Stealth

1/3/2019

'In ‘Leadership and Self-Deception’ (2006), the Arbinger Institute highlighted the subtle, subconscious and serious art of deceiving ourselves and others in organisations...without realising it. This short article says a bit more about this strange risk phenomenon and invites your insights and ideas on how to address it!

Is everything we know wrong?'

In 2010, the BBC released a ground-breaking Horizon documentary entitled, ‘Is Everything We Know About the Universe Wrong?’ It set out to question and challenge current, fundamental and widely-held scientific beliefs about the universe, particularly in relation to ‘dark matter’, ‘dark energy’ and ‘dark flow’. Perhaps the most radical dimension to the investigation was its willingness to wonder. Are our hypotheses, our cosmological theories, so convincing to us, so self-evidently true for us, that they blind us, close down uncomfortable questions, act as powerful psychological-cultural filters?

It coincided with the release of a plethora of popular books (e.g. Chabris & Simons’, The Invisible Gorilla, 2011; McRaney’s, You are Not so Smart, 2012) that set out to reveal and challenge our cognitive and cultural limitations and distortions. An underlying, recurring theme is that self- and group deception act in stealth mode. We are most deceived when we don’t know we’re deceived. We face the same challenges as leaders, coaches, OD or trainers: how to practise reflexivity/praxis ('critical reflective practice') whilst enabling other people, groups and organisations to do so too.

Thomas Aquinas offers useful psychodynamic insight here. If we face an unresolved question that captures our interest and imagination, it sets us off on a quest, a journey, of discovery. If, however, we find an explanation or solution that we find convincing, the mind comes to a standstill, our thinking comes to a halt. This is a reason why transformational teachers such as Jesus, Buddha and Socrates are famous for posing high order, high quality, questions, puzzles or paradoxes – searching, evocative, provocative stimuli that leave us deeply restless until, if possible, we find resolution.

So, some food for thought: As leader, coach, OD or trainer, what are you, or your clients, assuming or taking at face value? When have you, or they, leapt to a conclusion too soon, treating an open question as if it were a closed one? What rules, principles or received wisdom (e.g. ‘good practice’) do you, or they, consider obvious or sacred? When do you, or they, shut down questions or avenues of inquiry because they feel too difficult or sensitive to raise? Which tricky issues, experiences or conversations are you, or they, avoiding? How can you get self-deception out of stealth mode?

Can I help you develop critical reflective practice?
Get in touch! [email protected]

24 Comments

Sara Pearson MSc

1/3/2019 11:08:18 pm

Hi Nick, this prompts me of Latting and Ramseys ideology of ‘being in the answer’ - a narrow and focused way of thinking that limits the possibility of perceiving alternative perspectives and/or probabilities.
They suggest that a simple and powerful way to defuse this way of thinking is to dispute it, by simply asking, ‘what if’ (being in the question).

What if scenarios help provoke curiosity and inquiry enabling an individuals willingness to learn and ask questions for example, what if its not true?

Being in the question' also seeks to help 'discuss the undiscussables'.

Nick Wright

1/3/2019 11:16:38 pm

Hi Sara. Yes, you reminded me of Latting & Ramsey's work too! You may find these short related pieces interesting?

http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/in-the-question
http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/fantasy
http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/not-knowing

I draw on these principles a lot in my psychological coaching practice and have found them incredibly useful.

2/3/2019 09:30:35 am

Thanks for those, I used this principle in change management with great effect!

2/3/2019 09:31:40 am

Hi Sara. Me too. Do you have any examples from experience you could share here? I'd love to her more!

4/3/2019 02:33:12 pm

Hi Nick, I integrated this theory as part of a change management programme as resistance to change was limiting an organisations progress and growth.
My approach was based on storytelling, because a story, used as a business competency, can go where structure and strategy often fail to gain admission.
I embedded theory, personal experiences, practical examples and organisational context to provide a narrative that supported the need for change. The session was structured around a number of chapters just like a book, each chapter intending to create a sense of tension, inquiry and interest to deliver a specific and memorable message. It certainly engaged people to think about doing things differently.

4/3/2019 02:37:36 pm

Hi Sara. What a great way to inspire and evoke a spirit of curiosity. I like your way of expressing that too: 'a story...can go where structure and strategy often fail to gain admission.' In recent change workshops, I told participants 2 starkly contrasting accounts of event in my life in the past 4 years. They were shocked that both were true...and how our experiences of change are so strongly influenced by the stories we tell ourselves and each other.

Mark Leonard

7/3/2019 10:54:00 am

Hi Nick, good question! In the 'social mindfulness' programme that I've developed, the first activity is looking at an image of Duchamp's Fountain. What is it? Then sharing thoughts with a neighbour. This activity highlights the way we project meaning onto an object, how this is set up by our preconceptions about what it is, how these are different for different people as well as how there are common patterns to the way we do this. This sets the theme for the rest of the programme.
A study on the outcomes of this programme has just been published in the journal, Mindfulness, online.
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12671-019-01121-x?fbclid=IwAR3htCKD4N2OFLQrO4jZZKRcNEfZbDYX1s9BQo-kpJXgqVryrb-xRVVIhM4
They key to change is not just becoming aware of our own thoughts, beliefs and sense of self and how we construct them, but learning to explore them in a safe, social context, which develops communication skills based on curiosity, observation, listening and relatedness.

7/3/2019 11:55:47 am

Thanks Mark. I guess one of the challenges is that, often, we don't know where we are deceived. If we did, we would take steps to address it. Our self- and cultural- deceptions can be deeply embedded, deeply subconscious and heavily-defended psychologically and socially. This means that, as we reflect on that which we hold in conscious awareness, we may nevertheless remain unaware of that which lays out of awareness. Your research in this area looks interesting. Thank you for sharing it!

Cynthia Roomes

7/3/2019 11:56:47 am

I have found that reasoning or expert facilitation can impact positively/negatively on assumptions in the immediacy of the training or learning context. The skill brought most to the fore is in the ability to 'question'; to 'ask questions'; to 'question the answers'; and/or to 'accept the answers'. Key to this is the individual reality or experience. If race is on the agenda, or gender, or class, the questions and answers might have culturally defined 'settings' i.e. of "rules, principles, or received wisdom" based on lived experience. If facilitating in these culturally charged contexts (especially without lived experience) it is important to break down the 'stealth barriers' through openness and transparency, the counter to 'self deception' and perhaps to first ask questions of oneself, to bring oneself closer to the answers the learners are seeking to find.

7/3/2019 12:01:29 pm

Hi Cynthia. Perhaps 'question the questions' too can be a way to raise subconscious issues into awareness? I found your insights vis a vis lived experience interesting. One the one hand, lived experience can add insight, wisdom and credibility as well as raise issues into awareness that may otherwise be absent. On the other hand, lived experience can reinforce existing personal and cultural narratives rather than challenge them. This is where, I think, critical reflective practice and exposure to different relationships and environments in order to broaden our lived experience can be so valuable.

8/3/2019 12:06:44 pm

Yes I think it it can Nick. But there is an interesting converse to explore i.e. if we broaden our lived experience through interaction with others who have a lived experience, maybe because 'they know', are we creating enough opportunities to be challenged. If the lived experience is unknown, why would we want to or need to be challenged, is it not enough just 'to know', to gain the knowledge so that at least assumptions are based on a perceived and/or perceivable reality, rather than stealth and deception. Some of the greatest training outcomes are the ones where simply what is unknown becomes known, nothing more, nothing less.

The ability to question is 'one of the most powerful tools in the human psyche' and the power of the question and it's ability to affect change are well illustrated by the examples (from Jesus to Buddah) you gave in your article. They can be revolutionary.

8/3/2019 12:09:40 pm

Thanks Cynthia. I am fascinated by your reflections on lived experience...yet not sure I have fully understood them. Do you have an example from experience you could share here that would illustrate the points you are making?

9/3/2019 10:43:45 am

Perhaps you could check out #UserVoice - a service user led non-profit 'transforming rehabilitation through real collaboration' and focused on the criminal justice system. A person who has been through the CJS acts a role model (trained and qualified service user representative up to OCN level 3) to affect change in the lives of other offenders inside the prison gates, and in the CJS through service user involvement outside the prison gates.
I have no 'lived experience' of going through the CJS, and in this context: no requirement to challenge - the service users provide 'lived experience expertise', no need for assumptions - service users are telling it like it is, no stealth - their circumstances are known through their own personal accounts/records, no self-deception - the interventions and interactions are based on what is known, the solutions are collaboratively defined based on actuality.
Someone with no experience of the CJS could not achieve the same results in the same context.
So Nick - I'm making points in response to your post, just sharing a perspective based on my experience as a facilitator, a writer of learning materials, and a long-time non-profit/charity worker. They may or may not be relevant to anyone else.

9/3/2019 10:46:17 am

Hi Cynthia. Thank you for sharing such an interesting case example of benefits of lived experience - much appreciated.

10/3/2019 12:39:15 pm

You're welcome Nick. And for more service user insights from a lived experience perspective, the User Voice #SpiceReport is groundbreaking, well worth reading.

10/3/2019 12:39:40 pm

Thanks Cynthia.

Tom Donaldson

7/3/2019 03:21:09 pm

The book you cite is a "must read" along with a later book from Arbinger Institute, "The Anatomy of Peace."

7/3/2019 03:21:48 pm

Hi Tom. Yes, I found it very profound - and I like Anatomy of Peace too.

Diana Rickman

8/3/2019 11:55:57 am

Wow! Great article and insights Nick. I've been lucky enough to be mentored by 2 people who threw up the sort of high order and high quality questions you mention and every time it took me days or weeks sometimes before i started to 'get it'. It was hard work and I had to challenge my current way of thinking to make sense of the problem or question. Exponential growth and change for me each time though.

8/3/2019 12:00:58 pm

Thanks Diana! :) I like your comment, '...it took me days or weeks sometimes before I started to get it.' You may like this short related piece? http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/exploring-platos-cave Let me know if that resonates for you too.

Carl Flynn

8/3/2019 12:02:04 pm

I think some of the biggest self-deception is in the pseudo-scientific fields of coaching, counselling and therapy and those who believe they can “help” others. A self-deceptive narcissism!! The strength of your personal reaction to this possibility will speak volumes about your unconscious motivation!!

8/3/2019 12:05:07 pm

Hi Carl. What an intriguing response! Can you say more..? On a different but related theme, you may find this piece interesting, including the conversation that followed: http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/spotlight Let me know what you think?

Ivan Petarnichki

9/3/2019 10:49:27 am

Nick, thank you for this article. Our primal instinct is the survival instinct and stemming from it is our need for certainty. Uncertainty frightens us. This is why we settle for the first acceptable and practically useful answer of the questions we ask ourselves. As long as this answer helps us to survive it is considered good enough and is accepted as true. Because it gives us certainty. At least for the moment. In future if the answer is proven by experience gathered to be untrue and threatening our survival the answer is discarded and new answer is sought and found.
This is human nature. We wonder in uncertainty land only when we have certainty to go back to. With other words one can explore questions of the nature of black holes only when his basic survival needs of food, shelter, safety, etc. are met.
We may fall in the trap of staying in our comfort zone, And most often we do. So the article is thought provoking and it is a source of questions we should seriously consider.
But at the same time this same notion - the mind coming to a standstill after finding an explanation or solution that we find convincing - could be used for our and our clients benefit.
Here is how it could be done. Instead of encouraging repetitive affirmations we could ask questions that evoke desirable answers.
For example: Let's say my client has a belief that she is not good enough. Instead of telling her to repeat affirming to herself: "I am good enough" 100 times a day. I tell her to ask herself repeatedly the question: "Why am I good enough?" and write down or the answers she comes up with.
This will bring much faster desirable results than repeating the affirmation: "I am good enough." Why? Because when we say an affirmation the mind goes in comparison mode and checks if this statement is congruent with what is previously recorded as true. As the new affirmation contradicts the old belief the mind will immediately start to reject it and to find reasons why it is not true. Eventually with time, persistence and repetitions a new belief will be formed.
While with the question the critical faculty of the mind is surpassed and the mind automatically searches and finds reasons why the disguised statement is true. So a new belief is created much much faster.

9/3/2019 11:07:23 am

Thanks Ivan. I like your illustration of the client asking herself questions rather than simply repeating self-affirmations. It has resonances with ideas in positive psychology, e.g. 'When am I at my best?' or What do I do well?' It invites an opening, affirming search rather than poses a closed statement to be accepted. I'm not sure, however, whether the notion that 'uncertainty frightens us' is necessarily universally true. Some prefer the security of certainty. Others prefer the excitement of uncertainty. You may find this short piece on a different-but-related theme interesting? http://www.nick-wright.com/blog/difference

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