11:25:35 am

Indeed it resonates in my heart, we became like wild beasts, incapable to just feel and understand that the other ones are just like us. On the other side of these eyes, a reality similar to all of us: a desire to exist. When do I exist? When You look at me, make eye contact and let it go without this constant fear of judgement or threat.
I often watch people in the train. I know the reality behind our suits or pretty dresses. I know the reality behind those scared eyes not able to keep contact gently and trustfully. I know all Your secrets. Makes them feel trapped sometimes, but sometimes We are lucky and exchange a friendly smile, luckier to say something nice such as "I love your hair", "do you want a loaf of bread?"
Dare to stare, dare to let kindness out of your heart, and it all starts with eyes contact.
On your article, one commented on animal glance. My cat used to never make eye contact for years. One day he feel seriously sick, was saved: during his convalescence period, I stood by him and since then, he makes eye contact with me, like a sign of trust.

Nick Wright
30/7/2016 11:30:30 am

Hi Monah. I love your comment: 'Dare to stare, dare to let kindness out of your heart, and it all starts with eyes contact.' It makes me reflect on how I feel to be looked at in this way, to receive another person's gaze. So much depends on the person (or the cat!), the look in their eyes, my relationship to them, the trust I feel, what sense I make of the gaze. Very powerful. All the best. Nick

Ginger A. Christmas
30/7/2016 11:34:15 am

Monah - Dare to stare, dare to let kindness out of your heart, and it all starts with eyes contact. ~~~I love this. G

Ginger A. Christmas
28/7/2016 11:09:52 am

Nick, your piece is brilliant, showing the essence of simplicity with common sense woven in. I will remember your writing for some time. By the way, I have it on good authority Raccoons speak "coon". ~G

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Nick Wright
28/7/2016 11:10:53 am

Wow - thanks for such heartwarming feedback, Ginger. And for clarifying racoon-speak! :) All the best. Nick

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Janet Johnson, CHRL
28/7/2016 05:01:01 pm

Love this - so true!!!

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Nick Wright
28/7/2016 05:01:30 pm

Thanks Janet! :) All the best. Nick

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René van Stein
28/7/2016 07:05:23 pm

I like the 'racoonish' approach 😉 and the 'use your inner child questioning'. Nice article.

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Nick Wright
28/7/2016 07:06:49 pm

Hi René and thanks for the note. I think 'use your inner child questioning' is a nice way of putting it! All the best. Nick

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Marlies Cohen
28/7/2016 07:28:59 pm

Thank you, this is very helpful and will provide a lot of insight.

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Nick Wright
28/7/2016 07:30:26 pm

Thanks Marlies. I do hope so! All the best. Nick

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Jeffrey Sprick
29/7/2016 08:57:22 am

That's a great article. Thanks for sharing!

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Nick Wright
29/7/2016 08:57:59 am

Thanks for the encouraging feedback, Jeffrey! All the best. Nick

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Dr. Mary A. Adeniyi, GCDF, CPC
29/7/2016 09:04:53 am

I love this article, especially the statement, "professionalism can lead to ever-increasing demands for sophistication." Either from self-imposed pressure, or from competition in the workplace, we often want to prove our knowledge and expertise. And instead of sometimes just taking a step back and asking "why," we immediately jump to "how," and compete with one another to come up with the best solutions. Having that child'like curiosity and simplistic thinking sometimes is the best answer.

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Nick Wright
29/7/2016 09:09:30 am

Hi Mary and thanks for the kind feedback. I like your comment, 'from self-imposed pressure, or from competition...we want to prove our knowledge and expertise.' It resonates well with some reflections I posted along similar lines in this short piece: http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/down-to-earth-with-a-slap Let me know if it reflects anything of your experience too? All the best. Nick

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Widya Novita
29/7/2016 09:10:18 am

I totally agree with you. many...many problems arise because many people simply forget to question the ultimate why before working out the solution.

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Nick Wright
29/7/2016 09:12:12 am

Thanks Widya. Yes, it's certainly true in my experience that, in our rush to create clever and impressive solutions, we sometimes forget to ask even the most basic questions! All the best. Nick

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Susan McNeal Velasquez
30/7/2016 11:19:03 am

I am in high appreciation of you right this very minute. I just got off of a group consultation with 4 brilliant scientists who are combining their talents to solve a weighty product challenge for an international company. I am the group facilitator. Just before we ended the call, I gave them an assignment for next week. I asked that they imagine this is a horse race, pick their #1 horse and give as much detail as possible why that is their pick. Then I hung up and held my head and said: "What was I thinking?" and proceeded to give the reins to my inner critic. Then I read your contribution. As a result, I am 'back in my skin.' Thank you!

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Nick Wright
30/7/2016 11:24:23 am

Hi Susan and thanks for sharing such an intriguing personal experience. I'm curious - what was it about that comment and situation that left you holding your head? I love your comment, 'What was I thinking?' I have felt that same feeling so many times! All the best. Nick

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Manu Garabi
30/7/2016 11:31:41 am

I like this topic of being simple as it makes life a lot easier to cope with. Thanks Nick for your simple and straight forward article.. I will follow your article.

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Nick Wright
30/7/2016 11:33:18 am

Thank you for your kind feedback, Manu. If you are interested, you can subscribe to this and similar blogs by entering your email address in the box at the top right of the screen: http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/raccoonish All the best. Nick

Reply
Piper Purdon
30/7/2016 11:35:12 am

The essence of being heard comes from willingness to be vulnerable - speak up and keep it simple...check the egos and recognise everyone has a part to play.

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Nick Wright
30/7/2016 11:35:41 am

Good advice, Piper. All the best. Nick

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Milind Gokhale
30/7/2016 11:36:38 am

Hello Nick, brilliant piece that you have shared and an interesting topic. I personally feel that everything that one thinks about, may that be ones life, processes, practices etc. They can be made as simple, that one could not even imagine. But often, it's us that make them extensively complex and become a victim of self creations. I guess the reason that we make almost everything complex possibly lies in the fact that we try to find one common solution for all possible issues that may arise in future based on few experienced in the past. We often tend to get a quick solution without really putting serious efforts to analyse a new situation. That's where we get into a habit of "Following our Patterns".

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Nick Wright
30/7/2016 11:43:31 am

Thanks, Milind, for such encouraging feedback on the post. I think your insights are very wise. Yes, there is always a risk that we draw simplistic conclusions from past experiences and apply them uncritically to new situations. You reminded me of an insight I read this week in a book called 'The Wild Gospel' by Alison Morgan. Commenting on Jesus, she says, 'Jesus' focus was on the individual - but the individual within a precise set of circumstances.' In other words, there's something about approaching each person, each situation, in a spirit of openness to all its uniqueness rather than superimposing blanket solutions that, in your good words, 'follow our patterns'. All the best. Nick

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Ingrid de Jong
30/7/2016 11:45:07 am

A wonderful post! Very useful. Thank you Nick!
And @René I like the "use your inner child questioning"!

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Nick Wright
30/7/2016 11:46:18 am

Many thanks for your very affirming feedback, Ingrid! :) And yes, I agree: René expressed that beautifully. All the best. Nick

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Irv Rubin, Ph.D.
1/8/2016 02:37:34 pm

Graet6 article. I'd like to add a different slant. Perhaps the underlying issue lies in the lethal nature of a false dichotomy we have so deeply embedded in our thinking. Specifically that being a ' good professional' and being a 'good human being' are somehow different from one another. I can share a few papers, off line, if anyone is interested. Irv <Irv.rubin@thebehaviorminder.com>

Reply
Nick Wright
1/8/2016 02:43:37 pm

Hi Irv and thanks for the note. I think that's a good point about the false dichotomy. In the UK, we have come to associate 'professional' with 'detached' - a kind of clinical behavioural model that removes humanity from the equation. Thankfully, this has changed quite dramatically in recent years, e.g. via the 'personalisation' agenda in the UK's health & social care sector. It's as if we're rediscovering our humanity and the value that can bring in all kinds of professional roles and relationships. I'm very thankful for that!! All the best. Nick

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Giovanni Sgobaro
1/8/2016 02:38:31 pm

@Nick, both posts resonate with my reflection on what is expected from a consultant... My clients look quite puzzled when they see I'm not supportive of the nth "magic tool" that is supposed to make them look more professional, structured, best-practice oriented and... yes, sophisticated. My point is that by addressing complex issues with complex or complicated tools, you just make things more complex!

Reply
Nick Wright
1/8/2016 02:48:34 pm

Thanks Giovanni. I think that's a great point about complexity. It's as if we tend to assume that a complex situation demands an equally complex analysis and solution...whereas often the opposite is true. It's so easy to focus on the proverbial trees and, in doing so, to lose sight of the proverbial wood. I think this is where fields such as solutions-focused coaching have made such a valuable contribution. All the best. Nick

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Rowan Ingpen
2/8/2016 09:30:31 am

Excellent post!

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Nick Wright
2/8/2016 09:31:04 am

Thanks for such encouraging feedback, Rowan! All the best. Nick

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Catalina Bonnet Parodi
2/8/2016 01:27:09 pm

I love this!

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Nick Wright
2/8/2016 01:27:54 pm

Hi Catalina. I'm pleased! :) Thank you for your kind feedback. All the best. Nick

Reply
Annette Williams
2/8/2016 08:06:52 pm

Love this post. Thanks for sharing this :)

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Nick Wright
2/8/2016 08:07:41 pm

Many thanks, Annette! :) All the best. Nick

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Funmi Johnson
3/8/2016 12:35:02 pm

Very much a case of "can't see the wood for the trees". I had a very interesting session with a client where we explored the difference between being childlike and childish and why being childlike could actually be a good thing.

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Nick Wright
3/8/2016 12:37:04 pm

Hi Funmi and thanks for the note. Yes, I think there are similarities between childish vs childlike and simplistic vs simple. I'm interested: what did you and your client associate with these words and what conclusions did you draw? All the best. Nick

Reply



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    ​Nick Wright

    ​I'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? ​Get in touch!

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