We often think of coaching as creating a special space for a person to step back, often quite literally, from the pressures of day to day work and life to think about things differently. Indeed, the space we create between coach and coachee offers a great opportunity for change.
Yet space is a bit like elastic. Too much space and coaching can feel slack and lifeless, without definition or form. Too much pace and it can feel rushed, superficial and forced. Navigating space and pace is part of the, ‘How shall we do this?’ contract between coach and coachee. The same question arises in leadership, training and facilitation. When to up the tempo, inject energy, move quickly. When to pause, breathe, process. It’s tricky in mixed groups. Activists want to get on with it. Suck it and see. Reflectors want space to observe it. Make sense of it. So I try to remember: just enough space to allow for reflection; just enough pace to keep things moving. It’s always a judgement call. How much space and pace does this person or group need - in this situation, at this time? If in doubt, discuss it openly and ask for feedback.
22 Comments
Sarah Clark
10/7/2015 05:56:33 am
I like to find out peoples learning styles at the start of the session, although these are fluid too. A balance of delivery that captures a range works well... My favourite moments are when a client takes charge of the flip chart pen! Lovely article nick .. Keep them coming!
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Nick Wright
10/7/2015 06:04:03 am
Hi Sarah,
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Sarah Clark
10/7/2015 07:51:28 am
Hi nick thanks will check that link out.
Nick Wright
10/7/2015 07:57:53 am
Hi Sarah. I haven't heard of VAK before. Is that similar to Honey & Mumford's learning styles? Since some people aren't familiar with the language of learning styles, I may as something like, 'What will enable you to get your best from this?' or 'How shall we do this?' It hadn't occurred to me to ask if anyone is colour blind. That's a good point - especially as I tend to use lots of different coloured pens on flipchart! With thanks again and best wishes. Nick
Sarah Clark
10/7/2015 09:35:08 am
Hi nick yes it is!
Sarah Clark
19/7/2015 09:02:19 am
Just read your article on a gestalt case study really great. I use a great deal of this in my crim justice work and in training probation officers have used chair work where they practice moving me out of denial with Socratic questions.
Nick Wright
19/7/2015 09:03:28 am
Excellent, Sarah - let us know how you get on! :) Nick
Julie Gouin
11/7/2015 04:10:23 am
Nicely put.
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Nick Wright
11/7/2015 04:10:52 am
Thanks Julia. :) Al the best. Nick
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Eddie Lau
12/7/2015 09:52:26 am
Thanks Nick for sharing, very useful tips!
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Nick Wright
12/7/2015 09:56:55 am
Hi Eddie and thanks for the note. Yes, being inclusive of different preferences and styles in a group is important - and can be difficult. It's one of the reasons why discussing with a group, 'How shall we do this?' or 'What way of doing this would work well for us?' can be helpful. If participants know in advance that these questions will be posed, it gives reflectors time to think beforehand. Alternatively, a group facilitator or leader can suggest something like, 'Let's pause for a moment and write down what would work well for us in this meeting' before discussing it as a group. As a friend of mine says, 'If you don't know what an introvert is thinking, it's because you haven't asked. If you don't know what an extrovert is thinking, it's because you haven't listened.' With best wishes. Nick
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Approaching the coaching conversation in a mindful way, being fully present and able to notice any shifts in thoughts, feeling and sensations. If you can introduce mindfulness to your clients early, then in future conversations you could both begin with a mindful settling exercise so that you both come together with your barriers down and your senses open.
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Nick Wright
19/7/2015 09:07:42 am
Hi Jon and thanks for the note. Mindfulness can be a great way of arriving and seeking to be present in the here and now. I guess the space and pace question is both how to tune into and, at times, influence the focus and state of the client - and the dynamic between coach and client? With best wishes. Nick
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Kim Ravida ACC CPC ELI-MP
19/7/2015 08:56:52 am
Thanks Nick for a great article with insight! I'm a high energy person so finding that balance was hard for me at first, once I understand that I needed to understand my client and how they processed, I was able to utilize the space and pace via my intuition. It hasn't failed me yet. Great article, I think that some coaches struggle with this.
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Nick Wright
19/7/2015 09:00:07 am
Hi Kim and thanks for the encouraging feedback. Yes, it can be quite an art form to find a way of matching our own energy with that of the client and, at times, mismatching it to evoke a different experience or response. Do you have any case examples you would be willing to share? With best wishes. Nick
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Doaa K
23/7/2015 05:32:38 am
Nice post Nick. Checkout this link too; it's got some awesome tips on how to juggle time versus space limitations:
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Nick Wright
23/7/2015 05:33:55 am
Thanks Doaa. With best wishes. Nick
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Jo Geraghty
24/7/2015 04:53:17 am
Interesting thoughts thanks. In this age of coaching and a move towards blended learning it is good to see the emphasis being placed on developing the person being coached rather than (as sadly still practiced by some) the focus being on training people to carry out tasks.
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Nick Wright
24/7/2015 04:56:04 am
Hi Jo and thanks for the note. I guess coaching sits well with core principles in adult learning: e.g. doing with rather than doing to. It also sits well with humanistic values concerning development of people, albeit with tasks for which they hold responsibility or aspire to do as a backdrop. With best wishes. Nick
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31/7/2015 02:34:44 am
It can be quite an art form to find a way of matching our own energy with that of the client and, at times, mismatching it to evoke a different experience or response. Do you have any case examples you would be willing to share? With best wishes. Nick
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Nick WrightI'm a psychological coach, trainer and OD consultant. Curious to discover how can I help you? Get in touch! Like what you read? Simply enter your email address below to receive regular blog updates!
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