‘How can we make the snakes feel safe?’ The power of metaphor. Last week I worked with a group of trauma-informed practice experts. We were thinking about leading and influencing change in dynamically-complex relational systems such as teams and organisations. I shared the image of a snakes-and-ladders game board as a way both of depicting the realities of such change experiences and as a way of managing expectations. Whilst playing with possible meanings for the snakes, the ladders and the game as a whole, we explored how, at times, those people or groups we may view as passive, blocking or undermining vis a vis our own plans may be acting out of anxiety. I was reminded of Richard Young’s two key questions in the organisation development (OD) arena: ‘Where's the power and how is it exercised?’ ‘Where's the anxiety and how does it manifest itself?’ In my experience, we may discover anxiety in all dimensions of human systems. Take, for instance, the leader who is feeling pressured by multiple tasks and demands and worried that the well-meaning initiative you are proposing will be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Or the team member who is worried that the change you are advocating will increase her responsibilities and leave her feeling inadequate, deskilled or exhausted. I worked with a new senior leader who, in our monthly meetings, would ask me lots of very detailed financial questions. I found it time-consuming and stressful because, although I felt confident in managing my budget, I wasn’t used to reporting at such micro levels. Over time, I began to wonder if I might inadvertently have started to represent a snake in his system…and he in mine. At our next meeting, I asked what he would need from me to give him sufficient trust and confidence in my financial management that I wouldn’t need to report like this in subsequent months. He said: ‘If you were to report using financial language.’ I discovered that, as a Finance Director by background and accountable for my area at Executive level, my limited use of financial language had evoked anxiety in him that I may not have a grip on my team’s finances. I spoke with Finance, expanded my lexicon, reported briefly using his language at the next meeting – and we never returned to micro detail again. The principle here was to approach the person and the issue in an open spirit of curiosity, explore respective needs, identify tangible solutions, and apply them to practice. We both transformed from snakes into ladders and our relationship grew from strength to strength.
18 Comments
Stuart Barnes
15/2/2023 08:50:14 am
Hey Nick. What a great way reframing resistance to change. Thanks for sharing!
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Nick Wright
15/2/2023 09:14:53 am
Thanks Stuart. Yes, when I encounter apparent 'resistance to change', I ask myself a number of reflexive questions in a spirit of curiosity, such as:
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Alison Young
15/2/2023 08:52:13 am
Nick, I'm struck by your willingness to consider yourself as a snake. A good example of reflexivity.
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Nick Wright
15/2/2023 09:19:11 am
Thank you, Alison. Yes, developing critical reflexivity is a core element of my coaching and OD practice. I try to apply it to myself too! On that theme, these short pieces may be of interest?
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Mark Teasdale
15/2/2023 08:53:54 am
I like Richard Young's OD questions. Power and anxiety. A great place to start.
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Nick Wright
15/2/2023 09:44:32 am
Thanks Mark - and yes, I agree!
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Bernadette Watson
15/2/2023 08:57:12 am
Yikes! It would never have occurred to me to ask how to make the snake feel safe! What a thought provoking article. Thanks for writing it, Nick.
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Nick Wright
15/2/2023 09:47:09 am
Thank you, Bernadette - you're welcome. Yes, I hadn't considered that angle until a participant last week posed that question. It resonates with this short related piece that may be of interest too? https://www.nick-wright.com/blog/defences-against-anxiety
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Sam Faulkner
15/2/2023 08:59:14 am
I have to ask Nick. Did the FD learn your language too?
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Nick Wright
15/2/2023 09:50:37 am
Hi Sam. That's an interesting question. Yes, he did - over time - just as it took me a while to learn finance-speak too. :) At first, I remember him saying to me: "To be honest, Nick, I understand very little of what you say. Your language is completely alien to me. Having said that, I have seen and experienced first hand the power of what you do. It's like magic. Whatever it is you're doing - keep doing it!!" He, Peter, was a real star to work with.
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Angela Sanderson
15/2/2023 07:31:37 pm
Hi Nick. I love your approach to exploring needs. So different to taking opposing positions and arguing over who should change.
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Nick Wright
15/2/2023 07:38:55 pm
Thank you, Angela. I've learned over time that, if I'm experiencing push back from another person, it may reveal something about what I'm doing and how the other person is experiencing it. In other words, I may at times be evoking the response that I view and experience as problematic. If I can open myself to that possibility, I can also open a conversation about respective needs and potential solutions.
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Ellie Prince
15/2/2023 08:11:36 pm
Hey Nick. You’re talking about emotional intelligence and empathy, right? Great example.
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Nick Wright
15/2/2023 08:12:44 pm
Hi Ellie. Yes indeed - and thank you! 😃
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Rich Elmsworth
19/2/2023 09:30:00 am
I love a story with a happy ending. :) What to do, though, if the snake doesn't realise they're a snake...or they do realise and they don't care?
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Nick Wright
19/2/2023 09:38:14 am
Thank you, Rich. :) That's a great question. I share some insights and ideas here, based on two key exploratory questions vis a vis goals (‘What’s important to you that you’re trying to achieve?’) and values (‘What matters most to you in this?’).
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Lisa
19/2/2023 11:07:04 pm
Love this blog, Nick. I have only recently started to see the gold in the snakes themselves. Great to read about the concept so clearly and articulately.
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Nick Wright
20/2/2023 04:51:04 pm
Thank you, Lisa - and for such encouraging feedback! :)
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Nick WrightI'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? Get in touch! Like what you read? Simply enter your email address below to receive regular blog updates!
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