Spirit

8/2/2018

‘I have three things I’d like to say today. First, while you were sleeping last night, 30,000 kids died of starvation or diseases related to malnutrition. Second, most of you don’t give a shit. What’s worse is that you’re more upset with the fact that I said shit than the fact that 30,000 kids died last night.’ (Tony Campolo)

The first time I heard those words some time ago, I was left speechless and reeling. Firstly, with the scale of the awfulness of the human tragedy and secondly – ashamedly – that I too was shocked to hear a Christian leader use the ‘S’ word. How easily we get distracted, preoccupied or fixated by things that really aren’t important and miss those that are. For those familiar with Jesus’ teaching, logs and splinters come sharply to mind. My last blog, ‘Whatever’, touched on a similar theme.

I visited the Philippines for the first time in 2016. I had visited and worked in various other countries in South East Asia with international charities but this was a new experience for me. One day in the hot sunshine, I sat on a kerb to listen to a talented marching band practising at the roadside. I was vaguely aware of people nearby but didn’t really take much notice. My attention was fixed firmly on the rhythmic band and music and on taking video that I could show friends on returning home.

After a while, I turned to speak to the young woman, a very poor Filipina, who had brought me to that place as her special guest. I was astonished to discover that she had vanished…and then even more astonished to see her with the other people, strangers, nearby. I became aware they were mostly elderly poor people trying to eke out a living by selling what little they could. This girl was on her knees, offering them the very food and drink we had brought for ourselves. I felt humbled and amazed.

This experience, alongside others in the Philippines since, has inspired and rekindled my desire to ‘cut the cr*p’ in my life and to live for Someone, something worthwhile. I hate that the poor are so vulnerable. It feels like a spiritual, existential journey for me. What journey are you travelling? Who is inspiring you? What are you inspiring in others?

41 Comments

Ruby Manalac

8/2/2018 10:42:59 pm

Kindness is a competency in today's world when it should be the normal not learned.Sadly, most of us will walk away from the opportunity to be kind.

Nick Wright

8/2/2018 11:20:24 pm

Hi Ruby. Thanks for such an honest response. I have to admit that I find it hard to think of kindness as a competency. Perhaps its because, for me, kindness and compassion are about attitude, spirit, stance...as well as about outward behaviour. Nevertheless, I agree that, in a way, it is sad that we often view kindness in that way.

In spite of working with charities for my entire adult life, I can think of many situations in which I have chosen to walk away...and something I have learned, am learning, from the person who inspired and inspires me in the Philippines is to walk towards. I'm aware that it is, for me, often a choice as much as an instinct.

Stella Goddard BA (Hons) Registered MBACP (Accred)

9/2/2018 08:35:09 am

I wanted to 'walk away' from this article Nick but then I felt prompted to come back. Who inspires me? Jesus does. When He walked the earth He had compassion on all but it wasn't possible for Him to stop for everyone. I believe it is different now. When we hear 30,000 the number is so large that it is almost impossible to envisage what that actually means. Perhaps we ourselves are overloaded with too much information that can lead to a sense of 'what do you want me to do about it?' Yet for myself I believe that I have a responsibility to do what I can where Jesus leads me. You do much to help many people - more than perhaps you realise.

9/2/2018 08:39:49 am

Hi Stella and thank you for coming back..! :) Thank you too for such a personal response. Yes, I can see in Jesus' life that he didn't try to be everywhere and to do everything for everyone all the time. He spent a lot of time in prayer and I guess that's how he was able to discern, choose, act, without becoming overwhelmed. I notice that this remarkable girl in the Philippines is steeped in a life of prayer too. I need to learn that discipline.

9/2/2018 09:31:15 am

Thank you Nick. I am glad I came back too :) Sometimes I just need to find my courage and speak up. For me too prayer helps.

Nick - It has just struck me that I wrote this piece yesterday and it ties in with yours - https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/importance-our-decisions-ba-hons-registered-mbacp-accred-/

9/2/2018 09:32:05 am

Hi Stella. Thanks for the blog link. It looks interesting. I will have a read!

Ruperto Arrieta Jr.

9/2/2018 11:00:33 am

Your post is interesting Nick.

I am reminded of Duterte's Kitchen project which had help centers that had to be relocated to serve the marginalized people better.

Perhaps a national ID system would allow the project to be more effective in allocating help to those who really deserve it.

More power to you Nick!

9/2/2018 11:08:21 am

Thanks Ruperto. That sounds like an interesting initiative in the Philippines. How to reach the people who need it most is a continual challenge for NGOs too.

E.G. Sebastian - CPC, CSL

9/2/2018 04:25:58 pm

The walmart lady gave us about a pound of popcorn chicken at no cost... she said the new ones will be ready in just a minute, and I'll have to throw all these out... "Well, you guys will eat them, though, right?" I asked. "Oh, hell no! Can't even touch this food after seeing it and smelling it the whole day..."

We throw away millions of tons of food every year... how cool would that be if we could give it to startving - or even hungry - people around the world... or even in this country.

We just had this long discussion with my 10-year old yesterday (who happens to be 50% Philipina), and how sad it is that in this country too there are hungry children and people, yet they can't eat this amazing food - good food - that's thrown out each and every day at 1000s of WalMarts AND other food-marts, restaurants, etc.

And, yes, it's depressing what goes on around the world - how many kids go through their little life hungry, starving... dying...

What can we do...?

9/2/2018 05:29:31 pm

Hi E.G. and thanks for posting such a personal, passionate and thought-provoking response. The situation you describe is similar to that in the UK and, I guess, in most Western countries. The amount of food we unnecessarily eat and waste is shocking...or at least it should shock us.

'What can we do..?' is such a good question, and such a difficult one to answer. In short, I don't know. it is so complex. I asked the girl in the Philippines what she is thinking when she reaches out so instinctively to those she perceives as being in need. To my astonishment, she said she isn't thinking. She sees a person in need so she simply responds in whatever way she can.

It reminds me of an old slogan by Greenpeace (I think): 'The optimism of the action is better than the pessimism of the thought.'

One of the challenges we face in the West is that, on the whole, we rarely see or experience extreme grinding poverty or get to know people personally who are living in those conditions. Even having worked in international NGOs for so many years of my life, spending time with local people in the Philippines has been a real eye opener and heart-wrenching experience for me.

What can I do? Respond to the needs, hopes and aspirations of the people I now know there as well as I can. It never feels enough but I can see how even the smallest things can make a huge difference. It may not solve global poverty, vulnerability and injustice but it can save a person's life...or at least give them a reason to smile for one day.

9/2/2018 10:09:47 pm

I actually experienced some of this first-hand in the early 90s, when I became homeless and lived at a church shelter for a whole year. Just realize, though, that that was Hungary, and the shelter provided only a "shelter" (a roof above my head) and NO food. Luckily, I knew of a place where I could get (meet-free) lunch, which kept me fed for the day :) I also took on odd jobs to put some $$$s in my pocket.

9/2/2018 10:30:51 pm

Hi E.G. You have lived an incredibly colourful life..!! I was once unemployed for a couple of years and living hand to mouth...but not actually homeless in the way you describe. I think there were a couple of key differences for me to how life is for many people in places like the Phiippines: 1. I knew it was likely to be a temporary experience rather than a rest-of-my-life thing and 2. I had friends and family to draw on for help if things became really desperate. The people living in their millions in dire poverty can be very innovative and resilient and yet, nevertheless, struggle to make enough money to eat food each day and pay the most basic of bills and have very little prospect of their situation ever changing. The most harrowing moment for me with this Mother Teresa-like girl in the Philippines was when I asked her, 'What happens if you get ill?' She replied, 'We look after each other as well as we can because we can't afford healthcare.' I responded, 'And what happens if you get REALLY ill?' She replied, 'We die.'

Susie Flashman Jarvis

10/2/2018 01:22:40 pm

I was challenged by your article about the Philippines and how we get distracted from the real issue. I have been a counsellor since 1999 and have re-trained as an executive coach leaders and executives. My passion is bringing an end to violence against women and so I collaborate with Resored- I am an ambassador.,I also signpost to the baked truth when I speak. My latest talk is even titled 'the trouble with porn' which I am taking into the business world.I was challenged by your article about the Philippines and how we get distracted from the real issue. I have been a counsellor since 1999 and have re-trained as an executive coach leaders and executives. My passion is bringing an end to violence against women and so I collaborate with Resored- I am an ambassador.,I also signpost to the baked truth when I speak. My latest talk is even titled 'the trouble with porn' which I am taking into the business world.
It sounds like we have a lot in common. It would be good to chat. Kind regards. Susie

10/2/2018 01:31:11 pm

Hi Susie. The work you are involved in sounds interesting and important. There is a very clear link between poverty, vulnerability and sexual exploitation in places like the Philippines where the infamous 'sex trade', including with children as well as with women, operates on an industrial scale.

It's not confined to the Philippines, of course. I have witnessed similar things in e.g. Thailand and Cambodia too. One of my proudest moments when working with World Vision was to see a poster in a hotel in Phnom Penh that said, in effect, 'Don't even think about it!' vis a vis sex with children. It was a stark warning and had police and World Vision logos in the corners.

It's interesting to hear of your connection with Restored. I worked with Mandy at Tearfund before she left to set up the organisation. It does great work too.

Paul Steele

11/2/2018 06:09:37 pm

Hi Nick,
for many years I tried to do what I thought was good work for the 30,000 kids in dire straits every day and more likely to be dead but then I realised the kids are the problem.
The cause of the problem (the kids) is the mothers having the kids and the men who rape and pillage across many of these populations or the women on the sub-Continent (India region) having endless pregnancy cycles because of the men who have little regard for the women, often their wives, and the about to be born starving kid.
the intervention needs to be to prevent pregnancy, that will stop the kids being a problem, by whatever means, stop the pregnancies, address the cause, solve the problem forever!
thank you

12/2/2018 10:26:05 am

Hi Paul. I think you are touching on an incredibly complex issue here. There are, for instance, correlations between poverty and the typical number of children that a family may choose to have. In the poorest communities, there are often higher levels of child mortality and people are likely to depend more on their surviving children to survive themselves, e.g. in old age. There are also cultural issues, e.g. the value placed upon a woman if she has children...or the availability of contraception. Ironically, in the Western world where we are typically far wealthier, we have the opposite problem (if we think of it as a problem) where we are having too few children to sustain our own populations in the future. As I say, it's complex!

Elly Taylor

12/2/2018 10:38:21 am

What a great question and some inspiring answers here. I'm passionate about preparing parents for the more challenging aspects of parenthood to reduce risks for postpartum mood disorders, relationship breakdown and Domestic Violence. I believe as a culture we are negligent in sending parents into parenthood without any real preparation or support. The statistics are shocking: 1 in 3 women and 1 in 5 men suffer from a perinatal mood disorder (usually anxiety or depression), at the most extreme this can result in suicide or infanticide. Domestic Violence spikes during pregnancy (especially an unplanned one) and homicide is the leading cause of death in pregnant women.

This all started for me when my husband and I both suffered from postpartum depression. Later, as a Relationship Counsellor, I realised it was mainly because we were unprepared for the reality of parenthood. My journey is to turn that around.

12/2/2018 10:44:33 am

Hi Elly. Thanks for sharing from personal experience. I too have wondered at times how it is that prospective fostering or adopting parents have to go through such rigorous checks etc. whereas I, as a parent, did not.

It sounds like your personal experience has motivated and inspired you to do some very important and meaningful work for the benefit of others.

This reminds me of the filipina girl I mention in the blog. When I ask here why she gives everything she has to others around her, she responds quite simply, 'Because I know what it's like to be poor.'

13/2/2018 03:19:29 am

I appreciate the many thoughts and expressed feeling of anguish, and heart-felt emotions at the sight of sick and helpless children. In Australia - a 1st world country - there is an estimated 662,000 kids struggling to have enough food, shelter and proper schooling every day, Australia is struggling to solve this internal issue let alone the issues in other countries facing poverty, pestilence, war and famine, some from nature, much man-made.
In my world sympathy is w waste of time and energy, if we want to move forward to deal with these issues of starving children around the world we need to have all of our governments engage in in empathetic dialogue and action. Each country needs to solve its own internal issues, exporting excess population around the world is not a sustainable answer.
I have seen teh mice plagues across the Western Australian farmlands, the mice consume everything that is edible, they breed to the excess of the food available and when that is all gone the only option is starvation.
If we as a world population can't help each other deal with what are extremely complex issues regarding how we deal with our starving world population then mother nature may lend a hand when we go over teh cliff as do the lemmings.
As Abraham Lincoln said in one of his speeches: "you can't help the poor by pulling down the rich" although teh world's 1% of the super-rich could quite easily share a lot more than what they currently do in the name of charity and philanthropy.

14/2/2018 01:28:52 pm

Hi Paul. I agree that we need to find international solutions to some of the tough challenges we face in the world. In relation to all that, at a more personal level: What journey are you travelling? Who is inspiring you? What are you inspiring in others?

Paul Steele link

18/2/2018 03:11:21 am

Hi Nick,
I observe, that is what I do, try to understand through listening and occasionally engaging in dialogue if the person sounds interesting, I don't try to influence anyone, I think that is imposing a bit of me onto them and that is not my way. I am not particularly inspired by anyone, the odd bit of writing here, and there, but no one individual. I seek my own counsel based on my observations. I do believe that before someone sticks their head over the fence and tries to 'fix' the issues (over) there, your own backyard needs to be in order; how can you 'fix' someone else's (or country) issues if you can't get your own head / house in order first. Take care

Laura West

14/2/2018 01:30:11 pm

Powerful question Nick! And powerful fact. So many of us have been moved by our own personal, community or global passion...

14/2/2018 01:32:16 pm

Thanks Laura! I am curious. Could you say more? Do you have a personal journey you could share here too?

Jeanne Schulze

14/2/2018 01:33:25 pm

Self absorption to other absorption to Jesus absorption. Or, perhaps the other way around. Today my Bible reading was "I am the vine and you are the branches....the same bringeth forth much fruit." Isn't that why we're here? Thank you, Nick. You rock. And that's no bull sh*t.

14/2/2018 01:35:44 pm

Thanks for your kinds words, Jeanne. I think that's an interesting question: Who or what are we allowing ourselves - or choosing - to be absorbed by?

Sagar Simon

15/2/2018 01:31:52 pm

All journeys are personal.

15/2/2018 01:32:35 pm

Hi Sagar. Interesting. Say more..?

Valter Correia

15/2/2018 01:33:30 pm

It is unfortunate lives are lost every single day; many of them children. I think it's also important to recognize every single day thousands in this country struggle to cope with mental illness without getting the proper treatment they desperately require.
I think it's important to be empathic to situations abroad where unnecassary lives are lost. But I'm also a strong believer, we need to keep our focus in our "backyard' first and help improve the lives of those crying for assistance.
Every day I make a positive impact in someone's life by helping them and treating them with equality and respect. In return they give me their smile and appreciation which inspires me to reach out to others who are in similar circumstances.

15/2/2018 01:39:48 pm

Hi Valter. It sounds like you are doing good and important work in the mental health field. I have experienced mental health issues personally and in close family so I agree with you about its importance. At the same time, I don't believe we need to polarise e.g. mental health vs poverty alleviation, or support in our own countries vs support overseas. At a macro level, I believe These things are interconnected. At a personal level, perhaps its about finding our own calling and focusing our attention on that?

Ada Luz Gonzalez, Ph.D.

15/2/2018 08:22:40 pm

Powerful story Nick! Thanks for sharing. In my own personal journey (through having lived in other so called third countries. . .) my aspiration is to keep an open heart to detect the needs of others. And that doesn't apply only to the poor. Many who are not so poor are poor in spirit and very unhappy. I try to bring connection of hearts through dialogue and story telling.

15/2/2018 08:28:39 pm

Thanks Ada. I like your approach to 'keep an open heart.' It is so easy to close our hearts to the needs of others. My sense is that poverty is not necessarily the issue per se but, perhaps, the terrible vulnerability that poverty can and does create. There are many forms and causes of vulnerability just as there are for unhappiness. It's good to hear of your work through dialogue and story telling.

Jo Campbell - MA. MAppSci.

16/2/2018 12:40:35 pm

When I was 14years old I heard Tony Campolo say this to a group of young, largely white Kiwi kids and it changed my life and set my early career. I was fortunate enough to have Tony as a mentor when I did my sociology masters. The story is still powerful and relevant.

16/2/2018 12:42:54 pm

Hi Jo and thanks for sharing from personal experience. I'm sure having Tony as a mentor was quite an experience too! I was impacted similarly by a speech I heard by Jim Wallace in the early 80s at Greenbelt, a UK Christian festival.

Sarah Cerda

16/2/2018 09:46:49 pm

What gives you the idea that most don't give a shit? I think most do care but most just don't have any idea how to help. Why don't you give us all some direction on how to begin. You've been heard.

16/2/2018 09:53:48 pm

Thanks Sarah. On the contrary, I agree with you that many people do care, some when prompted, and that sometimes it takes the example of someone like this Filipina to bring that spark to life. The quotation from Tony Campolo is deliberately provocative. His desire is to wake us up to the scale of need around us and to inspire us to respond. I'm encouraged to hear of your desire to respond too. I don't know which direction to point you in because it depends on your own context and sense of calling. Perhaps the first step is to be willing to look for the needs and opportunities that the world and, for me, God, presents us with and to seek to respond accordingly. I would love to hear more as your own journey progresses. I am sure you will inspire us too!

Niamh Donnellan

28/2/2018 09:25:06 am

Thanks for this powerful post - I'm still trying to figure this out for myself, but your words certainly resonate.

28/2/2018 09:26:49 am

Thanks Niamh. It sounds like you are on an important journey too.

Julia Menaul

1/3/2018 03:56:47 pm

I am grappling with impact of parental influences at 55. I had some therapy 10 yrs ago to explore poor relationship with father and impact on me & my work (especially male clients) When we ended therapist said to get in touch if wanted to come back & talk about Mum. I had no idea what she meant. Now I know...and that is next stage of the journey as a human & a coach. I just wasn't ready for in 2009.

1/3/2018 04:00:45 pm

Hi Julia. Good to hear from you again and thank you for sharing from personal experience. 'I just wasn't ready' is a valuable insight. It reminds me, us, that when working with clients on profound personal change, it's important to offer but not to force. The client will find their own timing...with space and support where needed.

Jacqueline Stearn

3/3/2018 05:14:50 pm

And what is the worthwhile that you are living for Nick? How has that experience impacted on your coaching practice?
The best I can do, aside from engaging in political action, is to offer my leadership coaching on a pro bono basis when it seems fairly clear that the impact will empower that person to action for social and environmental benefit.

3/3/2018 05:33:09 pm

Hi Jacqueline. I try, as well as I can, to live for Jesus and to do the work that I believe he calls me to. In practice, it has meant spending almost my entire adult life working for charities that seek to improve the lives of the world's most poor and vulnerable people. It influences my coaching and supervision practice too by including spiritual-existential dimensions for those clients who are interested and willing to go there. I really like the sound of what you do. Keep doing what you are doing!

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